"Daddy's Little Girl" - Episode 45
Opening Sequence
("Thank Heaven For Little Girls" - Maurice Chevalier starts. Home movie clip of an old-style bus pulling to the curb. The door opens and Jack steps out in his Marine uniform, carrying his dufflebag. He smiles, and the camera pans 180 degrees to Norma holding a baby, then back to Jack.)
From the moment a father first lays eyes on his daughter...
(Jack tosses his duffle bag down and holds Karen, who is crying.)
She's forever daddy's little girl.
"Thank heaven, for little girls"
(Cut to clip of a young Karen (about 8 YO) wearing a paper crown reading "Happy Birthday". Jack and young Wayne are next to her.)
And he's forever her hero.
"For little girls get bigger everyday"
(The camera pulls back as Karen opens a present, Wayne blows a party favor, and Kevie looks on.)
A giver of gifts.
(Shot of Norma approaching from the kitchen carrying a birthday cake.)
"Thank heaven for little girls"
(Shot of Jack blowing on the candles, then Karen blowing on them.)
A granter of wishes.
"They grow up in the most delightful way"
(Karen blows out the candles and smiles as everyone claps.)
(Close shot of Jack holding a plate of birthday cake as Karen takes a forkful.)
A knight in shining armor.
"Those little eyes so helpless and appealing"
(Jack feeds her a bite from his fork.)
(Shot of Karen covering her eyes as Jack pulls a large stuffed bear from behind his chair.)
And in return...
"One day will flash and send you crashing through the ceiling"
(Karen uncovers her eyes, smiles excitedly and hugs Jack.)
She gives to him that love and respect...
(Shot of Karen hugging the bear and smiling at the camera.)
Which is special between dads and their girls.
"Thank heaven...for...little -"
Cut to
Int. Day - Arnold Kitchen
(Close shot of Karen frowning as she opens her napkin.)
KAREN: I can't stand living in this house.
(Close shot of Jack frowning at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Well, where the hell were you last night?
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN (V/O): Look...
(They look toward Karen off-screen.)
KAREN (V/O): Will you stop giving me the third degree?
(Close shot of Karen frowning as she opens her napkin and shakes it.)
Of course, for my sister and my father...
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking toward each other.)
That special love and respect took the form of...
(Shot from behind Kevin and Wayne. Norma is at the stove in the background.)
JACK: I waited up half the night.
KAREN: Well, you don't have to wait up for me.
(Norma wipes her hands quickly on a towel as she looks toward the table.)
Guerrilla warfare.
(Norma crosses to the refrigerator.)
JACK: I left the damn porchlight on until all hours.
(Close shot of Karen looking down and frowning as she eats.)
JACK (V/O): Do you have any idea how much that costs?
(She looks at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: Sorry - take it out of my allowance.
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking toward each other.)
But the week of my sister's birthday...
(Close shot of Jack frowning at Karen off-screen.)
They brought out the heavy artillery.
JACK: Your curfew is eleven. You want to be grounded?
(Close shot of Karen as she drops her fork and frowns at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: I don't believe this! (Gestures.) I'm eighteen!
(Close shot of Jack frowning at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Not until Sunday, you're not!
(Shot from behind Kevin and Wayne. Norma is at the stove in the background.)
During that week, Mom was sort of like the UN...
(Jack takes a sip of coffee as Norma approaches with a plate.)
Trying to mediate the warring factions.
(Close shot of Norma looking toward Jack off-screen.)
NORMA: Boysenberry syrup?
(She looks around the table and smiles slightly.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen.)
And failing miserably.
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Karen looking toward him.)
KAREN: Why is he always on my case?
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Karen off-screen.)
KEVIN: Well, uh...
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Jack looking toward him.)
JACK: Why can't she ever listen? (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen.)
Me? I was kinda like...
KEVIN: Uh...
Switzerland.
(Kevin frowns and looks toward Norma off-screen.)
(Close shot of Norma looking around the table.)
NORMA: Can't we just...eat our breakfast in peace?
(Close shot of of Karen looking incredulously at Norma off-screen.)
(Sound of a car horn outside. Karen starts to stand up.)
(Shot from behind Kevin and Wayne as Karen starts to walk toward the kitchen.)
JACK: Now where are you going?
(Close shot of Karen looking toward Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: To school...
(Karen makes a little face and exits.)
(Close shot of Jack looking down and frowning.)
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne as they slowly look at each other.)
As for Wayne and myself, we'd learned to keep a low profile...
(Wayne nods slightly at Kevin and they start to rise.)
During these skirmishes.
JACK (V/O): Kevin - Wayne...
(Close shot of Jack.)
JACK: Clean up the dishes...(gestures)...take out the garbage.
(Jack starts to rise.)
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking at each other as Jack exits across the shot.)
Because you never knew when you might get hit by a stray bullet.
(They straighten up and sigh.)
(Shot from behind Jack as he turns around quickly.)
JACK: And Kevin...I want those leaves raked and bagged tomorrow.
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen, then looking down and sighing.)
(Shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)
WAYNE: Your turn to wash, butthead!
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Wayne off-screen.)
The fact was, whenever Dad had an axe to grind with Karen...
(Kevin looks off and makes a face.)
He ended up grinding it on us.
Cut to
Int. Day - Classroom
(Close shot of a pencil sharpener as Kevin sharpens a pencil.)
WINNIE (V/O): Kevin? You might want to leave some of that pencil.
(Shot of Winnie and Kevin as Kevin looks up from the sharpener.)
KEVIN: Oh...sorry.
(Kevin hands the pencil to Winnie.)
Not that I was gonna let family problems interfere with my social life.
(Winnie hands Kevin another pencil. He starts to sharpen it.)
WINNIE: Kevin, is something wrong?
(Kevin glances away then stops sharpening and looks at Winnie.)
KEVIN: Winnie, I can't go to the movies with you tomorrow afternoon.
WINNIE: Oh...
(Kevin rolls his eyes and nods.)
KEVIN: My dad's making me work in the yard, cuz he's mad at Karen again.
(Wide shot of both as they approach the camera as the bell rings.)
WINNIE: Oh. Well, that's too bad.
(They walk down the aisle to their seats.)
You bet it was. Anyone with half a brain would agree that -
(They sit down and look toward each other.)
KEVIN: Your dad's being pretty hard on Karen.
(Kevin frowns slightly as Winnie looks at her open notebook.)
Chicks always stick together.
KEVIN: Winnie, isn't it a little unfair? (Nods.)
(Shot past Kevin of Winnie.)
KEVIN: Karen stays out all night, and I end up raking leaves.
WINNIE: Yeah, it is unfair.
(Winnie looks off.)
WINNIE: Karen's too old to have a curfew.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Winnie off-screen.)
KEVIN: No she's not. She's only eighteen.
(Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen.)
WINNIE: Eighteen's an adult.
(Close shot of Kevin sighing at Winnie off-screen.)
Fine.
(Kevin looks at his book.)
Throw the law in my face.
(Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen.)
WINNIE: She'll be in college next year.
(Close shot of Kevin looking up toward Winnie off-screen.)
KEVIN: So what's that mean? (Gestures.)That she doesn't have to listen to my father anymore? (Nods.)
(Close shot of Winnie looking at Kevin off-screen.)
WINNIE: Well, does he ever listen to her?
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Winnie off-screen.)
KEVIN: Yeah...(frowns)...of course! (Shrugs.)
(Kevin looks at his book and shakes his head slightly, then looks at WInnie off-screen.)
JACK (V/O): I'm not listenin' to this.
Cut to
Int. - Living Room
(Close shot of Jack looking at a paper and frowning.)
JACK: No grades...no exams...
(Close shot of Karen sitting at the table.)
KAREN: Daddy, it's a very good school.
(Close shot of Jack frowning.)
JACK: The hell kinda college is that?
(Close shot of Kevin appraoching, holding a leaf-rake.)
But it wasn't that Dad didn't listen.
(Kevin pauses.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Karen and Norma seated at the table, and JAck standing behind Norma, resting against the chairback.)
He listened - he just didn't like what he heard.
(Karen sets a catalog down and gestures.)
KAREN: Will you please tell him this isn't the Stone Age anymore.
JACK: What's that supposed to mean?
(Norma looks over her shoulder at Jack.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)
The thing is, I was beginning to see a pattern.
(Close shot of Karen looking toward a catalog on the table.)
Whenever Karen said one thing...
KAREN: Well...
(Karen looks at Jack quickly, then back to the catalog.)
KAREN: This is where I'm going. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
Dad said the other.
JACK: Not while I'm paying for it. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Karen looking toward the table.)
And vice versa.
KAREN: Fine.
(She looks toward Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: Then I won't go to college.
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Oh, you're goin' alright. (Gestures.) And I'm sendin' you. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of of Norma as she looks at a catalog.)
NORMA: State has a lovely campus.
(She looks toward Karen off-screen.)
(Close shot of Karen leaning forward slightly and looking at the catalog.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)
KEVIN: Ahem. Excuse me. (Smiles.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective as they slowly look toward him.)
Armed with my new-found observations...
(Close shot of Kevin glancing off.)
About the nature of interpersonal communication, it was time to come to the rescue.
KEVIN: It seems to me that you two should -
KAREN (V/O): Kevin...
(Close shot of Karen looking toward Kevin off-screen.)
KAREN: Stay out of this. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Kevin glancing off.)
OK.
(Kevin starts to walk off.)
Glad I could be of help.
(Close shot of Jack looking at Kevin off-screen.)
JACK: Wait a minute. (Gestures.)
(Close shot of Kevin pausung and looking toward Jack as he approaches.)
At least...as a visual aid.
(Jack grabs Kevin around the shoulder and turns him around.)
JACK: Your brother's goin' to college, your other brother's goin' to college...and you're...(points)...goin' to college.
(Jack slaps Kevin on the shoulder.)
(Close shot of Karen looking toward Kevin off-screen.)
KAREN: Thanks.
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Karen off-screen.)
KEVIN: Hey - I didn't do -
KAREN (V/O): Well, maybe I'll travel.
(Shot of Norma and Karen at the table.)
KAREN: See the world. Go to the college of life.
(Karen looks at a catalog on the table.)
(Shot of Kevin and Jack as Jack smiles at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Huh - what do you know about life?
(Close shot of Karen looking toward Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: I know plenty about life.
(She looks at the catalog and shrugs, then at looks at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: I'll go to Europe.
(Shot of Kevin and Jack as Jack frowns, then approaches and passes the camera.)
JACK: And who's gonna pay for that?
(Shot past Kevin of the group at the table. Kevin turns and approaches the camera.)
In a way, you almost had a feeling they didn't wanna be rescued.
KAREN: You are so...narrow-minded.
JACK: Watch yourself young lady. (Gestures.)
(Kevin pauses and looks over his shoulder at them in the distance.)
The funny thing is, the closer it got to Karen's birthday...
KAREN: I'm the one who's gonna go to this school...
The worse it got.
Cut to
Kevin and Wayne's Bedroom
(Close shot of Kevin lying on top of his bed, writing on a notepad.)
For all of us.
(Jack and Karen can be heard arguing in the background.)
(Kevin turns toward Wayne off-screen.)
KEVIN: Think it's safe to go out?
(Wide shot of Wayne lying face-down on his bed looking at a magazine, and Kevin behind him on his bed.)
WAYNE: I wouldn't. Unless you want to clean out the downspouts.
Sound reasoning. It seemed like every time Dad and Karen passed each other in the hall...it meant -
(Knock on the door. Wayne looks quickly toward it.)
(Shot of the door as Jack opens it and leans on the jamb.)
JACK: Boys...
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen and sitting up.)
More slave labor.
(Shot of Wayne and Kevin.)
KEVIN: Dad - I raked the leaves.
WAYNE: I straightened out the garage. (Gestures.)
KEVIN: I walked the dog!
(Close shot of Jack looking at them off-screen.)
JACK: Oh.
(Jack glances off.)
There. We'd stumped him.
(Shot of Wayne and Kevin as Wayne turns to him and nods.)
Not a chore left unchored.
(Close shot of Jack looking at them off-screen.)
JACK: In that case...(nods directionally)...come on. (Frowns.)
(Jack starts to walk away.)
Uh-oh.
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne as Wayne sighs and drops his head.)
This did not bode well.
(Wayne looks toward Kevin as they close their books.)
If Dad couldn't make us work...
Cut to
Ext. Day - Golf Course
(Low shot of Jack taking a golf club from the bag.)
He was gonna make us play.
(Jack holds the club toward the camera and adjusts his grip.)
JACK: OK...let's hit a few.
(Shot past Jack of Kevin and Wayne looking at each other.)
Golf.
(Wayne sighs and puts his hand on his hip as they look toward Jack off-screen.)
Talk about punishment.
(Shot from Kevin's perspective as Jack takes a practice swing.)
Now we were gonna find out just how bad the argument had been.
(Closer shot of Jack looking down as he swings.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective as Jack hits the ball. Some dramtic music plays.)
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne watching Jack off-screen. Wayne makes a little face.)
(Close shot of a ball on the tee as it is hit.)
(Close shot of Jack swinging.)
(Wider shot from in front of Jack as he swings again.)
(Close shot of a ball on the tee as it is hit.)
(Closer shot of Jack looking down as he swings.)
(Close shot of a ball on the tee.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective as Jack hits the ball.)
(Shot of the 200-yard marker as the ball drops onto the grass among many other balls.)
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne watching Jack off-screen.)
Yep - must have been a doozie.
(They frown slightly, and Wayne passes the camera.)
JACK (V/O): Your turn, Kev.
(Shot of Jack as he smiles and points toward the tee.)
JACK: Let's see your stance.
(Close shot of Kevin looking off and frowning slightly.)
(Shot of Kevin, Jack and Wayne. Wayne hits his ball as Kevin gets set.)
JACK: Ah, nah...
(Jack approaches Kevin.)
JACK: Not like that.
(Jack reaches around Kevin and adjusts his hands.)
(Closer shot of Kevin and Jack's hands on the club.)
Still, maybe this wasn't all bad.
JACK (V/O): You gotta turn your grip over...
Maybe hanging out with the guys...imparting secret grips...
(Shot past Kevin looking over his shoulder as Jack backs away.)
Was just the thing to bring Dad's blood-pressure down.
JACK: You got it?
(Kevin looks at the ball.)
KEVIN: I think so.
(Shot of the ball on the tee.)
(Wider shot of Kevin swinging.)
(Shot of the ball as it is hit.)
(Shot of Kevin and Jack as Kevin makes his follow-through. They lkok after the ball.)
JACK: Hey...
(Shot of the 125-yard marker as the ball drops onto the grass among many other balls.)
JACK (V/O): There ya go!
(Shot of Kevin and Jack as they get set again.)
I guess it was easier for Dad to communicate with the Arnold men because we were, well...men.
(They each swing and hit their ball.)
(Shot of Wayne tossing up a ball and trying to hit it "baseball" fashion.)
(Wider shot of Kevin and Jack as they swing again.)
(Shot of the 200-yard marker as balls drop onto the grass among many other balls.)
Uh-huh. Nothin' like whackin' around the old Pro-flite...
Fade to
"Later"
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne as they put their clubs in the bag. Jack is swinging in the background.)
To forge new and lasting bonds.
(Jack turns slowly, examining the head of his club, then approaches the boys.)
JACK: Maybe we oughta get you guys a starter set.
(Wayne frowns and makes a face.)
WAYNE: Oh, no thanks!
(Kevin pushes Wayne on the shoulder.)
KEVIN: Shut up!
(Close shot of Kevin smiling at Jack off-screen, then glancing toward Wayne and back.)
A small price to pay for a little good cheer.
(Close shot of Jack raising his eye-brows and smiling tightly at Kevin off-screen.)
JACK: Matter of fact, maybe we'll come again. Maybe bring your mom, maybe your sis.
(Wayne laughs and Jack turns toward him off-screen.)
(Close shot of Wayne smiling.)
WAYNE: Karen?
(Wayne waggles his fingers next to his head.)
WAYNE: Space-girl playin' golf? (Laughs.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Wayne off-screen.)
JACK: Hey...leave you sister alone. (Nods.) She's not so bad. She means well.
(Shot of Wayne as he makes a face.)
Well, well - "not so bad"?
(Wayne looks toward Kevin off-screen.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen.)
"Means well"? Why couldn't he tell her that?
(Close shot of Jack looking at Wayne off-screen.)
JACK: Come on...
(Jack lifts his club and looks at Kevin off-screen.)
JACK: Let's hit another bucket.
(Wider shot of them as Jack walks away toward the tee. Kevin and Wayne take a club from the bag and turn toward Jack as he swings.)
Cut to
Int. Evening - Arnold Living Room
(Wide shot of Norma in the chair, and Karen and Kevin on the couch watching TV as Jack approaches from the hallway.)
Still, it was too bad Karen wasn't Arnold Palmer.
(Jack points toward Karen.)
JACK: Pass me the popcorn, huh?
KAREN: Sure, Dad.
(Close shot of Jack smiling and winking slightly at Karen off-screen.)
(Close shot of Karen smiling at Jack off-screen.)
Because I hadn't seen Dad this calm in over a week.
(Close shot of Norma looking at Jack off-screen, then toward the TV and smiling slightly.)
(Shot of Kevin and Jack looking at the TV off-screen. Jack smiles and points.)
JACK: I like this show.
(Close shot of Karen looking toward the TV as she holds some popcorn.)
KAREN: Me, too.
(Shot of Kevin and Jack as Jack looks toward Karen off-screen. Kevin looks at Jack.)
KEVIN: Me, too. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Karen looking toward Kevin off-screen.)
Yep - this was just like old times.
(She smiles slightly and looks toward the TV.)
(Shot of Karen, Kevin and Jack as Wayne approaches from the hallway.)
WAYNE: So, Mom? (Gestures.) We gonna have a birthday cake...
(Close shot of Norma looking slightly surprised.)
WAYNE (V/O): For Karen?
KAREN (V/O): A cake?
(Norma looks toward Karen off-screen.)
(Close shot of Karen looking toward Norma off-screen and shaking her head slightly.)
KAREN: I don't want a cake.
(Shot of Kevin and Jack as Jack looks toward Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Sure you do.
(Close shot of Karen looking toward Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: No really, I don't.
(Karen glances toward Norma then Jack, and gestures.)
KAREN: I-I don't want a party either.
(Close shot of Norma looking toward Karen off-screen.)
NORMA: Oh, honey, it's not exactly...
JACK (V/O): What are you talkin' about?
(Close shot of Jack looking toward Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Sure you do - you like parties.
(Close shot of Karen turning toward Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: No, really, Dad, I don't.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Karen off-screen.)
JACK (V/O): Fine.
(Kevin looks toward Jack off-screen.)
JACK (V/O): Then we won't have a party.
(Kevin looks forward.)
KAREN (V/O): Good.
(Close shot of Jack looking forward.)
JACK: We'll just give you your presents. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Karen looking toward Norma, then Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: I don't want presents, either. (Frowns.) So nobody get me a present, OK?
(Close shot of Kevin glancing off.)
Golf, anyone?
(He looks toward Jack.)
(Close shot of Jack frowning at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: You're gonna get presents. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Karen looking toward Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: Well, I'm not gonna take 'em! (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Jack frowning at Karen off-screen.)
(A car horn sounds outside.)
WAYNE: Woops - homework calls...
(Wayne walks toward the hallway and Karen rises and walks past the couch.)
KAREN: I'm going out.
JACK: In that? (Frowns.)
(Karen pauses and turns around toward Jack. she sighs heavily and gestures with both arms.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: My clothes are wrong?
(Karen looks toward Norma off-screen.)
KAREN: My friends are wrong? (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Norma looking concerned.)
(Shot of Kevin and Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
OK - we were one step shy of Armageddon.
(Kevin looks away.)
(Shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen.)
This called for a voice of reason.
(Shot past Jack of Kevin. Jack is looking over his shoulder toward Karen off-screen.)
A note of conciliation.
(Kevin looks past Jack toward Karen off-screen and gestures.)
KEVIN: Will you guys knock it off? I'm tryin' to watch TV!
(Jack turns toward Kevin. Kevin meets his glance on looks off.)
(Shot of Karen looking at Jack, then Norma off-screen.)
KAREN: I'm outta here.
(Karen walks toward the door.)
(Shot past Jack of Kevin. Jack is looking over his shoulder toward Karen off-screen.)
(Close shot of Norma looking concerned.)
NORMA: Honey?
(Wider shot of Karen getting her bag, then looking at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: And you don't have to bother to leave the light on. (Frowns.) I'll manage just fine.
(Karen exits.)
(Shot past Jack of Kevin as Jack looks forward. Kevin glances at him.)
(Close shot of Norma looking toward the door, concerned.)
(Shot of Kevin and Jack, both looking off.)
JACK: Tomorrow? (Frowns.)
(They look at each other slowly.)
JACK: Mow the lawn.
KEVIN: Gotcha...
(Twang of Snuffy's guitar as Jack looks forward and puts a piece of popcorn in his mouth.)
Gotcha.
(Kevin sighs and looks off.)
Fade to
Kevin and Wayne's Bedroom
(Shot past Wayne on his bed of Kevin on his bed. Both are reading. Sound of a slamming door. Kevin looks toward the sound. There is another slamming door, and the boys look at each other.)
I guess you could say my sister's eighteenth birthday started off with a bang.
(Sound of slamming doors. Kevin looks toward the sound, then his magazine.)
Still, there was a bright side to the war between Dad and Karen.
(Kevin glances toward Wayne, who slowly turns toward him.)
It had brought my brother and me...
(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)
WAYNE: What are you looking at?
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)
Closer together.
KEVIN: Nothing. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)
WAYNE: Well, look somewhere else. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)
KEVIN: Hey...this is a free country. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)
WAYNE: Get lost, wiil ya, scrote?
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)
KEVIN: I can't get lost. (Gestures.)
(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)
WAYNE: Butthead!
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)
KEVIN: Dork! (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen, then at his book.)
(Shot past Wayne as Kevin gets up and walks toward the door.)
We were like rats in a laboratory experiment. And the worst thing was...
(Kevin opens the door. Jack is standing in the background, and turns toward Kevin. Kevin hurriedly closes the door and turns around.)
There was no way out.
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Wayne holding up a magazine and unfolding the centerfold.)
WAYNE: Oh...
(Shot of Kevin at the door, frowning at Wayne off-screen.)
On the other hand, maybe it was time to deal with this thing.
(Kevin frowns and opens the door.)
(Shot from the hallway of Kevin looking toward the living room.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective as Jack sighs and sits on the couch, opening a TV guide.)
WAYNE (V/O): Oh!
(Shot from the hallway of Kevin looking over his shoulder toward Wayne off-screen.)
Anything was better than spending the morning with Wayne and Miss May.
(Kevin looks toward Jack off-screen.)
KEVIN: Dad?
(Shot from Kevin's perspective as Jack turns over his shoulder slightly and looks at Kevin.)
JACK: Hmmm?
Besides, you could kinda see...
(Jack thumbs through the TV guide.)
He wanted to talk.
(Shot of Kevin approaching the camera, then pausing.)
KEVIN: Dad, is there anything I can do?
(Closer shot from Kevin's perspective as Jack pauses and frowns.)
KEVIN (V/O): I mean, I know you and Karen have been...
(Jack turns over his shoulder and looks at Kevin.)
(Shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)
KEVIN: Well...I mean, I've just been thinking...if you ever wanted someone to talk to...
(Shot of Jack frowning at Kevin off-screen.)
KEVIN (V/O): I just want you to know that...
(Shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)
KEVIN: I'm here. (Smiles.)
(Shot of Jack looking off.)
It was a bold move. But I knew it was the right one. Heck - you could almost see his eyes...
(Jack looks toward Kevin off-screen.)
Welling up with gratitude.
JACK: Kev?
(Shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)
KEVIN: Yeah, Dad? (Smiles.)
(Shot of Jack frowning at Kevin off-screen.)
JACK: Is there any more dip in the refrigerator?
(Shot of Kevin pausing and looking off.)
KEVIN: I'll see. (Smiles.)
(The camera pulls back as Kevin walks past Jack toward the kitchen.)
JACK: And grab the chips while you're at it, 'kay?
(Kevin pauses and frowns, then approaches the camera.)
Which, in culinary terms meant...none of your damn business, I guess.
(Kevin walks past the camera as Karen enters from the hallway.)
KAREN: Well, I'm outta here.
(Kevin turns around at the edge of the frame.)
JACK: Wait a minute.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Karen off-screen.)
JACK (V/O): Where're you goin'?
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: I don't know.
(Close shot of Jack looking over his shoulder at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: What does that mean?
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: It means what it means. (Frowns.) I'm going out.
(Close shot of Jack looking over his shoulder at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: You're gonna be home for dinner - we're expecting you. Your mother's makin' a cake.
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: Well, I already told her not to.
(Karen walks toward the door.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
(Close shot of Karen looking over her shoulder at Jack off-screen as she opens the door and exits.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Karen off-screen.)
(Close shot of Jack as he sighs, then looks at Kevin off-screen.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)
And suddenly, Dad was downright talkative.
(Shot past Kevin of Jack.)
JACK: Get your brother. (Nods.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at JAck off-screen.)
Aw, jeez.
(Kevin looks off, a little worried.)
This was bad.
(Kevin looks toward Jack off-screen.)
You could see Dad had something in mind even worse than working.
(Close shot of Jack frowning at Kevin off-screen.)
Even worse than golf.
JACK: We're going shopping.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)
Cut to
Int. Day - Department Store
(Shot from the top of the stairs toward the store below as Wayne and Kevin pass the camera.)
JACK: OK - split up.
(Jack passes the camera and the boys turn toward him.)
JACK: Find a gift for your sister, and we'll meet back here in fifteen minutes.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)
Sure.
(Kevin glances off and looks toward Wayne off-screen.)
Fifteen minutes sounded like an adequate amount of time...
(Close shot of Wayne frowning at Jack off-screen.)
For thoughtful purchase.
WAYNE: I don't get it. I thought Karen said she doesn't want any presents.
(Close shot of Jack glancing up toward Wayne off-screen.)
JACK: She doesn't know what she wants.
(Wide shot of all from behind Jack.)
WAYNE: But -
(Jack hands Wayne a bill.)
JACK: Here's twenty bucks.
(Jack walks past them.)
WAYNE: Roger.
(Wayne smiles and snaps the bill open a few times.)
KEVIN: So, what are we gonna get her? (Smiles.)
(Wayne looks past Kevin and smiles. The camera pans with him as he walks past Kevin to a shelf, picks up an aerosol can, and turns to Kevin.)
WAYNE: Bug spray.
(Wayne laughs as he turns and walks away down an aisle, and Kevin turns toward the camera.)
Well, I was on my own, here. The only problem was, I had no idea where to start.
(Very close shot of a wind-up xylophone-playing toy. The camera pulls back, revealing Kevin at the edge of the shelf, watching it.)
It seemed like the old standby's just weren't...right this year.
(Kevin turns toward the camera.)
(Shot of Wayne playing with a toy rifle. He spots Kevin, aims and shoots at him, smiling.)
(Wider shot of Kevin approaching the camera though the furniture department.)
Something told me she wasn't quite ready for the royal walnut, solid-veneer dinette set.
(Close shot of Kevin as he walks past the furniture. He pauses and puts his hands in his jacket pockets, and looks off past the camera.)
(Shot from behind Kevin as he slowly walks down an aisle, running his finger on the edge of a shelf.)
I needed something special. Something for someone turning eighteen - whatever that meant.
(Kevin lifts the cover of a notebook.)
(Fade to a shot of Kevin slowly walking up an aisle, running his finger on the edge of a shelf.)
With two shopping minutes left, I was beginning to lose hope.
(Kevin picks up a stuffed frog from the display at the end of the aisle. The camera pans slightly to include Jack standing in the far corner of the store looking at something he is hiolding.)
I guess Dad was, too.
(Kevin sets the frog down and hurriedly backs up out of the shot.)
(Jack shrugs, sets the item on the shelf and quickly walks off.)
(Shot of Kevin at the cashier as he takes his change from the smiling clerk. He slides a small brown bag along the counter as he approaches the camera with pans with him. Wayne is at the end of the counter, blocking the way with his arm over a postal-stamp vending machine, holding the bug spray.)
WAYNE: What's that? (Gestures.)
(Shot past Wayne of Kevin.)
KEVIN: None of your business! (Frowns.)
(Shot past Kevin of Wayne.)
WAYNE: Come on - I'm just askin'!
(Shot past Wayne of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Well...(Smiles.)
(Kevin reaches into the bag and pulls out small black diary.)
KEVIN: It was kind of expensive.
(Shot past Kevin of Wayne. Jack is in the background.)
KEVIN: But...
WAYNE: Great! (Smiles.) Well, put my name on it, too.
(Wayne sets the bug spray on the counter and looks at Kevin, then walks away toward Jack, who turns away. Kevin follows.)
KEVIN: So, Dad? What'd you get her? (Smiles.)
(Jack turns slightly toward Kevin.)
JACK: Hmmm?
(Close shot of Kevin smiling at Jack off-screen.)
(Close shot of Jack looking blankly at Kevin off-screen and hesitating.)
JACK: Nothin'.
(Jack shakes his head slightly and walks off.)
(Close shot of Kevin frowning slightly.)
KEVIN: Oh. (Frowns.)
Cut to
Int. Evening - Jack and Norma's Bedroom
(Shot past Kevin just inside the door, of Norma sitting on the bed and Jack hanging up his coat.)
NORMA: Nothing?
JACK: Nope.
(Jack walks to the closet and looks on the top shelf.)
NORMA: Well, we have plenty of things to give her. So don't worry.
JACK: I'm not.
(Close shot of Kevin holding the brown bag, looking at Jack off-screen.)
But I was. Dad always bought Karen a present.
(Kevin glances off.)
Every year...
(Shot past Kevin as Jack approaches.)
Without fail.
(Jack frowns at Kevin and gestures.)
JACK: There's trash in the kitchen - take it out.
(Jack passes the camera.)
(Shot past Kevin of Jack walking away into the hallway.)
JACK: Wayne!
(Kevin looks forward and glances off.)
And suddenly I began to realize this was more serious than I'd thought.
Cut to
Ext. Day - Driveway
(Wide shot from the house of Karen sitting against the garage door.)
(Shot of the kitchen door as Kevin opens it and steps outside, carrying a bag of trash.)
(Close shot of Karen glancing up.)
(Shot of Kevin as he steps forward.)
(Shot of Karen as Kevin passes the camera and approaches the trashcans.)
KAREN: What's that?
KEVIN: What's it look like?
KAREN: Is that cuz of me?
KEVIN: Kinda.
(Kevin stops at the trashcan.)
KAREN: It figures.
(Closer shot of Kevin as he opens a trashcan and drops the bag into it.)
It was the longest conversation we'd had in...oh, about a year!
(Kevin looks toward Karen off-screen, and rests on the trashcan.)
KEVIN: So...you coming to your party?
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Karen looking down.)
KAREN: I don't know yet.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
KEVIN: Well, I mean, Mom's baked a cake...
(Kevin looks toward the house off-screen.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Karen looking toward him.)
KAREN: Who cares about a stupid cake?
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
OK - so much for helpful advice.
(Kevin shrugs slightly and heads toward the house.)
(Wider shot of both as Kevin approaches the camera.)
I knew when to keep my mouth shut.
(Shot from behind Kevin as he pauses at the door.)
KEVIN: Look, Karen...
(He turns and looks at Karen off-screen.)
KEVIN: You and Dad really have to have a talk.
(Close shot of Karen looking down.)
KEVIN (V/O): You know that.
(Karen glances up and shakes her head.)
KAREN: I don't think so.
(She looks down again.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
KEVIN: No, really! You're always mad at him. I mean, do you always have to be so hard on him?
(Close shot of Karen looking up at Kevin off-screen.)
KAREN: Sorry.
(Close shot of Kevin sighing and looking off, then looking at her off-screen.)
KEVIN: I think you oughtta come to the party.
(Close shot of Karen looking at Kevin off-screen.)
KAREN: Why?
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
Was this chick dense, or what?
KEVIN: Come on, Karen. (Shrugs.) Can't you just give in this once?
And the funny thing is, right up until the moment I said it...
KEVIN: I mean, it's not like you're gonna be here next year.
(Close shot of Karen quickly looking up and frowning at Kevin off-screen.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
I guess I'd never really believed it.
(Close shot of Karen glancing off, then looking at Kevin off-screen.)
Maybe Karen didn't either.
(Karen stands up.)
KAREN: Well, thanks for the insight.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
And suddenly...
(Wide shot of Karen putting her hands in her pockets and looking down.)
She looked so...lost.
(She approaches the camera.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
KEVIN: Karen?
(Shot of Karen pausing.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
I knew she needed answers. About the future. About her life.
(Close shot of Karen looking at him off-screen.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
Unfortunately, I didn't have the answers.
(Close shot of Karen looking at him off-screen.)
Or even the questions.
(Karen walks past the camera.)
(Wider shot of Kevin as Karen walks down the driveway in the background. Kevin sighs and turns toward the door.)
Cut to
Int. Evening - Arnold Dining Room
(Shot of Jack, Kevin, Wayne and Norma seated at the dining room table as they pick at their food. Wayne wears a birthday hat.)
That night, dinner lasted about six-and-a-half months.
NORMA: Can I get anybody some more potatoes?
(Kevin and Wayne glance at each other.)
KEVIN: No, thanks.
WAYNE: Sure!
(Close shot of Norma rising with a bowl, and heading toward the kitchen.)
While Mom tried to fill the empty space with vegetables and starch...
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne as Wayne blows a party favor at Kevin.)
The rest of us waited.
(Close shot of Jack scowling at the boys off-screen.)
For the inevitable explosion.
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne as Wayne sets the party favor down. Sound of a door closing, and the boys look toward the kitchen.)
(Shot through the doorway of Norma as Karen passes her and approaches the camera.)
KAREN: I'm back!
(Close shot of Jack looking off, frowning.)
(Close shot of Karen as she stands behind her chair.)
KAREN: But I can't stay.
(Close shot of Jack as he drops his fork down and put his hands together.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen.)
(Close shot of Karen looking toward Jack off-screen, then away.)
(Shot of Norma leaning against the doorway.)
NORMA: Not even for cake and ice cream, honey? (Smiles.)
(Shot of Karen looking toward Norma off-screen.)
KAREN: Mom...I told you - I don't want a cake.
(Close shot of Jack as he clears his throat and reaches for his napkin.)
NORMA (V/O): It's too late...I'm lighting the candles right now.
(Shot of Norma in the kitchen, lighting the candles. She straightens up and looks toward Kevin off-screen.)
NORMA: Kevin, honey - get the lights.
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne as Wayne nudges him slightly.)
(Wider shot of all as Kevin rises, walks toward the doorway, and dims the lights.)
Well, the stage was set. Bring on the fireworks.
(Norma approaches with the cake.)
NORMA: OK - here it comes. Everybody sing...
(Close shot of Karen resting her head on her hand, looking upset.)
NORMA (V/O): "Happy birthday to you"
(Shot of Kevin and Norma looking at each other as Kevin and Wayne join in.)
(Close shot of Jack with his arms crossed on the table, looking forward silently.)
ALL: "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday...
(Close shot of Norma approaching with the cake.)
ALL: "Dear Karen"
(Norma starts to set the cake down.)
ALL (V/O): "Happy birthday to you"
(Close shot of Karen leaning back as Norma sets the cake in front of her.)
(Shot of the cake and a few small presents.)
There it was. Eighteen years of hopes and memories poured into eighty ounces of egg-whites and sugar and wax.
(Close shot of Kevin smiling.)
It was enough to melt anybody's heart.
(Shot of Norma smiling at Karen off-screen as Kevin stands in the background.)
(Close shot of Karen looking down, uninterestedly.)
Except maybe my sister's.
(Sound of a car horn outside.)
(Karen glances over her shoulder, then smiles quickly at Norma off-screen.)
KAREN: There's my ride.
(Karen looks down as she stands up.)
KAREN: I gotta go.
(Shot of Norma looking at Karen off-screen as Kevin stands in the background.)
And I guess that was the straw...
(Close shot of Wayne looking toward Jack off-screen.)
That broke the camel's back.
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen.)
(Close shot of Jack.)
JACK: Not so fast.
(He stands up quickly and looks at Karen off-screen. The camera moves in slightly.)
JACK: You're stayin' here.
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: No, I'm not.
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Yes, you are. (Nods slightly.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: I'm leaving, Daddy.
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Karen off-screen, then glancing away.)
And even though I'd been hearing those words for weeks...suddenly I was hearing something new.
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen, then down.)
Or maybe it was as old as children.
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
And parents, and families.
(Shot of Norma and Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: You're not going until you open this.
(Jack clears his throat as he reaches down.)
(Shot from behind Jack as he puts a large present on the table.)
KAREN: What is it?
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen, then frowning and looking down.)
JACK: Open it.(Frowns.)
(Wider shot from behind Jack as Karen starts to open the wrapping.)
(Shot of Karen's arms as she opens the present. She pulls out a folded dufflebag and sets it on the wrapping paper.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen, then at the bag.)
JACK (V/O): It's my kit bag.
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: From the Corps. (Nods.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at the bag as she slowly sits down.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at the bag off-screen.)
JACK: Uh, I was gonna get you a...
(Jack glances at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: You know...(nods)...new one...
(He looks at the bag.)
JACK: But I thought...
(Jack looks at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: You'd like this better.
(Jack smiles and nods slightly.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at the bag, then Karen off-screen.)
JACK: It's, uh, for college.
(Shot of Norma and Kevin.)
(Close shot of Karen looking off.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen and nodding slightly.)
JACK: Or if you go someplace. (Smiles slightly.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at the bag off-screen.)
JACK: Either way, you gotta have somethin' to put your clothes in, and, uh...
(Jack pauses as nods as he starts to choke up.)
JACK: This one got me through a lot of rough times. (Nods.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at the bag.)
KAREN: I love it. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen, then Norma off-screen and nodding slightly.)
(Shot of Norma and Kevin as she looks at Jack off-screen, then down.)
(Close shot of Karen looking closer in the bag.)
(Close shot of the bag as she pulls out a pair of dog-tags.)
(Shot of Norma and Kevin watching.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at the dog-tags.)
KAREN: These too? (Smiles.)
(She looks at Jack off-screen.)
(Close shot of Jack frowning.)
JACK: Uh...
(Jack looks toward Norma, then Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Those are mine.
(He holds his hand out.)
(Shot of Karen as she reaches toward Jack.)
(Shot of Norma and Kevin as Jack and Karen's hands meet in the foreground.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen with moist eyes. She smiles slightly.)
KAREN (Sotto voce): Thanks, Dad.
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen, then frowning, then nodding.)
(Shot of Norma and Kevin as Jack and Karen's hands release in the foreground, and Jack holds the dog-tags.)
(Close shot of Jack looking down at the dog-tags, then glancing toward Norma off-screen. He looks off again, then back to Norma and nods slightly.)
(Shot of Norma and Kevin as Norma smiles slightly at Jack off-screen, then looks down.)
(Close shot of Karen looking toward Norma off-screen. A car horn sounds again. Karen looks down, then slowly toward Jack off-screen. She stands up, looks toward Norma off-screen, looks down, looks toward Jack, then Norma off-screen.)
KAREN: I've got to go.
(Shot of Norma and Kevin as Norma looks toward Jack off-screen.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Then go.
(Jack nods and smiles slightly. Music "Who Knows Where The Time Goes" - Judy Collins starts.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen, then looking at the cake off-screen. She holds her hair back then bends down and blows out the candles.)
(Shot of Norma looking at the cake and smiling. Kevin is standing in the background. Norma looks at Karen off-screen.)
(Close shot of Kevin watching.)
"Across the evening sky"
(Shot of Karen as she straightens up, puts her purse strap on her shoulder, and starts to walk away.)
(Wider shot of all as Karen walks toward the kitchen.)
JACK: Hey.
"All the birds are leaving"
(Karen pauses and turns.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: D'you make a wish?
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: Yeah.
(Shot past Norma as Karen walks past Kevin and into the kitchen. Norma looks at Jack off-screen.)
"But how can they know"
(Close shot of Jack looking after Karen off-screen. Sound of the kitchen door opening and closing can be heard.)
"It's time for them to go"
Fade to
Int. Late Night - Arnold House
(Shot of the bathroom door as Kevin opens it, turns off the light, and approaches the camera which rolls back with him.)
That night of my sister's eighteenth birthday...a lot of things happened.
"Before the winter fire"
(Kevin looks toward the living room and slows up.)
Maybe more than she knew.
(Kevin leans slightly against the wall.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Jack holding the window curtain and looking out.)
"I will still be dreaming"
Because that night, when my father let Karen go out, he let Karen go.
(Shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)
"I do not count the time"
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Jack holding the window curtain and looking out a few moments, then turning toward the living room.)
And maybe that's how it had to be.
(Wider shot from Kevin's perspective of the living room and the TV showing static as Jack approaches.)
Children leave...and parents stay behind.
"Who knows where the time goes"
(Jack taps the TV button and turns it off.)
Still, some things are deeper than time and distance.
Cut to
Ext. Night - Arnold House
(Shot of the driveway an house with the living room light on.)
And your father will always be your father.
"Who knows where the time goes"
(The porch light comes on.)
And he will always leave a light on for you.
(The living room light goes out.)
Fade to
CLOSING CREDITS
Music
"Thank Heaven For Little Girls" - Maurice Chevalier
"Who Knows Where The Time Goes" - Sandy Denny > Judy Collins
Next Episode
Titles/Transcripts
Episode Info
Wonder Years Menu
01/27/04 17:55