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Episode 75 - "Triangle"



OPENING SEQUENCE


(Clip of President Nixon shaking hands with Chinese Premier Chou En-lai. Another clip of him shaking hands with Mao Tse Tung.)

(Clip of used-car salesman Cal Worthington riding a hippopotamus.)

The nineteen-seventies...

(Clip of the lunar rover on the moon.)

Were filled with improbable events.

(Clip of a stunt-show in which two cars fly off ramps and collide head-on.)

Strange occurrences.

(Clip of a person in a chicken costume breaking out of a large egg.)

Unexpected happenings.

(Clip of three Hari Krishna's banging drums and singing.)

(Clip of a man running and jumping onto a piano, which collapses.)

But nothing was quite as improbable...

(Clip of a basketball player hanging on the hoop as the glass breaks.)

Cut to

Ext. Day - Bus Area

(Shot of Wayne leaning against a bus with his arms crossed as students exit.)

As my brother...

(Wayne taps a girl on the shoulder. The camera pans over slightly.)

And his new girlfriend.

(They smile at each other, then hug.)

PURDLE (V/O): Why is Sandy Tyler dating your brother?

(Shot of Kevin and Purdle looking at Wayne off-screen.)

KEVIN: Got me.

PURDLE: What is it? Like some kind of science experiment?

KEVIN: Got me.

(Shot of Wayne and Sandy holding hands and approaching. The camera pans over to her as she smiles.)

It defied explanation. Sandy Tyler was a seemingly-intelligent eleventh-grader. She was smart. She was pretty.

PURDLE (V/O): She's out...of her mind.

(Shot of Kevin and Purdle. Kevin is looking at Wayne off-screen, as Purdle looks at him and exits.)

Seemed as good an explanation as any.

(Shot of Wayne and Sandy approaching.)

WAYNE: Hey. Kev...how's it going?

SANDY: Kevin...(Smiles.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)

KEVIN: Hi. (Smiles.) How ya doin'?

(Wayne and Sandy pass the camera.)

SANDY: Good.

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne and Sandy looking at him. Sandy glances down toward a book he holds off-screen.)

SANDY: "Scarlet Letter", huh?

(Shot past Wayne and Sandy of Kevin looking at them, then glancing at his book.)

SANDY: Yeah, we read that last year.

KEVIN: Yeah. It's really...(Gestures.)

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne and Sandy looking at him.)

SANDY: Thick?

KEVIN (V/O): Yeah.

(Close shot past Sandy of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: It's really thick. (Smiles.)

SANDY (V/O): And stupid. (Giggles.)

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne and Sandy looking at him.)

SANDY: I mean, the lady is tempted once by love, and she's made a complete outcast.

(Wayne looks off and sighs.)

SANDY: I think the town over-reacted.

(She looks at Wayne.)

SANDY: Right, Wayne?

WAYNE: Uh...uh...

(Wayne looks at Kevin and smiles, then turns toward Sandy.)

WAYNE: Indubitably.

(Close shot past Sandy of Kevin looking at them.)

It was amazing.

WAYNE (V/O): Well...

(Shot of Wayne and Sandy.)

WAYNE: We better get goin'. Come on.

SANDY: OK...

(Wayne and Sandy start to walk off as Sandy looks at Kevin.)

SANDY: Bye...

(Shot of Kevin looking after them off-screen.)

By some fantastic stroke of cosmic luck, my brother had...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Wayne and Sandy walking away with their arms around each other.)

Found paradise. A girl with charm. A girl with style.

Cut to

Int. Evening - Arnold Dining Table

(Shot past Norma and Kevin of Wayne, Sandy and Jack as they all eat.)

A girl...who used her silverware.

(Sandy looks at Norma.)

SANDY: This is great, Mrs. Arnold. (Smiles.)

(Wayne looks at Norma.)

WAYNE: Yes. It's, uh...superb. (Smiles.)

NORMA (V/O): Oh, well...thank you.

(Close shot of Jack frowning and looking from Wayne off-screen to Norma off-screen.)

Needless to say...

(Jack mouthes "superb?")

It was a shock.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

I was shocked...

(Shot of Jack looking at Wayne and Sandy off-screen, then at Norma off-screen.)

Dad was shocked...

(Shot of Wayne and Sandy as Sandy looks at him and giggles.)

(Shot of Norma finishing a bite of food and looking at Wayne and Sandy off-screen.)

Only my mother seemed to have expected this.

NORMA: So...

(She gestures at them with her fork.)

NORMA: How did you two meet?

(Shot of Wayne and Sandy as they look at each other.)

SANDY: Lemme tell. (Giggles.)

(Wayne looks at her as she looks at Norma off-screen.)

SANDY: I was running to class...and I tripped on the stairs, and I was falling, and all of a sudden...

(Wayne looks toward Norma off-screen and smiles, as Sandy gestures.)

SANDY: There was Wayne. (Smiles.)

(Wide shot past Norma and Kevin of all.)

WAYNE: Lucky me.

JACK & KEVIN: I'll say.

(Jack and Kevin look at each other.)

Yep - Wayne was really improving himself socially.

(Wayne turns slightly and burps, then covers his mouth.)

Cut to

Typing Class

(Shot of a long row of students' hands as they type.)

Not to mention academically.

(Mr. Finora approaches in the background.)

MR. FINORA (V/O): Don't look at the keys...

(The camera pans up slightly to Mr. Finora, who has an exhausted look on his face.)

MR. FINORA: Don't look at the keys, don't look at the keys, don't look at the keys, don't look at the keys...

(Mr. Finora looks toward the students off-screen.)

(Shot past Mr. Finora of Kevin looking at his book while typing.)

(Close shot of Mr. Finora.)

MR. FINORA: Excellent technique, Mr. Arnold.

(Shot past Mr. Finora of Kevin looking up from his typewriter.)

KEVIN: Thanks. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Mr. Finora looking down slightly at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. FINORA: Not you. (Frowns.)

(Shot past Mr. Finora of Kevin looking at him as Wayne leans out slightly from the seat behind Kevin and looks at Mr. Finora.)

WAYNE: Thanks. (Smiles.)

(Kevin looks over his shoulder ar Wayne, who smiles at him and raises his eyebrows.)

Let's face it.

(Kevin looks off and frowns slightly.)

The guy was on a roll.

(Kevin looks forward.)

(Close shot of Mr. Finora putting on his glasses while looking at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. FINORA: Let's see your work, Mr. Arnold.

(Shot past Mr. Finora of Kevin looking at him off-screen as he pulls back the lever on his typrewriter.)

Whereas for me...

(Mr. Finora removes the paper from Kevin's typewriter.)

(Close shot of Mr. Finora holding up the paper and looking at it.)

The story of my life read more like...

MR. FINORA: Dodoplinflerclompssterodinumbelumka.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Finora off-screen and shrugging slightly.)

KEVIN: I didn't look at the keys. (Smiles.)

(Wayne leans out and looks at Mr. Finora off-screen.)

WAYNE: Sophomores. (Frowns.)

(Kevin looks over his shoulder as Wayne straightens up behind him.)

It was true.

(Close shot of Mr. Finora frowning at Kevin off-screen.)

While my worthless brother...

(Shot past Mr. Finora of Kevin looking down as Mr. Finora returns his paper.)

Was hitting his stride, I seemed to be losing ground.

(Mr. Finora exits.)

And fast.

(Kevin looks off and frowns.)

Cut to

Cafeteria

(Shot past a girl in line of Kevin next to her.)

For one thing...

(They look at each other.)

I was in a very serious dating-slump.

(She smiles slightly, and Kevin looks forward.)

I'm not sure why, exactly.

(The girl takes a bowl of mashed potatoes, and Kevin looks at her.)

KEVIN: Hey...(points)...I'd watch out for those mashed potatoes. (Smiles.)

(The girl looks at him as he looks at the potatoes, then her, and nods.)

KEVIN: I bet there's a lot of parasites in 'em. (Smiles.)

(The girl frowns at Kevin and turns away.)

GIRL: Creep!

(The camera moves in slightly on Kevin as he looks after the girl off-screen.)

Possibly, just possibly, it had something to do with my technique.

(Sound of the schoolbell ringing.)

Cut to


School Hallway

(Shot of a classroom doorway as some students exit toward the camera.)

Seemed the harder I tried....

(Kevin exits and pauses near the door.)

The worse things got.

(Kevin looks off.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Alice and another girl in conversation at her locker. The girl walks off, and Alice starts to dial her combo.)

(Shot of Kevin looking toward Alice off-screen and smiling slightly as he walks forward.)

Batter up!

(The camera pans with Kevin as he approaches Alice standing at her open locker.)

KEVIN: Hey, Alice!

(She turns toward him, frowning slightly.)

KEVIN: How ya doin'?

ALICE: Hi, Kevin...

(Shot past Alice of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: What's wrong?

(Shot past Kevin of Alice looking at him.)

ALICE: My geometry teacher caught me cheating. I don't even think it is cheating!

(Shot past Alice of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: Well, it's not!

(Shot past Kevin of Alice looking at him.)

ALICE: You weren't there! (Frowns.)

KEVIN: Right! (Nods.)

(Shot past Alice of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: But, I bet it wasn't.

(Shot past Kevin of Alice looking at him.)

ALICE: Instead of copying the notes from the book, I copied them from someone else's paper.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Alice off-screen, slightly stunned.)

ALICE (V/O): It's not like I wrote the answer on my hand!

(Shot past Kevin of Alice looking at him.)

ALICE: What difference does it make who I copied from? (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Alice off-screen.)

ALICE (V/O): Now my teacher's gonna tell my parents, and ...

(Shot past Kevin of Alice looking at him.)

ALICE: I'm gonna get an "F"...(frowns)...and it's gonna be on my permanent record!

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Alice off-screen.)

KEVIN: You wanna go to the dance with me on Friday?

(Shot past Kevin of Alice looking at him and hesitating.)

ALICE: Huh? (Frowns.)

(Shot past Alice of Kevin looking at her.)

OK, my timing might have been a little off.

(Kevin shrugs and shakes his head.)

KEVIN: I'm sorry...I know you're upset and everything.

ALICE (V/O): No...

(Shot past Kevin of Alice looking at him.)

ALICE: It's OK. I'd like to go with you.

(Shot past Alice of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: Great! (Smiles.)

ALICE (V/O): But...

(Shot past Kevin of Alice looking at him.)

ALICE: Richard Rockman already asked me. (Frowns.)

(Shot past Alice of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: Oh. (Nods.) Yeah. Richard. (Nods.)

(Shot past Kevin of Alice looking at him.)

ALICE: He's very sensitive. (Smiles.)

The guy sniffed his gym socks.

(Shot past Alice of Kevin glancing off.)

KEVIN: Yeah.

(He looks at her.)

KEVIN: He's...(smiles)...real sensitive. (Nods.)

(Kevin glances off, then looks at her.)

KEVIN: Well...

(Shot from behind Kevin of Alice facing her locker.)

KEVIN: I hope you feel better. (Nods.)

(She closes her locker.)

ALICE: Thanks.

(Alice turns and walks away from the camera as Kevin turns toward it. Alice pauses and turns toward Kevin.)

ALICE: Kevin?

(Kevin pauses and looks over his shoulder.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at Alice off-screen.)

(Close shot of Alice approaching and smiling as the bell rings.)

ALICE: Can I copy your history notes?

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Alice off-screen.)

It didn't make sense.

Cut to

Ext. Day - Bus Area

(Close shot of a couple kissing, then separating, revealing Kevin in the bus in the background, looking at them.)

GUY: Bye.

GIRL: Bye.

(The guy exits, then the girl turns and exits. Kevin looks after her off-screen.)

All over school, girls were going out with jerks, and calling them "sensitive"...

(Kevin looks after the guy off-screen.)

Or dumb guys and calling them "deep".

(Kevin looks off.)

It just wasn't fair.

Cut to

Int. Evening - Arnold Basement

(Shot of the dark basement stairs as the door is opened.)

I decided to get away.

(Kevin descends, holding a bottle of soda.)

Be alone, all by myself.

(Kevin looks past the camera and slows up.)

Forget all about things, like...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Sandy and Wayne on the couch, watching "The Sonny and Cher Show". She has her head on his shoulder as they laugh.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)

Romance.

KEVIN: Hi.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Sandy and Wayne as they turn toward him.)

SANDY: Hi! (Smiles.)

WAYNE: Hi...

(Wayne makes a face and smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)

KEVIN: Sorry...(gestures)...I didn't know anyone was down here.

(He turns toward the stairs.)

SANDY (V/O): It's OK. Come on...

(Kevin looks toward them off-screen.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Sandy and Wayne looking at him off-screen.)

SANDY: Sit down.

WAYNE: Yeah. (Frowns.) Join us.

(Shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)

Talk about your warm welcomes.

(Kevin looks up the stairs, then at Sandy and Wayne off-screen.)

KEVIN: No, thanks. (Frowns.) I got a lot of stuff to do.

SANDY (V/O): Kevin...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Sandy and Wayne looking at him off-screen.)

SANDY: Sit down. We're watching "Sonny and Cher".

WAYNE: Yeah.

(Wayne frowns and nods.)

(Wide shot of Wayne and Sandy on the couch, as Kevin glances up the stairs, then looks at Wayne and Sandy.)

KEVIN: Well...(gestures)...maybe for a second.

(Kevin approaches.)

WAYNE: Great.

(Wayne and Sandy separate slightly, and Kevin sits next to her. They look toward the TV off-screen and laugh.)

(Close shot of the TV. Sonny looks out toward the audience. Cher has a "I know better" look.)

SONNY: Being...being sexy is not that big of a deal.

(They look toward each other.)

CHER: How would you know?

(The audience laughs.)

(Shot of the three on the couch, laughing. Sandy looks at Kevin, then Wayne.)

SANDY: OK...best comedy team...

WAYNE: Abbott and Costello. (Gestures.)

SANDY: Laurel and Hardy. (Smiles.)

WAYNE: Martin and Lewis.

SANDY: The Three Stooges. (Giggles.)

(Wayne does a little hand-waving "Moe" imitation. Sandy laughs and taps him on the head.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen and smiling.)

WAYNE (V/O): Good stuff.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Wayne and Sandy as Wayne looks off and smiles, then looks at Sandy.)

I couldn't believe it. My brother, Wayne...

(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen and smiling.)

Was actually being funny. And charming.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Wayne and Sandy as Wayne frowns slightly.)

WAYNE: Uh, I think I gotta go to the can.

(Shot of all three as Wayne stands and hops over the back of the couch as Kevin watches. The camera moves in on Sandy and Kevin slightly as they look at the TV off-screen. Sandy giggles. Kevin giggles.)

SANDY: They are so good together.

(Close shot of the TV. Sonny and Cher are looking toward the audience.)

CHER: Let's hear it for Sonny Bono's little finger.

(Cher looks at Sonny as the audience laughs and applauds.)

(Shot of Sandy and Kevin looking at the TV off-screen.)

SANDY: I - I think it's because they're so in love.

KEVIN: Yeah, you can tell. (Gestures.) I mean, they really like being around each other.

SANDY: Yeah.

(Sandy takes a handful of popcorn from the bowl in her lap.)

And suddenly...I felt very relaxed with her.

(Kevin takes a handful of popcorn.)

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin glancing at her as he puts the popcorn in his mouth, then looking toward the TV off-screen.)

Maybe because it was I didn't have to ask her for a date.

SANDY: Do you think...

(Kevin glances at her, then forward. Sandy looks at him.)

SANDY: There's one special person for everyone?

(Kevin turns toward her, then glances off.)

KEVIN: I don't know.

(He looks at her.)

KEVIN: I think you can be happy with lots of people.

(Shot past Kevin of Sandy looking at him as he looks off.)

KEVIN: But...

(Kevin looks at her.)

KEVIN: There's probably one person out there.

(She giggles.)

SANDY: Yeah, that's what I think, too.

KEVIN: But...who knows if you're ever going to find that person?

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin glancing off.)

KEVIN: I mean, my girl could be in Alaska...

(Kevin looks at her.)

KEVIN: For all I know. (Smiles.)

(She giggles.)

SANDY: Yeah.

(Kevin glances toward the TV, then looks at Sandy as the TV audience laughs.)

KEVIN: Yeah.

(Close shot of Sandy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Sandy off-screen.)

It was a heavy conversation.

(Close shot of Sandy looking toward the TV off-screen, and laughing.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the TV off-screen.)

(Close shot of the TV. Sonny and Cher are looking at each other.)

CHER: That's easy - you're short.

(Shot of Sandy and Kevin as they laugh, as does the TV audience.)

SANDY: Oh, I love it when she makes those short jokes.

KEVIN: Yeah, it's funny. (Smiles.)

(Sandy looks at Kevin.)

SANDY: I don't think she's trying to be nasty or anything.

KEVIN: No! No...you can tell...(gestures)...she's just...being funny.

(Off camera, Cher starts singing "I Got You, Babe".)

"They say we're young and we don't know"

(Kevin and Sandy reach for the popcorn, and look at each other.)

"Won't find out till we grow"

(Sandy leans closer and they kiss briefly.)

"Well, I don't know if that's all true"

(Close shot past Sandy of Kevin as they pull apart.)

(Close shot past Kevin of Sandy looking at him as she straightens up.)

"'Cause you got me"

(Sound of the basement door opening.)

"And baby, I got you"

(Shot of Sandy and Kevin looking at the TV off-screen, and separating slightly as Wayne approaches from the stairs in the background. He kneels behind them and looks at the TV off-screen.)

WAYNE: Did I miss anything?

SANDY and KEVIN: No.

"Babe"
"I got you babe"

(Wayne smiles and laughs.)

"I got you babe"

Fade to

Int. Morning - Bathroom

(Shot of Kevin looking at himself in the mirror as a rooster cockadoodle-doos.)

The next morning I was feeling extremely guilty.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

I had kissed my brother's girlfriend. At the same time...

(Kevin wags his head and smiles very slightly.)

I kept playing it over and over again in my mind. Sandy had just...

(Kevin closes his eyes and puckers up.)

(Shot from behind Kevin as he leans toward the mirror, and Jack approaches and pauses in the doorway.)

Leaned over, and...

JACK (V/O): Ahem.

(Very close shot of Kevin opening his eyes, and looking toward Jack off-screen.)

(Shot of Kevin turning quickly toward Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: Uh...hi, Dad! (Smiles.)

(Shot of Jack looking at Kevin off-screen.)

JACK: Hi.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: I-I was, just...(gestures)...uh...

(Kevin looks toward the mirror.)

(Shot of Jack looking at the mirror off-screen.)

KEVIN (V/O): Seeing...if...

(Jack looks at Kevin off-screen.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: You, uh...(nods)...making sure that, uh...

(Kevin looks toward the mirror.)

KEVIN: I wasn't...(shrugs)...doing anything.

(He looks at Jack off-screen and smiles.)

(Shot of Jack smirking and nodding at Kevin off-screen.)

JACK: I didn't see anything.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: Oh.

(Kevin looks off.)

One thing was clear...

(Kevin glances at Jack off-screen, then quickly steps forward.)

I couldn't handle this thing alone.

(Shot past Kevin of Jack looking at Kevin, as Kevin passes him and exits, then looking off, growling, and shaking his head.)

Cut to

Int. Day - School Hallway

(Shot of Sandy in profile, standing at her open locker.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)

It was time to talk this out.

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin approaching her.)

Privately. One on one.

KEVIN: Hey, Sandy. (Smiles.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Sandy turning toward him, slightly surprised.)

SANDY: Hi, Kevin. (Smiles.)

(She closes her locker, revealing Wayne on the other side of it.)

WAYNE: Hey.

(Shot past Wayne and Sandy of Kevin looking at them as Wayne puts his arm around her.)

KEVIN: Hey. (Smiles.) How ya guys doin'?

(Shot of Sandy and Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)

SANDY: Great!

(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen, and frowning slightly.)

KEVIN: Well, I...better...(nods)...go to class.

(Wider shot of Wayne and Sandy as Kevin passes them and approaches the camera.)

And that was that.

(Wayne and Sandy turn and look after Kevin as the camera pans with him.)

The whole thing had meant nothing at all. In which case I felt relieved.

(Kevin smiles slightly.)

I felt happy.

(Kevin hurries up the stairs as the bell rings.)

(Shot down the stairway past some students as Kevin approaches.)

I felt completely ticked off.

(Sandy follows onto the middle landing.)

SANDY: Kevin?

(Kevin turns toward her.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at Sandy off-screen.)

KEVIN: Oh. Hi.

(Shot of Sandy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

SANDY: We need to talk.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Sandy off-screen.)

KEVIN: Yeah. Right.

(He approaches the camera.)

(Shot down the stairway as Kevin approaches Sandy. The camera moves in slightly.)

KEVIN: I mean, last night...

SANDY: We kissed.

KEVIN: Yeah...(nods)...we kissed.

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: And, I don't know if that meant anything or not.

(Shot past Kevin of Sandy looking at him.)

SANDY: Did it mean something to you?

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin looking at her and hesitating.)

KEVIN: Yeah, it meant something.

(Shot past Kevin of Sandy looking at him.)

SANDY: It meant something to me, too.

(She looks down.)

SANDY: It's just that, uh, Kevin...

(She looks at Kevin.)

SANDY: I'm dating your brother. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)

KEVIN: Yeah, I know.

(Close shot of Sandy sighing and glancing off.)

SANDY: And it makes me feel creepy.

(She looks at Kevin off-screen and shakes her head slightly.)

SANDY: I've done some strange things in my life, but, uh...(smiles)...going out with two brothers...

(She shakes her head slightly.)

It was weird.

(She bites her lip and looks down.)

Here she was, baring her soul to me...

(Close shot of Kevin looking off.)

And all I could think about was...what other strange things?

SANDY (V/O): The thing is...

(Kevin looks at Sandy off-screen.)

(Shot of both standing face to face.)

SANDY: I like Wayne. I mean, he's so...he's so...he's so basic.

KEVIN: Yeah. (Nods.) He's...basic. (Nods.)

(Shot past Kevin of Sandy smiling at him.)

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin looking at her. He frowns and shrugs slightly.)

KEVIN: And he's real nice.

(Shot past Kevin of Sandy looking at him.)

SANDY: It's just that I don't know what happened last night. You seemed so lonely.

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: Oh...

(Shot past Kevin of Sandy looking off.)

SANDY: And...

(She looks at him.)

SANDY: We were watching "Sonny and Cher", and...they were together, and...we kissed. It was almost like Sonny and Cher kissed.

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin look off and nodding slightly.)

(Shot past Kevin of Sandy looking at him.)

SANDY: This is a dumb conversation, huh?

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: Kinda.

(Close shot past Kevin of Sandy looking at him.)

SANDY: It's just all too crazy. (Smiles.)

KEVIN (V/O): Yeah...

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin looking at her.)

KEVIN: It is...

(Close shot of Sandy looking at Kevin off-screen and nodding. The camera moves in slowly.)

SANDY: Yeah, I think it would be best if we could, uh...just be friends.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)

KEVIN: You're right. (Nods.) I think friends is...definitely the way to go. (Nods.)

(Close shot of Sandy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

SANDY: Yeah. (Giggles.)

(She smiles and leans forward. Kevin passes the camera.)

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin as they kiss, then separate.)

KEVIN: Was that a friendship kiss?

(Close shot of Sandy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

SANDY: Yeah. (Smiles.) We should definitely just be friends. (Nods.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen as she passes the camera.)

(Shot of both in profile as they kiss.)

("I Got You, Babe" fades in as Kevin puts his arms on her shoulders.)

"They say we're young and we don't know"

Fade to

Ext. Day - Bleachers

(Shot of Kevin and Sandy sitting on the bleachers. They have their arms around each other as they kiss.)

For the rest of the day...

"Won't find out till we grow"

We were friends...all over school.

Fade to

Ext. Day - Courtyard

(Shot of Kevin and Sandy sitting on a bench. They have their arms around each other as they kiss.)

"Well, I don't know"

Cut to

Int. Day - Hallway

(Shot of Kevin leaning against the wall next to a door marked "JANITOR".)

"If that's all true"

(The door opens, and Sandy puts her hand on his shoulder and kisses him.)

"'Cause you got me"

(He steps through the doorway.)

Cut to

Int. Day - Janitor's Store Room

(Shot from above as Sandy backs up against the wall and Kevin approaches her.)

"And baby, I got you"

Sure, I knew it was wrong, but...

(Sandy drops her books as Kevin puts his arms around her and they kiss.)

I didn't care.

Cut to

Int. Evening - Kitchen Table

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Jack off-screen. The music ends abruptly.)

WAYNE: Dad? Can I borrow a couple bucks?

(Wide shot past Norma of all around the table as Kevin looks at Wayne.)

Until that Friday.

WAYNE: Well, I'm takin' Sandy to the dance, tonight.

JACK: Oh...(Nods.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen, then his plate.)

Things were getting a little complicated.

(Kevin looks at Wayne off-screen.)

(Close shot of Norma looking at Kevin off-screen.)

NORMA: Are you going, Kevin?

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Norma off-screen.)

To put it mildly.

WAYNE (V/O): Are you kidding?

(Kevin looks toward Wayne off-screen.)

(Close shot of Wayne smiling at Norma off-screen.)

WAYNE: Butthead can't get a date. (Laughs.)

(Wayne looks at Kevin off-screen and winks.)

KEVIN (V/O): Yeah...

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Norma off-screen.)

KEVIN: I'm goin'.

NORMA (V/O): Oh, well that's good.

(Close shot of Norma looking at Kevin off-screen.)

NORMA: Maybe you'll meet someone there. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin frowning and glancing down.)

If only she knew.

(Close shot of Norma looking at Jack off-screen.)

NORMA: You know...your father and I met at a school dance. Do you remember that, Jack? (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Jack glancing at Norma off-screen as he forks his food.)

JACK: Uh-huh...(Smiles.)

(Close shot of Norma looking at Jack off-screen.)

NORMA: It was the last time you talked to Dick Claiborne.

(Close shot of Kevin frowning slightly at Norma off-screen.)

Great.

(Kevin sighs.)

I'm stuck in this terrible situation...

(Kevin glances toward Wayne off-screen.)

And my mother was gonna relive old times.

(Kevin glances toward Jack off-screen.)

(Close shot of Norma looking at Kevin, then Wayne off-screen.)

NORMA: He was your father's best friend. (Nods.)

(Norma looks at Jack off-screen.)

NORMA: Dick took me to the dance...but I saw your father there.

(Close shot of Jack looking off and smiling slightly.)

NORMA (V/O): Of course I had seen him before, but...

(Close shot of Norma looking at Jack off-screen.)

NORMA: He was in a new suit. Skinny as a rail.

(Wide shot of all from behind Norma as Kevin and Wayne look at each other and chuckle.)

NORMA (V/O): Anyway...

(Close shot of Norma looking at Wayne and Kevin off-screen.)

NORMA: They had this terrible fight over me, and...they haven't talked since. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Wayne chewing and frowning at Norma off-screen.)

WAYNE: So? (Shrugs.)

(Shot of Jack looking toward Wayne off-screen.)

JACK: So...it was worth it.

(He looks at Norma off-screen and winks.)

(Close shot of Norma smiling at Jack off-screen.)

And for some reason...

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

Suddenly, I was listening. Had he really said that?

(Close shot of Jack. Special effect of the film rewinding, then playing forward. Jack's voice is distorted very low.)

JACK: So...it was worth it.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

He had.

(Kevin looks at Norma off-screen.)

And as those words rang in my head like a gong...I made up my mind.


Int. Evening - Kevin's Bedroom

(Shot of Kevin looking at himself in the mirror as he tucks in his shirt.)

No matter what it did to Wayne, I would have to be with Sandy. She was definitely worth it.

(Shot past Kevin combing his hair as Wayne approaches from his room and pauses in the doorway.)

WAYNE: Hey, butthead.

(Wayne spreads his hands dramatically.)

WAYNE: What do you think of the shirt? (Smiles.)

KEVIN: It looks cool.

WAYNE: I'll change. (Smiles.)

(Wayne approaches the mirror as Kevin sits on the bed and picks up a shoe. The camera moves back slightly.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

I began to build my case.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Wayne at the mirror, adjusting his collar.)

Look at him.

(Wayne leans forward and frowns.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

He didn't deserve her.

(Shot of Wayne squeezing a zit on his chin.)

He was disgusting.

(Wayne frowns and makes faces as he squeezes.)

"Basic"? He was subhuman. He was a cretin. He always picked on me...

(Shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

Took my stuff...treated me like dirt. The guy never offered me...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Wayne at the mirror, fluffing his collar.)

One thing in his entire life.

(Wayne nods at himself, then turns toward Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: You need a ride for tonight? (Smiles.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

Except for a ride.

KEVIN: You're talking to me? (Gestures.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: Yeah! You can come with Sandy and me.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

KEVIN: I don't know, Wayne. (Shrugs.)

(Shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: Come on...it'll be fun.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

It was horrible. Here I was, trying to knock the guy down...

(Shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)

And all he was being was...

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

Nice.

KEVIN: You really like her, huh?

(Close shot of Wayne looking off in a double-take, then looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: Duh...Yeah. (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

And then he said something I'll never forget.

WAYNE (V/O): Sandy...

(Close shot of Wayne looking off, then at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: Makes me better than I am.

(Wayne looks down.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne resting his elbow on the chest of drawers, then looking off suddenly.)

WAYNE: Whatever that means.

(He looks at Kevin.)

WAYNE: Uh...I'm leaving in a half hour.

(He gestures at himself.)

WAYNE: Be ready. (Smiles.)

(Wayne exits.)

(Close shot of Kevin watching Wayne exit off-screen.)

And then I realized who the cretin really was. It was me.

Cut to

Ext. Evening - Parking Lot

("If" - Bread plays as Wayne's car approaches slowly. The camera moves over past some walking students, as Wayne turns into an empty parking space.)

I was lower than a cretin. I was lower than subhuman. I was yeast.

(Wayne stops the car in front of the camera. Kevin is in the center of the back seat.)

(Close shot past Sandy as Wayne turns to her and sings (badly) along with the radio.)

WAYNE: "If a picture paints a thousand words..."

(Shot past Wayne of Sandy looking at him.)

WAYNE (V/O): "Then why can't I paint you..."

(She smiles slightly.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen, and speaking softly to himself.)

KEVIN: Don't do this.

(He looks off.)

(Shot past Wayne of Sandy looking at him as he messes up some words of the song.)

(Close shot past Sandy of Wayne looking at her.)

WAYNE: "The you I've grown to know..."

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

As I sat there, feeling the romance in that car...

(Kevin glances off.)

I knew I had been kidding myself.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Sandy looking at Wayne off-screen.)

I could never go through with this.

(Close shot past Sandy as Wayne turns forward.)

WAYNE: Hmmm...

(Wayne turns toward her and smiles, slightly embarrassed.)

WAYNE: Let's boogie.

(Wayne reaches for the door handle.)

SANDY (V/O): Wayne?

(Shot past Wayne of Sandy looking at him.)

SANDY: Let's just stay in the car a minute. I-I need to talk to you.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Sandy off-screen.)

Unfortunately, Sandy could.

(Kevin glances between Sandy and Wayne off-screen.)

KEVIN: Uh, yeah! (Smiles.) Let's all stay.

(Shot of Sandy looking over her shoulder at Kevin off-screen.)

SANDY: Kevin, I need to talk to Wayne alone.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Sandy off-screen.)

KEVIN: Well, I don't mind staying. Really.

(Close shot past Sandy of Wayne looking at her.)

WAYNE: He likes to hang around me. (Smiles.)

(Shot past Wayne of Sandy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

SANDY: Kevin...

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Sandy, then Wayne off-screen as he starts to rise.)

(Wider shot from the side of the car as Kevin stands up, hops out, and walks away. Sandy turns toward Wayne.)

SANDY: Um...

(Kevin turns over hs shoulder and looks at them.)

"If a picture paints a thousand words"

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Sandy and Wayne looking at each other.)

I couldn't hear what they were saying. But I didn't have to.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)

I knew what it meant.

Cut to

Later in the Gym

(Shot of the music DJ, dressed as a scarecrow, holding an album cover and dancing as "Green River" - Creedence Clearwater Revival starts. The camera pulls back across the crowded dance floor.)

"Well, take me back down"

(Close shot of Kevin walking past other students, glancing off.)

"Where cool water flow, yeah"

I walked around in a daze...

"Let me remember things I love"

Worried that Sandy had broken up with him.

(Kevin pauses in front of the camera and looks off.)

Worried that she hadn't.

PURDLE (V/O): Hey.

(Kevin looks over his shoulder. The focus shifts to Purdle in the background.)

PURDLE: Kevin...

"Stoppin' at the log where catfish bite"

(Purdle and Randy approach Kevin with two girls.)

PURDLE: How ya doin'?

"Walkin' along the river road at night"

(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)

KEVIN: OK. (Smiles.)

(Shot of Purdle, Randy and the girls.)

"Barefoot girls dancin' in the moonlight"

(The girls look at each other.)

GIRL1: Let's go.

GIRL2: Uh-huh. (Nods.)

(The girls exit.)

(Shot past Randy and Purdle of Kevin looking after the girls off-screen, then turning toward the guys.)

KEVIN: Your dates are cool. (Smiles.)

RICKY:(V/O): Oh, thanks...

(Shot of Purdle and Ricky looking at Kevin off-screen.)

RICKY: I hope they come back...(Smiles.)

(Purdle smoothes his hair.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)

"I can hear the bull frog callin' me"

(Kevin looks past them.)

"Wonder if my rope's still hangin' to the tree"

(Shot of Sandy standing alone, and looking off.)

(Shot past Ricky and Purdle of Kevin looking at them.)

KEVIN: Well, I'll see you guys later, OK?

(Kevin approaches the camera.)

"Love to kick my feet way down the shallow water"

(Shot of Purdle and Ricky as Kevin passes between them.)

(Shot of Kevin approaching the camwra, which rolls back.)

KEVIN: Sandy.

(The camera pulls back past Sandy and stops.)

SANDY (V/O): Kevin.

KEVIN: You can't break up with Wayne.

"Shoo fly, dragon fly, get back to your mother"

(Shot past Kevin of Sandy looking at him.)

SANDY: I just did. I had to.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)

"Pick up a flat rock"

KEVIN: What'd he say?

(Close shot of Sandy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

"Skip it across Green River"

SANDY: Well, he felt bad. So did I.

(Close shot of Kevin glancing off, then looking at her off-screen.)

KEVIN: Does he know?

(Close shot of Sandy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

KEVIN (V/O): About us?

(She shakes her head.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)

KEVIN: We shouldn't have done this. (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Sandy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

SANDY: Kevin, I really want to be with you. (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)

(Close shot of Sandy looking at Kevin off-screen, then sighing and looking off.)

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin looking over his shoulder in the general direction Sandy is looking.)

(Shot of Wayne sitting in the bleachers, sipping from a cup and looking down.)

(Shot past Sandy of Kevin looking toward Wayne off-screen, then looking at Sandy.)

KEVIN: I gotta go talk to him. (Gestures.)

(Kevin walks off.)

(Close shot of Sandy looking after Kevin off-screen. "Green River" fades. "I Shall Be Released" - The Band (?) starts.)

(Shot across the dance floor of Wayne in the bleachers as Kevin approaches him.)

"They say everything can be replaced"

KEVIN: Hey.

(Wayne looks at him.)

KEVIN: How ya doin'?

(Wayne looks down.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking down and frowning.)

(Shot of both as they look at each other.)

"They say every distance is not near"

KEVIN: Look, Wayne...

(Kevin frowns and sits down.)

KEVIN: Listen, I...

(Kevin looks forward.)

"So, I remember every face"

WAYNE: I broke up with Sandy.

(Wayne looks down as Kevin looks at him.)

KEVIN: What?! (Frowns.)

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne looking down.)

WAYNE: Dumped her.

KEVIN: You did?

"Of every man who put me here"

(Wayne frowns and nods slightly.)

WAYNE: Yeah. (Shrugs.) It wasn't working out.

(He looks at Kevin and shrugs.)

WAYNE: She wasn't my type.

(Wayne looks down.)

"I see my light come shinin'"

(Shot past Wayne of Kevin looking at him.)

WAYNE: The thing is...

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne looking at him.)

WAYNE: I don't mean to get philosophical...

(Wayne looks forward as he swallows some air, then burps.)

"From the west down to the east"

(Shot past Wayne looking down of Kevin looking off.)

WAYNE: But I think...

(They look at each other.)

WAYNE: Even though she's hurt...

(Shot of both.)

WAYNE: And...

(Wayne looks at his cup as Kevin looks at him.)

"Any day now"

WAYNE: Even though she feels...that nobody loves her...

(Close shot of Wayne looking down and frowning.)

"Any day now"

WAYNE: And she's all alone...

"I shall be released"

WAYNE: It's...better if it ended...fast.

"They say every man must need protection"

WAYNE: Because she...(sighs)...has a better chance of gettin' over it...

(Wayne looks at Kevin off-screen. The camera pans over slowly.)

"They say that every man must fall"

WAYNE: Someday.

(The camera pans to Kevin, who looks forward, then looks toward Sandy off-screen.)

"Yet, I swear I see my reflection"

(Shot of Sandy looking toward Kevin off-screen, then waving slightly.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Wayne off-screen.)

"Somewhere so high above this wall"

As I sat there...

(Kevin looks toward Sandy off-screen.)

(Shot of Sandy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

Listening to my brother's pain...

(Sandy looks down.)

And the lies he told...

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Sandy off-screen.)

To cover it...I didn't know what to do.

(Shot of Sandy looking off.)

"I see my light come shinin'"

I knew I wanted to be with Sandy.

(A guy approaches and taps her on the shoulder.)

Holding her in my arms...

(She glances at Kevin off-screen, then says something to the guy.)

Dancing with her.

(They start to dance.)

"From the west down to the east"

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Sandy, then Wayne off-screen.)

But in the end...

(The camera pulls back slowly as Kevin looks at Sandy off-screen.)

"Any day now"

I stayed with my brother...

(Kevin looks toward Wayne, who is frowning slightly and looking down.)

"Any day now"

Because, after all...

"I shall be"

He was...

"Released"

My brother.

(Kevin looks forward. Wayne elbows him and looks at him.)

"Now yonder stands a man in this lonely crowd"

(Wayne looks forward and shakes his head.)

WAYNE: Butthead.

(Kevin looks off.)

KEVIN: Buttbrain. (Frowns.)

"A man who swears he's not to blame"

(Wayne looks at Kevin, who is looking forward, then looks forward himself as the camera continues to pull back across the dance floor.)

"All day long I hear him shouting so loud"

(Wayne looks at Kevin, then forward, and sighs.)

"Just crying out that he was framed"

(They look at each other, and Wayne nods slightly with the music.)

"I see my light come shinin'"
"From the west down to the east"
"Any day now, any day now"
"I shall be released"

Fade to
CLOSING CREDITS

Supporting Cast
Sandy Tyler - Carla Gugino
Purdle - Parker Jacobs

Music
"I Got You" - Sonny and Cher
"If" - Bread
"I Shall Be Released" - Bob Dylan > The Band



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3/12/05 16:50