Episode 76 - Soccer
OPENING SEQUENCE
Int. Day - McKinley Hallway
(Shot down the hallway of a set of glass display cases. The camera moves in slowly as some Snuffy guitar plays.)
There's one in every high school in America. The trophy case.
(Fade to closer shot of one case, showing a collection of trophies. The camera pans across.)
Filled with winged statues, and siver-plated victory cups...
(Slow fade to b/w photograph of the swimming (?) team and the coach.)
All monuments to the winning spirit.
(Fade to a b/w photgraph of a basketball team.)
To team play.
(The camera pans across.)
To greatness on the field.
(Fade to b/w photo of the football team.)
Not just anyone could get inside that case.
Fade to
Ext. Day - McKinley Football Field
(Close shot of Kevin as he pats his football helmet onto his head as the music fades.)
You had to be a winner.
(Kevin approaches very close to the camera.)
(Close shot of a large opposing player frowning and growling at Kevin off-screen.)
You had to have...
(Close shot of Kevin looking at the opposing player off-screen.)
(Shot from the opposing team's side of the line toward the quarterback. Kevin is playing receiver.)
Determination.
(Shot down the line of scrimmage as Kevin and the other players get set.)
QUARTERBACK (V/O): Down!
(They take their stances. The camera moves in on Kevin and the opposing player.)
QUARTERBACK (V/O): Set! Fifteen!
You had to have...
(Close shot of the opposing player frowning at Kevin off-screen.)
QUARTERBACK (V/O): Twenty-two! Thirty-five!
(Close shot of Kevin looking at the opposing player off-screen.)
Guts.
(Shot of the football and the center's hands.)
QUARTERBACK (V/O): Hut, hut!
(The center snaps the ball.)
(Wider shot as Kevin runs a pattern. He catches the ball and is immediately tackled.)
(Close shot of Kevin as he is pushed onto the ground.)
And most importantly...
(Shot of the coach holding a clipboard, looking at Kevin off-screen.)
COACH MEECHAM: Arnold! (Gestures.) Over here.
(Close shot of Kevin lying on the grass, looking at the coach off-screen.)
(Wider shot of Kevin and a few opposing players in the background as Kevin gets up.)
You had to make the cut.
(Kevin trots toward the coach as he undoes his chin-strap. The camera pans with him.)
KEVIN: Yeah, coach?
(Shot from behind Kevin of the coach looking at him.)
COACH MEECHAM: You gave it everything you got today, son.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at the coach off-screen.)
KEVIN: Thanks! (Smiles.)
(Kevin glances over his shoulder and gestures.)
KEVIN: That mean I made the team?
(Shot past Kevin of the coach looking at him.)
COACH MEECHAM: You gotta be jokin'.
(Close shot of Kevin glancing off.)
COACH MEECHAM (V/O): Hit the showers.
(Kevin frowns at the coach.)
(Wider shot of both as Kevin passes the coach and approaches the camera.)
That fall of my sophomore year, one thing was clear.
(Another player passes the camera and bumps into Kevin.)
No matter how hard I tried...
(Kevin frowns and passes the camera.)
Cut to
Int. Day - The Bus
(Shot down the column of seats as Kevin sits near the camera.)
The wide world of sports wasn't wide enough to include me.
(Kevin sighs and looks forward.)
Face it. I was five-foot-four, and a hundred-and-ten pounds.
(Kevin glances off.)
What team could I play on?
(A black-and-white ball bounces off the window and Kevin's head, landing in his lap.)
And that's when it hit me.
(Kevin frowns at the ball as he holds it up.)
(A boy (Nick) sits behind Kevin.)
NICK: Sorry. Slipped away from me. (Smiles.)
(Kevin looks at him.)
KEVIN: That's OK.
(Shot past Nick of Kevin looking at the ball, then Nick.)
KEVIN: What's this? (Frowns.)
NICK: It's a soccer ball. Why?
(Kevin glances off.)
KEVIN: Well, nothing.
(Kevin looks at the ball.)
KEVIN: I just...haven't seen that many around.
(Shot of both looking at each other.)
Keep in mind this was nineteen-seventy-one.
(They look at the ball. Kevin spins it slightly.)
Soccer hadn't yet become the national past-time it is today.
KEVIN: So do you play?
(Kevin holds the ball toward Nick.)
NICK: Oh, sure.
(Nick takes the ball. Then smiles as he rolls his eyes up and shrugs.)
NICK: I kick it around a little.
(Nick holds his hand up in the Vulcan salute. Kevin nods slightly, then frowns as he turns forward.)
KEVIN: Great.
NICK: Actually, I'm on the team.
(Nick looks at the ball and spins it slightly. Kevin looks mildly surprised.)
Call it...
(Shot of Kevin turning around toward Nick off-screen.)
A revelation.
KEVIN: The team?
(Close shot of Nick looking at Kevin off-screen.)
NICK: The soccer team. (Nods.) We started practice yesterday. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking off and frowning.)
KEVIN: Wait a minute.
(Kevin looks toward Nick off-screen.)
KEVIN: Our school has a soccer team? (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Nick looking at Kevin off-screen.)
NICK: New this year. (Nods.) Pretty cool, huh? (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Nick off-screen.)
Consider, if you will, the thoughts that ran through my head.
(Kevin looks off.)
"A", McKinley High had a team no-one knew about.
(Kevin looks toward Nick off-screen.)
And "B"...
(Close shot of Nick as he spins the ball absent-mindedly.)
This doofus was on it.
(The ball taps Nick on the chin.)
NICK: Ow. (Frowns.)
(Nick rubs his chin.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking off.)
Which led to "C".
(Kevin frowns, and looks at Nick off-screen.)
KEVIN: Where do you guys practice?
(Shot past Kevin of Nick looking at him.)
NICK: Dirt auxilliary football field. (Nods.) Down by the brook, through the woods. (Frowns.) Why, you interested?
(Close shot of Kevin looking off.)
"D".
Cut to
Ext. Day - Auxilliary Football Filed
(Shot of Kevin walking down a wooded path.)
It was worth a look.
(The camera pans with Kevin as he passes it. Kevin pauses and looks toward a group of guys on the filed in the distance.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the guys off-screen.)
But what I saw when I got there, was the biggest collection...
(Closer shot of the guys. One heavy set kid (Andy) bounces the ball off another kid. The camera pans with another guy (Chuck) as he repeatedly bounces the ball off his chest.)
Of dorks since my fourth-grade cotillion class...
(Nick is riding on the back of another player.)
Playing on a moth-eaten field that was...
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the guys off-screen.)
Half-way to grandma's house.
(Kevin frowns and glances off.)
This was definitely not for me.
(Kevin starts to turn away.)
NICK (V/O): Hey, you!
(Kevin looks toward the guys off-screen.)
(Shot of the guys as Nick trots toward the camera, which pans slightly to include Kevin.)
NICK: Glad you showed up.
(He puts his hands on his hips.)
NICK: We're pioneering the uncharted universe here. (Smiles.)
(He crosses his arms.)
(Shot past Nick of Kevin looking at him.)
KEVIN: Great.
Uh-huh.
KEVIN: But, uh...I don't think I really...(frowns)...fit in. (Shrugs.)
(Shot past Kevin of Nick looking at him.)
NICK: Why? I think you'd be great! And besides...(gestures)...we're one guy short! (Smiles.)
(Shot past Nick of Kevin looking at him.)
KEVIN: Yeah. Well...thanks for telling me about it, anyway. (Smiles.)
Hey...
(Shot past Kevin as Nick returns to the group in the background.)
Being on a team was one thing. But...
(Shot of Kevin as he turns away.)
Playing with these jokers?
CHUCK (V/O): Hey!
(Wide shot of Kevin and the group behind him. Kevin turns as the ball rolls toward him.)
CHUCK: A little help?
(Kevin stops the ball with his foot.)
CHUCK: Kick it back!
(Close shot of the ball as Kevin kicks it. The camera pans with the ball as it rolls back to Chuck, who picks it up.)
CHUCK: Wow. (Smiles.) Where'd you learn how to do that?
(Shot of Kevin looking at Chuck off-screen. He glances down, then looks at Chuck again.)
KEVIN: What?
(Shot of Leigh, Chuck and Nick looking at Kevin off-screen as Chuck wipes his forehead with his arm.)
LEIGH: Kick like that.
(Shot of Kevin looking at the guys off-screen.)
KEVIN: I don't know. (Gestures.) Lucky, I guess. (Smiles.)
(Shot of Chuck and the others. They approach slowly as Chuck tosses the ball from hand to hand.)
CHUCK: Yeah, well...good shot!
(Wider shot past Kevin of the guys approaching.)
CHUCK: Superstar.
(Close shot of Kevin looking off and smiling slightly as the camera moves in.)
The amazing thing was...
(Shot past Kevin of the guys pausing in front of him.)
These guys were serious.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)
CHUCK (V/O): So. You gonna join us?
(Shot of two kids looking at Kevin off-screen. The camera pans across the others looking toward him.)
And that's when I realized...in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)
KEVIN: Well...maybe I'll go talk to the coach. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Nick looking at Kevin off-screen.)
NICK: Great! (Smiles.)
(Nick points behind himself.)
NICK: He-he's over there.
(The camera focusses on an older man sitting in the bleachers, wearing a hat, and looking at a magazine.)
NICK (V/O): Pops McIntyre.
(Wider shot of Kevin and the guys.)
NICK: Go ahead.
(Kevin smiles and approaches the camera.)
(Wide shot of Coach McIntyre looking at the magazine as Kevin passes the camera.)
It was kind of a big moment.
(The camera rolls forward.)
The future superstar stepping up to the man who would shape his athletic career.
(Kevin slows up in front of the bleachers.)
(Shot past Coach McIntyre of Kevin looking at him.)
KEVIN: Coach McIntyre?
(Closer shot of Coach McIntyre looking at the magazine and wiping his face with a handkerchief as he blows out his cheeks.)
The man...with all the answers.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
(Shot past Kevin of Coach McIntyre looking up from his magazine toward Kevin.)
The man...
COACH McINTYRE: You bring my juice? (Frowns.)
(Shot past Coach McIntyre of Kevin looking at him, slightly confused.)
Who wanted juice.
KEVIN: Uh...no.
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre looking at the magazine.)
COACH McINTYRE: Hot as hell out here, isn't it?
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
KEVIN: Yeah. It is. (Smiles.)
COACH McINTYRE (V/O): So...what can I do for ya?
KEVIN: Well, actually...I came to sign up for the team.
(Shot past Kevin of Coach McIntyre looking up from his magazine toward Kevin.)
COACH McINTYRE: Why's that?
(Shot past Coach McIntyre of Kevin looking off and smiling slightly.)
Obviously, the coach didn't realize he was in the presence of such raw talent.
KEVIN: Well...(Smiles.)
(Kevin looks over his shoulder.)
KEVIN: Maybe you saw the way I just kicked the ball over there?
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre looking at Kevin off-screen.)
COACH McINTYRE: Yeah, I saw it.
(He looks at his magazine.)
On the other hand...
(Coach McIntyre takes of his glasses and looks off, frowning slightly.)
This guy didn't just want another hot-dogger.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
He wanted sincerity.
KEVIN: Listen. I don't know that much about soccer.
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre looking at Kevin off-screen.)
KEVIN (V/O): But I'd be willing to learn, and give it my best.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
KEVIN: I just want to be part of the team.
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre as he stands up and looks at Kevin off-screen.)
COACH McINTYRE: Is that so? (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
And with that, our bond was forged.
(Shot from behind Kevin as Coach McIntyre steps down from the bleachers as he puts his glasses into his jacket pocket.)
The bond of trust. Admiration. Respect.
KEVIN: So, I...guess we'll be working together.
COACH McINTYRE: Suit yourself.
(Coach McIntyre walks past Kevin toward the camera.)
COACH McINTYRE: Where's my juice?!
(Coach McIntyre walks past the camera. Kevin looks after him off-screen.)
No question about it.
(Kevin takes a few small steps forward.)
It was the dawn of a new era.
Cut to
Int. Evening - Arnold Kitchen
(Shot of Norma looking down as she puts some food on a plate.)
NORMA: Soccer? Isn't that where they use the brooms to sweep in front of the little...thingy?
(She turns toward the table. The camera pans with her to include the guys sitting at the table.)
WAYNE: That's curling, Mom.
(Norma sets the plate down, then sits down as Wayne looks at Kevin.)
WAYNE: Soccer's where...little boys chase the ball around in shorts and knee-socks.
(Shot past Wayne of Kevin lookiing at him.)
KEVIN: Shut up, butthead! (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Norma looking at Kevin off-screen.)
NORMA: Well, I'm very proud of you, honey. (Smiles.)
(Wide shot of all from behind Norma.)
KEVIN: Thanks, Mom.
(Shot past Kevin of Jack looking down at his food.)
JACK: Who's coachin'?
(Shot past Jack of Kevin looking at him, then glancing off.)
KEVIN: Uh, nobody. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Norma looking at Kevin off-screen.)
NORMA: Nobody?
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Norma off-screen.)
KEVIN: Well, just some old guy named McIntyre.
(Close shot of Jack looking forward.)
JACK: McIntyre. (Frowns.)
(He looks toward Kevin off-screen.)
JACK: Pops McIntyre?
(Shot past Jack of Kevin looking at him.)
KEVIN: You know him?
(Shot past Kevin of Jack looking down and chuckling.)
JACK: Huh.
(He looks toward Kevin.)
JACK: He was only the greatest football coach the school ever had. (Smiles.)
(Shot past Jack of Kevin looking at him.)
KEVIN: Really? (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Kevin off-screen.)
JACK: Sure. That guy was a legend.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)
JACK (V/O): Yeah, the guy was one hell of a coach.
(Close shot of Jack looking off.)
JACK: They called him "the bear". (Smiles.)
Hmmm. Hard to believe the man...
(Jack looks at Kevin off-screen and smiles.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking off.)
My father was talking about was the same Pops McIntyre.
(Kevin looks at Jack off-sceen.)
JACK (V/O): The bear...
(Close shot of Jack looking forward.)
JACK: Always pacin', always growlin'...(Frowns.)
(He smiles and looks at Kevin off-screen.)
JACK: He never sat down.
(Jack smiles and looks forward. Sound of a growling bear.)
Cut to
Ext. Day - Auxilliary Football Field
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre's legs as the soccer ball rolls toward him.)
Well, think of it this way...
(The ball taps a bottle of prune juice, then the coach's shoes.)
Maybe the bear...was hibernating.
(Coach McIntyre reaches down for the jar of juice. The camera pans up as Coach McIntyre looks at the bottle.)
CHUCK (V/O): Pops?
(Shot of Kevin and Chuck, and others behind them, looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen. Chuck frowns, then cups his hands to his mouth.)
CHUCK: Pops? (Gestures.) Kick it back?
(Shot of Coach McIntyre as he puts the lid back on the bottle.)
CHUCK (V/O): Pops?
(Shot of Kevin and Chuck, and others behind them. Chuck frowns and shrugs, then turns toward the other guys.)
CHUCK: Has anybody got another ball?
(Kevin trots past the camera.)
It just didn't add up.
(Wider shot of Coach McIntyre on the bottom row of the bleachers as Kevin approaches him and picks up the ball.)
What was with this guy?
KEVIN: So. How we doin'?
(Kevin throws the ball toward the guys off-screen. Coach McIntyre lifts his cup slightly and looks at it.)
COACH McINTYRE: Fine, fine.
KEVIN: Well, what do you think about our prospects for this season? (Gestures.)
COACH McINTYRE: Terrific.
(Closer shot of both as Coach McIntyre stands up and looks behind him.)
COACH McINTYRE: Where's my cushion? I know I left it somewhere...
At least one thing seemed clear...
(Kevin looks toward the guys off-screen.)
When it came to coaching...this coach couldn't care less.
(Closer shot of Kevin looking toward the guys off-screen.)
Of course, maybe there was a reason for that.
(Close shot of the ball rolling through someone's legs.)
Take Nick Bott, for example.
(The camera pans up to Nick, who kicks the ball.)
The most uncoordinated kid I ever met.
(Another guy bumps into Nick, who falls down. He looks toward Kevin off-screen, makes the Vulcan salute, and smiles.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at him off-screen.)
Not to mention the biggest "Star Trek" fan.
(Kevin smirks.)
(Shot of Andy sitting on the grass, tying his shoelace, and holding something in his mouth.)
And Andy Collin.
(A ball hits him on the head, and he looks up. Sound of a growling bear.)
I never saw a lazier kid.
(Shot of Chuck and other guys.)
And who could forget Chuck Coleman? "Mr. Fidget".
(Chuck hops around, twitches, and swats flies.)
The kid meant well enough...
(Chuck taps himself on the chest.)
But he elevated annoying to an art form.
(Chuck hops around and taps himself again. He frowns and grimaces as the ball hits him in the chest.)
(Close shot of Kevin smiling and looking off in another direction.)
(Shot of Leigh looking forward, then smiling.)
And Leigh Fitzpatrick.
(Leigh looks down as he hops around slightly. The camera pans down his skinny legs. He is wearing "Hush Puppy" shoes.)
Sweet guy, but a bundle of nerves.
(He dances a few more times, then steps forward toward the ball.)
All-in-all, we were a team that could most-charitably be described as...
(He kicks the ball.)
(Shot of Kevin and Coach McIntyre. Coach McIntyre is bent over looking for his cushion, and Kevin ducks as a ball bangs into the bleachers.)
COACH McINTYRE: What the hell was that?
(Coach McIntyre stands up slowly and looks over his shoulder.)
KEVIN: Do you need some help there?
(Coach McIntyre holds a circular cushion.)
COACH McINTYRE: Nope.
(Coach McIntyre sets the cushion on the seat.)
COACH McINTYRE: Everything's under control.
(He looks at Kevin, then sits down gingerly. He looks down his magazine as he starts to open it.)
Cut to
Int. Day - Locker Room
(Shot of the guys entering the locker room in single file. The first kid walks past the camera, and Chuck looks over his shoulder.)
CHUCK: Guys, I think we are really gettin' good out there!
(Chuck and another kid walk past the camera.)
LEIGH: Yeah.
(Andy walks past the camera.)
LEIGH: We only kicked the ball over the fence three times today.
(Leigh walks past the camera, which pans with Kevin.)
Dorks, goofballs, a coach who wouldn't coach...
(Kevin sits on the bench.)
Somehow this whole thing wasn't working out the way I'd planned.
(Nick approaches behind Kevin.)
NICK: What do you think, Kev?
(Nick sits down on the other bench facing Kevin, who looks over his shoulder.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Nick off-screen.)
KEVIN: About what?
(Shot of Nick sitting, and Andy, Leigh and Chuck standing behind him.)
NICK: Well, about how things are goin'.
(Close shot of Kevin looking off.)
KEVIN: Well...I don't know, guys.
(Kevin looks at them off-screen.)
KEVIN: I mean, I'm new here, but...doesn't it seem like somethin's missing? (Frowns.)
(Shot of Nick, Andy, Leigh and Chuck.)
ANDY: Missing? (Shrugs.) Like what?
(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)
KEVIN: Well, I mean, we are playing soccer, right? (Nods.) So...maybe we should start learning some plays.
(Close shot of Nick looking toward Kevin off-screen. Sound of a bell.)
Course, it was only a suggestion.
(Close shot of Leigh looking off and nodding. Sound of a bell.)
Still...
(Close shot of Chuck looking at the guys off-screen, then smiling at Kevin off-screen and nodding.)
CHUCK: Plays. (Nods.)
(Sound of a bell.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)
CHUCK (V/O): Great idea!
(Shot of Nick, Andy, Leigh and Chuck looking at Kevin off-screen.)
It was like watching Edison invent the lightbulb.
Cut to
Int. Day - Coach McIntyre's Office
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre.)
COACH McINTYRE: What can I do for ya?
(Shot past Coach McIntyre of Nick, Chuck and Kevin looking at him.)
NICK: Well...we-we wanted to talk about learning some plays.
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre looking at them off-screen.)
COACH McINTYRE: Plays?
(Close shot of Chuck looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
CHUCK: Look, it's not that we don't appreciate what you've done for us so far, it's...
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre looking at them off-screen.)
CHUCK (V/O): Just that...
(Coach frowns and nods.)
COACH McINTYRE: Plays?
(Shot of Nick, Chuck and Kevin as Chuck looks toward the corner of the desk.)
CHUCK: Well, look...
(Chuck holds up a black book and looks at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
CHUCK: What about this play-book? (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre looking at the book off-screen.)
COACH McINTYRE: Well...(nods)...those are plays. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Chuck looking at the book and chewing his gum.)
CHUCK: Well...
(He looks toward Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
CHUCK: Can we at least work from it?
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre looking at Chuck off-screen.)
COACH McINTYRE: I don't think that book's gonna do you a lot of good.
(Close shot of Chuck frowning slightly at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
Still, even Pops couldn't quell...
(Close shot of Nick looking away.)
The tide of youth.
(Nick looks toward Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
Enthusiasm.
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre looking toward the window and frowning.)
(Shot of Leigh, and three others looking in at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
Dorkdom.
COACH McINTYRE (V/O): But...
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre looking at the guys off-screen.)
COACH McINTYRE: If ya wanna learn plays...
(Close shot of Chuck looking down.)
COACH McINTYRE (V/O): Suit yourself.
(Chuck looks up and smiles at Coach McIntyre as he chews his gum.)
(Shot past Coach McIntyre of the guys.)
CHUCK: Terrific!
NICK: Great!
CHUCK: Great! Thanks!
(Chuck starts to open the door.)
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre looking at the guys off-screen and smirking slightly.)
And there ya had it.
(Shot past Coach McIntyre of the guys as Chuck and Nick exit.)
CHUCK (V/O): Guys! We got plays!
Sure, it wasn't much, but...
(Close shot of Kevin pausing at the door.)
It was a start.
(Kevin looks over his shoulder and smiles.)
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre holding up his open "Western Outdoor" magazine and looking at it as some Snuffy guitar plays.)
Cut to
Ext. Day - Auxilliary Football Field
(Shot thought the net of a goal as Kevin approaches from off the field.)
And who knew? Maybe with the right combination of coaching and raw talent...
(Shot from Kevin's perspective through the net of the guys lining up, facing away.)
We'd actually make something of ourselves.
(Kevin walks past the camera as the music fades.)
CHUCK: OK - seventeen! Thirty-four!
(Close shot of Kevin looking at the guys off-screen.)
(Shot of the guys.)
CHUCK: Set back! OK. Twenty-four. Red right! And...
(Chuck swats some flies off his leg.)
CHUCK: Hike!
(The center hikes the ball. Leigh starts running down the field, and Chuck punts the ball.)
(All the guys start running down the field waving their arms and yelling. Leigh catches the ball and runs forward with it.)
Or maybe, just maybe...
(Leigh drops the ball and kicks it into the goal.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at the guys off-screen.)
It was gonna be the longest season in recorded history.
Fade to
Ext. Day - Auxilliary Football Field
(Shot of the guys lined up, doing "jumping jacks". The camera pans across slowly as some guitar plays.)
After the great football-playbook fiasco...lesser men might have hung it up. But for some reason, my teammates hung in there. Maybe we were really trying to get good.
(The camera stops on Kevin, and Chuck behind him.)
Maybe we were just trying to get Pops...
(Shot past Kevin of Coach McIntyre sitting in the bleachers, napping.)
To pay attention to us.
(Shot of Kevin and Chuck doing jumping jacks.)
In any event...
(Close shot of Coach McIntyre slumped down, napping.)
It wasn't working.
(Music fades.)
Cut to
Locker Room
(Close shot of Leigh looking forward, with his cheek on his fist. Loud banging on metal is heard. The camera pans across to Andy who is lying on his back on the bench, licking a lollipop.)
Pretty soon, morale began to plummet.
(The camera pans up slightly to Nick, who is sitting on the far bench, repeatedly bouncing the ball against the lockers.)
Team spirit hit an all-time low.
(The camera pans across to Chuck, who is resting his cheek against his hand and twitching. The camera pans across.)
As for me...
(The camera stops on Kevin who is looking forward glumly.)
My dreams of glory on the playing field were fading. Fast.
(Kevin looks toward Nick off-screen, who is still noisily bouncing the ball against the lockers.)
Cut to
McKinley Hallway
(Shot of Coach McIntyre's reflection in the glass of the trophy case as the school bell rings.)
There was only one thing to do.
(The camera pans over to Coach McIntyre as he looks into the showcase. Kevin approaches from behind.)
KEVIN: Pops, can I talk to you?
COACH McINTYRE: About what?
(Coach McIntyre looks in the case.)
KEVIN: Well, about the team.
(Shot past Kevin of Coach McIntyre turning toward him and frowning.)
KEVIN: The soccer team.
(Coach looks forward and nods.)
COACH McINTYRE: Oh, that...(Frowns.)
(Shot past the coach looking at the case, and Kevin looking at him.)
KEVIN: You see...our first game's coming up in a few days. And...
(Kevin pauses and frowns.)
How to put this tactfully...
COACH McINTYRE: It's not gonna be pretty.
KEVIN: Yeah.
COACH McINTYRE: It's gonna be a massacre.
(Kevin looks off.)
KEVIN: Um-hmm. But...(gestures)...we still have time don't we?
(Close shot of coach looking toward Kevin off-screen and frowning.)
KEVIN (V/O): And...
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
KEVIN: With a little practice, we could at least be...respectable. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Coach looking forward and smirking.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
KEVIN: Don't ya think? (Frowns.)
Figured the least he could do here...
(Close shot of coach looking toward Kevin off-screen and frowning.)
Was throw me a bone.
COACH McINTYRE: I wouldn't count on it.
(Coach shakes his head and passes the camera.)
(Shot of both as Coach McIntyre walks away from the camera. Kevin looks forward and frowns.)
Not exactly your basic ringing endorsement.
(Kevin follows Coach McIntyre.)
KEVIN: Wait a minute. I don't get it.
(Shot of both approaching the camera.)
KEVIN: My dad told me you used to be this great coach. "The Bear", they called you.
(They slow up near the camera.)
KEVIN: You won six conference titles in a row.
COACH McINTYRE: He told ya that?
KEVIN: Yeah.
(Shot past Kevin of Coach McIntyre looking at him.)
COACH McINTYRE: Did he tell ya about the fifty-seven team?
(The coach looks off as the Notre Dame "Fight Song" plays.)
COACH McINTYRE: Great bunch of boys.
And for just a second...
(Shot past the coach of Kevin looking at him.)
I actually saw a spark of real enthusiasm.
(Shot of both. Two girls are near the lockers in the background.)
COACH McINTYRE: Eh...
(Music ends abruptly.)
COACH McINTYRE: That was then. (Gestures.)
(Coach walks toward the camera, which rolls back. Kevin follows.)
COACH McINTYRE: My coachin' days are over now.
KEVIN: Why?
COACH McINTYRE: They didn't want me. They got a younger man...put me out to pasture, until...
(He looks at Kevin as they slow up.)
COACH McINTYRE: Until this. (Gestures.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen, then looking off.)
I did my best not to take it personally.
KEVIN: Yeah, but...Pops, we're a team, and...we need a coach.
(Shot past Kevin of Coach looking off and frowning.)
There. A cry from the heart.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Coach McIntyre off-screen.)
Something even Pops couldn't deny.
(Shot past Kevin of Coach McIntyre looking at him.)
COACH McINTYRE: One year away from my pension, and they saddle me with this. (Frowns.)
(Coach looks off.)
COACH McINTYRE: Soccer. (Frowns.)
(Shot of both as Coach McIntyre walks past Kevin out of the shot. Kevin turns and looks after him off-screen.)
Cut to
Locker Room
(Shot of Kevin opening his gym locker.)
Game day. The good news was...
(Kevin puts something in the locker.)
We had new uniforms. The bad news was...
(Kevin closes the locker and locks it, then turns toward the guys. Leigh looks at Nick.)
LEIGH: Hey. Is it OK if we trade? Eight is my lucky number.
NICK: Sure.
(They swap jerseys.)
We were the same team inside them.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at the guys off-screen.)
Still, for some reason...
CHUCK (V/O): Call me crazy...
(Shot past Kevin as Chuck hops over the bench toward him.)
(Chuck looks at Kevin.)
CHUCK: Call me naive, but I think we really have a chance today. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Kevin smiling slightly as Chuck exits past him.)
CHUCK (V/O): Come on - let's go!
These jokers Just weren't giving up.
Cut to
Ext. Day - Auxilliary Football Field
(Close shot of the scoreboard showing "Home" and "Visitors". The camera pans across the sign. Sound of guys chanting in unison.)
Maybe it was a tribute to the team spirit.
(The guys trot down the path in the background, chanting in unison.)
The power of positive thinking. The triumph of will over adversity.
(The guys slow up near the camera and look past it.)
Or...
NICK: Oh, my God...
(Shot of some players on the opposing team warming up. The camera pans with one player who repeatedly kicks the ball up as he steps forward about ten times.)
Maybe it was plain stupidity.
CHUCK (V/O): Are those guys for real?
(Shot of two other players as they bounce the ball off their heads.)
Our opponents could have passed for the Italian...
(Shot of another player kicking the ball backward as he falls to the ground.)
National all-stars.
(Shot of the guys looking at the opposing team off-screen.)
Leaving us only one small glimmer of hope.
NICK: Maybe it'll rain.
(Chuck puts his hand out and looks up. Music "Get Up Offa That Thing" - James Brown starts.)
"Ahhhhhhhhh-yowwwww!"
Cut to
Later
(Shot of the opposing goalie rolling the ball to another player.)
(Wide shot of the player dribbling past some McKinley players, then passing it to another player.)
(Close shot of Chuck stumbling and falling down.)
(Close shot of many players' legs as the ball is kicked around.)
(The camera makes a blurry pan to another group as they kick the ball around.)
(Close shot of Kevin on the ground looking after the others off-screen.)
(Shot of Andy in the net as goalie.)
(Shot from behind the net of Andy and the approaching players. An opposing player passes the ball to another player, who kicks a goal. Andy turns toward the net and looks at the ball.)
That afternoon, we gave it all we had.
"Get up offa that thing"
(Close shot of Kevin on the ground looking at the others off-screen as he stands up.)
(Shot of the opposing players congratulating each other.)
(Shot of two pairs of legs, one of which is dribbling the ball. Leigh stumbles and falls down, then gets up and continues.)
"Get up offa that thing"
We threw ourselves into it.
(Shot of Coach McIntyre sitting on the bottom row of the bleachers, holding his magazine in one hand, looking toward the field as some players run past.)
(Shot of Kevin, Chuck and others as they approach the camera.)
We did our dead-level best.
(Shot of other players as the ball heads toward the net.)
Unfortunately...
(An opposing player kicks it to another player, who kicks a goal.)
Our dead-level best...
(The ball rolls out of the net and Andy picks it up then looks toward the others off-screen.)
(Shot of the opposing players congratulating each other.)
Stunk.
(Shot of Andy as he leaps toward a ball which goes in the goal.)
Pretty soon our problem was clear.
(Another shot of Andy leaping out of the shot as the ball passes him and scores.)
(Another shot of Andy leaping forward as another ball scores.)
(Close shot of a pair of legs as the ball is kicked.)
(Shot of Andy turning away and covering himself with his arms as the ball passes him for a goal.)
It was our goalie's fault.
(Close shot of the scoreboard as a hand replaces the numbers on it, showing the score as "0-6".)
"Follow me!"
(Shot of Nick in the goalie box as the goalie's jersey is tossed to him. He starts to put it on.)
(Shot of an opposing player kicking the ball.)
"Get up offa that thing"
(Shot of Nick falling forward as he is putting on the jersey.)
But by halftime...
(Shot of Chuck twitching around in the goalie box, wearing the goalie's jersey. He frowns and falls forward as a ball is kicked past him for a goal.)
(Shot of Kevin in the goalie box wearing the goalie's jersey. He leaps out of the shot as a ball sails past him for a goal.)
(Shot of Leigh in the goalie box wearing the goalie's jersey. He leaps out of the shot. A ball sails past him for a goal.)
(Shot of a black kid in glasses standing in the goalie box, wearing the goalie's jersey. He stands immobile as a ball sails past him.)
We'd run out of scapegoats.
(Close shot of the scoreboard as a hands replace the numbers on it, showing the score as "0-11".)
(Close shot of Kevin looking forward and frowning slightly.)
(Shot of Coach McIntyre sitting on the bench holding his magazine, and looking toward the field as some players run past him. He looks at his magazine again.)
"Uh, uh, uh!"
(Music ends abruptly.)
Cut to
Locker Room
(Shot of Kevin, Chuck and Nick on the bench. Most of the others are leaning against the lockers.)
NICK: Eleven to zip - I can't believe it.
CHUCK: I hate this stupid game.
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Chuck off-screen.)
It was horrible. We were getting our noses rubbed in it.
(Kevin looks off.)
(Wider shot of all.)
Clearly what was needed here was a pick-up, a pep talk.
(Coach McIntyre approaches.)
(Closer shot of the coach as he pauses.)
A little Knute Rockney in guidance.
(Shot from the coaches perspective of the guys.)
(Close shot of the coach looking at them off-screen and sighing.)
(Wider shot of all as the coach turns and exits.)
ANDY: I don't wanna go back out there.
(Andy approaches the bench and sits down.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking after the coach off-screen.)
And suddenly I was seeing red.
(Kevin frowns.)
(Wider shot of all as Kevin stands up.)
KEVIN: Guys, I got somethin' to say.
(The others look at him.)
If Pops wouldn't step forward, I would.
KEVIN: Look, we might not be the best soccer team that ever played.
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the guys looking at him.)
KEVIN (V/O)): In fact, we may not even be very good.
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Or, any good. At all.
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the guys looking at him.)
Hmmm. Possibly I was on a...
(Close shot of Kevin.)
Bad tack, here.
(Kevin looks over his shoulder and sees the coach in the background looking at him through the window. The coach lifts the venetian blind slightly. Kevin turns to the guys off-screen.)
KEVIN: So I say, let's forget about what's happened so far. And let's start thinking about what might happen.
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the guys looking at him.)
KEVIN: (V/O): OK?
(Wider shot of all.)
KEVIN: Let's go! (Gestures.)
(Close shot of Kevin, and the coach in the background. Kevin tentatively starts to exit.)
And as I ran out of that locker room I had just one thought...
(Kevin exits. The coach looks after him off-screen.)
I only hoped someone was following me.
Cut to
Ext. Day - Auxilliary Football Field
(Shot of the ball on the field as Kevin approaches it from the side and the whistle blows.)
When I got back...
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the other team off-screen.)
On that field, I was mad.
(Shot from behind Kevin of the other team taking positions.)
I'd take these guys on myself, if I had to.
(Shot past two opposing player of Kevin facing them in the background.)
CHUCK (V/O): Hey! Wait for us!
(The three look toward Chuck off-screen.)
(Shot of the scoreboard and the number-changer man as Chuck trots toward the camera. "Willian Tell Overture" starts. Nick and the others follow.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward them off-screen.)
(Shot of the guys as they pass the camera.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the opposing team off-screen and smiling slightly.)
When that whistle blew...
(Very close shot of the referee's face as he blows the whistle.)
(Shot of Kevin receiving a pass.)
We actually got possession of the ball.
(Close shot of some legs and the ball.)
(Shot of Kevin pausing.)
NICK (V/O): Over here!
(Shot of Nick waving his arms.)
(Shot from behind Kevin as he kicks the ball toward Nick.)
And what's more amazing...
(Close shot of Nick's legs as he stops the ball, then kicks it toward Chuck.)
We actually completed a pass.
KEVIN (V/O): Back to me, back to me!
(Wider shot of Chuck with the ball as he starts to kick it.)
(Closer shot of the ball as it is kicked. The camera pans with the ball as Kevin stops it.)
(Shot of Kevin as he kicks the ball.)
(Shot of Leigh as he stops the ball, then turns, lining up a kick.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Leigh off-screen.)
KEVIN: Go, Leigh! Come on!
(Close shot of Leigh smiling.)
(Close shot of Chuck looking at him off-screen.)
(Shot past an opposing player of Nick looking at Leigh off-screen.)
(Shot of Kevin looking toward Leigh off-screen.)
(Slow-motion close shot of Leigh smiling.)
(Slow-motion close shot of Chuck looking at Leigh off-screen as he chews his gum.)
(Slow-motion shot of Nick looking at Leigh off-screen.)
(Close shot of the ball as it is kicked.)
(Slow-motion shot of Kevin looking at Leigh off-screen.)
(Slow-motion close shot of Leigh smiling.)
(Slow-motion close shot of the ball as it is kicked.)
(Slow motion shot of the ball in the air. The camera pans with it as it goes into the net. Sound of the referee's whistle.)
(Slow motion wider shot of Leigh jumping up and raising his fist, as do other teammates in the background.)
(Slow motion close shot of Kevin smiling and raising both fists.)
(Slow motion shot from behind Leigh as he trots toward the others, who run toward him. The camera pans with Kevin as they all hop around as the music plays builds toward the crescendo.)
It was our finest hour.
(Shot of the number-changing man facing the scoreboard, standing in front of the numbers. He turns and exits revealing the score..."0-12".)
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the scoreboard as the music fades.)
Unfortunately...
(Closer shot of the score.)
(Close shot of one team-mate. The camera pans across past Leigh, then Kevin, who look at the scoreboard in disbelief.)
We'd kicked the ball into the wrong net.
(Shot of Coach McIntyre lowering his magazine and looking toward the scoreboard off-screen, then toward the field.)
NICK (V/O): I don't believe it!
(Close shot of Nick looking at Leigh off-screen.)
NICK: You scored on our goal, bozo. (Frowns.)
(Shot past Nick of Leigh looking at him.)
LEIGH: Don't call me bozo - "Spock brain"!
NICK: Hey!
(Shot of Chuck stepping slightly between them, trying to hold them apart.)
CHUCK: Listen, will you jerks just break it up?
LEIGH: Who you callin' a jerk?
(Leigh pushes Chuck.)
CHUCK: This is ridiculous!
(Leigh pushes Chuck.)
CHUCK: Who needs this?!
(Everyone starts to scuffle.)
KEVIN: Look, you guys, calm down!
We completely fell apart.
(Everyone falls to the ground.)
It was like "Lord of the Flies".
(Shot of Coach McIntyre frowning at the guys off-screen.)
(Shot of the pile of guys fighting.)
(Shot of Coach McIntyre taking off his glasses, setting his magazine down, then standing up.)
And that's when it happened.
(Shot of Nick and others as he points toward the coach off-screen.)
NICK: Look!
(Shot of the coach approaching the camera.)
(Close shot of the coach walking toward the camera, which rolls back with him.)
(Shot past the coach of the guys sitting on the ground. The camera rolls forward with the coach as he approaches them. Kevin stands up and others start to get up.)
Pops was heading towards us to say it was over.
(Close shot of the coach walking forward.)
That we had...
(Shot past the coach of the guys looking at him.)
No hope of winning.
(The coach stops.)
(Close shot of the coach looking at the guys off-screen.)
(Shot of Nick and Andy looking at the coach off-screen.)
(Shot of Chuck and others looking at the coach off-screen.)
(Shot of Kevin and Leigh looking at the coach off-screen.)
(Wider shot from behind the coach of the guys looking at him.)
That it was time to hang it up.
(Close shot of the coach looking at the guys off-screen.)
COACH McINTYRE: Kick it that way. (Gestures.)
(He raises an eye-brow slightly.)
(Close shot of Kevin smiling slightly at the coach off-screen.)
(Close shot of the coach as he starts to turn around.)
(Wider shot of the coach and the guys behind him as he sucks in his stomach and buttons his jacket, then approaches the camera as some Snuffy's guitar starts and plays throughout.)
I don't know what it was that touched him.
(The coach passes the camera, and the guys look at each other.)
Maybe it was the way we stuck together.
(Shot from behind the coach as he walks toward the bleachers. The camera pulls back slightly.)
Maybe it was the way we were tearing apart.
(Shot of the guys looking at him off-screen.)
But in that brief instant...
(Close shot of the coach as he slowly sits down on the bleachers, looking toward the guys off-screen.)
Pops McIntyre became a coach again.
(Sound of thunder as the coach looks off in the other direction.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at the coach off-screen, then looking up as a flash of lightning shines on the guys.)
(Wider shot of the guys looking up. Chuck holds out his hand. The camera moves in as Kevin holds his hand out and looks at it. Kevin looks toward the coach off-screen.)
And we were finally...a team.
KEVIN: Come on, guys. Let's lose one for Pops.
(Kevin hurries past the camera. The others follow, except Andy, who turns and walks to the goalie box.)
Cut to
(Shot of dark clouds in the sky.)
(Shot of Coach McIntyre looking at the guys off-screen, then looking up as it begins to rain heavily.)
Fade to
Later
(Slow motion shot of a player dribbling the ball.)
Sure, we lost that day.
(Fade to slow motion shot of Chuck falling down in the mud.)
But it was a glorious defeat.
(Slow motion shot of Kevin tripping over another player and falling down in the mud.)
After all, all over America, there were teams like ours. Teams that marched bravely into slaughter.
(In slow motion, Kevin slaps the ground angrily.)
(Slow motion shot of Coach McIntyre looking at the guys off-screen.)
Teams that went oh-and-fifteen, and kept on losing.
(Slow motion shot of Leigh falling down into the mud.)
And kept on trying.
(Slow motion shot of Andy as the ball slides through his hands to the ground and he falls down.)
Not for the league titles...
(Slow motion shot of Chuck as the ball bounces off his chest. He smiles ans raises both fists.)
(Fade to slow motion shot of Kevin dribbling the ball. The camera pans up to him as he kicks it.)
Or the silver-plated victory cups.
(Slow motion shot of Coach McIntyre looking at the guys off-screen.)
But just for the joy of playing.
(In slow motion, he makes a fist and smiles slightly.)
Together.
Fade to
Later
(Wide slow motion shot of the guys trotting past the camera off the field as a whistle sounds. The opposing players exit to the side. The camera pans with Kevin and the coach who bring up the rear, side-by-side.)
The thing is...I'll never forget those guys.
(The scoreboard shows "0-19".)
Even if they were dorks.
Fade to
CLOSING CREDITS
Supporting Cast
Nick - Brice Beckham
Chuck - Andrew Mark Berman
Leigh - Ryan Holihan
Coach McIntyre - Paul Dooley
Music
"Get Up Offa That Thing" - James Brown
"William Tell Overture" - Gioacchino Antonio Rossini
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Episode Info
Wonder Years Menu
03/12/05 17:10