"Reunion" - Episode 113


(Clip of an airliner sihouetted against the sunset.)

In the spring of nineteen seventy-three, the Arnold family took to the skies.

Cut to

Int - Airplane

(Shot of a stewardess handing drinks to passengers.)

Armed with four coach tickets and enough luggage to sink a battleship...

(The camera pans across to Kevin, wearing earphones, chewing a mouthful of peanuts and frowning at the empty peanut bag.)

We were on our way to a weekend of high-adventure.

(Kevin holds up the peanut package to the off-screen stewardess.)

KEVIN: Can I get some more peanuts, please? (Smiles.)

(The stewardess hands Kevin another bag.)


KEVIN: Thanks.

That year had seen a lot of change.

(Kevin tries to rip open the package with his teeth and fails.)

I was practically a senior - once I got through exams.

(Kevin opens the bag with his teeth, and spits the wrapper off his lips.)

(Close shot of Norma looking at an invitation.)

Mom had joined the ranks of working women - whether we liked it or not.

(Close shot of Jack looking down and frowning slightly.)

Dad's furniture business was thriving.

(Jack looks off and sighs.)

Although he wasn't at the moment.

(Close shot of Wayne looking worried.)

Still all in all, things were pretty much...smooth sailing.

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne as they look at each other.)

WAYNE: Did ya feel that?


(Kevin looks forward nonchalantly as he pops a handful of peanuts into his mouth.)

KEVIN: Hope it wasn't the engine.

WAYNE: Ooooh...

(Wayne looks away worriedly as Kevin smiles and glances at him.)

Not that we ventured into the friendly skies without a reason. We were on our way home.

(Shot of Jack and Norma. Jack has his briefcase open, and Norma is looking at the invitation.)

Well, Mom's home, anyway.

NORMA: Look, Jack! (Smiles.) Sylvia Miller's chairing the reunion committee. (Smiles.) I haven't seen her in twenty five years! (Smiles broadly.)

You got it - my mother's high school reunion.

(Jack looks off and sighs slightly.)

NORMA: Oh, look, honey - there's going to be a picnic on Saturday...and a pie-eating contest! (Smiles.)

(Jack frowns and tosses a pen into his briefcase.)

JACK: Norma - please...

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne. Wayne is terrified as Kevin looks off blandly.)

KEVIN: Hey...wasn't that the wing? (Laughs.)

(Kevin pops another peanut in his mouth and smiles. They look at each other.)

(Shot of Jack and Norma.)

Yeah, it was gonna be...

(Shot past Norma of Jack opening a barf-bag.)

Some fun...

(Norma pats Jack's arm.)

NORMA: It'll be fine.

STEWARDESS (V/O): Ladies and gentlemen...

(Norma rubs Jack's arm as she looks at the invitation.)

JACK: Yeah...

STEWARDESS (V/O): The pilot has turned off the seatbelt sign...

After all, this was more than just a trip back in time.

(Clip of the airplane in silhouette.)

We were headed home to family.

WAYNE (V/O): Are we there yet?

Mom's family. For better...

(Sound of a doorbell.)

Cut to

Ext. Day - Norma's Parents' House

(Shot from behind Norma as she knocks on the door.)

Or worse.

(Norma looks over her shoulder and smiles as Kevin approaches behind her.)

(Norma's mother Jane opens the door and smiles.)

NORMA: Mother!

(Jane steps outside and she and Norma hug.)

JANE: Welcome home!

(Norma's father Karl appears in the doorway.)

(Wider shot from behind Norma as she hugs Karl, and Kevin and Wayne look on.)

NORMA: Look at the two of you!

KARL: How's my little girl?

(Shot of Norma and her parents smiling toward the Arnold's off-screen.)

KARL: Look at those fine grandsons of mine! (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Jane smiling and approaching Wayne and Kevin.)

JANE: I almost didn't recognize 'em! (Smiles.)

(She puts her arms around them and hugs them.)

KEVIN: Hi, Grandma...(Smiles.)

(Shot of Norma and Karl smiling at them off-screen.)

JANE (V/O): Oh, Kevin, you've certainly grown....

(Shot of Jane, Kevin and Wayne as she chucks Kevin's chin.)

JANE: Since I saw you the last time. (Smiles.)

KEVIN: Well, you know it's been a long time, Grandma...(Nods.)

(Shot from behind Kevin of Karl holding Norma's shoulders, and Jane with Kevin and Wayne.)

Homecoming at the grand-parents.

(Jane puts her arms on Wayne's shoulders.)

JANE: Oh, Wayne...

We saw them, oh...

(Jane and Wayne hug.)

About once every century.

(Close shot of Jack tiredly approaching with four suitcases and pausing in the walkway.)

JACK: Hi! (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Norma and Karl looking toward Jack off-screen. Everyone quiets down.)

JACK (V/O): How's everybody?

(Shot of Jane and Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen.)

Maybe there was a reason.

(Wider shot of Jack in the walkway holding the suitcases.)

(Shot of the others as Jane looks over her shoulder toward Norma and Karl.)

JANE: Well, why don't we come on inside?

(Jane nudges Norma toward the door.)

JANE: You must be exhausted from your trip.

(Norma glances toward Jack as she goes inside.)

JANE (V/O): Come on, come on...

(Wide shot of Jack in the walkway holding the suitcases.)

Maybe it was Dad.

KARL (V/O): Well...

(Close shot of Karl looking at Jack off-screen and gesturing.)

KARL: Better get that luggage inside, before some of the local kids make off with it.

(Karl puts his tongue in his cheek and goes inside.)

(Closer shot of Jack looking after him off-screen.)


Cut to

Int. Day - Living Room

(Shot of Wayne, Karl, Kevin, Norma, and Jane as Norma glances around.)

NORMA: Oh, just look at all this! It's exactly the same! (Sniffs.) The smell even.

(Karl drapes his arms over Wayne and Kevin's shoulders.)

KARL: Your mother's been cooking for days.

(Close shot of Jane smiling and turning toward Norma off-screen.)

JANE: Nothing's too good for my little girl.

(Shot past Jane of Norma as they hug.)

NORMA: Oh, Mom...

(Norma kisses Jane on the cheek.)

You could say this for the oldsters...

(Shot of Jack entering with the suitcases.)

They loved their only daughter.

(Jack closes the door with his foot and drops the suitcases onto the floor.)

If not their only son-in-law.

(Shot past Norma of Jack straightening up and looking toward the group.)

JACK: Here we are...

(Jack smiles slightly.)

(Shot of Jane and Norma.)

JANE: Well, how was the trip?

NORMA: Uh, it was...

(Shot past Norma of Jack looking toward her.)


(Jack looks down.)

WAYNE (V/O): Except...

(Close shot of Wayne squinting and frowning.)

WAYNE: Dad got a little sick.

(Shot past Norma of Jack glancing toward Wayne off-screen and frowning.)

NORMA (V/O): Well, uh...

(Shot of Jane and Norma as Jane looks toward Jack off-screen and frowns.)

NORMA: It's just that the flight was a little bumpy, Mom.

JANE: You're not going to get sick again, are you? (Frowns.)

(Shot past Norma of Jack.)

JACK: No, I don't think so. (Nods.)

(Close shot of Jane looking at Jack off-screen.)

JANE: Because Roger gave us this great antacid. (Nods.)

(Jane leans slightly closer and lowers her voice a little.)

JANE: It's good for diarrhea, too. (Nods.)

(Shot past Norma of Jack. He smiles slightly.)

JACK: No, really...(Gestures.)

(Shot of Jane turning to Norma.)

JACK (V/O): I'm just...

JANE: Roger's a doctor, you know...(Smiles.)

NORMA: Mother...(Smiles.) Roger's been a doctor for fifteen years, now. (Nods.)

(Shot of Karl and the boys.)

KARL: And a darned good one. (Nods.)

(Wayne and Kevin glance toward Karl.)

JANE (V/O): He's just been named...

(Shot past Norma of Jane.)

JANE: Chief-of-staff...at County General! (Smiles.)

(Shot past Jane of Norma.)

JANE: Isn't that impressive?

(Norma looks off and shrugs, then smiles and nods.)

And, of course, it was very impressive.

(Shot past Norma of Jack resting his arm against the wall, sighing, and looking down.)

Just one little question, here.

(Shot of Wayne, Karl and Kevin.)

KEVIN: Who's Roger? (Gestures and frowns.)

(Close shot of Jane looking toward Kevin off-screen.)

JANE: A long time ago...

NORMA (V/O): Mother...

(Close shot of Kevin glancing toward Norma off-screen.)

NORMA (V/O): We don't have to get into this right now, do we?

(Shot of Norma and Jane. Jane looks toward Kevin off-screen as Norma pats her shoulder.)

JANE: I suppose not.

(Norma nods, then gestures.)

NORMA: Besides, we should probably unpack before dinner.

(Wide shot of all from behind Norma.)

NORMA: Don't ya think, honey?

(Jack perks up slightly.)

JACK: Yeah. Sure. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Norma smiling at Jack off-screen.)

KARL (V/O): So, Jack, uh...

(Norma glances toward Karl off-screen.)

(Shot past Jack of Karl approaching and stopping in front of him.)

KARL: Been workin' on your gin game? (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Jack looking at Karl off-screen.)

JACK: Yeah. Sure. (Smiles.)

KARL (V/O): Good.

(Shot past Jack of Karl.)

KARL: Cuz I thought after dinner, you and I might have a friendly little game...what do you say?

(Karl crosses his arms.)

(Shot past Karl of Jack smiling and looking down.)

JACK: Fine, Karl...

(Jack spreads his arms, then pats Karl's shoulders.)

JACK: Fine. (Nods.)

(Jack picks up a suitcase.)

Yeah - ya had to hand it to Dad.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

No matter how cold the shoulder...he hung in there.

(Shot of Karl and Jack. Jack looks off and sighs.)

Like a man at the gallows.

(Jack looks at Jane off-screen.)

JACK: Where do I put these? (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Jane and Norma.)

JANE: Why, in Norma's old room, of course. (Giggles.)

(Shot of Wayne and Kevin. Wayne frowns and looks off, as Kevin forces a smile and nods slightly.)

JANE (V/O): Just wait till you see it!

Cut to

Norma's Old Bedroom

(Shot through the doorway of Jack setting the suitcases down near the far wall. Jane and Norma pass the camera and enter.)

JANE: Daddy and I haven't changed it one bit!

(Karl passes the camera and enters as Norma smiles and looks around.)

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne at the doorway, looking past the camera.)

This was fun. Sorta like visiting a museum.

NORMA (V/O): Look!

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Norma picking up a pair of red cheerleader pompoms.)

The Norma Gustafson memorial shrine.

NORMA: Mother, I can't believe you kept these!

(Shot of Karl with his arm around Jane. Jane smiles broadly.)

(Closer shot of Norma as she looks toward the nightstand.)

NORMA: Oh, Jack, look!

(Norma tosses the pompoms downs and hurries to the nightstand. She picks up...)

NORMA: My sixth-grade citizenship ribbon.

(She looks at the ribbon as she approaches Jack.)

KARL (V/O): I was proud of my little girl...

(Shot of Karl and Jane.)

KARL: Still am...(Nods.)

JANE: You should hear him brag to the boys in Kiwanis about...

(Close shot of Norma looking at them off-screen.)

JANE (V/O): That new job.

(Norma smiles slightly.)

(Close shot of Karl looking at Jane off-screen.)

KARL: Always knew she'd end up...

(Karl looks toward Norma off-screen.)

KARL: Being something important. (Smiles.)

(Karl looks toward Jack off-screen and frowns slightly.)

KARL: No matter what got in her way.

(Close shot of Jack frowning slightly at Karl off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin glancing off.)

All in all, kinda reminded you of the Walton's.

(Shot of Jack and Norma as she squeezes a stuffed animal, which squeaks.)

JANE (V/O): I hope you two are gonna be comfortable here.

(Close shot of Jane looking concerned.)

JANE: We only have the one bed.

(Shot of Jack and Norma. Norma looks down, then at Jack.)

(Kevin clears his throat.)

(Close shot of Kevin smiling at Jane off-screen.)

KEVIN: So, uh...where do we sleep, Grandma?

(Shot past Kevin as Karl looks over his shoulder at him and Jane steps forward and points.)

JANE: Down the hall in the guestroom. (Gestures.) Just uh...right down the hall and to the left. (Nods.)

(Kevin looks over his shoulder, then back to Jane.)

KEVIN: Great.

(The camera rolls back as Kevin and Wayne start to walk down the hallway.)

After all, no sense hanging around all that hostility.

(Sound of a dog growling. Kevin stops abruptly and glances down.)

(Shot of a Doberman sitting in the hallway, then barking.)

(Close shot of Kevin as Karl approaches behind him.)

KARL: Oh, there she is. Boys...I'd like you to meet Princess.

(Sound of the dog growling.)

(Karl smiles and puts his arm around Kevin's shoulder.)

(Close shot of the dog.)

KARL (V/O): She's a little shy around new folk.

(Shot of Kevin and Karl.)

KARL: Aren't ya, girl?

(Karl smiles at Kevin and exits.)

(Close shot of the dog.)

(Shot of Kevin as Jane approaches.)

KEVIN: Nice doggie. (Smiles.)

(Jane smiles at the dog off-screen.)

JANE: Isn't this cute?

(Jane looks at Kevin.)

JANE: There's nothing so sweet as a boy and his dog. (Smiles.)

(Jane exits. Sound of the dog growling. Kevin shakes his head slightly and looks at the dog off-screen. Louder sounds of the growling.)

(Shot of the dog as it growls some more.)

Cut to

Dinner Table

(Shot of all around the table, slowly eating in silence.)

(Close shot of Kevin.)

And so, here we were.

(Kevin starts to put a forkful in his mouth. He puts it down and turns toward the growling off-screen dog.)

One big happy family.

(Shot of the dog looking at Kevin off-screen.)

Plus beast.

(The dog growls.)

(Shot past the dog of Kevin looking at it, and smiling tightly.)

(Close shot of Jack frowning slightly at the dog off-screen.)

Eagerly catching up on one another's lives.

KARL (V/O): Furniture, huh?

(Jack turns quickly toward Karl off-screen.)

JACK: What?

(Shot past Kevin and Jack of Karl and Norma.)

NORMA: Oh, I was just telling Daddy how well your furniture business is doing, honey.

(Shot past Karl of Jack looking at Norma off-screen, then toward Karl.)

JACK: Uh...yeah, we've been pretty successful so far. (Smiles.)

(Shot past Jack of Karl looking off.)

KARL: I don't hold much truck with this new stuff.

(Close shot of Norma looking toward Jack off-screen.)

KARL (V/O): In my day...people knew how...

(Close shot of Jack looking uncomfortably toward Karl off-screen.)

KARL (V/O): To build furniture.

(Jack smiles tightly and nods.)

KARL (V/O): Take this table.

(Close shot of Karl as he bangs the table, looking at Jack off-screen.)

KARL: Solid. Made to last.

(Karl looks around the table.)

KARL: Had it since we were married. It'll be here for you boys when I'm gone. (Nods.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking up and frowning.)


(Wayne looks toward Karl off-screen.)

WAYNE: What was that again?

(Shot of Karl and Norma.)

NORMA: Daddy, don't talk like that.

(Norma rubs his hand.)

KARL: Well, it's true...you boys'll be gettin' this place one day...(Nods.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking toward Karl.)

WAYNE: Really?

(Wayne looks up to the ceiling and gestures.)

WAYNE: You mean...this house?

KARL (V/O): Yeah.

(Shot of Karl and Norma.)

KARL: And everything in it. Hell, I gotta leave it to someone. And I'm not gonna be around forever, ya know.

(Close shot of Wayne looking forward and blinking slowly. Sound of a cash register. Wayne looks at Karl off-screen.)

WAYNE: Thanks, Gramps. (Smiles.) You're the best.

(Shot of Kevin and Jack smiling slightly at Wayne off-screen, then glancing at each other.)

JANE (V/O): Now, now, sweetheart.

(Close shot of Jane.)

JANE: You don't have to worry about Daddy. (Smiles.) Not as long as he has Roger as a doctor.

(Shot past Jack of Karl looking at Jane off-screen.)

KARL: He's quite a guy...(Smiles.)

(Karl glances toward Jack and frowns.)

JANE (V/O): He certainly is.

(Shot past Karl of Jack looking down and frowning, then at Karl.)

And there it was.

(Close shot of Kevin looking from Wayne off-screen toward Jack off-screen.)

Roger again.

(Shot of Norma smiling uncomfortably at Jane off-screen.)

NORMA: Mother, we don't have to hear more about Roger. Do we? (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Jane shaking her head slightly.)

JANE: Of course not, dear.

(She looks down.)

(Sound of the doorbell.)

(Jane looks up and smiles at Norma off-screen.)

JANE: There he is now. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Norma as she drops her jaw slightly.)

JANE (V/O): He can tell you himself.

(Norma glances toward the door, then toward Jack.)

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: Oh...(Sighs.) Good...(Smirks.)

Cut to

Later in the Living Room

(Shot of Roger and Jane standing near the fireplace. Roger is leaning an elbow on the mantle, looking at Norma off-screen.)

ROGER: Those were really some great times we had, Norma. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Norma looking at Roger off-screen.)

ROGER (V/O): I can still remember the look on your face, when I gave you my class ring.

(Norma sighs and smiles.)

(Close shot of Roger smiling at Norma off-screen.)

Roger Baldwin - in the flesh.

(He looks down and shakes his head slightly.)

ROGER: Remember how jealous Jerry Yost was when he saw you wearing it for the first time?

(Wide shot of all. Jane and Roger are standing on the left, Wayne, Norma and Kevin are on the couch to the right, and Jack and Karl are at the table in the background. The dog is in the foreground. )

NORMA: Jerry Yost? (Laughs.) I haven't thought about him in years!

(Closer shot of Jack and Karl. Jack looks over his shoulder toward Norma off-screen, and Karl draws a card.)

JANE (V/O): Oh, here it is!

(Shot of Jane and Roger as Jane holds a photograph toward him.)

JANE: The prom picture. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Princess looking at Kevin off-screen.)

(Shot past Princess of Kevin looking at her and making a startled face.)

That evening was like the tea party from hell.

JANE (V/O): Kevin...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Jane approaching next to Norma, holding out the photograph.)

JANE: Weren't they a striking couple?

(Norma takes the photograph.)

(Shot of Wayne, Norma and Kevin looking at the photograph.)

Grandma played match-maker...

(Norma sighs, slightly embarrassed, then tilts the photo toward Kevin and smiles.)

(Shot of Roger smiling, then turning toward the mantle.)

Roger played bigshot...

(Shot of Wayne, Norma and Kevin. Wayne reaches for the photograph.)

While my brother played...

WAYNE: That's a nice frame, Grandma.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Norma, Wayne and Jane looking at the photograph, as Roger stands nearby sipping tea, and the men play cards in the background.)

WAYNE: What is that - pewter?

(Jane smiles and reaches for the photograph.)

KARL (V/O): Gin! Aha!

(Shot of Karl and Jack. Karl claps his hands together, smiling broadly.)

KARL: Gin!

(Karl takes the pipe from his mouth.)

KARL: Well, it looks like you're down another forty points, Jack. (Laughs.)

(Shot past Karl of Jack smiling slightly, then looking down.)

As for Dad...

(Jack turns toward the others off-screen. He smiles and nods slightly.)

(Shot of Wayne, Norma and Kevin. Norma and Kevin look at Jane off-screen.)

(Close shot of Jane smiling.)

JANE: Honey, everybody's going to be so thrilled ...

(Jane glances over her shoulder, then back.)

JANE: To see you two at the picnic tomorrow. (Smiles.)

(Shot of Norma and Kevin.)

NORMA: Jack and I wouldn't miss it for the world.

(Norma leans forward slightly, looking at Jack off-screen.)

(Close shot of Jane frowning briefly.)

JANE: I meant you and Roger, dear. (Smiles.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of all the others.)

ROGER: You know, sometimes I wonder what might have happened if I hadn't gone away to medical school.

(Jack bangs the table.)

(Closer shot of Jack standing up.)


(Jack turns around, making a face.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

It was clear the big guy had had his fill of this malarkey.

(Shot off Jack looking off, then yawning and stretching.)

JACK: I'm goin' to bed.

(Shot of Wayne, Norma and Kevin.)

NORMA: Night, honey. Get some rest. (Nods.)

(Shot of Jack raising his eyebrows and smiling slightly at Norma off-screen, then glancing at Roger off-screen, and exiting slowly past the camera.)

ROGER (V/O): Goodnight, Jack.

JACK: Yeah.

(Shot of Karl looking after Jack and chuckling.)

And there ya had it.

(Close shot of Kevin looking after Jack off-screen.)

What had begun as a simple trip home...was suddenly turning into...

Cut to


(Shot from an upper window of Roger and Norma below, chatting. The window curtain is pulled aside.)

Nightmare on Gustafson Street.

(Close shot of Kevin looking out the window at the couple below.)

And the worst part was...I was the only one...

(Shot from inside of Kevin standing at the window.)

Who seemed to notice.

WAYNE (V/O): Uh, uh, butthead...

(Shot of Wayne in pajamas, propped up in bed.)

WAYNE: This place is a gold mine. (Gestures.) Uh, you should see the stuff they got stashed in the attic. (Nods.) Genuine antiques.

(Wayne nods seriously, then gestures explosively.)

WAYNE: We're gonna be rich!

(He laughs.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking over his shoulder toward Wayne off-screen.)

Maybe so, maybe not.

(Kevin frowns and looks out the window again.)

(Closer shot of Roger and Norma.)

NORMA: You're very sweet, Roger. (Smiles.)

KEVIN: Great.

All I knew was...standing there...

(Shot from inside of Kevin looking out the window.)

Watching Mom spoon with her high school sweetheart...hearing Dad snore in the next room...

(Kevin glances over his shoulder.)

Listening to Wayne count his tax-breaks...

(Kevin walks past the camera.)

(Close shot of Kevin approaching the camera and pausing.)

Suddenly, one thing was clear.

(Shot past Kevin of Princess on his bed, growling.)

(Close shot of Kevin as he sighs.)


(Close shot of Princess as she barks.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Princess off-screen.)

Was gonna sleep on the floor.

Fade to

Ext. Day - The Picnic

(Close shot of a woman at a microphone.)

WOMAN: And let's give a special welcome to the Wildcat who travelled the greatest distance to be with us today...from fifty-five hundred miles away...Jill Pritchard!

(The camera pulls back, revealing the woman standing on a small stage. Above her is a banner reading "Happy Reunion - Class of '48".)

The next day, amid pompoms and hairspray and old memories...

(The camera pans across a small gathering of people.)

The class of forty-eight gathered.

(The camera pans to Norma and some female friends at a table.)

NORMA: Remember when we just sat there on that float, while the parade went by without us? (Laughs.)

It was all pretty...festive.

FRIEND: Now, Norma, weren't you the one that convinced those policeman to tow us the rest of the way?

NORMA: Yeah...I think I was. (Smiles coyly.)

While Mom was having the time of her teenage life...

(Wide shot of Wayne, Kevin and Jack standing near a large tree. The camera moves in as Wayne is drinking from a bottle as Kevin and Jack repair baseball gloves.)

The Arnold men were getting old - fast.

(Wayne is looking off.)

WAYNE: This is a lot of fun.

(He turns toward Jack.)

WAYNE: Can I borrow the car?

(Kevin and Jack look at Wayne.)

JACK: What? Why?

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Jack off-screen.)

WAYNE: Well, I think I should spend more time with Grandpa - he won't be around forever, ya know. (Shrugs.)

(Close shot of Jack frowning at Wayne off-screen.)

(Shot of Wayne, Kevin and Jack.)

WAYNE: He said so himself. (Gestures.)

(Kevin frowns and gestures.)

KEVIN: What are you gonna do - count the silverware?

(Wayne laughs briefly.)

WAYNE: I'm on to the china.

(Wayne holds his hand out.)

(Wider shot of all three as Jack puts the keys in Wayne's hand.)

JACK: I want ya back in two hours.

WAYNE: No problem.

(Jack starts to work on his glove as Kevin watches Wayne exit toward the camera. Wayne makes a fist and smiles as he passes the camera.)


Which pretty much narrowed it down to the two of us.

(Kevin looks at his glove.)

ROGER (V/O): Hey, fellas...

(Roger approaches the guys. Jack glances at him, then back to his glove.)

JACK: Roger.


(Roger turns toward the picnic off-screen and smiles.)

ROGER: Great turnout.

JACK: Yeah...

(Shot past Kevin of Jack and Roger.)

ROGER: That contest should be starting soon.

(Roger faces Jack.)

ROGER: You game?

(Jack looks at Roger and nods.)

JACK: I think I'll pass.

(Jack continues to fix his glove.)

ROGER: Right. Can't say as I blame ya. If I didn't work out like a madman...

(Roger pats his stomach and glances off.)

ROGER: I wouldn't dare enter, myself.

(Shot of Jack and Kevin looking at each other.)

No comment.

(Jack looks at his glove again.)

ROGER (V/O): So, this, uh...

(Close shot of Roger looking at Jack off-screen.)

ROGER: Furniture business of yours...I understand it's...

(Close shot of Jack looking toward Roger off-screen.)

ROGER (V/O): Handcrafted work.

JACK: Yeah...

(Jack rubs his nose and looks between his glove and Roger.)

JACK: We use, uh...hardwood frames...dowels in all the joints...

(Close shot of Roger looking at Jack off-screen.)

ROGER: So, what'd you have to do for that - go to, um...furniture school? (Smiles.)

(Shot past Roger of Jack and Kevin looking at him as he chuckles.)

(Jack smiles.)


JACK: I'm getting a beer...

(Jack slaps his glove into Kevin's stomach and walks past the camera.)

(Wider shot of Kevin and Roger as Jack walks past the camera. Roger is looking toward Norma off-screen.)

Great. He gets a cold brew...I get to schmooze with Doctor Wonderful.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Noram at the table in the distance.)

ROGER (V/O): That is one exceptional lady, your mother.

(Shot of Kevin and Roger. Kevin tosses a ball into his glove as Roger crosses his arms and shakes his head slightly.)

ROGER: You gotta wonder what might have been.

(Shot past Roger of Kevin pausing, then frowning.)

ROGER (V/O): Who knows...

(Close shot of Roger turning toward Kevin off-screen.)

ROGER: A few different turns in the road, and...

(Close shot of Kevin frowning as Roger pats his shoulder.)

ROGER (V/O): You might have been my son.

(Wider shot of Kevin watching Roger walk away off-screen.)

Kinda made you want to reconsider the whole science of genetics.

(Shot past Kevin of Roger walking toward Norma in the distance.)

PA (V/O): Ladies and gentlemen. Uh, please take you positions...

Cut to


(The camera pans up a burlap sack as Jack steps into it.)

PA (V/O): For the start of the sack race.

And speaking of potatoes...

KEVIN (V/O): Come on, Dad!

(Close shot of Norma looking at Jack off-screen.)

NORMA: Go, Jack! (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Jack frowning slightly, then glancing off.)

It seemed the old man...

(Shot of Kevin and Norma smiling at Jack off-screen.)

Hadn't completely abandoned the field.

(Shot of Jack and Roger with a few others lining up.)

ROGER: Need a bigger sack, there, Jack?

(Roger looks off and chuckles.)

(Close shot of Jack frowning at Roger off-screen.)

After all, when push came to shove...

JACK: This'll do fine. (Nods.)

(Close shot of Roger smiling and winking slightly at Jack off-screen.)

Dad was never one to turn down a challenge.

(Close shot of the starter raising his pistol.)

(Wide shot along the row of contestants.)

No matter how stupid.

(Close shot of the pistol in the starter's hand as he squeezes the trigger.)

(Shot past Roger of the racers hopping off to "boing-boing" sound effects. Roger passes the camera in the lead as Jack looks at him.)

(Closer shot of Roger approaching the camera, smiling. He glances toward Jack off-screen.)

(Shot of Kevin and Norma watching.)

NORMA: Go, Jack!

(Kevin claps his hands.)

KEVIN: Go, Dad!

(Shot of Jack and two other men hopping along.)

And so began the great burlap grudge-match of nineteen-seventy-three.

(Shot of Kevin and Norma aas the camera pns across them.)

NORMA: Be careful, Jack!

(Shot of Jack, Roger, and a man between them as they approach the camera, which rolls back with them.)

It was a battle for honor, reputation, glory.

(Jack gains on Roger.)

A fight to the finish.

(Close shot of Roger glancing toward Jack off-screen, then determinedly hopping again.)

(Shot from beside Jack as he pulls even with Roger, then takes the lead.)

It was the stuff of legends.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Go, Dad! (Smiles.) Come on!

(Shot past Roger as Jack glances at him, then pulls away. The camera pans with Jack.)

(Close shot of Roger glancing toward Jack off-screen, then forward again.)

(Shot of a small group of spectators cheering.)

(Close shot of the ground and a burlap sack.)

And in the end...it all hinged on one thing.

(Shot of Jack and Roger approaching the camera.)

JACK: Oooh...

(Jack makes a face.)

(Shot from beside Jack as he slows up, holding his back.)

(Close shot of Jack as he grimaces, and collapses below the camera.)

JACK: Ugh...

(Spectators in the background trot forward.)

Cut to

Int. - Gustafson House

(Shot of Karl and Jane looking past the camera, frowning slightly.)

My father's bad back.

(Shot of Roger bent over Jack, who is lying on the couch, grimacing in pain.)

ROGER: Does that hurt?

(Jack winces.)


(Roger nods as he slides his hand out from under Jack's back.)

JACK: Ohh!

ROGER: Thought it might.

(The camera pulls back slowly as Roger pats Jack's shoulder.)

ROGER: A little doctor humor...

(Norma is adjusting a pillow under Jack's legs. Kevin is standing behind the couch.)

JACK: Yeah, thanks.

ROGER: Well, I'm afraid this means...no dancing tonight.

(Roger starts to close his doctor's bag.)

NORMA: Oh...that's too bad.

(Norma rubs Jack's arm.)

(Close shot of Karl and Jane frowning.)

ROGER (V/O): Anyway, I'll call ya tomorrow...

(Close shot of Roger looking at Norma off-screen.)

ROGER: See how he's feeling. (Nods.)

(Wide shot of all as Roger walks past the couch toward Jane.)

NORMA: Thanks, Roger.

ROGER: Sure.

And there ya had it.

(Roger and Jane reach out to each other as Roger looks at Jack, then walks to the door.)

An inglorious end to an even more inglorious weekend.


(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Roger off-screen, then glancing off.)

Not that I was particularly sorry to see this whole charade over with.

JANE (V/O): Isn't this...

(Shot of Karl and Jane looking at Norma off-screen.)

JANE: Always the way? (Frowns.)

(Shot of Norma and Kevin as they look toward Jane off-screen. Norma straightens up.)

NORMA: What do you mean, Mother?

(Shot past Norma of Jane and Karl.)

JANE: You travel all the way out here. (Frowns.) And just when the good times begin...

(Jane looks toward Jack off-screen.)

JANE (V/O): Somebody ruins it.

(Close shot of Jack looking at Jane off-screen, then rolling his eyes and frowning.)

(Shot of Jane and Karl.)

JANE: Our poor little girl's gonna miss her big evening. (Nods.)

(Wider shot of all as Norma laughs and pats Jane's hand.)

KARL: It's a shame, alright.

(Close shot of Kevin looing at them off-screen.)

Jeez - talk about compassion.

(Kevin looks toward Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: Look...

(Kevin looks at Jane and Karl again.)

KEVIN: It's just a dance, right? (Smiles.)

(Kevin looks toward Jack off-screen, then Jane and Karl.)

KEVIN: I mean, if he can't go, he can't go.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Jack frowning in pain.)

JACK: Norma, I think you should go.

(Shot of Kevin frowning at Jack off-screen, then looking toward Norma off-screen.)

NORMA (V/O): Jack...(Giggles.)

(Close shot of Norma looking at Jack off-screen.)

NORMA: You can't even move.

(Close shot of Jack looking up toward Norma off-screen.)

JACK: Your mother's right. It's your big night.

(Shot of Jane and Karl frowning.)

JACK (V/O): Ya came all this way...

(Close shot of Jack frowning.)

JACK: You shouldn't miss it because of me.

(Jack looks up toward Norma off-screen.)

JACK: You should go. (Nods.)

(Close shot of Norma looking at Jack off-screen.)

NORMA: Absolutely not.

(Close shot of Jack looking up toward Norma off-screen.)

JACK: Maybe Roger could take you.

(Jack nods slightly, then smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: What?! (Frowns.)

(Shot of Karl, Jane and Norma looking at Jack off-screen.)

JANE: That's a good idea! (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Jack closing his eyes as he tries to get comfortable.)

And with that, the wheels came off.

Cut to

Ext - Night

(Shot of the front of a car. "A White Sport Coat and Pink Carnation" - Marty Robbins plays.)

The date was made.

(The camera pans across the car as Roger honks the horn.)

(Shot of Norma coming down the stairs.)

NORMA: OK, there he is...(Smiles.)

(The camera pulls back as Norma approaches Karl and Jack on the couch playing gin.)

NORMA: Well, I guess it's time for me to go. (Smiles.)

(Shot of Jane wiping her hands on a towel and smiling. Kevin moves next to her.)

That evening, while the rest of us stayed home...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Karl, Norma and Jack as Norma rubs Jack's head.)

NORMA: Oh, honey, you're sure this is OK?

JACK: Absolutely. (Nods.)

NORMA: Awright, then. Bye.

(Norma leans over the couch and they kiss.)

(Shot of Jane and Kevin.)

JANE: Don't be too late. (Smiles.)

(Shot of Karl, Norma and Jack as Norma walks toward the door.)

I watched my mother waltz out the door for the night of her life.

(Sound of Princess barking.)

KARL: Gin!

(Karl starts to lay his cards down. Jack sighs.)

(Close shot of Kevin frowning at Jack off-screen.)

And for all that, Dad's only response was...

(Close shot of Jack as he looks at Karl's cards and chuckles.)

JACK: Your deal or mine? (Smiles.)

Cut to


(Close shot of an adding machine as Wayne punches some numbers and pulls the lever.)

Face it - nothing made sense.

(The camera pans up slightly as Kevin enters the room.)

Suddenly everything seemed...up for grabs.

WAYNE (V/O): Hey, scrote?

(Kevin pauses.)

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne.)

WAYNE: Is pewter worth anything?

(Shot past Wayne of Kevin.)

KEVIN: I don't know. (Frowns.) Hey, can you stop the inventory for a minute? (Gestures.)

(Close shot of Wayne frowning at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: What's your problem?

(Close shot of Kevin frowning and glancing off.)

But it wasn't gonna be easy to put into words.

(Kevin looks toward Wayne off-screen.)

KEVIN: You think Mom's happy she married Dad? (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: Yeah. Uh, of course. (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne.)

KEVIN: Really? (Smiles.)

WAYNE (V/O): Yeah.

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne looking at him.)

WAYNE: Otherwise, she couldn't have had me. (Laughs.)

(Shot of Wayne and Kevin as Wayne punches some numbers and pulls the lever. Kevin sighs.)

KEVIN: Forget it.

(Kevin walks off. Wayne looks after him off-screen and frowns.)

WAYNE: Hey, do me a favor? See what's in the garage...

KEVIN (V/O): Yeah. I'll do that.

(Wayne nods slightly and looks at the adding machine.)

(Shot of Kevin walking onto the porch. Wayne is sitting at the table in the background. The camera pans with Kevin as he approaches.)

As luck would have it, it was a beautiful spring evening.

(Kevin pauses and looks up.)

And I couldn't help but wonder...

(Shot of the full moon.)

If romance wasn't in the air.

Cut to

Norma's Dance Fantasy

(The camera pans down on Norma and Roger at the dance as a woman's hands place a small tiara on Norma.)

WOMAN (V/O): Ladies and gentlemen, the king and queen of the sweetheart ball.

(Norma smiles in surprise, and Roger smiles as well.)

WOMAN (V/O): Roger...and Norma.

(Sound of a crowd "oohing" and "ahing". Norma looks around, smiling, then turns toward Roger. Sound of a growling dog.)

Cut to


(Close shot of Princess in the yard, looking at Kevin off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin glancing down at Princess.)

OK...this was the last straw.

(Close shot of Princess.)

(Wider shot of Kevin as he gestures.)

KEVIN: You know, I've had just about enough of you. (Points.) I mean you're all bark and no bite. (Gestures.) You're a fake.

(Shot of Princess as she wimpers and backs away.)

KEVIN (V/O): You don't scare anyone. You know that?

(Shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)

KEVIN: That's better. (Nods.)

(Kevin looks off.)

At least I had one victory on this lousy trip.

(Princess starts to growl. Kevin frowns and looks at her off-screen.)

(Closer shot of Kevin looking worried.)

(Shot of Princess as she barks, the runs past the camera.)

(Shot of Kevin putting his hand out.)

KEVIN: Whoa, girl.

(Kevin runs off, followed by Princess.)

Cut to

Ext. - Evening

(High wide shot of a large neighborhood. Sound of garbage cans being knocked over, and dogs barking.)

KEVIN (V/O): Help!

Cut to

The House

(Shot through the hallway as Kevin bangs open the front door and enters.)

Six picket fences, fourteen garbage cans, and thirty two backyards later...

(The camera pulls back as Kevin walks though the dining room, frowning.)

It was official.

(Kevin looks down and touches his torn shirt.)

This trip was a bust.

(Kevin passes behind Karl on the couch and heads toward the stairs. The camera pulls back to include Jack on the couch.)

WAYNE (V/O): Hey, butthead!

(Kevin pauses and turns.)

(Close shot of Wayne holding a pad and paper.)

WAYNE: What happened to you?

(Shot of Kevin in the background behind Karl and Jack. He points toward the street.)

KEVIN: The dog and I took a three-hour tour of the neighborhood. (Frowns.)

KARL: Gin! (Gestures.) That's three straight hands! Hah!

JACK: Yeah, ya got me again, Karl.

(Jack shows Karl the cards in his hand. Karl grunts.)

My mother was AWOL...my father had turned into a punching bag...

(Kevin approaches them slowly.)

KARL: Well, I better turn in.

(Close shot of Karl and Jack as Karl rises.)

KARL: I haven't been feeling quite up to par, lately.

(Close shot of Wayne frowning.)

And my brother...

WAYNE: Gee, Gramps - I hope it's nothing serious.

Had become a ghoul.

(Shot of Karl, Kevin and Jack.)

KARL: Oh, I wouldn't worry, Wayne.

(Karl walks toward Kevin.)

KARL: Us Gustafson's are made of strong stock.

(He slaps Kevin's shoulder.)

KARL: Hadn't been a one of us didn't live to at least ninety-five.

(Close shot of Wayne frowning.)

WAYNE: What?

(Close shot of Karl resting on the bannister, looking at Wayne off-screen.)

KARL: Yep. (Gestures.) Might as well put that calculator away...

(Karl laughs, and starts up the stairs. The camera pans slightly to include Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

KARL: Night, all.

(Close shot of Wayne gesturing as he passes the camera.)

WAYNE: Ninety-five...Really?

(Shot of Jack on the couch, Kevin behind it and Karl in the background as Wayne hurries after Karl.)

WAYNE: So, how old are you now?

(Kevin sits in a chair.)

(Close shot of Kevin frowning and shaking his head, looking off.)

KEVIN: Perfect.

(Close shot of Jack glancing over his shoulder toward Kevin off-screen.)

KEVIN (V/O): This is perfect.

(Shot past Jack of Kevin.)

JACK: What's wrong with you?

(Kevin turns quickly toward Jack and pauses.)

And that just about did it.


(Jack turns toward Kevin. Kevin leans forward and gestures.)

KEVIN: What's wrong with me ?

(Shot past Kevin of Jack looking at him blankly.)

It was time to tell 'em exactly how I felt. About him...about Mom...

(Shot past Jack of Kevin looking around.)

About the stupid gin games, and the dumb boyfriends and the idiotic dog...

(Kevin gestures with both arms.)

KEVIN: I hate this place!

(Shot past Kevin of Jack looking at him blankly.)

Yeah. That was it - in a nutshell.

(Jack pauses, then chuckles and looks at the cards.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: What's so funny? (Frowns.)

(Shot past Kevin of Jack looking at the cards.)

JACK: You're starting to sound...

(Jack looks at Kevin.)

JACK: Just like your mother. (Smiles.)

(Shot past Jack of Kevin.)

KEVIN: What?! (Frowns heavily.)

JACK: You heard me. (Smiles.)

KEVIN: Yeah, but Mom loves this place. (Gestures.)

JACK: Yeah, for a day or two, maybe.

(Close shot of Jack glancing toward Kevin off-screen.)

JACK: Trust me. (Nods.) Twenty-one years ago, she couldn't wait to get out.

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen, and pausing.)

KEVIN: You're kidding...

JACK (V/O): Ah...

(Close shot of Jack looking down at the cards.)

JACK: Your mother wanted more from life than what a small town like this had to offer.

(Close shot of Kevin gesturing over his shoulder.)

KEVIN: So why didn't she tell Grandma and Grandpa about it?

(Close shot of Jack looking down at the cards.)

KEVIN (V/O): She never says a word.

(Jack looks off.)

JACK: She used to.

(Jack nods slightly and looks at Kevin off-screen.)

JACK: They couldn't hear her. (Smiles.) Parents are like that sometimes.

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen, and pausing.)

And I guess right about then...

(Close shot of Jack smiling at Kevin off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen.)

A few things started to fall into place.

(Sound of the front door opening. Kevin looks toward it.)

NORMA (V/O): Hi!

(Shot of Jack and Kevin, as Norma enters in the background.)

JACK: You're home early!

NORMA: Yeah...

(Norma closes the door and approaches.)

NORMA: I know.

(She pats Kevin on the head.)

JACK: How was it?

(Norma hesitates slightly.)

NORMA: It was...(nods)...fine. (Nods.)

(She walks around the couch.)

NORMA: But when the time comes for my thirtieth reunion...

JACK: Yeah...

(She puts her hand on Jack's shoulder and sits on the arm of the couch.)

NORMA: Let's tear it up.

(Jack smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward them off-screen.)

Maybe a lot of things.

(Shot past Kevin of Jack and Norma as Jack chuckles.)

JACK: How was Roger? (Smiles.)

NORMA: Roger...(Smiles.) Roger's the same old jerk he always was.

(Jack and Norma laugh.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward them off-screen.)

JACK (V/O): Ow...

(Shot past Kevin of Jack and Norma as Jack grimaces in pain.)

NORMA: Oooh, honey, sorry!

(Jack and Norma smile.)

(Close shot of Jane on the stairway.)

JANE: So how was the dance? (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Norma looking over her shoulder.)

NORMA: Actually...it was a little boring. (Nods.)

(Close shot of Jane on the stairway.)

JANE: But you had a good time? (Nods.)

(Shot past Kevin of Jack and Norma. She looks at Jack a moment, then Jane off-screen.)

NORMA: Yeah. (Nods.) I did.

(Close shot of Kevin smiling slightly at them off-screen.)

After all, maybe there are some things in life that just can't be changed.

(Close shot of Jane smiling at Norma off-screen.)

A child's hopes. A parent's dreams.

JANE: Well, goodnight, everyone.

(Jane turns up the stairs.)

(Close shot of Norma looking after her off-screen.)

NORMA: G'night. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin turning from Jane to Norma and Jack off-screen.)

NORMA (V/O): So...did you let Dad beat you?

(Shot past Kevin of Jack and Norma. Jack nods slightly as he looks at the cards.)

JACK: Just enough to make him happy.

(Jack looks at Norma and smiles.)

NORMA: Thanks.

(Norma smiles and rubs his head.)

And maybe, when it comes to families...

(Wider shot of all.)

That's all for the best.

JACK: Why don't we take a little walk?

(Jack frowns as he takes his feet off the coffee-table. Kevin stands up.)

NORMA: Oh, oh, Jack - what about your back?

(Norma rises and helps Jack up.)

JACK: Well, I'm down - but I'm not out. Oh...

NORMA: No. No, I'll bet you're not.

(Norma pats Jack on the back.)

(Music "Our Love Is Here To Stay" - Nat King Cole starts.)

(Jack and Norma slowly exit.)

"It's very clear"

JACK: Night, son.

(The camera moves in slowly on Kevin looking after them off-screen.)

"Our love is here to stay"

Fade to

Bedroom Window

(Shot through the window of Kevin approaching. He moves the curtain aside and looks out.)

Like they say...growing up isn't easy.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Jack and Norma on a bench outside, snuggling.)

"Not for a year"

No matter how old you are.

(Close shot through the window of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)

It's all a matter of time, and luck. And if you're very lucky...

"But ever and a day"

(Closer shot of Jack and Norma laughing.)

Maybe love.

"In time"

(Close shot through the window of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)

"The Rockies may crumble"

(Shot from behind Kevin as he turns from the window.)

All I knew was, that night...

(Kevin rolls into bed.)

In that old house...

(Kevin looks toward the window and smiles slightly as he settles in.)

"Gibraltar may tumble away"

I felt part of something lasting.

(Close shot of Princess as she jumps onto Kevin's bed, lies down, and pants.)


(Shot of Kevin frowning at Princess off-screen.)

"But our love is here"

For better or worse.

(Kevin sits up and pauses.)

(Close shot of Princess looking at him off-screen and panting.)

"To stay"

(Close shot of Kevin frowning slightly at Princess off-screen.)

KEVIN: Goodnight.

(Close shot of Princess looking at him off-screen and panting.)

(Close shot of Kevin settling back down.)

(Close shot of Princess setting her head down.)

Fade to


KEVIN (V/O): You're not going to snore, are you?

(Princess growls.)

Supporting Cast
Jane - Jean Speegle Howard
Karl - Macon McCalmon
Roger - Edward Edwards

"White Sport Coat and a Pink Carnation" - Marty Robbins
"Our Love Is Here To Stay" Nat King Cole

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Episode Info
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4/6/5 20:55