Mr. Lemkur - English



(Ep 73 - "Frank and Denise")

(Kevin is sitting behind Denise.)
Love? Hah! Love, my little untutored charges, is a joke - a sham. And never what it appears to be.
Weird Mr. Lemkur. Couture by Salvation Army - posture...by Quasimodo. Words were his only passion. Boring us with them - his only joy.
And now let's see what Keats had to say on the subject, shall we?
With all respect to the great poets, third-period English left one or two things to be desired. Denise "The Grease" was both of them.
"Light peach, dark violet eyes and parted hair, soft dimpled hands, ripe neck, and creamy breast...are things on which the dazzled senses rest". And what was Keats saying, here, hmm? Kevin.
Me?
You.
Well, he's s-saying that, uh...creamy b-
(Denise turns around.)
Oh boy...
That, you know...it's, it's all kinda...dazzling.
Right! Now, about the poems I assigned for your report - uh, Miss Lovell...would, uh, you recite what Swift has to say about amour?
Why not...?
I trust you intend to finish our class, this term?
Third time's a charm.
Last year it was mono...what was it the year before...?
Female problems.
Ah...right...
Hey, ya had to admit - she had a certain way about her.
"Modern love is no such thing, and what those ancient poets sing. A fire celestial chaste refined".
And even if none of us knew what she was saying - who cared?
"Which having found an equal flame, unites and both become the same. In different breasts together burn, together both, to ashes turn. But women now feel no such fire, and only know the gross desire."
I couldn't believe my eyes. Denise "The Grease" was crying.
There...you see - you see - you see? Swift knew what he was talkin' about.
*
Calvin was the one who helped me see what Swift is saying.
Uh-huh, uh-huh. And what is Mr. Swift saying, in Catullus and Vanessa?
Well, he's saying that love is a heavenly thing, and that humans are human. And they mess everything up because they're stuck-up, and shallow...and even the gods can't fix it.
Which is why, personally, I never married.
But I think Swift missed the boat. I-I like what Emerson has to say. "When hath gods go, the gods arrive".
Uh-huh, eh, which means?
When you lose something that means a lot, something better comes along.
It was horrible. One little, unsolicited kiss - and suddenly my life was on the line. So I determined then and there, never to tell another human being what had happened between Denise and me.

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11/28/14 20:50