Episode 110 - "Eclipse"

(Shot of solar flares and corona during an eclipse of the sun.)

On the afternoon of March 21, 1973, at exactly 2:15 PM, a rare astronomical event occurred - a total eclipse of the sun. As the sun, the moon and the earth began to move into line...

(Picture flashes to white, with sound effects.)

So did we.

Fade to
Ext. Day - Bus Area at School

(Shot drops in from overhead, to next to Mr. Plenitzer, who is checking students entering the bus.)

MR. PLENITZER: Miss Corregliano, Mr. Gottlieb, Mr. Cashion, Miss *Lackeroo*, Miss Burke...

(Miss Lackeroo turns to the girl behind her.)

MISS LACKEROO: So I called him...

MR. PLENITZER: Step lively, Miss *Leckaroo*. We need to be at the Nierman planetarium by noon.

(Miss Lackeroo frowns as she enters the bus.)

MISS LACKEROO: What a weiner.

MR. PLENITZER: Mr. Gabler, Mr. ...

A field trip.

(A football jock makes "rabbit ears" behind Mr. Plenitzer's head.)

It was a chance to bring education to the unwashed masses of the junior class.

MR. PLENITZER: Mr. Abramson...

HARLAN: Present.

(Harlan gestures with a Twinkie as he gets on bus.)

Like Harlan Abramson, McKinley's living monument to polyunsaturated fats.

(Close shot of a girl with an unlit cigarette in her mouth.)

MR. PLENITZER: Miss Genaro...

Or Mary Jo Genaro. Senior year, she became the first girl at McKinley...

(Mr. Plenitzer turns toward Mary Jo as she passes him.)

To take her parole officer to the prom.

(Mr. Plenitzer takes the unlit cigarette out of Mary Jo's mouth.)

MR. PLENITZER: No smoking, Miss Genaro...

MARY JO: What was I thinking!

MR. PLENITZER: Mr. Robinson...

(Shot of a boy in an Army field jacket, playing with a cigarette lighter.)

Louis Lanahan. When mankind discovered fire, they hadn't quite counted on Louis.

MR. PLENITZER: Mr. Donlan, Miss Lowell. Alright, people, let's get moving.

(Louis lights the cigarette that Mr. Plenitzer has still in his hands.)

MR. PLENITZER: We have a full day ahead of us.

(Mr. Plenitzer turns around as Louis ducks under him onto the bus. Mr. Plenitzer scares himself with the now lit cigarette. He drops it and stomps it out.)

And so, in a cloud of smoke and a mighty Hi-ho, Silver!...

Cut to
Ext. Day - Curvy Road

(Shot of the bus approaching.)

We were on the way to the Nierman planetarium. Thirty-four students and one teacher on the road to higher education.

(Shot of rowdy jocks in the back of the bus. The camera pulls back.)

Such as it was.

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): OK, listen up everybody.

(Close shot of Mr. Plenitzer standing at the front of the bus, snapping his fingers.)

MR. PLENITZER: I must have your complete attention. Please!

(Shot of Chuck, Kevin and Winnie looking toward Mr. Plenitzer off-screen.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): Gentlemen!...

(Close shot of Mr. Plenitzer.)

MR. PLENITZER: Students! (Frowns.) People!

(Shot of the rowdy students at the back of the bus.)

(Close shot of Mr. Plenitzer glancing over his shoulder towar the bus-driver, who slams on the brakes, stands up and faces the students.)

BUS DRIVER: Hey! Kids shut up back there! Turn that damn radio off!

(Shot of the kids looking a little surprised as they comply.)

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer and the bus driver.)

BUS DRIVER: Animals.

(The driver sits down.)

MR. PLENITZER: Thank you.

(Shot of the bus approaching on the road.)

All in all it was a unique opportunity to exchange ideas outside the confines of the classroom.

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin and Winnie. Alice and Chuck are turned around in their seat.)

KEVIN: Truth or dare? (Smiles.)

WINNIE: Truth. (Smiles.)

To expand the boundaries of higher education...

KEVIN: Who is the best kisser you've ever kissed?

(Shot past Winnie of Chuck and Alice looking at her.)

WINNIE: The best?

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin and Winnie.)

WINNIE: That would be...

(Winnie glances off, then looks at Kevin.)

WINNIE: You! (Smiles.)

(Kevin smiles toward Chuck and Alice off-screen.)

To go where no man...

(Shot of Chuck and Alice.)

Had gone before.

CHUCK: Are you going to play for real or not? (Gestures.)

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin and Winnie.)

KEVIN: We are!

(He looks at Winnie.)

KEVIN: I asked her an honest question, and...(smiles)...she gave me an honest answer.

CHUCK (V/O): Right!

(Shot of Chuck and Alice.)

ALICE: I mean, no one is taking this seriously. (Frowns.)

CHUCK: Yeah. You could really learn a lot from this game.

ALICE: Maybe that's what they're afraid of.

(Alice looks at Chuck.)

ALICE: Right, Pooh Bear?

(Chuck puts his arm around Alice.)

CHUCK: Uh-huh, huh, huh.

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin and Winnie as they look at each other.)

WINNIE: OK. Truth or dare?

KEVIN: Truth.

(Shot past Winnie of Chuck and Alice.)

ALICE: Make it a hard one. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WINNIE: OK. If you had to change one thing about me, what would it be?

(Close shot of Kevin looking from Winnie off-screen toward Chuck and Alice off-screen.)

Now, of course, moments like this had to be handled carefully.

(Kevin looks forward and shrugs, then looks at Winnie off-screen.)

KEVIN: I wouldn't change a thing. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Winnie smiling at Kevin off-screen.)

WINNIE: Come on, Kevin. There's gotta be something about me you want to change.

(Close shot of Kevin looking from Winnie toward Chuck and Alice.)

WINNIE (V/O): You can tell me.

(Kevin looks at Winnie off-screen and shrugs.)

KEVIN: No. Nothing. (Smiles.)

(Shot past Winnie of Chuck and Alice.)

CHUCK: Forget it! (Gestures.) This is joke.

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin and Winnie.)

WINNIE: Come on, Kevin. You can tell me.

KEVIN: Well, I am! (Smiles.) I mean, you're perfect. In fact, if I was absolutely forced to pick one thing, that would be it.

WINNIE: What would?

(Kevin looks off.)

KEVIN: Well, I'd have to say, if anything, sometimes you are...

(Kevin looks at Winnie.)

KEVIN: Too perfect.

(Close shot of Winnie frowning slightly. Doppler sound effect of a honking car passing the bus.)


WINNIE: Too perfect? (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Winnie off-screen.)


(Shot of Mary Jo and two other girls. Mary Jo is writing on the back of the seat in front of her. Sound of a car horn.)

SHEILA: This field trip chews.

CINDY: I told you we should have cut today.

(Sheila looks off.)

SHEILA: Yuck! Look at that!

(Shot of Harlan opening a "Ding Dong".)

SHEILA (V/O): That Harlan kid's disgusting!

(Close shot of Sheila.)

SHEILA: What is he doing that for? (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Cindy looking toward Harlan off-screen.)

CINDY: Maybe, he is dieting. (Smiles.)

(Cindy turns toward Sheila off-screen as they giggle.)

(Close shot of Sheila smiling at Cindy off-screen.)

(Shot of Harlan smelling the Ding Dong.)

CINDY (V/O): So gross.

(Harlan bites into the center of the Ding Dong.)

(Shot of the girls.)

SHEILA: Can you imagine kissing him?

CINDY: Not without barfing! (Smiles.)

SHEILA: I wouldn't do it for a million dollars.

CINDY: I wouldn't do it for anything.

(Mary Jo looks toward Harlan off-screen.)

MARY JO: I'd do it for thirty.

(Camera zooms in closer on her. Twangy guitar music starts.)

There you had it.

(Shot of Harlan pushing the Ding Dong into his mouth.)

Where ordinary mortals saw nothing but a fat kid with a cupcake...

(Close shot of Mary Jo frowning at Harlan off-screen.)

Mary Jo Genaro saw the challenge of a lifetime.

(Close shot of Sheila looking at Mary Jo off-screen.)

SHEILA: Twenty-five?

CINDY (V/O): Yeah.

(Close shot of Cindy looking at Mary Jo off-screen.)

CINDY: And we're gonna need a hickey for proof. (Smiles.)

SHEILA (V/O): Yeah. A big hickey.

(Close shot of Mary Jo looking toward the back of the seat in front of her.)

MARY JO: You got it. (Frowns.)

(Twang of guitar as Mary Jo looks toward Harlan off-screen.)

(Shot of Harlan eating the Ding Dong.)

(Shot of past Winnie of Chuck and Alice facing each other.)

CHUCK: Come on, Pooky, we'll show them how it's done.

ALICE: Chucky, what's the one thing you would change about me? Honestly!

CHUCK: I guess it would have to be, uh...your voice. (Nods.)

ALICE: What do you mean? (Frowns.) What's wrong with my voice?

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin and Winnie as they glance at each other. Kevin smiles slightly.)

(Close shot of Chuck looking at Alice off-screen.)

CHUCK: Not your voice. Ah, your hair.

(Close shot of Alice frowning at Chuck.)

ALICE: You don't like my hair?!

(Close shot of Chuck looking at Alice off-screen.)

CHUCK: No, I like it. (Gestures.)

(Shot of Chuck and Alice.)

ALICE: Oh, you ought to talk, Brillohead!

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin and Winnie.)

KEVIN: Come on, guys.

(Close shot of Chuck looking at Alice off-screen.)

CHUCK: Pooky, this is just a game!

(Shot past Chuck of Alice looking at him.)

ALICE (Yelling): Fine! My turn. Truth or dare? (Frowns.) I choose truth. Who is the weasliest, most disgusting, grossest thing that I have ever laid eyes on in my whole entire life?

(Close shot of Chuck looking toward Kevin off-screen.)

CHUCK: Maybe we shouldn't play this anymore. (Frowns.)

(Shot past Chuck of Alice looking at him.)

ALICE: I'm glad I found out how you really feel about me!

(Alice gets up.)

CHUCK: Pooky?

ALICE: Get out of my way!

(Alice passes the camera, and Chuck looks after her.)

(Shot of Alice approaching Louis' seat. He is reading a magazine about World War II, and holding a shot-gun shell. Alice stops next to him.)

ALICE: Move over.

(Louis looks up.)

ALICE: Move!

(She takes the aisle seat and crosses her arms. Louis resumes reading his magazine.)

ALICE: I'm so mad I could explode!

(Louis lowers his magazine and looks at her.)

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin and Winnie.)

KEVIN: Can you believe those two? Getting upset about that stupid game?

WINNIE: No, I can't imagine it.

(Winnie frowns and glances at Kevin.)


KEVIN: Oh, come on, Winnie. You can't be that mad...All I said was...

(Close shot of Winnie looking forward.)

WINNIE: I heard what you said!

(She frowns at Kevin off-screen.)

WINNIE: In fact, I heard you...perfectly!

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Winnie off-screen.)

Alright, clearly it was time to put this fire out.

KEVIN: Winnie, I meant that as a good thing.

(Close shot of Winnie looking forward and frowning slightly.)

KEVIN (V/O): I mean, you're really a nice person.

(Winnie glances at Kevin off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Winnie off-screen.)

KEVIN: Well, I mean that as good thing, too. You are like, uh...

(Kevin glances off, then looks at Winnie off-screen.)

KEVIN: Mary Tyler Moore on TV. You know...perky. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Winnie frowning at Kevin off-screen, then looking forward.)

(Shot of both looking forward.)

KEVIN: Winnie, I mean, you gotta admit you've always been kind of...(shrugs)...well-behaved.

(Kevin looks at Winnie as she glances off and frowns.)

KEVIN: I mean, there are just certain things you wouldn't do.

(Winnie squints and frowns.)

WINNIE: Like what?

Hmm, skipping the obvious...

KEVIN: Well...

(Kevin looks past Winnie.)

KEVIN: Like that for instance. (Points.)

(Shot of a boy frowning and throwing a spitwad.)

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer. Sound effect as a spitwad hits his glasses and bounces off. He stands up and looks toward the students suspiciously, then sits down again.)

(Shot of Kevin and Winnie as she removes a piece of paper from her purse and tears off a piece of it.)

KEVIN: But, I mean, that's not a bad thing...

(Kevin looks forward as Winnie puts a piece of paper in her mouth.)

KEVIN: It's just...

(Kevin looks at Winnie.)

KEVIN: Who you a-.

(Winnie looks at Kevin as she chews the paper.)

KEVIN (V/O): It's just...

(Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen and chewing.)

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: I mean, you don't have to do that.

(Close shot of Winnie as she takes the paper from her mouth.)

KEVIN: Winnie...

(Winnie looks toward Mt. Plenitzer off-screen and throws the spitwad - with sound effects.)

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer as the spitwad hits him on the cheek.)


(Mr. Plenitzer holds his cheek.)

MR. PLENITZER: OK, that does it!

(Mr. Plenitzer frowns and stands up.)

(Shot of Kevin and Winnie.)

WINNIE: You were saying?

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer approaching the camera.)

MR. PLENITZER: Excuse me. (Frowns.) Miss Cooper!

(Shot of Kevin and Winnie as Mr. Plenitzer bends forward, and speaks in a softer voice.)

MR. PLENITZER: Miss Cooper...

(Close shot of Mr. Plenitzer glancing around the bus.)

MR. PLENITZER: Did ya see who threw that spitball?

(Shot of Kevin and Winnie. She glances at Kevin, then looks at Mr. Plenitzer off-screen.)


KEVIN: Winnie..

WINNIE: I did it.

(Close shot of Mr. Plenitzer as he smiles.)

MR. PLENITZER: I admire your reluctance to turn in your fellow student.

(Shot of Kevin and Winnie looking at Mr. Plenitzer off-screen. Winnie looks disappointed.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): However...

(Close shot of Mr. Plenitzer as he stands up and raises his voice.)

MR. PLENITZER: I will tolerate no more rowdy behavior on this bus!

(He turns toward his seat.)

(Shot of two football players near the back of the bus as they make farting sounds.)

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer looking over his shoulder and frowning.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at Winnie and nodding slightly. Winnie glances at him, then looks down and frowns.)

And with that quantum leap forward in human dynamics...

(Shot of the bus pulling into a small reststop.)

We moved on to more pressing matters.

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): OK, people, we are making an emergency rest stop for Mr. Abramson who suffers from a nervous colon.

(The bus stops.)

(Shot of the students as they giggle.)

(Shot of Kevin and Winnie. Kevin smiles and Winnie frowns.)

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer and Harlan standing at the front of the bus.)

MR. PLENITZER: But, I must ask the rest of you to please remain in your seats so we can reach the planetarium...on schedule.

(Shot of Kevin and Winnie.)

It was a thoroughly reasonable request. So, of course...

(Shot of the bus side-door opening as students unload.)

We ignored it.

(Shot of the back of the bus as Alice approaches the camera, and Chuck hurries after her.)

CHUCK: Alice, you have a beautiful voice! Like a nightingale.

(Alice crosses her arms and frowns.)

ALICE: Shut up, ratface!

(Chuck slows up as Alice passes the camera.)

CHUCK: (To himself): I should have chose dare.

(He hurries past the camera. Winnie approaches, followed by Kevin. Winnie turns toward Kevin, imitating Mary Tyler Moore.)

WINNIE: Excuse me, Mr. Grant, but I better see how Rhoda is doing.

(Winnie approaches the camera, and Kevin watches her in disbelief.)

KEVIN: Great. (Gestures.)

(Kevin walks toward the restroom.)

It seems there was something to be said for keeping higher education confined to the classroom.

Cut to

The Restroom

(Shot of Louis looking in the mirror as Kevin enters. The door hits Louis, who drops something from his jacket. The camera pans down to a pile of explosives.)

Because a little knowledge could be a dangerous thing.

(Shot of Kevin and Louis looking down and frowning.)

KEVIN: You, uh, dropped something.

(Shot of Louis squatting down and picking up his stuff.)

Enough cherry bombs and ash cans...

(Shot of Louis as he stands up slowly.)

To take out an armory.

LOUIS: They're something, aren't they? I got a cousin down in North Carolina...keeps me supplied.

(Shot past Louis of Kevin frowning at him.)

LOUIS: See this baby?

(Louis hands Kevin a cherry bomb.)

KEVIN: Yeah, it's, uh...(frowns)...great.

(Kevin steps past Louis, and they face each other.)

LOUIS: Biggest one they make. Beauty, ain't it?

(Shot past Louis of Kevin.)

Great! I was stuck in the men's room with the mad bomber himself.

(Kevin hands the cherry bomb back to Louis.)

LOUIS: I got plans for this baby! Look, Arnold...

(Close shot past Kevin of Louis looking at him.)

LOUIS: You seem to be a trust-worthy kind of guy. Do you know what's gonna happen at exactly two-fifteen today?

(Close shot past Louis of Kevin looking at him.)

KEVIN: Well, yeah - there's gonna be an eclipse.

LOUIS: Nah, nah, nah.

(Close shot past Kevin of Louis looking at him.)

LOUIS: That's not all there's gonna be.

(Close shot past Louis of Kevin looking at him.)

LOUIS: They got a toilet at the planetarium. The cherry bomb goes in...

(Close shot of Louis looking at Kevin off-screen.)

LOUIS: And then...tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom!

(Close shot past Louis of Kevin looking at him.)

Maybe he was into some sort of Gestalt therapy...

(Shot past Kevin of Louis as Chuck rushes in. Louis hides the bombs under his jacket as Chuck frowns and passes between them.)

(Shot past Louis of Kevin and Chuck facing each other.)

CHUCK: It's no use. She won't even come out of the ladies' room.

(Kevin glances toward Louis.)

(Close shot of Louis looking at Kevin off-screen.)

LOUIS: Remember, Arnold, two-fifteen sharp. (Gestures.) Cover your ears.

(Louis starts to open the door.)

(Shot of Kevin and Chuck looking at Louis off-screen.)

CHUCK: Wait a minute. (Frowns.) I thought we just weren't supposed to look at the eclipse. (Nods.)

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin looking at him.)

KEVIN: Forget it, Chuck.

(Shot past Kevin of Chuck as Kevin washes his hands.)

CHUCK: What am I supposed to do? I should have played it safe like you.

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin looking at him skeptically.)

Yeah, right.

(Shot of Kevin and Chuck as Harlan emerges from a stall in the background. He squeezes between Kevin and Chuck.)

HARLAN: Excuse me.

(Close shot of Harlan's leg as he opens the door and exits. Some toilet paper is stuck to his shoe. The camera pans up to Mary Jo leaning against the wall outside the door.)

MARY JO: Harlan, right?

(Harlan nods slightly, and Mary Jo holds out a "Yodel" snack.)

MARY JO: Want a Yodel?

(She smiles slyly.)

(Shot past Kevin of Harlan and Mary Jo reflected in the mirror.)


(The door closes, and Kevin finishes washing his hands.)

(Shot past Kevin as Chuck paces behind him.)

CHUCK: I was just so confused. I mean there were so many things to choose from. (Gestures.)

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin turning toward him.)

KEVIN: Look, Chuck, I've got my own problems, OK? (Frowns.)

(Kevin opens the door and exits.)

The way I saw it, in the dog-eat-dog world of scientific exploration...

(Chuck turns toward the mirror.)

It was every man for himself.

(Shot of Chuck combing his hair with his hands. Sound of the bus horn.)

CHUCK: I don't think it looks like Brillo...

(Chuck pulls on the door knob, but it won't open.)

Cut to

The Bus

(Shot of Mary Jo following Harlan down the aisle of the bus.)

HARLAN: You know this was really nice of you.

MARY JO: I'm a very giving person.

(Harlan sits down.)

MARY JO: Mind if a share your seat?

(Mary Jo sits next to Harlan as a nerdy boy approaches her.)

BOY: Excuse me, but...

(Close shot of Mary Jo looking at the boy off-screen.)

MARY JO: Go blow, Poindexter!

Close shot of the boy looking off and frowning.)


(Shot of Harlan and Mary Jo. She offers offers a box of candy to him.)

MARY JO: How about some Good-N-Plenty?

(Harlan takes the candy and looks at it.)

Cut to

Int. - Restroom

(Shot of Chuck banging on the restroom door.)

CHUCK: Somebody, help!

(He twists the doorknob.)

CHUCK: I'm going to miss the bus!

Cut to

The Bus

(Shot past Winnie of Alice looking at her.)

ALICE: He better not try to sit here, either. I don't want him anywhere near me!

(Shot past Alice of Winnie and Kevin.)

As things turned out, that wouldn't really be a problem.

(Close shot of the bus tire as it pulls away. "Truckin'" starts. The camera pans over to the restroom.)

CHUCK (V/O): Hey, don't you joke. Let me out now! I'm counting to three. One, two, three...four! Let me out!

Fade to
Ext. Day - Planetarium Parking Lot

(Shot of the bus approaching the camera.)

And so, in the spirit of intellectual discovery and personal enrichment, we finally reached our destination...

(The camera pans up past the bus as it stops, revealing a domed building in the background.)

The Nierman planetarium.

(Shot of the bus door as Mr. Plenitzer exits, followed by students.)

MR. PLENITZER: Now remember, we'll all meet on the lawn promptly at two o'clock.

(The camera pans with Louis as he exits and approaches.)

MR. PLENITZER: If any of you need to use the restrooms, make sure you go before that.

(Louis pats his jacket, which covers the bulging explosives.)

LOUIS: Check.

(Mary Jo and Harlan exit the side door as Louis passes the camera.)

LOUIS (V/O): Tick, tick, tick, boom...

HARLAN: The thing about this place is I always seem to learn something new here.

MARY JO: You know it, pal.

(The camera pans with two football players who playfully punch each other.)

The stage was set.

(The camera moves in on Mr. Plenitzer, Kevin and Winnie as they approach.)

MR. PLENITZER: Now, pe- now people, let's stick together, huh?

(Mr. Plenitzer hurries past the camera.)

The opponents were in their corners...

KEVIN: So, what do we wanna see...

(Winnie gives him a look. Kevin pauses as Winnie hurries past the camera.)

KEVIN: First...

The lines were drawn.

(Alice approaches Kevin.)

ALICE: Kevin, have you seen Chuck anywhere?

(The camera circles around them.)


ALICE: Well, can you tell him wherever he went, because I don't want to see him!

KEVIN: Sure. Fine. I gotta go.

(Kevin trots off toward the building in the background.)


All in all, it promised to be one heck of an eclipse.

Cut to

Ext. Day - Roadside Reststop

(Shot of the restroom window as Chuck climbs backward through it. Twangy guitar plays.)

As for Chuck...

(Chuck drops to the ground, and looks toward the road off-screen.)

From now on...

(The camera pans with Chuck as he trots to the road.)

He was navigating by the seat of his pants.

(The camera pulls up and back as Chuck looks up and down the road.)

CHUCK: Where is everybody? Hey. Hey! Hello. Hello? Taxi?! (Gestures.)

Fade to
Int. Day - Planetarium

(Shot of the planetarium ceiling. The camera pans down slowly.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): So, you see the movement of the earth causes the pendulum to knock down another peg exactly...every five minutes.

(The students are looking down on the pendulum which swings back-and-forth slowly.)

So, with eager faces we entered...

(Shot of three students moving their heads back and forth, following the movement of the off-screen pendulum. The girl in the middle is blowing a large gum-bubble.)

The stimulating world of...astronomy.

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): Now, at precisely two o'clock...

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer in a crowd of students.)

MR. PLENITZER: We'll meet on the front lawn and I will hand each of you a special viewing card.

(Close shot of the pendulum.)

With the eclipse of the century only an hour away, things were really popping.

(The pendulum knocks over a peg.)

(Shot of the three students as the girl pops her gum.)

Cut to
Museum Display

(Shot past Harlan and Mary Jo of an exhibit sign reading "CAUTION: GUIDE MUST DEMONSTRATE".)

(The camera pulls back. Harlan and Mary Jo are facing away from the camera.)

MARY JO: What is this, anyway?

HARLAN: It's an electrical step-transformer.

(Mary Jo looks at Harlan.)

MARY JO: Pretty creepy looking.

(Harlan turns toward Mary Jo.)

HARLAN: Huh? Oh, no! (Gestures.)

(Shot past Mary Jo of Harlan looking at the exhibit.)

HARLAN: It actually proves electricity is all around us.

(Harlan looks at Mary Jo and nods slightly.)

(Shot past Harlan of Mary Jo looking at him.)

MARY JO: You don't say. (Frowns.)

HARLAN: Electricity's at the heart...

(Mary Jo turns around and makes a gagging gesture.)

HARLAN: Of every chemical reaction.

(Shot of Sheila, Cindy and another girl looking at Mary Jo off-screen and giggling.)

(Shot past Harlan of Mary Jo looking at him.)

MARY JO: How about we hang out together, Harlan?

(Close shot of Harlan looking at Mary Jo off-screen.)

HARLAN: Really?

(Close shot of Mary Jo looking at Harlan off-screen.)

MARY JO: After all...

(Wider shot of both as she touches his hand.)

MARY JO: You are kinda cute.

(Very close shot of their joined hands as Mary Jo guides Harlan's finger to the display button.)

(Shot of both as lightning bolts shoot in the display booth.)

Cut to
Planetarium Gift Shop

(Shot of Kevin looking at a photovoltaic globe.)

(Wider shot of Kevin as Winnie approaches him, wearing a baseball cap.)

WINNIE: So, what do you think? (Gestures.)

(Kevin gestures.)

(Shot past Kevin of Winnie looking at him.)

KEVIN: Well, you know...

WINNIE: I know. It's not me, right? (Nods.) Whoever that is. (Frowns.)

(She takes off the hat.)


(Shot past Winnie of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: Look, I love the hat. Here, I'll even buy it for you. (Smiles.)

(Shot past Kevin of Winnie looking at him.)

WINNIE: Kevin, don't bother. (Frowns.)

(She looks at him a moment, and softens.)

WINNIE: I...I think I'll just...wear it out. (Smiles.)

(Wider shot of both as Winnie puts on the hat and exits. Kevin looks after her and frowns.)

(Shot of Winnie pausing and looking over her shoulder at Kevin off-screen and smiling slightly, then walking away.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking over his shoulder at the saleswoman in the background.)

Just one little problem, here.

(Kevin looks at Winnie off-screen.)

KEVIN: Oh God.

(Shot of Winnie holding the hat and smiling at Kevin off-screen as she leaves.)

(Shot of Kevin looking after her off-screen. The focus shifts to the saleswoman in the background.)

SALESWOMAN: May I help you with something? (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: No, we were...

Let's see.

(Kevin nods and smiles self-consciously at the saleswoman off-screen.)

KEVIN: I...I was...just, uh...

(Wider shot of both as Kevin glances off.)

Let's call it...

KEVIN: Nevermind.

(He hurries past the camera.)


Cut to

Ext. - Planetarium

(Shot of the double doors as Winnie opens them and exits. Kevin is right behind her.)

KEVIN: Winnie, are you crazy? (Frowns.)

(Winnie looks forward as she walks.)

WINNIE: I don't know. Maybe.

KEVIN: Yeah, well, don't do it again! Next time you might get caught.

WINNIE: I wouldn't worry about it, Kevin.

(She glances at Kevin.)

WINNIE: Besides it is your turn! (Smiles.)

KEVIN: My turn?

WINNIE: Yeah...(Frowns.) You know, now that I think about it...

(She looks at Kevin.)

WINNIE: You're pretty well-behaved yourself.

KEVIN: Oh, get outta here, Winnie!

WINNIE: No, you are. You're nice, and you're sweet. And to tell you the truth, well, you've always reminded me of - Beaver Cleaver. (Giggles and gestures.)


KEVIN: Get outta here! I do not. (Frowns.)

(They stop walking and face each other.)

WINNIE: Kevin, you know, you talk a good game.

(Shot past Kevin of Winnie looking at him.)

WINNIE: But, I don't see you doing anything.

(Shot past Winnie of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: Fine. (Gestures.) What - you want me to shoplift something?

(Shot past Kevin of Winnie looking off.)


(She looks at Kevin.)

WINNIE: Well, I already have a hat. But I'm sure you'll think of something - Theodore.

(Wide shot of both. Some twangy music plays as Winnie turns away.)

WINNIE: Bye! (Exits.)

Cut to
Ext. Day - Roadside

(High wide shot of Chuck at the side of the road as a truck approaches.)

(Closer shot of Chuck as he waves and jumps around.)

CHUCK: Hey, hey!

(Shot of Chuck as he sticks out his thumb.)

CHUCK: Ride! Gimme a ride!

(The truck, loaded with chickens, slows up past the camera. The camera pans with Chuck as he trots up and gets in.)

CHUCK: Man, thanks for the ride.

(Close shot through the windshield of Chuck looking forward.)

CHUCK: You won't believe this but you probably just saved my -

(Music ends as Chuck pauses and looks toward the driver off-screen.)

(Shot through the windshield of the driver, who looks like Charles Manson.)

DRIVER: Don't mention it.

(Shot of the truck driving off.)

Let's face it.

Cut to

Int. Day - Plantarium Display

(Shot of a sign reading "YOUR WEIGHT ON JUPITER". The camera pans down to a scale, which reflects Mary Jo, who is standing on it, and Harlan behind her.)

This eclipse was beginning to affect everybody.

MARY JO: Two hundred and ninety pounds?

(The camera pans over to them.)

MARY JO: Now I'm the big load.

(Mary Jo looks at Harlan.)

MARY JO: Oh, I'm sorry.

HARLAN: It's OK, Mary Jo.

(Shot past Harlan of Mary Jo looking at him.)

HARLAN: That's an unusual name, isn't it?

MARY JO: Like you should talk, Harlan.

(Shot past Mary Jo of Harlan looking at her, slightly surprised.)

HARLAN: Oh, no, I meant it's pretty. Like...

(He looks off and sighs, then looks at Mary Jo.)

HARLAN: Like you.

(Shot past Harlan of Mary Jo looking at him.)

MARY JO: Oh. It's short.

(Shot past Mary Jo of Harlan looking at her.)


(Shot past Harlan of Mary Jo looking at him.)

MARY JO: Mary Josephine.

(Shot past Mary Jo of Harlan looking at her. She looks at another scale.)

MARY JO: I bet I weigh a ton on Mars. (Smiles.)

(She passes Harlan and steps on the scale.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): Attention, everybody!

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer in a crowd of students.)

MR. PLENITZER: It's time to assemble. I want you to follow me...(gestures)...to the front lawn.

(He leads students out.)

No doubt about it.

MR. PLENITZER: OK, right this way.

As the moon's orbit...

(Shot of Mary Jo looking at Harlan, who is looking off.)

Drew closer to the sun...

(Mary Jo takes Harlan's hand.)

There was more going on here than simple physics.

MARY JO: Come on, let's get out of here. (Smiles.)

(Mary Jo leads Harlan toward the camera.)

HARLAN: Yeah. I don't want to miss this eclipse.

MARY JO: Trust me. You won't miss it at all.

(She looks at Harlan as they pass a TV display, showing a Saturn rocket blasting off the launch pad.)

GROUND CONTROL: ...zero. We have ***. We have lift-off.


Cut to

Int. Day - Planetarium

(Shot past a column of some display cases.)

I was on a mission of my own.

LOUIS (V/O): Forget it, Arnold.

(Louis walks into the shot, followed by Kevin.)

LOUIS: I work solo. It's a lot cleaner that way.

KEVIN: Well, let me just do something.

(Closer shot of both.)

KEVIN: I mean, it would really help me out with my girlfriend. See, she's got this crazy idea. (Gestures.)

LOUIS: OK, OK. Maybe you could be...like a lookout.

(Louis looks at his watch.)

KEVIN: Great.

LOUIS: But I get to flush.

KEVIN: You got it. (Smiles.)

LOUIS: OK, let's rock 'n roll.

(Sound of clucking chickens.)

Cut to
Ext. Day- Chicken Truck

(Shot of the truck approaching.)

CHUCK (Nervously): So, I guess we're probably getting pretty close to the planetarium.

(Shot through the windshield of both.)

CHUCK: Thanks for picking me up.

(Closer shot through the windshild of Chuck as he giggles and scratches his eyebrow.)

CHUCK: You know what I was thinking about?

(He smiles and scratches his neck.)

CHUCK: You know that Al-Alfred Hitchcock episode? The one where this guy's picking up all these hitchhikers, and...

(Shot of the driver looking at Chuck off-screen.)

CHUCK (V/O): He's got this big butcher knife and he k-

(Shot of Chuck frowning at the driver off-screen as dramatic music starts.)

CHUCK: Never mind. You probably didn't see the episode. Did you? (Frowns.)

(Close shot of the driver looking forward.)

DRIVER: Twenty-seven times. (Smiles.)

(He looks toward Chuck off-screen.)

(Shot of Chuck looking forward and frowning as the music swells and stops.)

(Shot past the driver as Chuck opens the door.)

(Shot from the side of the road as Chuck jumps out of the truck.)

(Shot of Chuck rolling several times down a dirt slope. Sound of a buzzard.)

Cut to
Ext. Day - Planetarium Lawn

(Close shot of some small white cards in various people's hands. The camera pulls back slowly.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): Remember, don't look directly at the sun - look at your cards.

(The group of students surrounds Mr. Plenitzer on the lawn.)

And so with the great event just moments away...

MR. PLENITZER: We are all so lucky to be here. (Gestures.) This is the best viewing spot in the entire state!

Cut to
Planetarium Restroom

(Shot of an empty toilet stall.)

LOUIS (V/O): Here we are, Arnold.

Final preparations were being made.

(Shot of Kevin and Louis.)

LOUIS: Ground zero. (Gestures.) Isn't it beautiful?

One little thing - this wasn't just shoplifting.

KEVIN: Look, Louis...(gestures)...maybe this isn't such a good idea. (Frowns.)

This was ten-to-twenty in the State pen.

LOUIS: What's the matter, Arnold? You chicken?

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Louis off-screen.)

KEVIN: No. Just this whole place...

(Kevin glances up.)

KEVIN: Could blow up or something.

(Shot of Louis looking at Kevin off-screen.)

LOUIS: Yeah, it's a risk.

(He holds up a cherry bomb and lighter.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Louis off-screen.)

That was one way to put it.

KEVIN: Louis, let's forget about it. (Gestures.)

(Shot of Louis as he imitates chicken noises and lights the fuse.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Louis off-screen.)

(Shot of Louis as he holds the burning cherry bomb. He looks toward the sound of the opening door.)

(Shot of Kevin looking toward the door off-screen.)

(Shot of both. The bus-driver is reflected in the mirror as he enters. )

LOUIS: Uh-oh!

(Louis tosses the cherry bomb to Kevin.)

But if I was looking to bail on this whole thing...

(Kevin tosses the cherry bomb to Louis off-screen.)

(Shot of Louis catching it then turning toward the toilet.)

(Close shot of the toilet as Louis drops the cherry bomb in it.)

(Shot of Kevin frowning toward Louis off-screen.)

KEVIN: No, don't! (Gestures.)

(Close shot of the handle as Louis flushes the toilet.)

(Shot of the toilet as it flushes the cherry bomb away.)

I was a tad too late.

(Shot of Louis hurrying toward the door. The camera pans with him as he bumps into the bus-driver, then runs out.)

BUS DRIVER: Hey, come back here!

(The bus-driver exits after Louis.)

(Shot of Kevin looking toward the toilet.)

And realistically speaking, there was about only one thing left to do.

(Shot of the smoking toilet.)

(Shot of Kevin glancing from the toilet toward the door.)

KEVIN: Oh, my God!

(Shot of the door as Kevin hurries past the camera and exits.)

Cut to
Ext. Day - Planetarium Lawn

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer looking at his watch.)

MR. PLENITZER: OK, here it comes.

(High wide shot of students surrounding Mr. Plenitzer.)

MR. PLENITZER: We're going to achieve totality...in twenty, nineteen, eighteen...

(Shot of Harlan coming out of the bushes somewhat dazed.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): Seventeen...

(Shot of Sheila and Cindy looking toward Harlan off-screen.)

CINDY: Oh my God, look at that hickey. (Smiles.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): Sixteen, fifteen...

(Shot of Harlan as Mary Jo emerges from the bushes, also looking dazed.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): Fourteen, thirteen...

Cut to

Int. - Planetarium

(Shot of Kevin running down the hallway.)

Cut to
Ext. Day - Planetarium Lawn

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer and some students looking at the white cards.)

MR. PLENITZER: Ten, nine...

(Shot past Winnie and Alice as Chuck comes out of the bushes at the top of a hill.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): Eight...

CHUCK: Alice! Pooky!

(Shot from behind the girls as they and others turn around.)

(Shot of Chuck.)

CHUCK: I made it!

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): Seven...

(Shot past some men holding cards as Kevin opens the doors and hurries outside and runs down the steps.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): Four...

(High shot of Mr. Plenitzer and studenrs.)

MR. PLENITZER: Three, two, one...

(A big blast is heard, and the camera jiggles.)

(Shot of people as they wobble and look around.)

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer and the kids. The students scream and scatter as the sky dims.)

(Shot of Louis in the middle of a crowd.)

LOUIS: Top of the world, Ma! (Gestures.)

(Shot of an eclipse.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): There it is. A total eclipse!

(Wide shot of Mr. Plenitzer standing alone, looking at his card.)

MR. PLENITZER: Isn't science beautiful?

(Sound of crickets. Mr. Plenitzer looks around and sees no one.)


Cut to
Ext. Day - Planetarium Parking Lot

(Shot from inside the bus, past the driver, of security guards leading Louis away across the parking lot. The camera pans to Mr. Plenitzer in the bus.)

I guess you could say that the laws of nature aren't always predictable.

MR. PLENITZER: Well, not only did you all miss one of the great natural events of the century...(Gestures.)

(Shot of Kevin and Winnie looking at each other.)

MR. PLENITZER (V/O): But the planetarium, I am ashamed to tell you...

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer looking at the students off-screen.)

MR. PLENITZER: Has now decided to ban any future field trips...(gestures)...from McKinley High School.

(Wider shot of the students.)

BOY: Alright...

Still, when it came to matters of cause and effect...

(Shot of Mr. Plenitzer looking at the students off-screen.)

MR. PLENITZER: I hope that you're all...(gestures)...very proud of yourselves.

I think we'd managed to learn a thing or two.

(Mr. Plenitzer takes his front seat.)

Perhaps that day...

(Shot of Harlan smiling at Mary Jo off-screen.)

Despite all the chaos...

(Shot of Mary Jo, Sheila and Cindy looking at Harlan off-screen.)

There really were cosmic forces at work.

SHEILA: I can't believe...you gave him a hickey. (Nods.)

CINDY: That must have been the longest thirty seconds of your life. (Smiles.)

(Sheila and Cindy giggle.)

MARY JO: Shut your face, Cin!

(Shot of Harlan rubbing his neck.)

Forces so powerful...

(Harlan looks forward and smiles slightly.)

So profound...

(Shot of Mary Jo, Sheila and Cindy. Mary Jo smiles slightly at Harlan off-screen.)

They defied all our attempts of rational explanation.

(Shot of the girls. Mary Jo is smiling at Harlan.)

(Shot of Chuck and Alice facing each other in a seat.)

CHUCK: And then, finally...(gestures)...I jumped out of the truck and I ran all the way to the planetarium so that I could see y-

ALICE: Chuck?

(Close shot of Alice looking at Chuck off-screen.)

ALICE: Instead of making up these idiotic stories, just be a man for once and say that you're sorry.

(Close shot of Chuck looking at Alice off-screen.)

CHUCK: But I-I, I mean I did. I...

(Close shot of Alice shaking her head at Chuck off-screen.)

(Close shot of Chuck looking at Alice off-screen, then looking down.)

CHUCK: I'm sorry, Pooky.

(He looks at her off-screen.)

(Close shot of Alice looking at Chuck off-screen.)

ALICE: I forgive you, Pooh Bear. (Smiles.)

I mean, hey...

(Close shot of Chuck smiling at Alice off-screen.)

It had taken only five-thousand years...

(They hug.)

To understand the moon...

(Shot of Kevin and Winnie.)

KEVIN: Winnie?

So, maybe, we were making progress...

(Kevin glances at her hat.)

KEVIN: About today...

(Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WINNIE: Kevin, I paid for the hat. (Nods.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Winnie off-screen.)

KEVIN: I knew that. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Winnie smiling at Kevin off-screen as he puts his arm around her.)

(Shot of both as they smile at each other and snuggle. Music "Truckin'" plays.)

Cut to

The Road

(Shot of the bus going down the road.)

Then again, when it came right down to it, maybe we all learned enough for one day.


Supporting Cast
Mr. Plenitzer - Timothy Stack
Mary Jo Genaro - A.J. Langer
Harlan Abramson - Trenton Teigen
Louis Lanahan - Gregor Hesse
Cindy - Alicia Bergman
Sheila - Devon Odessa
Chuck Coleman - Andrew Mark Berman
Alice Pedermeir - Lindsay Sloane

"Truckin'" - Grateful Dead

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Episode Info
Wonder Years Menu

04/4/05 17:35