Coach McIntyre - Soccer Coach
(Ep 76 - "Soccer")
(Kevin kicks a soccer ball toward Chuck, Leigh, and Nick.)
Wow. (Smiles.) Where'd you learn how to do that?
Kick like that.
I don't know. (Gestures.) Lucky, I guess. (Smiles.)
Yeah, well...good shot! Superstar.
The amazing thing was...these guys were serious.
So. You gonna join us?
And that's when I realized...in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
Well...maybe I'll go talk to the coach. (Smiles.)
Great! (Smiles.) He-he's over there.
(An older man is sitting in the bleachers, wearing a hat, and looking at a magazine.)
Pops McIntyre. Go ahead.
It was kind of a big moment. The future superstar stepping up to the man who would shape his athletic career.
(Coach McIntyre looks at the magazine, and wipes his face with a handkerchief as he blows out his cheeks.)
The man...with all the answers.
(Coach McIntyre looks up from his magazine.)
You bring my juice? (Frowns.)
Who wanted juice.
(Coach McIntyre looks at the magazine.)
Hot as hell out here, isn't it?
Yeah. It is. (Smiles.)
So...what can I do for ya?
Well, actually...I came to sign up for the team.
(Coach McIntyre looks up from his magazine.)
Obviously, the coach didn't realize he was in the presence of such raw talent.
Well...(smiles)...maybe you saw the way I just kicked the ball over there?
Yeah, I saw it.
(He looks at his magazine.)
On the other hand...
(Coach McIntyre takes of his glasses and looks off, frowning slightly.)
This guy didn't just want another hot-dogger. He wanted sincerity.
Listen. I don't know that much about soccer. But I'd be willing to learn, and give it my best. I just want to be part of the team.
(Coach McIntyre stands up.)
Is that so? (Frowns.)
And with that, our bond was forged.
(Coach McIntyre steps down from the bleachers as he puts his glasses into his jacket pocket.)
The bond of trust. Admiration. Respect.
So, I...guess we'll be working together.
Suit yourself. (Exits.) Where's my juice?!
(During practice, the ball rolls near the coach. Kevin picks it up.)
So. How we doin'?
(Coach McIntyre lifts his cup slightly and looks at it.)
Well, what do you think about our prospects for this season? (Gestures.)
(Coach McIntyre stands up and looks behind him.)
Where's my cushion? I know I left it somewhere...
At least one thing seemed clear...when it came to coaching...this coach couldn't care less.
(Kevin looks toward the guys.)
Of course, maybe there was a reason for that. Take Nick Bott, for example. The most uncoordinated kid I ever met. Not to mention the biggest "Star Trek" fan. And Andy Collins. I never saw a lazier kid. And who could forget Chuck Coleman? "Mr. Fidget". The kid meant well enough...but he elevated annoying to an art form. And Leigh Fitzpatrick. Sweet guy, but a bundle of nerves. All-in-all, we were a team that could most-charitably be described as...
(Leigh kicks the ball, which bangs into the bleachers.)
What the hell was that?
Do you need some help there?
(Coach McIntyre holds a circular cushion.)
(Coach McIntyre sets the cushion on the seat.)
Everything's under control.
(He looks at Kevin, then sits down gingerly. He looks down his magazine as he starts to open it.)
(The guys are in the coach's office.)
What can I do for ya?
Well...we-we wanted to talk about learning some plays.
Look, it's not that we don't appreciate what you've done for us so far, it's...just that...
(Chuck holds up a black book.)
What about this play-book? (Smiles.)
Well...(nods)...those are plays. (Frowns.)
Well...can we at least work from it?
I don't think that book's gonna do you a lot of good.
Still, even Pops couldn't quell the tide of youth. Enthusiasm. Dorkdom.
But...if ya wanna learn plays...suit yourself.
(The guys are exercising on the field.)
After the great football-playbook fiasco...lesser men might have hung it up. But for some reason, my teammates hung in there. Maybe we were really trying to get good. Maybe we were just trying to get Pops...
(Coach McIntyre is sitting in the bleachers, napping.)
To pay attention to us. In any event...it wasn't working.
(Cut to the locker room. The guys are sitting around, depressed.)
Pretty soon, morale began to plummet. Team spirit hit an all-time low. As for me...my dreams of glory on the playing field were fading. Fast.
(Cut to the hallway. Coach McIntyre is looking into the trophy case as Kevin approaches from behind.)
There was only one thing to do.
Pops, can I talk to you?
Well, about the team.
(Coach McIntyre turns toward Kevin and frowns.)
The soccer team.
You see...our first game's coming up in a few days. And...(Frowns.)
How to put this tactfully...
It's not gonna be pretty.
It's gonna be a massacre.
Um-hmm. But...(gestures)...we still have time don't we? And with a little practice, we could at least be...respectable. (Frowns.)
(The coach looks forward and smirks.)
Don't ya think? (Frowns.)
Figured the least he could do here...was throw me a bone.
I wouldn't count on it.
(The coach shakes his head and walks off. Kevin follows.)
Not exactly your basic ringing endorsement.
Wait a minute. I don't get it. My dad told me you used to be this great coach. "The Bear", they called you. You won six conference titles in a row.
He told ya that?
Did he tell ya about the fifty-seven team? Great bunch of boys.
And for just a second...I actually saw a spark of real enthusiasm.
Eh...that was then. (Gestures.) My coachin' days are over now.
They didn't want me. They got a younger man...put me out to pasture, until...until this. (Gestures.)
I did my best not to take it personally.
Yeah, but...Pops, we're a team, and...we need a coach.
There. A cry from the heart. Something even Pops couldn't deny.
One year away from my pension, and they saddle me with this. (Frowns.) Soccer. (Frowns.)
(During the game, Kevin and the team are losing badly. Leigh has just scored a goal for the other team.)
Pops was heading towards us to say it was over. That we had no hope of winning. That it was time to hang it up.
(The coach looks at the guys.)
Kick it that way. (Gestures.)
(He raises an eye-brow slightly, then starts to turn around. He sucks in his stomach and buttons his jacket.)
I don't know what it was that touched him. Maybe it was the way we stuck together.
(The coach walks toward the bleachers.)
Maybe it was the way we were tearing apart. But in that brief instant...
(The coach slowly sits down on the bleachers and looks toward the guys.)
Pops McIntyre became a coach again. And we were finally...a team.
Come on, guys. Let's lose one for Pops.
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