Episode 35 - "The Powers That Be"


(The Arnold's are standing side-by-side on the porch, looking toward the street.)

In every American family there exists a chain of command.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

From the pawn...

(The camera pans across Wayne, Karen, and Norma.)

Through the established ranks...

(The camera stops on Jack, who looks worried.)

To the lord and master of all things great and small.

(Close shot of Kevin smiling.)

But one week out of the year, a force would blow into town that even my father could not control.

(Close shot of Jack. He is looking toward the street.)

JACK: To the left...left...

(Shot of the street and driveway as Albert tries to back into the driveway. He is singing happily to himself.)

Grampa Arnold.

(Close shot of Jack and Norma. Jack looks down, as Norma looks at Jack and puts a hand on his chest.)

NORMA: Why don't you give him a hand, Jack?

JACK: He knows what he's doing.

(Shot of Albert's car. He pulls forward, causing a passing car to slow abruptly.)

(Shot of Jack looking down, and Norma looking worried.)

(Shot of Albert in his car. He gestures at the other motorist.)

ALBERT: My fault entirely! Sorry!

(Closer shot of Albert in his car.)

Within minutes of grampa's arrival...

(Close shot of Jack watching Albert off-screen.)

My father would find some household chore to keep him busy...

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

Until Gramps pulled out again.

(Close shot of Albert as he backs up.)

Not that I understood exactly why...

(Close shot of the car backing into the Arnold lamp-post.)

(Shot of Jack and Norma. Jack looks at Norma.)

JACK: Well, I better get started on the gutters.

(Jack sighs, and starts to walk away.)

(Shot of Albert's car in the drive-way, next to the up-rooted lamp-post. Albert opens the door, gets out, and looks at the lamp-post.)

(Closer shot of Albert. He looks toward the Arnold's, smiles and gestures.)

ALBERT: Hey! I made it! Hah-hah-hah.

Cut to

The Kitchen

(Shot of Kevin and Albert standing in the foreground. Albert is playfully squeezing Kevin's hand. Karen and Wayne sit at the table in the background.)

ALBERT: Ow, ow, oh...Stop it - you're hurting my hand! Ohh!

(Close shot of Norma at the sink, smiling.)

(Shot past Albert of Kevin smiling.)

To me, Gramps was a funny old guy who pulled silver-dollars out of my ears.

KEVIN: Grampa...

(Close shot past Kevin of Albert smiling broadly.)

ALBERT: What have you been doing - lifting weights or something?

(Wider shot of Kevin and Albert, and Karen and Wayne. Albert slaps Kevin's shoulders and smiles.)

(Karen is looking at the scarf Albert gave her.)

KAREN: Grampa, this is really beautiful!

(Close shot of Albert smiling.)

ALBERT: Oh, well I'm glad you like it. That belonged to your grandmother.

(Shot of Karen smiling as she rolls up the scarf.)

ALBERT (V/O): I didn't know if you kids still wore these things or not.

(Karen rises, and ties the scarf around her leg.)

KAREN: No, it's perfect! (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Albert looking puzzled.)

(Shot of Norma at the refrigerator.)

NORMA: Albert? Would you like something to drink with your lunch?

(Wider shot of Kevin and Albert, and Karen and Wayne.)

ALBERT: No, no - nothing for me. But how about a big glass of milk for my boy, here?

(Albert gestures toward Kevin.)

(Shot past Kevin of Albert leaning close, smiling and making a fist.)

ALBERT & NAR: We gotta keep those bones nice and strong.

(Close shot of Kevin smiling.)

Like I said - a real cornball.

(Shot past Kevin of Albert. Albert looks toward Wayne off-screen.)

ALBERT: Oh...Wayne.

(Albert takes a whistle from his pocket, and blows it.)

ALBERT: Remember this?

(Shot of Karen and Wayne at the table.)

WAYNE: No...

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: Oh, sure you do...used to play with it all the time...

(Shot of Karen and Wayne.)

ALBERT (V/O): When we were in that old house. You'd take it out into the yard, and you'd say...

(Close shot of Albert gesturing with both hands.)

ALBERT: "Fly away birdies, I'm comin' to get ya..."

(Albert blows the whistle again and smiles.)

(Shot of Karen and Wayne, as Albert sets the whistle on the table near Wayne.)

WAYNE: O-kay...

(Close shot of Kevin as Norma brings him a glass of milk.)

NORMA: Wayne...thank Grampa for the gift!

(Shot of Karen and Wayne at the table.)

WAYNE: Oh, yeah, thanks...

(Wayne takes the whistle and rises.)

(Close shot of Albert looking happy.)

(Wider shot of all as Wayne approaches the camera.)

WAYNE: I'm gonna go test it right now.

(Wayne exits past the camera, frowning.)

Maybe he was a little out of touch with our generation.

(Shot of Kevin and Albert.)

ALBERT: Come on - drink up, drink up, drink up!

(Close shot of Kevin as he drinks a few swallows of milk and smiles.)

But there was something about Gramps that made me feel like I was five years old again.

(Close shot of Albert. He leans forward and smiles at Kevin.)

ALBERT (V/O): Say...

(Close shot of Albert as he snaps his fingers and smiles at Kevin off-screen.)

ALBERT: I just remembered...

(Close shot of Kevin.)

ALBERT (V/O): I got you a present too.

(Shot past Kevin of Albert. He holds up his car keys and smiles.)

ALBERT: I think I left it in the car.

(Close shot of Kevin smiling, and running off.)

Cut to

Albert's Car

(Shot of a puppy lying on the back seat.)

(Close shot of Kevin and Albert looking at the dog and smiling.)

KEVIN: I can't believe it.

(Kevin starts to open the door.)

(Shot of Buster looking up sleepily.)

(Close shot of Albert smiling.)

ALBERT: You like him?

(Shot of Kevin picking up Buster and turning around, smiling.)

KEVIN: I love him!

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: Well, the last time I was here, that's all you could talk about, so I figured - why not?

(Close shot of Kevin cuddling the dog and smiling.)

"Why not" - two glorious words that separate the men from the boys - the doers from the sayers.

JACK (V/O): We're not keeping that dog.

(Close shot of Albert and Jack. Albert straightens up and turns toward Jack.)

The fathers from the grandfathers.

ALBERT: Good afternoon, John. Nice to see you again.

JACK: Dad.

KEVIN (V/O): Oh, come on, Dad.

(Wider shot of all three.)

KEVIN: Please, please, please let me keep him?

JACK: Too much to handle...

KEVIN: I can handle it. I know I can handle it...

ALBERT: The boy's thirteen years old, John.

(Close shot of Albert and Jack.)

JACK: I know how old he is. And I know what having a dog in the house means.

(Shot of Kevin smiling and holding the dog.)

So did I. It meant stick-throwing...face-licking...romping...

(Shot of Jack. He looks at Kevin off-screen.)

JACK: Responsibility.

(Close shot of Kevin thinking.)

That too.

(Close shot of Albert and Jack.)

JACK: A dog chews things. A dog needs to be walked. And I'm not the one that's gonna be the one walkin' him at six in the morning!

(Shot of Kevin. He shakes his head.)

KEVIN: I promise, you'll never have to walk him...

(Shot of Albert and Jack.)

ALBERT: Give the boy a chance, John.

(Albert leans a litle closer to Jack.)

ALBERT: A boy needs a dog. Besides...

(Close shot of Kevin.)

ALBERT (V/O): I can't take him back for a week.

(Shot of Albert and Jack. Albert looks at Kevin off-screen.)

ALBERT: Maybe by then your old man will have changed his mind, huh?

(Shot of Kevin looking expectant.)

(Close shot of Jack frowning.)

JACK: Hhnhh.

(Jack walks off.)

(Shot of Kevin and Albert, as Jack walks away with a ladder in the background.)

And there ya had it.

(Shot of Kevin and Albert cuddling the dog.)

Cornball or not, Gramps was a kindred spirit, a giver of gifts - a prince.

MR. CORY (V/O): A potato!

Cut to

Science Classroom

(Shot of Mr. Cory, standing in front of his desk, holding up a potato.)

MR. CORY: On the face of it - an insignificant...pulpy tuber.

(Shot of Paul and Kevin at their desks, looking on blankly.)

MR. CORY (V/O): But consider it.

(Closer shot of Mr. Cory standing next to a globe, with his hands on it.)

MR. CORY: What does this potato...have to do with the course...of human events? Hands!

(Shot of the students. No one raises a hand.)

MR. CORY: Genetics! (Gestures.)

(Shot of students looking bored.)

MR. CORY: The transfer...of traits...from generation...to generation - as we'll see from our project. Now...!

(Mr. Cory picks up some burlap sacks.)

MR. CORY: Here we go!

(Shot of the students as Mr. Cory puts the sacks on two of the front-row desks.)

MR. CORY: Let's pass them out. Pass 'em backwards!

(Close shot of Paul turned around toward Kevin.)

PAUL: What's he doing?

KEVIN: Got me...

Fact is, I was wondering what I was doing, sitting in Mr. Cory's classroom - when I could be home playing with a puppy.

(Close shot of Mr. Cory.)

MR. CORY: For our homework, each of us will take our potato, put it into a glass...

(Shot of the bored students.)

(Shot of Mr. Cory.)

MR. CORY: And log the data!

(Shot of the students. They straighten up slightly.)

(Shot of Mr. Cory.)

MR. CORY: Heredity - we'll learn from nature!

(Mr. Cory gestures and smiles.)

Cut to

Ext. Day - Arnold Front Yard

(Shot of Jack and Albert working on the windows.)

ALBERT: You gotta go easy on these frames.

JACK: Dad, the frame's made of maple.

(Shot past Jack of Kevin and Buster sitting in the distance on the grass.)

JACK (V/O): One pop isn't gonna crack the frame.

(Jack bangs on the window-frame.)

Of course when it came to the study of heredity, I was getting a crash course at home.

(Shot of Jack and Albert as Jack slides a window-frame into place.)

ALBERT: Patience, son, patience!

(Jack sighs.)

(Close shot of Kevin petting Buster.)

And in the midst of it all, something terrible was beginning to happen.

(Kevin picks up Buster and smiles.)

I was falling in love.

(Shot of Albert pushing on the frame. Jack stands behind him.)

JACK: Dad, I've been putting these windows in for twenty years. I know what I'm doing.

(Shot of Kevin sitting on the grass with Buster.)

KEVIN: Sit...sit...sit. Good boy. Hey Dad, Dad! Come here - look!

(Shot of Jack and Albert at the windows. Jack frowns at Kevin.)

JACK: What do you want?!

(Wider shot of Kevin. Buster has wandered off.)

KEVIN: Dad, look!

(Shot of Buster in the flower bed.)

(Kevin looks down, puzzled.)

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: Kevin? Will you put the damn dog back on the leash?!

(Shot of Kevin going to retrieve Buster.)

OK, OK...

(Shot of Albert and Jack at the windows. Albert turns toward Jack.)

ALBERT: Not bad for an old man, hah?

(Shot of Kevin and Buster. Kevin looks at Albert and Jack off-screen.)

(Shot of Albert and Jack. Albert pokes Jack in the stomach and smiles. Jack frowns.)

Cut to

Int. Eve - Living room

(Close shot of the TV. "Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In" is on TV.)

Rowan: Well, I guess you're looking forward to a...good season.
Martin: Yeah, you bet your sweet bippy I am.

(Close shot of Albert, with his hands behind his head, and frowning.)

ALBERT: "Bippy"?

(Wider shot of Kevin and Wayne lying on the floor, with Norma, Karen, and Albert on the couch behind them.)

ALBERT: What is that - "bippy"?

(Shot of Kevin glancing from Albert to Jack off-screen.)

That night, I was noticing a connection.

(Shot of Jack in his chair, looking at a newspaper, then up, and frowning.)

Everytime Gramps opened his mouth, my father would glare a little harder at the puppy.

(Close shot of Karen and Albert, as he frowns.)

ALBERT: That's what people laugh at these days - "bippy"?

(Shot of Karen on the couch, next to Albert.)

KAREN: Well, it's not funny, like - "hah-hah" funny - it's like *loose, wild* funny.

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: You want to see funny, you ought to watch some "Honeymooner's" reruns.

But wait a minute. What was this?

(Close shot of Norma smiling.)

NORMA: Oh...! That's Jack's favorite show.

ALBERT: Hmm? Really?

(Shot of Jack looking at the newspaper.)

JACK: One of the best.

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: You ever see the one...where Norton and Ralph bought the hotel?

(Close shot of Jack smiling.)

(Close shot of Kevin smiling, and looking at Jack off-screen.)

This was great! By some fantastic coincidence, Gramps had stumbled onto the one thing that made my father really come alive.

(Close shot of Jack smiling.)

(Close shot of Kevin smiling, and looking at Albert off-screen.)

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: Or the one where Ralph forgets Alice's birthday?

(Shot of Norma laughing.)

NORMA: I love that one!

(Shot of Jack smiling.)

JACK: Yeah, I saw that one.

(Close shot of Kevin smiling.)


(Close shot of Albert smiling.)

Little did Gramps know that Dad's Ralph Kramden impersonation was legendary.

(Close shot of Norma.)

Around our house, anyway.

NORMA: Jack?

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: Hmmm?

(Close shot of Norma. She smiles.)

NORMA: Do your "Ralph Kramden".

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Yeah, come on, Dad.

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: I didn't know you did imitations, John.

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: Neither did I.

(Wider shot of the group.)

NORMA: Oh, just once - please.

(Shot of Kevin turning to Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: Come on, let's see it.

(Close shot of Jack as he puts the newspaper away, and clears his throat in preparation.)

JACK: "One of these days, Alice...one of these days - Bang!-Zoom! - to the moon".

(Sound of laugh-track in the background.)

(Close shot of Albert looking on, puzzled.)

(Shot of Jack. He gestures self-consciously.)

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne.)

(Shot of Norma an Karen.)

NORMA: Honey...you can do it a little better than that...

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: Well, to do it right, you a little more elbow-room.

NORMA (V/O): Well...

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

OK, so much for the warm-up.

(Shot of Jack as he stands up.)

Time for Dad to let out all the stops. The patented "Ed Norton double-take".

JACK: "Do it! Will you already?!"

(Shot of Norma and Karen as they laugh.)

(Close shot of Albert looking on, blankly.)

(Close shot of Jack smiling.)

And just when it seemed like the sun was never gonna shine again...

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne laughing.)

(Shot of Jack smiling and nodding.)

The clouds began to break.

(Close shot of Albert frowning.)

ALBERT: That's Gleason?

(Everyone stops laughing.)

(Close shot of Jack.)

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: That doesn't sound like Gleason.

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne. Kevin frowns.)

(Shot of Karen and Norma. Karen looks down, and Norma looks toward Jack apprehensively.)

And then the rains came.

(Close shot of Jack standing with his hands in his back pockets. Jack frowns, and looks down.)

(Shot of Buster sitting next to Jack's feet.)

(Buster looks up and whines.)

(Close shot of Norma.)

NORMA: Oh, I'll get the paper towels, honey.

(Close shot of Jack frowning.)

Cut to

Later in the Basement

(Shot of Kevin on the couch, as Jack paces in front of him.)

JACK: I leave the house at seven in the morning. The dog is walked and fed before I come downstairs.

(Shot of Jack as he paces.)

JACK: Is that understood? The dog stays in the basement at all times. You walk the dog after school and at night when you're through with your homework - any questions?

(Close shot of Kevin holding Buster.)



(Close shot of Jack frowning.)

Seemed pretty clear to me.

(Shot of Kevin as Jack walks toward the stairs.)

Whatever was going on between Dad and Grampa...

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

It added up to one thing.

(Shot of Jack pausing on the stairs, and frowning.)

Genetically speaking...

(Shot of Buster knocking over Kevin's potato-growing experiment.)

I was definitely getting the raw end of the stick.

(Close shot of Kevin sighing.)

Fade to


(Close shot of Mr. Cory as he cleans his glasses slowly.)

MR. CORY: Your dog ate your homework...

(Shot past Mr. Cory of Kevin and Paul sitting at their desks.)

KEVIN: I-I know it sounds crazy, but...

PAUL: Mr. Cory...

(Close shot of Mr. Cory.)

PAUL (V/O): I've known him for thirteen years.

(Shot Kevin and Paul.)

PAUL: He doesn't lie about stuff like this.

(Close shot of Mr. Cory.)

MR. CORY: Your dog ate your homework...

Cut to

Int. Morning - Kevin's Bedroom

(Shot of Wayne and Kevin sleeping, as Kevin's alarm-clock rings.)

(Wayne rolls over and throws a pillow at Kevin.)

Over the next few days...

(Kevin sits up, momentarily confused, then turns off the alarm.)

(Shot of Kevin walking down the basement stairs.)

One thing became crystal clear.

(Walkin' the Dog" starts.)

In the battle between boy-against-puppy...

(Shot of the basement, and Buster in his box.)

(Shot of Kevin sighing.)

I was gonna have to take control.

(Shot of Kevin walking on the sidewalk, leading Buster on a leash.)

No matter what the cost.

(Kevin walks past a tree. Buster pauses at it.)

No matter how great the sacrifice.

(Shot of Kevin waiting, and looking off.)

No matter how late the hours.

(Kevin flops down on his pillow in bed, and yawns. Buster is barking.)

JACK (V/O): Kevin! Kevin!

(Kevin pulls the pillow over his ears and frowns.)

(Shot of Kevin walking on the sidewalk, leading Buster on a leash.)

It was man-against-beast...

(The camera stops on the tree as they both walk by it.)

A fight to the finish.

(Shot of Albert in the kitchen, getting his pills, as Kevin approaches sleepily.)

(Shot of Albert looking at Kevin.)

There was only one little problem...

(Shot of Kevin looking uncertainly back down the hallway.)

The beast was winning.

(Kevin looks at Albert and frowns, then walks away.)

Fade to

Ext. Afternoon - Arnold Front Yard

(Shot of Jack repairing the lamp-post in the background as Kevin cuts across the lawn toward Albert. Music fades out.)

ALBERT (V/O): Working pretty hard are ya?

(Kevin pauses and smiles.)

KEVIN: I guess so.

(Shot of Albert. He pokes at Kevin's chest.)

ALBERT: It's not easy raising a puppy. Toughest job there is.

(Kevin smiles.)

KEVIN: He's learning, though.

(Albert moves closer and puts his arm around Kevin's shoulder.)

ALBERT: Tell ya what, nice hard-working lad like you - how about I take you down for a nice big banana split from the ice cream store?

(Shot of Kevin and Albert, with Jack working on the lamp-post in the background. Kevin smiles and starts to open the car door.)

(Jack approaches.)

JACK: Where ya going?

(Shot of Albert in front of his car.)

ALBERT: Well, I'm going to take the boy for some ice cream - come along if you like.

(Close shot of Kevin and Jack.)

JACK: Kevin, did you walk your dog?

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: I was...gonna walk him when I get back.

(Close shot of Jack frowning.)

JACK: You're gonna walk him now.

(Close shot of Kevin,)

KEVIN: But Dad...

(Kevin sighs and looks off.)

ALBERT (V/O): Cut the boy some slack, John.

(Close shot of Jack looking at Albert off-screen.)

ALBERT: It can wait twenty minutes.

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: No, Dad, it can't wait twenty minutes.

(Shot of Albert. He sighs and looks down.)

JACK: If the dog has gotta go...

(Close shot of Albert frowning.)

JACK (V/O): He isn't gonna wait twenty minutes.

(Shot of Kevin frowning.)

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: You like to wait twenty minutes?

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: Not for my ice cream.

(Close shot of Jack frowning.)

(Close shot of Albert frowning.)

(Shot of Jack and Kevin. Kevin looks at Albert off-screen.)

KEVIN: I guess I better walk the dog, Gramps.

(Close shot of Albert frowning.)

ALBERT: Suit yourself.

(Shot of Jack and Kevin. Kevin frowns and walks forward past the camera. Jack frowns.)

ALBERT (V/O): Seems a shame though - can't even take my grandson for a little treat.

(Close shot of Jack looking after Kevin off-screen.)

JACK: Kev!

(Shot of Kevin walking toward the house. Jack catches up.)

JACK: Kev, wait up!

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: Look, I know it seems I'm being a little tough on ya...

(Close shot of Kevin glancing off, then back.)

Tough? Well, no more than say...Ghengis Khan.

(Shot past Kevin of Jack.)

JACK: Believe me there's a reason.

(Shot of Kevin.)

OK, I was willing to listen to reason.

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: It's just...

(Shot of Kevin looking away.)

(Sound of Albert starting his car.)

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: Well...

(Jack turns around at the sound of screeching tires.)

(Shot of Albert driving over the lamp-post and stopping.)

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: Dammit, Dad!

(Shot of Albert in his car He opens the door, leans out, and gestures.)

ALBERT: Why do you put this thing so close to the driveway?

(Close shot of Jack frowning.)

JACK: Why don't you stay on the damn driveway?

(Shot of Kevin and Jack in the foreground, Albert in the background.)

ALBERT: Ah...!

(Albert slams the door.)


(Close shot of Jack turning to Kevin.)

JACK: What?!

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: What were you going to say?

(Shot of Kevin and Jack. Jack frowns at Kevin.)

JACK: Never mind, you wouldn't understand.

(Close shot of Jack looking at Albert off-screen.)

JACK: It's about fathers and sons.

(Shot of Kevin as Jack walks past him, and away.)


Cut to


(Shot of Kevin and Wayne at the table.)

(There is an uneasy silence as Wayne taps mash potatoes onto his plate.)

(Shot past Jack of Karen, Norma and Albert sitting in silence.)

(Shot of Jack and Karen. Karen drinks some milk, Jack rolls his eyes.)

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne as Wayne finishes with the mashed potatoes, puts the bowl down, and smiles.)

(Wide shot of all from behind Albert.)

NORMA: So how is everything?

(Shot past Jack of Karen, Norma and Albert.)

ALBERT: Delicious, Norma - couldn't be better.

(Close shot of Kevin glancing around and frowning.)

Yeah, couldn't be better. "Fathers and sons" - "I wouldn't understand?"

(Close shot of Jack looking at Albert off-screen.)

What had Dad meant by that?

(Close shot of Albert as he tastes his mashed potatoes, and frowns.)

(Close shot of Jack frowning.)

JACK: Now what's wrong?

(Close shot of Albert frowning and gesturing toward Jack.)

ALBERT: Nothin'...nothin'.

(Albert looks at Norma off-screen.)

ALBERT: Did you, uh...

(Shot of Norma and Karen. Norma looks toward Albert.)

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: Did you put pepper in these spuds?

(Norma looks surprised.)

NORMA: Oh, Albert!

(Close shot of Albert. He smiles and pats her hand.)

NORMA (V/O): I'm so sorry - I forgot.

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: Forgot what?

(Shot Karen and Norma.)

ALBERT (V/O): Gas.

(Norma turns to Albert and frowns.)

(Close shot of Albert. He gestures.)

ALBERT: Pepper gives me gas.

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne. Wayne laughs, Kevin smacks him.)

(Shot of Norma holding up a corn-on-the-cob.)

NORMA: Oh, maybe you'd like some corn instead?

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT (V/O): No...I think not.

(Close shot of Albert. He points at his teeth.)

ALBERT: Corn sticks in my teeth.

(Shot of Norma, with Jack in the background. Jack drops his fork and starts to squirm in his chair.)

NORMA: Well I'm going shopping tomorrow - maybe I can pick you up some things.

(Close shot of Albert shaking his head and gesturing.)

ALBERT: Don't you be foolish, Norma. You buy everything the same way you always do.

(Close shot of Jack frowning.)

JACK: Sure...spend another day cooking a meal he won't eat.

(Close shot of Karen holding a bowl of biscuits.)

KAREN: Grampa, why don't you try some biscuits - they should be easy to digest.

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: He can't eat biscuits. Right, Dad?

(Close shot of Albert. He gestures.)

ALBERT: I can't...

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: Tell 'em why not.

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: The starch.

(Close shot of Jack frowning.)

JACK: Too much starch, Norma.

(Shot of Kevin frowning.)

(Shot of Karen and Norma.)

KAREN: Um, Mom, I've got a...date.

(Karen stands and exits.)

(Wider shot of all.)

WAYNE: Yeah, me too.

(Wayne follows Karen out.)

JACK: She spent a lot of time cooking this meal.

(Close shot of Albert.)

JACK (V/O): The least you could do -

(Albert frowns and puts his hands together.)

ALBERT: John! Pepper gives me gas, alright?

(Close shot of Jack.)

(Close shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: The potatoes have pepper in 'em.

(Shot of Kevin. He frowns and sighs.)

JACK (V/O): Forget the damn potatoes.

(Kevin sighs and looks off.)

(Close shot of Jack as he taps the table.)

JACK: What I'm talking about is a little respect here.

(Close shot of Kevin. He gestures.)

KEVIN: Can I say something please?

(Close shot of Jack glancing at Kevin off-screen.)

JACK: Kevin! Just stay out of this.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

(Close shot of Jack frowning.)

(Close shot of Kevin turning quickly toward Albert off-screen.)

(Close shot of Albert looking at Jack off-screen.)

(Close shot of Norma.)

NORMA: Honey...

(Close shot of Kevin. He shakes his head.)

KEVIN: It's OK, Mom.

(Kevin stands up.)

(Wide shot of all, as Kevin throws his napkin down, frowns over his shoulder and walks off past the camera.)

ALBERT: What do you want me to say, son?

(Close shot past Jack of Albert gesturing. Kevin turns the corner in the background.)

JACK: What do you want me to say?

(Shot past Albert of Jack and Norma.)

JACK: You waltz in here...(looks toward Norma)...you pick at my wife's food...you run over my lamp-post...(gestures)...and you bring a dog!

(Shot over Jack's shoulder of Norma and Albert. He frowns and gestures.)

ALBERT: The dog was a gift, John. What do you want from me?

(Cut to shot of Kevin in the basement, settling next to Buster and picking him up. Kevin looks toward the background voices.)

They just kept on arguing. They didn't even notice I'd gone.

(Fade to shot past Jack of Albert, and Norma standing in the background.)

JACK: You didn't even bother to ask my permission!

ALBERT: Oh! Now I gotta ask your permission to give my grandson a dog?!

(Kevin enters the kitchen with Buster, and stands next to Albert.)

JACK: Yeah, Dad. My permission!

(Shot past Albert of Jack.)

JACK: Is that too much to ask when you're in my house?!

(Shot past Jack of Albert, Kevin, and Norma.)

JACK: I don't tell you when to come and go.

ALBERT: You want me to go - I'll go!

(Albert throws his napkin onto the table.)

(Shot past Albert of Jack jabbing his finger at Albert.)

JACK: That's up to you!

(Shot Albert and Kevin, and Norma looking on.)


ALBERT: I'd go tonight - except I didn't bring my other glasses.

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: You're driving around without your driving-glasses...

(Shot of Albert, Kevin and Norma.)

(Albert shrugs and gestures.)

KEVIN: Grampa?

(Close shot of Jack. He waves his arm.)

JACK: How can you forget your damn driving-glasses?!

(Shot of Kevin and Albert.)

ALBERT: I forgot 'em - it's as simple as that!

KEVIN: Listen to me!

(Close shot of Jack looking at Kevin off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin. He is near tears.)

I wanted them to tell me why they were fighting.

(Close shot of Jack. He looks down.)

Why they kept hurting each other like this.

(Shot of Albert, Kevin and Norma. Albert rubs his forehead and frowns.)

Why the two men who meant the whole world to me...had to act like - children.

(Close shot of Jack. He frowns and looks off.)

But most of all, I just wanted them to stop.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Here.

(Shot of Kevin giving the dog to Albert.)

(Kevin looks at Jack off-screen, then Albert.)

KEVIN: I don't want the dog.

(Kevin exits. Albert frowns and looks at Jack off-screen.)

(Close shot of Jack. He frowns and looks at Albert off-screen.)

Cut to

Int. Night - Kevin's Bedroom

(Kevin is lying in bed, awake.)

That night a thought about the gifts Gramps had brought me.

(Home-movie clips of Albert and Kevin during previous visits.)

How giving gifts used to be so simple. And life was a never-ending bounty of riches...I thought would never end.

(Shot of Kevin's door as Albert opens it.)

(Close shot of Kevin shutting his eyes as the light crosses his face.)

(Shot of Albert in the doorway.)


(Shot of Kevin feigning sleep.)

(Closer shot of Albert.)

ALBERT: You awake?

(Shot of Kevin feigning sleep.)

(Shot of Albert looking at Kevin off-screen, then closing the door.)

(Closer shot of Kevin. The camera moves in slowly as he wipes his eyes.)

Fade to

Int. Morning - Kevin's Bedroom

(Kevin stirs awake and sits up. It is silent. Kevin looks toward the window, then the clock - 6:15 AM. Kevin gets up.)

(Shot of the basement stairs and door. Kevin opens the door and enters.)

(Shot of the basement, and Buster's empty box.)

(Shot of Kevin looking around in thought.)

(Cut to front lawn. Kevin walks out the front door.)

(Wide shot of Jack and Buster standing on the sidewalk near the leaning lamp-post. Jack is dressed for work, and is holding Buster's leash, looking at him.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)

I guess I should have been happy. But I wasn't.

(Shot of Jack looking off, as Kevin approaches. Jack turns toward Kevin, then looks at Buster.)

(Close shot of Buster.)

JACK (V/O): He's not a bad little pup. He's got spirit.

(Close shot past Jack of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Dad, why did Gramps leave?

(Shot past Kevin of Jack. Jack looks at Kevin, then off.)

(Shot of Kevin. He looks down the street, then looks at Jack and shrugs.)

KEVIN: You didn't send him home, did you?

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: No one ever sent your grandfather home before he was ready.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Oh...

(Close shot of Jack. He takes a breath and looks off.)

JACK: Gramps and I had a little talk this morning, Kev...Well, kind of a talk.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

(Close shot of Jack looking down.)

JACK: We kind of agreed that, uh...

(Jack looks at Kevin and nods.)

JACK: You should keep the puppy.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: You did?

JACK (V/O): We thought -

(Kevin frowns and glances away.)

KEVIN: I don't want it.

(Close shot of Jack.)

(Close shot of Kevin turning away.)

And I didn't.

(Kevin looks at Jack off-screen and frowns.)

I was sick of that puppy.

(Close shot of Jack nodding, and looking down.)

I was tired of being a pawn.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: First you tell me I can't have a dog - then you tell me I should keep it! (Gestures.) What about my decision? (Frowns.) Doesn't it count?

(Close shot of Jack. He smiles.)

JACK: Course it counts.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Well, you sure don't act like it!

(Kevin frowns and looks away.)

(Close shot of Jack. He laughs softly.)

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: What's so funny?

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: You remind me of someone I know...

(Jack smiles and nods, then looks down the street.)

JACK: I dunno, I guess it runs in the family.

(Jack looks down, then nods at Kevin.)

JACK: I hope you decide to keep it, Kev.

(Shot of Kevin.)

(Shot of Jack looking at Kevin off-screen.)

JACK: I think we need a dog. (Nods) You, me, gramps...I think we need to do this.

(Shot of Kevin.)

And for some reason, maybe the way he said it, I began to understand.

(Shot of Jack looking at Kevin off-screen.)

JACK: We need a dog, son.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

He wasn't giving me an order. My dad...was asking me...for help.

(Shot of Jack looking at Kevin off-screen.)

(Shot of Kevin. He glances off, then looks down at Buster and smiles.)

KEVIN: He doesn't have a name...

(Close shot of Jack. He smiles.)

JACK: Well, find him a name.

(Shot of Kevin.)

(Shot of Buster between Jack and Kevin's feet.)

(Wider shot of Jack and Kevin.)

That morning, as I stood with the man who was my father...

(Shot of Kevin looking up from Buster to Jack off-screen.)

The son of my grandfather, who would one day be the grandfather of my son's...

(Close shot of Kevin looking down the street.)

I realized something.

(Jack smiles and hands the leash to Kevin.)

That not all gifts are simple.

(Kevin hesitates, then takes the leash and smiles.)

That some battles are fought out of love.

(Shot past Kevin of Jack. Jack smiles.)

JACK: Come on, lets take him for a walk. (Nods.)

(Jack pats Kevin on the shoulder.)

(Wide shot of them starting to walk, looking back at Buster.)

(Long shot of Jack, Kevin and Buster walking down the sidewalk, away from the camera. The Arnold lamp-post is leaning out of the line of posts.)

("Turn, Turn, Turn" - The Byrds plays.)

Fade to


Supporting Cast

Albert Arnold - David Huddleston

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Episode Info
Wonder Years Menu

01/02/05 17:15