Mr. Arthur A. Collins

(Ep 25 - "Math Class")

Take your seats and open your textbooks to unit one. Page sixteen. We will begin...with the introduction to variables.

Who

My name is Mr. Collins. If we use a symbol, such as "X" to represent the unspecified member of the set...

In a Venn diagram. "S" is the replacement symbol for the variable "X".

If the union of sets "S" and "T" is negative two and zero, what is the intersection?

(A girl timidly raises her hand.)

Yes.

Mr. Collins, how did you learn to draw such neat circles?

It is not neccessary to draw perfect circles to do these problems correctly - it will not affect your grade either way.

(Harold raises his hand. Mr. Collins points to him.)

Is this like stuff that you could use to figure out Tom Seaver's earned-run average?

No...That would be simple arithmetic.

(Another boy holds his arm up enthusiastically.)

Ooh, ooh.

(Mr. Collins smiles slightly and turns back to the board.)

The answer is the set...(writes)...of negative two...and zero. We further illustrate...

(Fade to later. Mr. Collins is writing on the board. He has taken off his jacket.)

To describe the relationship between set "B"...

Of positive numbers. Now, these numbers...and their negatives in set "A"...make up the set of rational numbers.

(A boy turns toward Kevin.)

Psst. What page are we on?

No talking! Any rational number...

(Kevin looks toward Paul and gestures slightly. Mr. Collins moves closer.)

Yes? Do you have a problem?

Um...No.

(The bell rings. Students stand up.)

For tomorrow...I would like you to do problems one through ten on page eighteen.

Boy, what's the story with this guy? He's gonna kill us.

Nah, don't worry about him.

"D"?

Here are the results of your pop-quiz.

"D"?!

(The bell rings, and students start to rise.)

For homework...problems fifteen through twenty-five, on page twenty.

(Paul approaches Kevin.)

Kev - you comin' to lunch?

In a minute - I have to talk to Collins.

OK...but hurry up - Sloppy Joes today. (Exits.)

Hi. (Smiles.)

(Mr. Collins continues to make notes.)

Yes?

Um...I have a question about my quiz.

Yes?

About the grade...(Nods.)

(Mr. Collins looks at Kevin slightly puzzled.)

Well, it's a "D". (Smiles.)

Yes, it is.

Well, I...think it might be wrong.

(Kevin smiles and shrugs slightly.)

Well, let's take a look.

(Mr. Collins puts on his glasses, rests his forehead against his hand and studies the quiz.)

You're right...

(Kevin smiles.)

(Mr. Collins marks the quiz.)

Number five should be...

(Mr. Collins hands the quiz back.)

Thank you for calling that to my attention.

Oh...

(Kevin starts to walk away slowly, then pauses.)

Mr. Collins?!

What?

Well...

If you're having a problem, I run a help group after schools...on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

No, it-it's just I don't think of myself as a "D" student.

Really?

Well, it's just that it's a little unusual, don't you think? I mean, a quiz on the second day of school?

*

What I'm saying is that...I wasn't as prepared as I might have been.

*

Well...I don't think this is representative of the work I usually do.

Then I look forward to seeing your results on future quizzes. Anything else?

No. That's fine.

Mr. Arnold?

Yes?

The intersection of sets "B" and "C"...

Um...."X" plus four?

Incorrect. Mr. Pfeiffer?

One and two?

Correct. Expressed as sets...that means "X" represents the set...

(Kevin looks in the window and frowns.)

(Shot of one girl and three boys, all looking bored.)

(Kevin takes a few steps backwards, then turns. Mr. Collins is standing in the hallway, and Kevin stops in front of him.)

Are you joining us?

(Kevin backs away slowly.)

Uh...no. I just...left something in your class. My pencil. (Smiles.)

I'm giving a major test next week. It would be a good opportunity...for you to bring up your grade.

Yeah. Well, uh...thanks for telling me, but uh...I really have to be going. (Smiles.)

(Mr. Collins looks at Kevin, then opens the door.)

(Kevin turns in his test after the other students leave.)

You don't have to grade it. I got an "F". I didn't answer any of the questions. I don't understand math. I'm - I'm lousy at it. I - I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.

Good.

Huh?

Maybe now you're ready to start.

Well wait a minute. I just told you - I failed!

There will be another test in two weeks.

(In class, after Kevin has gotten some homework help from Jack.)

Tells us for each real non-zero number, "A", there exists a real number, one over "A", such that "A" times one over "A" equals one.

Kevin. Can you simplify the quotient?

Um...

One-fifth.

No. Try again.

Negative one-fifth.

Correct. Now you can also simplify...by using the absolute value of factors.

(Fade to evening in Kevin's room. Kevin is at his desk.)

(Kevin sighs.)

(Jack is holding Kevin's book, and approaches him. He rests his hands on the chair and the desk, and looks at Kevin's work.)

See also Full Transcript

(Ep 32 - "Math Class Squared")

And that is how we solve equations involving a single radical.

Questions? Mr. McCormick.

Is there any of this stuff we should know for the test?

All of it.

I wouldn't teach it if I didn't think you should know it.

I suggest in particular that you study the equation on the board. That is likely to be on your quiz.

Mr. Arnold. Do you find something amusing?

Uh, no. Nothing.

(Bell rings.)

For tomorrow, review unit 14 "Roots and Radicals".

What a doofus.

(Kevin found out some guys are cheating on math tests.)

Have your pencils ready - books off the desk. You have twenty minutes to complete this quiz.

Begin.

(Mr. Collins hovers around McCormick.)

(Mr. Collins walks away.)

Huh?

Mr. Arnold. Is something distracting you?

No, sir.

Then I would suggest you concentrate on your own work.

Yessir.

A

I don't understand. I mean, I got a 72. Last week I got a 72 and it was a "C".

Let me see this. Hmmm...he must be grading on the curve. It's kinda a parabolic way of grading. Imagine...the grade distibution of your class - it's like a bell -

Paul, I know what a curve is. So what you're saying is...if there were some students who were getting "C"'s and "D"'s last week, and this week were getting "A"'s and "B"'s...

That's it! That could affect your grade!

Great...

But I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure it's just temporary.

What makes you think that?

Well, the entire grade average doesn't change over night - that much is

(Cut to math class. Dramatic music plays as Mr. Collins approaches.)

(Mr. Collins hesitates, then walks past McCormick again.)

(Sotto voce): Oh, come

(Bell rings.)

Mr. Collins?

Yes?

It's about the quizzes, sir.

What about them?

Well...do they always have to come from the book?

That is what I told the class at the beginning of the term.

Yeah, well...isn't that a little bit predictable?

Kevin? Are you having a problem?

Uh, no! It's just this...curve, sir. Well, don't you think it's a little unfair?

No, I don't think so.

Well...it just seems to me that...this system might not be right...for...this class, anyway.

Thank you for your feedback, Mr. Arnold. But I would suggest that you not concern yourself with the rest of the class.

Huh?

Every problem...contains its own solution, Mr. Arnold.

Is there anything else, Mr. Arnold?

No.

(Cut to the hallway.)

Hey, McCormick!

What?!

How about those Mets?

(Fade to the library, as a boy passes Kevin a paper.)

(In class, Kevin slides the paper out. Mr. Collins is not watching the class.)

(Cut to home as Norma sees Kevin's quiz.)

A

See? When you apply yourself, you get what you

(Another day in class.)

An

Mr. Arnold. May I speak to you for a moment? I've just been looking at your grades.

Yessir...

You shot up...from a 72, two weeks ago, to an 85, to an 87, to a 92, and today, a 96. Now, wouldn't you say that was pretty remarkable?

Well...I guess so...

I've been thinking about what to do about it. I'd like to put you in my honors math class.

Ex-excuse me?

We'd have to juggle your schedule - but I think we could manage that. It's a very

Sounds like fun...(Frowns.)

Good. You can start tomorrow.

(Cut to advanced math class.)

This is gonna be great, huh? (Smiles.)

In order to remove the denominators...we multiply both sides of the equation by...five "X", times "X" minus three. And the result is...

Of course, when we solve quadratic equations by completing the square...it is necessary to make one member of the equation...a perfect square trinomial.

(Kevin frowns and taps the shoulder of the girl in front of him.)

Both sides of the equation...

Did you get what he just said?

When you solve quadratic equations by completing the square...you have to make one member of the equation...a perfect square trinomial. (Smiles.)

Thus, we get "X" minus two squared, and...

Yeah.

Gives us "X" equals "X" squared...

That's uh...that's what I though he said.

That's four "X", plus four. Alright...who can solve the equation?

Kevin Arnold.

Uh...uh...

(Other students raise their hands.)

Put your hands down. Mr. Arnold?

(Later in the restroom.)

(McCormick enters, hassled by his friends.)

Hey, McCormick! I got a problem.

Hey, man - I got my own problems.

What are you talking about?

Didn't you hear? We all got

It's Collins, man. He's totally out-to-lunch. He's

(At home, Kevin looks at his quiz on the refrigerator.)

(Kevin is flipping though a comic book in his room.)

(Kevin tosses the comic on Wayne's bed.)

(Kevin looks at himself in the mirror.)

(Cut to math classroom. Kevin and Mr. Collins are alone.)

Mr. Collins?

Had enough?

But...how - ?

Every problem has its own solution, Mr. Arnold.

(Cut to another day in math class.)

Alright, now, please take your seats and settle down.

You may begin.

Mr. Arnold. Do you have a question?

No. No. (Smiles.)

(Kevin erases his answer and rewrites it.)

See also Full Transcript

Thanks to Jeff Kindig for the final scene.

(Ep 43 - "Goodbye")

(Camera zooms in slowly on an open yearbook, then closer shot as it pans across pictures of teachers.)

(Fade to Mr. Collins writing on the blackboard.)

To find the quotient plus the remainder, you divide the polynomials. We shall find that...

Alright...

Who can give me...the quotient?

3X+2Y?

No.

2Y squared?

No...anybody else?

(Kevin and others raise hands.)

Mr. Arnold.

2X+Y?

Correct.

And the remainder?

Uh...six?

The answer...is...12Y+3.

(Bell rings, class starts to rise.)

For your homework...study Unit 17, Section 4. These are your last week's quizzes, please pass them back.

Mr. Collins?

Mr. Arnold.

I was...just...wondering, about...how you thought I was doing. I mean, generally. Overall. In math.

(Mr. Collins looks down toward his gradebook, and slides it toward himself.)

Let's check...according to my records, you've been getting..."C"'s. Is that correct?

Well...yes.

(Mr. Collins looks back to the book, closes it, and tosses it toward the rest of his things. He puts his hands together on the desk, and looks at Kevin.)

Was there anything else?

Well...no, except...would you say I'm doing well? Or not so well?

How do you feel you're doing?

Well...I guess "C"'s are better than "D"'s...even though they're not as good as "B"'s...or "A"'s.

I see. Thank you for sharing that with me.

(Mr. Collins smiles faintly and looks down.)

(Bell rings.)

(To class): Take your seats and open your text books to Unit 17. (To Kevin): Anything else?

No. Nothing.

(Mr. Collins is handing out quizzes.)

These are the results of Tuesday's quizzes.

"B"! I got a "B"!

(Bell rings.)

Your mid-term exam...will be two weeks from tomorrow. I suggest you begin studying for it now.

(Students exit. Kevin looks at his test and smiles.)

Mr. Collins?

Yes?

(Kevin smiles and holds his quiz up.)

A "B"!

Yes. I know.

(Mr. Collins exits.)

(Cut to the quad.)

Mr. Collins?

I've been thinking about what you asked me, Mr. Arnold.

You have?

I believe I understand.

And, I think I can help.

I beg you pardon?

There's not much time. We can start this afternoon.

Start what?

Preparing for your mid-term examination. We have two weeks and a lot of ground to cover.

But I didn't say anything about an exam!

We can work in the afternoon, after school.

Wait a minute!

An opportunity to do your best. Isn't that why you came to me? You said...a "C" is better than a "D", but not as good as an "A".

Well, sure, but...I didn't mean that -

I think you can get that "A", Mr. Arnold. And I think you want to.

An "A"? In math?

Look -

Let me know what you decide.

Mr. Collins?

I'll never

That's up to you, Mr. Arnold.

(Mr. Collins is looking off in thought as Kevin opens the door and enters. Mr. Collins turns toward him. Kevin sighs.)

When do we start?

(Fade to wide shot of the classroom. Mr. Collins is writing on the blackboard. Kevin sits at a front-row desk.)

...the lowest common denominator...

What law do we apply?

The commutative law.

Not in this case. The commutative law says...

(Cut to on the bus as Kevin is studying his "Algebra 1" textbook.)

(Fade to Kevin writing on the chalkboard.)

That's correct, Mr. Arnold.

(Kevin did not find Mr. Collins in class. Now they are in the parking lot. Mr Collins is apparently leaving.)

Mr. Collins?!

Mr. Arnold.

I thought you...we're supposed to -

I'm afraid I can't make it today. I have an appointment.

Oh. (Frowns.)

Well, then, I guess I'll see you tomorrow.

I'm afraid I won't be here tomorrow either.

Oh.

We still have six more units to cover.

I'm afraid you'll have to prepare on your own, Mr. Arnold. You still have functions and...real numbers to review. Ah, that's units twelve, through, uh...

I can't do those on my own!

I suggest you try. They will be on the examination.

Look, Mr. Collins...(smiles)...this whole thing was your idea. You...(gets serious)...we kinda had a deal. Didn't we?

I'm sorry, I have to go. I'll be back for the exam on Friday.

Wait!

I -

I thought you were my friend.

Not your friend, Mr. Arnold. Your

Oh...

(Fade to class. Mr. Collins is handing out quizzes.)

Put your books on the floor, and your pencils on your desk.

You have the entire period to complete the exam. Begin.

(Close shot of Kevin's test. He has already written "Let him get out and walk", and writes "Who cares?", "So what?", draws a "smiley face", 4 question marks, and "Factor this!" to the questions. Bell rings. Students start to get up.)

Your time is up. Please bring your exams to the desk.

(All the students have left as Kevin approaches Mr. Collins and hands him the test.)

Mr. Arnold.

(Mr. Collins looks down at Kevin's paper then at Kevin with disappointment. Kevin looks at Mr. Collins, then walks off.)

Kevin...

(Fade to the livingroom.)

(Fade to Kevin walking the hallway).

(Kevin stops at the faculty lounge door.)

(Kevin knocks on the door. A woman opens the door.)

I need to speak to Mr. Collins. Please.

Just a moment. (Exits).

(Mr. Diperna appears in the doorway.)

Arnold. Can I help you?

I'm, uh, looking for Mr. Collins.

I'm afraid he's not here.

Well, could I leave him a message?

Um...Mr. Collins passed away this morning. He, uh...he was at home. We just got the bad news. He's been not well for awhile. It was his heart. I'm sorry to have to break the news to you, now. I'll be making a formal announcement later in the day. Meanwhile, I'll be taking over most of his classes.

(In the cafeteria as Kevin, Hobson and Paul are getting loud.)

Gentlemen?! What's going on here?

Nothing. It's nothing.

(Mr. Diperna looks at Kevin.)

See me in my classroom. Three o'clock. Sharp.

Forty lashes, Arnold. Nice goin'.

(Cut to the classroom. Kevin pauses in the doorway as the bell rings.)

Arnold. Come in.

Yes, sir.

Something odd has occurred. Perhaps you can shed some light on it.

Mid-term examinations. All of them. All of them, that is...except yours.

What?

Apparently, Mr. Collins graded these tests the weekend that, uh...well, in any event, it seems yours was misplaced.

Oh...

The question now is what do we do about it. You need a grade. Do you have any suggestions?

No, sir.

Well...Collins did.

(Mr. Diperna holds up a blank test, with Kevin's name on it.)

Fifty minutes, Arnold. You may begin.

(Fade to later. Kevin hands his test to Mr. Diperna.)

You don't have to grade it. It's an "A".

(Kevin collects his things and walks toward the door.)

Mr. Arnold.

(Kevin pauses and looks over his shoulder.)

Good job, Mr. Collins.

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4/24/05 20:15