Coach Meecham - Football/Driver's Ed
(Ep 76 - "Soccer")
(Shot of the school hallway and trophy case.)
There's one in every high school in America. The trophy case. Filled with winged statues,
and siver-plated victory cups...all monuments to the winning spirit. To team play. To greatness on the field. Not just anyone could get inside that case.
(Cut to Kevin in his football uniform as the team lines up.)
You had to be a winner. You had to have...determination.
Down! Set! Fifteen!
You had to have...
(Kevin is playing receiver, and lines up opposite a large defender.)
(Kevin runs a pattern, catches the ball and is immediately tackled.)
And most importantly...
(Coach Meecham blows his whistle.)
Arnold! Over here.
You had to make the cut.
You gave it everything you got today, son.
Thanks! (Smiles.) That mean I made the team?
You gotta be joking. Hit the showers.
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(Ep 80 - "Road Test")
(In the driver's ed car.)
OK, now, Miss Pedermeir - let's try it again.
Only this time - easy on the brake. (Gestures.) 'Kay?
Which one's the brake?
(Coach Meecham's smile fades as he looks forward.)
(Kevin frowns and glances from Alice to Coach Meecham.)
The final demarcation line between those who could...
(Kevin glances at Harold, then Slovoski.)
And those who probably shouldn't.
(On the road again.)
Easy gas...easy brake...easy gas -
(Alice screeches to a stop, and the guys jerk forward.)
By the second week of on-the-road training...
(Harold holds something up and looks at it.)
One thing was becoming clear.
Yucccch - old gum.
(Slovoski turns toward Harold.)
Yeah? Heh - what flavor?
(Harold hands the gum to Slovoski.)
When it came to operating a motor-vehicle...these other kids were gonna need a lot of help.
That's fine for today, Miss Pedermeir.
(Coach Meecham clenches his teeth and looks down at his clipboard as Alice turns toward him.)
I thought you said we were gonna do freeways - I want to do freeways!
Fortunately, in this car full of jokers...
(Coach Meecham looks at his clipboard.)
The coach had one ace up his sleeve.
Arnold! You ready?
Sure am! (Smiles.)
(On the road as Kevin drives.)
Who was born to drive.
(Kevin looks over his shoulder to check traffic, then changes lanes.)
(He smiles and looks at his clipboard.)
Well, I did my best. (Smiles.)
And, put simply...my best was a lot better than anyone else's.
I'd like everyone to note how Arnold here looked over his left shoulder before merging.
(Coach Meecham looks over his shoulder.)
That's, uh, this one...(taps his shoulder)...Slovoski. (Laughs.) And look at that hand-position, a perfect ten-and-two. The motor-vehicle people are gonna be looking for that.
Thanks, coach. (Smiles.)
Yeah, I didn't wanna brag...
(Shot of a portion of the school parking lot, with an area outlined with orange plastic cones, as the car approaches.)
But let's face it - I had it all...the reflexes, the instincts, the timing. The whole repertoire.
(Kevin stops the car.)
Well, almost the whole repertoire.
(Coach Meecham looks at his watch.)
OK, we got a couple of minutes here...so why don't we jump ahead to our next section? Parallel parking. It will be on your road test. I repeat, it will be on the test.
Heh-heh, you almost had to feel sorry for the poor saps.
Arnold - why don't we show 'em how it's done? She's all yours.
Course it was only right I should be the first.
(Kevin adjusts the shift-lever. Coach Meecham points.)
Left hand at noon...right arm over the bench.
After all, I was the natural.
Now, ease her on in.
Yep, here it was - the final frontier.
You...got it. (Smiles.)
The last thing standing between me and the open road. Get this...and I was home free.
(Close shot of the cones as the car backs up over them noisily. Kevin frowns as Coach Meecham makes notes on his clipboard.)
And that's when it happened.
What happened? (Frowns.)
You knocked over a cone! (Smiles.) He knocked over a cone!
I did? (Frowns.)
You creamed it!
Course, it could have happened to anybody. Still for some reason it rattled me.
Let me do that again!
(Coach Meecham makes notes on his clipboard as the bell rings.)
Sorry. We're out of time. We'll try it again next time. See you all on Thursday!
(Another day in driver's ed. Kevin is at the wheel. Coach Meecham makes notes on his clipboard.)
OK, we'll try it again. (Gestures.) Left hand at noon...right arm over the bench. You ready, Arnold? (Nods.)
Of course I was ready.
(Kevin looks over his shoulder and frowns.)
Slovoski, move your head!
I was just a little tense, that's all. After all, I had a reputation at stake here.
(High wide shot of the designated parking space and cones as the car approaches.)
Still, with the proper amount of concentration...
You got it...(Smiles.)
Plus the old God-given natural instincts...
You got it.
(Kevin smiles slightly as he steers. He stops the car and looks forward as he adjusts the shift-lever.)
Yeah, what a comeback. From here on in it was gonna be smooth sailin'.
(Coach Meecham makes notes on his clipboard, then opens the door and looks down. Sound of a boat horn and bells. The car is parked about 3 or 4 feet from the edge of the parking space.)
If you didn't mind swimming to the curb.
He missed! (Laughs.)
(Coach Meecham makes notes on his clipboard.)
Maybe next time we can try parking the rest of the car. (Smiles.)
(Everyone but Kevin laughs.)
(Another day. Overhead shot of the driver's ed car slowly pulling into a parking space.)
OK now, ease her on in. And...perfect.
The thing was, the harder I tried, the worse things got.
(Coach Meecham makes a note on his clipboard.)
(Grubner turns around and smiles. Kevin is in the middle of the back seat and smiles slightly, then looks off.)
I guess you could say it was starting to affect my self-image.
That's almost everyone.
(Coach Meecham looks over his shoulder toward Kevin.)
Your turn, Bo-Peep. (Laughs.)
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