Episode 25 - "Math Class"



OPENING SEQUENCE



(Clip of Earth from space from an Apollo spacecraft under "burn".)

ASTRONAUT (V/O): Houston, we have a preliminary...

The transition from summer to fall is a tricky one.

(The spacecraft begins to rotate clockwise, shifting the horizon of Earth.)

Like astronauts returning from space...

(Clip of the space capsule suspended by three parachutes as it splashes down in the ocean.)

We had to re-enter the atmosphere of school carefully, so the sudden change in pressure wouldn't kill us.

(Clips of the Houston Mission Control crew applauding.)

(Clip of several Houston Mission Control crew being congratulated.)

MALE (V/O): You brought 'em in beautifully.

Cut to

Int. Day - School Hallway

(Shot of Kevin and Paul walking up the noisy hallway toward the camera, which rolls backward with them. They turn a corner, walking away from the camera.)

Still, the beginning of eighth grade looked like it was gonna be a smooth landing.

(Shot of Kevin and Paul walking toward the camera as it backs up past two smaller seventh-graders looking up slightly puzzled. One holds a piece of paper.)

We weren't the lowest men on the totem pole anymore. We were men...among seventh-grade boys.

(Kevin and Paul pause and smile at each other as the two kids walk away between them, then continue toward the camera.)

(Shot from behind Kevin and Paul as they approach the bottom of the stairs. They pause and turn toward two girls as they approach from the side. The girls look at Kevin and Paul, then exit slightly embarrassed past the camera. Kevin and Paul turn and look after them.)

More importantly, we were men among seventh-grade girls.

(They turn toward each other and smile.)

(The bell rings.)

(They run up the steps.)

("ABC" - Jackson 5 starts and plays throughout the next few scenes.)

Horizontal Wipe to

Classroom

(Shot from behind an empty teacher's desk toward the class. The camera rises and moves forward, revealing the students sitting on the floor, and the teacher leaning against the desk.)

In social-studies, we talked about Woodstock.

(Close shot of the slightly hippyish female teacher crossing her arms and mouthing "...it was incredible...(gestures)...And I could feel the love"...)

Cut to

Int. Day - Gym

(Shot from behind two boys of Mr. Cutlip standing next to hanging ropes.)

MR. CUTLIP: Men...

(The camera starts to move sideways.)

MR. CUTLIP: These...are ropes.

(Shot of Kevin and Paul looking at Mr. Cutlip off-screen.)

In gym, we were introduced to the obvious.

(Close shot of Mr. Cutlip as he reaches up and tugs on the ropes. He frowns and looks at his hand.)

(Shot from behind Mr. Cutlip of the squad of boys, as he puts his hand in his mouth and pops a blister.)

Horizontal Wipe to

Int. Day - French Class

(Shot of a woman teacher standing next to a slide projector.)

In French...

(Shot from behind the teacher of the screen, as a slide of Paris is shown.)

Mrs. Martinson showed us slides from her trip to Paris.

(Close shot of the screen showing l'Arc de Triomphe lit up at night.)

(The slide changes to one of the teacher sitting on a park bench, holding flowers and smiling, as a Frenchman leans close near her neck.)

(Close shot of the teacher looking slightly embarrassed.)

MRS. MARTINSON: Wrong slide...

(Shot of the slide of the teacher and Frenchman. The camera pans down to Kevin as he turns toward Mrs. Martinson off-screen and smiles.)

Yep - everything was looking A-OK.

(Close shot of Mrs. Martinson looking embarrassed and glancing off.)

All systems "go".

Cut to

Int. Day - Math Class

(High wide shot from the front of the classroom. Mr. Collins is standing in front of his desk as students find their seats.)

(Shot of Kevin and Paul as they stand and talk animatedly. Other students are standing around as well.)

Until fourth period.

MR. COLLINS (V/O): Take your seats and open your textbooks...

("ABC" - Jackson 5 ends.)

(Kevin, Paul and the others look toward Mr. Collins off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): To unit one. Page sixteen.

(Shot past Kevin and Paul of Mr. Collins resting on the edge of his desk.)

MR. COLLINS: We will begin...with the introduction to variables.

(Mr. Collins walks around his desk.)

(Kevin frowns at Paul.)

KEVIN: Who is this guy?

MR. COLLINS: My name is Mr. Collins.

(He begins to write on the board.)

MR. COLLINS: If we use a symbol, such as "X" to represent the unspecified...

(Shot of the class as Kevin, Paul and others take their seats.)

(Close shot of Kevin hurriedly opening his book.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): Member of the set...

So much for introductions.

MR. COLLINS (V/O): In a Venn diagram.

(Shot of Mr. Collins drawing the second circle of the diagram, and then letters.)

MR. COLLINS: "S" is the replacement symbol for the variable "X".

(He draws more numbers in the intersection.)

We'd never seen anything like him. He was a math machine.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

All math...all the time.

(Shot of Mr. Collins turning toward the class.)

With the chalk marks to prove it.

MR. COLLINS: If the union of sets "S" and "T" is negative two and zero, what is the intersection?

(Wide shot of the class.)

Faced with this implacable force...

(A girl timidly raises her hand.)

We rose to the challenge.

(Shot past the girl's hand of Mr. Collins pointing at her.)

MR. COLLINS: Yes.

(Closer shot of the girl as she lowers her hand.)

GIRL: Mr. Collins, how did you learn to draw such neat circles?

(Kevin leans out slightly from behind her and looks at her.)

Each in our own way.

(Shot of Mr. Collins.)

MR. COLLINS: It is not necessary to draw perfect circles to do these problems correctly - it will not affect your grade either way.

(Shot past Kevin as Harold raises his hand.)

But nothing distracted him.

(Shot of Mr. Collins gesturing toward him off-screen.)

(Shot past Kevin of Harold.)

HAROLD: Is this like stuff that you could use to figure out Tom Seaver's earned-run average?

Not the amazing Mets...

MR. COLLINS (V/O): No...

(Shot of Mr. Collins.)

MR. COLLINS: That would be simple arithmetic.

(Wide shot of the class.)

(Closer shot of a boy holding his arm up enthusiastically.)

BOY: Ooh, ooh.

Not even the cries of the tortured.

(Shot of Mr. Collins smiling slightly and turning back to the board.)

MR. COLLINS: The answer is the set...(writes)...of negative two...and zero.

(Shot of the boy dropping his arm and leaning forward on his desk, disappointedly.)

(Close shot of Kevin glancing off, then frowning slightly at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): We further illustrate...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Mr. Collins at the board, as he starts to erase the diagram.)

We threw everything we had at him.

(Fade to later. Mr. Collins is writing on the board. He has taken off his jacket.)

MR. COLLINS: To describe the relationship between set "B"...

But we didn't have a chance.

(Wide shot of the class. Kevin rests his head on his hand.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): Positive numbers. Now, these numbers...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Mr. Collins at the board.)

MR. COLLINS: And their negatives in set "A"...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Mr. Collins at the board.)

MR. COLLINS: Make up the set of rational numbers.

(Shot past Kevin of a boy turning toward him.)

BOY: Psst. What page are we on?

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Mr. Collins at the board.)

MR. COLLINS: No talking!

(Close shot of Kevin and the boy as the boy turns forward. Kevin frowns as he turns toward Paul off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): Any rational number...

Sheesh - I mean...come on!

(Shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen and shrugging slightly.)

Who died and made this guy king?

(Shot of Kevin looking toward Paul off-screen and gesturing slightly. Mr. Collins just enters the side of the shot.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): Yes?

(Kevin turns forward slowly, slightly worried.)

(Close shot of Mr. Collins looking intently at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: Do you have a problem?

(Shot past Mr. Collins of Kevin as he glances off, then at Mr. Collins.)

KEVIN: Um...

(He looks at Mr. Collins.)

KEVIN: No.

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins looking at him.)

(Shot past Mr. Collins of Kevin looking at him as the bell rings.)

(Kevin and the student behind him start to close their books.)

(Wider shot of the class and Mr. Collins as students stand up.)

MR. COLLINS: For tomorrow...

(The students pause.)

MR. COLLINS: I would like you to do problems one through ten on page eighteen.

(The class groans as Mr. Collins walks past the camera toward the front of the class.)

(Close shot of Paul as he walks over to Kevin, then gestures at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

PAUL: Boy, what's the story with this guy?

(Paul looks at Kevin.)

PAUL: He's gonna kill us.

(Kevin frowns and shakes his head as he looks at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: Nah, don't worry about him.

(Kevin walks forward past the camera, and Paul follows.)

(Shot from behind Mr. Collins seated at his desk as Kevin and Paul approach.)

Sure, he looked tough - but I wasn't worried.

(The camera pans with the boys as they head for the door. Paul pauses and the camera follows Kevin as he turns around.)

KEVIN: Come on - let's go to lunch.

(Kevin approaches the door and leans back against it to open it.)

Not to brag or anything, but I was a pretty bright kid. Compared to the...

(Kevin smiles and exits.)

Cut to

Int. Evening - Arnold Living Room

(Close shot of Wayne slurping from a bowl.)

Competition.

NORMA (V/O): Wayne...

(Shot of Norma sitting in the armchair, holding a magazine.)

NORMA: How was your first day in high school? (Smiles.)

(Shot of Wayne.)

WAYNE: Huh? (Frowns.)

(Shot of Norma frowning slightly.)

With Wayne, that's about all my parents expected.

(Shot past Kevin sitting on the floor at the coffee table, of Jack on the couch in the background, sipping from a cup. Kevin smiles.)

With me, they expected a little more.

KEVIN: Well, I had a good day. English...(gestures)...French...(gestures)...math...(Smiles.)

Face it - they were proud of me.

(Jack smiles slightly and looks at Norma off-screen.)

(Close shot of Norma smiling.)

I guess it was kinda by default.

(Shot past Wayne of the TV - maybe Soupy Sales and two kids.)

(Wayne slurps and burps, then looks over his shoulder past the camera.)

WAYNE: Well, I gotta go meet Delores.

(Shot of Kevin and Jack.)

JACK: Wait a minute. Not on a school night. In this family, we do homework on schoolnights.

(Shot of Wayne and the TV.)

WAYNE: What about him? (Frowns.)

(Shot of Kevin and Jack.)

JACK: What about him?

(Shot of Wayne and the TV.)

WAYNE: Well, he's not doing any homework. (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Jack.)

JACK: Don't worry about Kevin. When you're getting Kevin's grades, we'll talk. (Gestures.)

(Shot past Wayne of Jack. Wayne turns forward and makes a face, then exits.)

OK - sometimes it was a little embarrassing.

(Close shot of Kevin smiling and looking off.)

But it's not like there weren't responsibilities.

(Kevin looks serious, and reaches for his math book.)

Yep - wouldn't be a bad idea to bone-up a little.

(Kevin opens his book and flips several pages.)

Start the year off with an ace.

(Kevin looks off.)

Or maybe a "B". "B-plus", maybe.

Cut to

Math Classroom

(Squeaky "Twilight Zone" music plays.)

(Shot from above of Kevin's desk and math book, as his quiz is put on it.)

KEVIN (V/O): "D"?

MR. COLLINS (V/O): The results of your pop-quiz.

KEVIN: "D"?!

It was horrible.

(Close shot of the quiz.)

I'd never gotten a "D" before. Not even in...

(Close shot of Kevin frowning at his quiz.)

(Music ends.)

Penmanship.

(The bell rings, and students start to rise.)

(Wider shot of the class.)

MR. COLLINS: For homework...

(Students pause.)

MR. COLLINS: Problems fifteen through twenty-five, on page twenty.

(Mr. Collins exits toward his desk as students start to leave.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking forward.)

There was only one possible explanation.

(Wider shot of Kevin as he stands and starts to walk up the aisle.)

This had to be a mistake.

(Paul approaches.)

PAUL: Kev - you comin' to lunch?

KEVIN: In a minute - I have to talk to Collins.

(Kevin walks up the aisle past the camera. Paul looks after him.)

PAUL: OK...but hurry up - Sloppy Joes today. (Smiles.)

(Paul starts to walk off.)

(Shot of Mr. Collins at his desk as students pass by him.)

(Shot of Kevin approaching, smiling.)

I had to handle this with a little tact.

KEVIN: Hi.

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins continuing to make notes.)

After all, the man was human.

(Mr. Collins looks up.)

MR. COLLINS: Yes?

(Shot of Kevin glancing off.)

So much for that theory.

KEVIN: Um...I have a question about my quiz.

(Kevin flips his quiz toward Mr. Collins.)

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins looking over the quiz, then at Kevin.)

MR. COLLINS: Yes?

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: About the grade...(Nods.)

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin, slightly puzzled.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: Well, it's a "D". (Smiles.)

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins looking at the quiz.)

MR. COLLINS: Yes, it is.

OK...

(Mr. Collins looks at Kevin.)

We'd made a start.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: Well, I...think it might be wrong.

(He smiles and shrugs slightly.)

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins looking at him as he slides the quiz over.)

MR. COLLINS: Well, let's take a look.

(Mr. Collins puts on his glasses, rests his forehead against his hand and studies the quiz.)

MR. COLLINS: You're right...

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen and smiling.)

There - that wasn't so hard.

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins marking the quiz.)

MR. COLLINS: Number five should be...minus one-half...that's half off...this is a "D minus".

(Shot of Kevin looking at his quiz.)

(Shot past Kevin as Mr. Collins hands his quiz back.)

MR. COLLINS: Thank you for calling that to my attention.

(Shot of Kevin looking at his quiz.)

KEVIN: Oh...

(Shot from behind Kevin as he starts to walk away slowly, then pauses.)

Now wait a darn minute, here!

(Kevin turns back to Mr. Collins.)

KEVIN: Mr. Collins?!

MR. COLLINS: What?

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: Well...(Sighs.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): If you're having a problem...

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins.)

MR. COLLINS: I run a help group after schools...on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

(Shot of Kevin looking a little surprised at Mr. Collins off-screen, then glancing around.)

Whoa, whoa, whoa! This guy was gettin' entirely the wrong impression. I had to nip this in the bud, and fast.

KEVIN: No, it-it's just that...I don't think of myself as a "D" student.

(Shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: Really?

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: Well, it's just that it's a little unusual, don't you think? (Nods.) I mean, a quiz on the second day of school? (Smiles.)

(Shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen blankly.)

O-Kay.

(Shot of Kevin glancing around, then looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: What I'm saying is that...I...wasn't as prepared as I might have been.

(Shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen blankly.)

(Shot of Kevin looking down.)

KEVIN: Well...I don't think this is representative...

(He looks at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: Of the work I usually do.

(Shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: Then I look forward to seeing your results on future quizzes.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen blankly.)

(Shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: Anything else?

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen blankly.)

KEVIN: No. That's fine. (Frowns.)

(Kevin exits toward the door.)

Sure. Fine.

(Wider shot of Mr. Collins as he flips open a book.)

Just fine.

Cut to

Int. Evening - Dining Room

(Shot of Kevin at the table with his homework as Jack leans against the doorjamb with a bottle of beer.)

If that's how Collins wanted to play it.

JACK (V/O): Hittin' the books, hah?

KEVIN: Yeah.

JACK: Well, go get 'em, tiger.

(Jack takes a swig of beer and approaches Kevin, patting him on the back.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking up as Jack walks away behind him.)

Sure - I'd get 'em.

(Kevin smiles, and glances around.)

Fact was, I hadn't really studied for that first quiz. But now, I was serious.

(Kevin resumes his homework.)

I'd show Collins what I was really made of.

Cut to

Math Classroom

(Squeaky "Twilight Zone" music plays.)

(Shot from above of Kevin's desk and math book, as his quiz is put on it.)

KEVIN (V/O): What?!

(Shot of Kevin frowning at his quiz.)

This was nuts! This was crazy! This was...

KEVIN: Another "D"!

(Kevin glances from side to side.)

What was going on, here? Was I losing my touch?

(Close shot of Kevin's hand holding his test.)

(Shot of Kevin frowning at his quiz.)

There had to be another answer.

(Kevin looks up at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

Cut to

Cafeteria

(Shot past a girl of Kevin and Paul in line.)

KEVIN: Can you believe this guy - he's out-of-control! (Gestures.) I mean, what is his problem, anyway?

(Paul and Kevin put a dish on their plates and move down the line.)

KEVIN: The man is brutal, Paul.

KEVIN: I mean, you see all this stuff he's giving us? And those pop-quizzes every day...

(Kevin turns toward Paul and holds up a finger.)

KEVIN: Explain this - how could it be a pop-quiz, if there's one everyday?

PAUL: I don't know...

(Paul takes something and puts it on his tray.)

KEVIN: Of course you don't know...because there's no logic to it. (Gestures.) I mean, what was that last stuff he was talking about, that absolute value...?

(Kevin gestures and frowns.)

KEVIN: Half of the class didn't even know what he was talking about. (Shrugs.) I mean, what is an absolute value, anyway? (Frowns.)

(Shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.)

PAUL: It's the value of a number without regard to its sign.

(Shot of Paul and Kevin. Kevin looks off as Paul exits, then looks after him off-screen.)

Alright - stupid example.

KEVIN: You're missing the point, Paul. (Frowns.)

(Shot of Paul approaching the camera, with Kevin behind him, as they head to a table.)

KEVIN: See, the point is, that Collins is just driving us too hard.

(Paul sits down.)

KEVIN: I mean, we're all killing ourselves.

(Kevin sits down.)

KEVIN: What's he going to do?

(Kevin leans forward and smiles slightly.)

KEVIN: Give us all "D"'s?

(Twang of Snuffy's guitar as Kevin looks at his tray.)

There's a certain look...

(Kevin looks at Paul and pauses.)

That only a trusted friend can give you.

(Shot past Kevin of Paul looking at him.)

A look that says..."you're about to make a total fool of yourself".

(Shot past Paul of Kevin looking at him.)

I was getting that look.

(Paul looks down.)

KEVIN: Paul?

(Shot past Kevin of Paul looking at him.)

(Shot past Paul of Kevin looking at him.)

KEVIN: What'd you get on the quiz?

(Shot past Kevin of Paul looking at him.)

PAUL: I forget.

(Paul shakes his head and looks down as he starts to eat.)

(Shot past Paul of Kevin smiling and nodding at him, then glancing toward Paul's book.)

(Close shot of the quiz in Paul's book as Kevin snatches it, and Paul reaches after it.)

(Shot past Paul of Kevin pulling the quiz back, and looking at Paul as he unfolds it.)

(Shot past Kevin of Paul looking at him. Paul got an "A minus".)

PAUL: It doesn't mean anything. I just got lucky.

(Shot past Paul of Kevin looking at the quiz.)

KEVIN: Yeah...

(Kevin folds the quiz, then looks at Paul and hands it back.)

KEVIN: Lucky you.

(Shot past Kevin of Paul looking at him.)

PAUL: I'm gonna go get some dessert. You want some?

(Shot past Paul of Kevin glaring at him and shaking his head slowly. Paul stands and exits. The camera moves in slightly on Kevin.)

I wasn't hungry. What I was, was...

Cut to

Int. Evening - Kevin's Bedroom

(Kevin is sitting in a chair, doodling on his knee with a pencil.)

Worried.

(There is a knock at the door. Kevin looks toward the door off-screen.)

(Wider shot as Kevin puts his feet down and turns toward his desk.)

(Shot of the door as Jack opens it.)

JACK: We're all goin' out for ice cream - you want to come?

(Shot of Kevin at the desk as he looks toward Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: Um, no, thanks. (Gestures.) Gotta study...(Smiles.)

(Shot of Jack at the doorway.)

JACK: Gonna ace another one, huh?

(Shot of Kevin at the desk as he looks toward Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: Yeah.

(Shot of Jack smiling slightly, then turning toward the door.)

(Closer shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: Dad?

(Closer shot of Jack pausing in the doorway and looking at Kevin off-screen.)

JACK: What?

(Shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen and hesitating.)

KEVIN: Nothing.

(Kevin looks down.)

(Shot of Jack in the doorway.)

JACK: Don't work too hard.

(Shot of Kevin turning toward Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: Right.

(Shot of Jack smiling, then exiting.)

(Shot of Kevin looking down.)

Maybe I should have said something then.

(Kevin leans back and frowns.)

But for some reason, I didn't. How could I tell him I wasn't the Kevin Arnold he thought I was?

(Shot from behind Kevin as he tilts his book upright, then reaches for his pencil.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at the book, and writing.)

KEVIN: The absolute value...of negative one...

("One" - Three Dog Night starts.)

KEVIN: Is one.

"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do"

Fade to

Int. Day - Math Class

(Close shot of Mr. Collins writing on the board.)

MR. COLLINS: Equals zero...that resolves to "X" minus one, and "X" minus two equals zero...

(Close shot of Kevin frowning and making notes.)

MR. COLINS (V/O): Which gives us two solutions. Do they have anything in common?

Over the next few days...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Paul one seat up and over.)

Things went from bad to worse.

MR. COLLINS (V/O): Mr. Arnold?

(The camera pans over to Mr. Collins looking at Kevin.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen and frowning.)

KEVIN: Yes?

(Shot of Mr. Collins from Kevin's perspective.)

MR. COLLINS: The intersection of sets "B" and "C"...

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen, then at his book and frowning, then back to Mr. Collins.)

KEVIN: Um...."X" plus four?

MR. COLLINS (V/O): Incorrect.

(Close shot of Mr. Collins looking at Paul off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: Mr. Pfeiffer?

(Shot of Paul.)

PAUL: One and two?

(Shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): Correct.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Paul looking over his shoulder at him.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): Expressed as sets...

(Kevin looks off.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): That means "X" represents the set...

Cut to

Int. Evening - Kitchen

(Shot of Kevin, Wayne and Jack at the kitchen table. Norma approaches from the kitchen.)

The pressure was increasing.

(Shot past Norma of Kevin looking at her as she sits down.)

NORMA (V/O): How's everything going at school, sweetheart?

(Shot past Kevin of Norma smiling at him.)

(Shot past Norma of Kevin looking off.)

KEVIN: Uh...fine.

(Shot past Kevin of Norma smiling and picking up a pitcher of lemonade.)

I was living a lie.

(Shot of Kevin looking down.)

And it was only a matter of time before I was found out.

NORMA (V/O): Kevin?

(Kevin looks toward Norma off-screen.)

(Shot of Norma holding the pitcher in front of her.)

NORMA: If this pitcher of lemonade make eight servings of one cup each, how many servings will it make if the cups are filled...

(Shot of Kevin frowning at Norma off-screen and leaning back slightly.)

NORMA (V/O): Only two-thirds full?

KEVIN: Huh?!

("Twilight Zone Theme" plays.)

(Shot of Norma holding the pitcher. The camera zooms in slightly.)

(Shot of Kevin frowning as the camera zooms in slightly.)

(Wide angle shot of Jack and Norma looking at him, and Wayne and Karen lean toward him. Wayne has a spoon hanging from his nose.)

(Music ends abruptly.)

(Shot past Norma of Kevin looking down.)

NORMA (V/O): Kevin!

(Kevin looks up.)

(Shot past Kevin of Norma holding the pitcher and smiling.)

NORMA: Do you want some lemonade?

(Shot past Norma of Kevin glancing around.)

KEVIN: Um, no...thanks.

(Shot past Kevin of Norma smiling and motioning for his glass.)

NORMA: Come on, honey - it's good for you.

(Shot of Kevin looking down and frowning as he hands his glass to Norma off-screen.)

Maybe. But the fact was, lemonade wasn't going to solve my problems.

(Shot of Norma as she pours the lemonade, then smiles as she hands the glass to Kevin off-screen.)

Cut to

School Hallway

(Wide shot of Kevin bent over the drinking fountain in the empty hallway.)

That afternoon...

(Kevin looks over his shoulder toward the classroom off-screen.)

I just happened to pass by Mr. Collins' classroom.

(Kevin starts to walk slowly toward the classroom.)

By accident, of course.

(Kevin looks over his shoulder casually, as the camera moves in.)

So, what was the big deal. Maybe I'd drop in...

(Kevin peers through the window.)

Get a few tips from the old help-group.

(Shot through the window of Kevin looking in, slightly surprised.)

(Shot of Kevin as he looks off and frowns.)

Wait a minute.

(Kevin looks through the window again.)

(Wide shot of one girl and three boys, all looking bored.)

This was the help group?

(Shot through the window of Kevin looking in, slightly surprised.)

(Shot of one boy wrapping a string tightly around his finger, making it turn purple.)

Jeff Bledsoe thought the Boston tea party...

(Shot through the window of Kevin looking in, and frowning.)

Was a dispute over cheese.

(Shot past Jeff of a large boy trying to stay awake and rubbing his eyes.)

Frank Barnes had been in the eight-grade since the Eisenhower administration.

(Shot of Kevin as he looks off and sighs, then looks toward the window again.)

(Wide shot of the four kids.)

In the delicate ecosystem of junior high...

(Shot of Kevin as he looks off and frowns.)

These guys were - well let's face it - bottom-feeders.

(Kevin takes a few steps backwards, then turns. Mr. Collins is standing in the hallway, and Kevin stops in front of him.)

MR. COLLINS: Are you joining us?

(Kevin starts to back away slowly.)

KEVIN: Uh...no.

(Mr. Collins moves toward the door, and Kevin backs up slowly.)

KEVIN: I just...left something in your class.

(Close shot of Mr. Collins looking over his shoulder at Kevin off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin pulling out his pencil and holding it up in front of him.)

KEVIN: My pencil. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: I'm giving a major test next week.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): It would be a good opportunity...

(Close shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: For you to bring up your grade.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen, unenthused.)

KEVIN: Yeah. Well, uh...

(Kevin starts to back up.)

KEVIN: Thanks for telling me, but uh...

(He glances over his shoulder and back.)

KEVIN: I really have to be going. (Smiles.)

(Wider shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen, then turning toward the door and opening it.)

(Shot of Kevin turning away and looking after Mr. Collins off-screen.)

Sheesh. Who did he think I was? Some kind of...

Cut to

Ext. Day - Arnold Driveway

(Close shot past Paul of Kevin dribbling a basketball.)

Loser?

(The camera pulls back as he drives past Paul and shoots a lay-up.)

(Shot of the basket as the ball goes in it.)

(Wide shot of Paul.)

KEVIN: Loser's ball.

(Kevin tosses the ball to him.)

PAUL: Ugh!

(Fade to a shot of Paul dribbling the ball. Kevin moves in closer.)

(Wider shot of both as Kevin steals the ball and shoots a lay-up.)

(Shot of the basket as the ball goes in it.)

(Fade to another shot of Kevin dribbling, then charging past Paul.)

PAUL: Ugh!

(Paul falls down.)

(Shot of Kevin shooting a lay-up.)

(Shot of the basket as the ball goes in it.)

(Shot of Paul on his back, watching.)

(Shot of Kevin as he holds the ball and leans against the garage door.)

Now I was feeling better.

KEVIN: Fifteen - zip.

(Wide shot past Paul sitting on the ground as Kevin bounces the ball to him.)

KEVIN: Wanna play again?

(Shot of Paul as he catches the ball.)

PAUL: No thanks.

(Shot past Paul of Kevin as Paul gets up.)

KEVIN: Why not?

(Kevin steps onto the wall next to the driveway.)

PAUL: I gotta study for the test.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen as he walks along the wall.)

Ouch!

KEVIN: Oh, come on - one more game.

PAUL (V/O): I can't.

(Shot past Paul of Kevin hopping off the wall.)

KEVIN: Paul!

(Shot past Kevin of Paul.)

PAUL: We could study together - if you want.

(Shot past Paul of Kevin.)

KEVIN: What's that supposed to mean?

(Shot past Kevin of Paul.)

PAUL: Nothing.

(Shot past Paul of Kevin.)

KEVIN: I don't need your charity, Paul.

(Kevin walks past Paul and the camera. Paul turns after him.)

PAUL: That's not what I meant.

(Shot of the basketball as Kevin bends over and picks it up, then gestures as he walks across the driveway.)

KEVIN: I don't need your help.

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.)

PAUL: Fine! So I'll seeya.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen, then pacing.)

KEVIN: Alright - Mr. Mathlete.

(Close shot of Paul turning away, then turning back.)

PAUL: Kevin...(Frowns.)

(Close shot of Kevin turning toward Paul off-screen and gesturing.)

KEVIN: Oh, I'm sorry, Paul, for not being as mathletic as you. (Frowns.) I mean, have you ever listened to yourself?

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.)

KEVIN (V/O): Uh, the absolute value of seven is, uh, three.

PAUL: Actually, it's seven.

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Paul off-screen.)

KEVIN: Who cares? Paul...

(Kevin points to himself as he steps forward.)

KEVIN: My life is not so boring...that my only thrill is math. (Frowns.)

What do you say to that...

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.)

Mr. Wizard?

PAUL: Good luck on the test, tomorrow.

(Paul turns and exits.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking after him off-screen.)

(Shot of the driveway as Paul hurriedly walks between the wall and the car to his bike. Kevin steps past the camera, and Paul rides off.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking after Paul off-screen.)

So what?

(Kevin frowns and turns away.)

(High wide shot from the basketball backboard.)

I didn't need Paul.

(Kevin angrily bounces the ball away with both hands.)

I didn't need anybody.

Cut to

Math Class

(Wide shot from the front of the class as Mr. Collins hands out tests.)

MR. COLLINS: Put your books on the floor.

(Close shot of Kevin glancing off.)

All I needed was...

(He looks toward heaven.)

A miracle.

(Wide shot from the front of the class.)

MR. COLLINS: Your desks should be clear of everything but your pencils.

(Shot of Kevin between two students.)

If only I could pull off a "B minus", or-or a "C".

(Kevin takes one test and passes the rest backwards.)

Or a "C minus". OK.

(He closes his eyes and takes a breath.)

Let's just take it slow and easy, here.

(He opens his eyes and looks at the test.)

From the top...

(He frowns and set the test on his desk.)

(Close shot of the test and Kevin's hand and pencil.)

Question number one.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at the test and frowning.)

Hmmm, nothing familiar.

(Kevin glances to both sides.)

Well, just find a question you know how to do, and do that one first.

(Close shot of the test and Kevin's hand and pencil moving to various questions.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking up from his test. He glances around and clears his throat, then looks at his test.)

(Close shot of the test and Kevin's hand and pencil moving to another question.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at his test.)

(Close shot of the test. The Venn diagram becomes blurred, accompanied by music effects.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at his test.)

Pay no attention to that.

(Kevin looks up and shakes his head slightly.)

Move right along to the next one.

(Very close shot of a question. The camera pans across the sentence, accompanied by music effects.)

(Shot of Kevin flipping the page quickly.)

(Low shot of Kevin looking at his test. He is starting to sweat. Heartbeat sound effect plays.)

(High shot of Kevin and the test on his desk.The camera moves aropund to in front of him, then lowers in front of him.)

It took about four minutes to attain...

(Kevin looks up as he grabs the sides of his desk.)

Total panic.

(Shot of the clock on the wall indicating 11:41 AM. Ticking sounds start.)

(Low shot of Kevin as he hyperventilates and looks toward other students off-screen. The heartbeats continue.)

(Long shot of the arms, hands and pencils of other students as they write.)

(Low shot of Kevin as he hyperventilates and looks toward other students off-screen, then his test. The heartbeats and ticking continue.)

(Close shot of the test as the camera pans across it slightly.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at the test, then glancing at students off-screen.)

(Long shot of the arms, hands and pencils of other students as they write.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Mr. Collins off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS (Distorted) (V/O): Question three...

(Slow motion shot of Mr. Collins seated at his desk and gesturing.)

MR. COLLINS (Distorted): Should read five "X", not five.

(Shot from the opposite side of Kevin looking forward and hyperventilating.)

I was desperate.

(He looks to both sides, as the heatbeats continue.)

I was a drowning man looking for anything to cling to.

(Kevin looks past the camera.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Paul working on his test.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Paul off-screen.)

Anything.

(Close shot of Paul's test as he works on it.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Paul off-screen, and leaning forward very slightly.)

(Close shot of Paul's test as he works on it.)

(Wider shot of Paul as he pauses, and looks toward Kevin. Heartbeats and ticking end.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Paul off-screen, and sitting back.)

(Shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen. He slides his hand up, over his test, and resumes working on it.)

(Close shot of Kevin from the opposite side, looking toward Paul off-screen.)

And that's when I realized...

(Kevin looks down.)

I'd sunk as low as a person in eigth-grade algebra could sink.

(Some Snuffy guitar plays.)

(Kevin looks toward the front of the class.)

(Fade to wide shot from the front of the class as the bell rings. Kevin is resting the side of his head on his hand.)

(Other students start to perk up.)

And then it was over.

(Shot of Mr. Collins seated at his table.)

MR. COLLINS: Please turn in your exams.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Paul looking over his shoulder at him, then standing up.)

(High wide shot from the front of the class as students exit past Mr. Collins' desk. Kevin is still sitting in the middle of the classroom, alone.)

(Close shot as he stands up and pauses, looking at Mr. Collins off-screen. He steps forward slowly.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Mr. Collins tapping the tests on the desk to square them up.)

(Shot past Mr. Collins of Kevin as he approaches.)

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin, then the test, and back.)

(Shot past Mr. Collins of Kevin.)

KEVIN: You don't need to grade it.

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins flipping the test over and looking at it, then at Kevin quickly.)

(Shot past Mr. Collins of Kevin.)

KEVIN: I got an "F".

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins looking at the test again, then at Kevin.)

(Shot past Mr. Collins of Kevin hesitating.)

KEVIN: I didn't answer any of the questions.

(Kevin picks up his books.)

(Shot from behind Kevin as he starts to walk toward the door, then pauses.)

(Shot of Kevin looking past the camera toward Mr. Collins off-screen. He sets his books down, then looks down and sighs.)

KEVIN: I don't understand math.

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins looking at him, with his glasses cupped in his hands.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking off.)

KEVIN: I'm - I'm lousy at it.

(He looks at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. (Frowns.)

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins looking at him, with his glasses cupped in his hands.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins looking at him, with his glasses cupped in his hands.)

MR. COLLINS: Good.

(He smiles very slightly.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: Huh? (Frowns.)

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins looking at him and putting his glasses in his jacket pocket. He picks up Kevin's test and wads it up in his hands.)

MR. COLLINS: Maybe now you're ready to start.

(Mr. Collins tosses the test into the trash off-screen.)

(Shot of Kevin frowning and looking off.)

(Shot from behind Kevin as Mr. Collins rises with his book and tests, and starts to walk to the door.)

KEVIN: Wait a minute.

(Mr. Collins pauses and turns.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: I just told you - I failed!

(Close shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: There'll be another test in two weeks.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

(Close shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen and smiling slightly, then exiting.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen, then looking forward and sighing.)

Fade to

Int. Evening - Kevin's Room

(Shot of Kevin seated at his desk. One hand rests on the open book as the other holds his head up as he looks off.)

I felt lost. I felt confused. I felt alone.

(Shot of the door as Jack opens it.)

JACK: You OK, pal? (Smiles.)

(Shot of Kevin looking off.)

(Closer shot of Jack.)

JACK: Kev?

(Closer shot of Kevin looking off, nearly crying.)

KEVIN: No, Dad.

(He looks toward Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: I'm not.

(Close shot of Jack hesitating and frowning slightly, then walking toward the camera.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking off. Jack hand rests on his shoulder, and Kevin looks up to Jack off-screen, then to his book.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): The multiplicative inverse property...

Fade to

Math Class

(Shot past Kevin of Mr. Collins pointing to the board.)

MR. COLLINS: Tells us for each real non-zero number, "A", there exists a real number, one over "A", such that "A" times one over "A" equals one.

(Close shot of Kevin taking notes.)

There are times in life when you think you're lost.

MR. COLLINS (V/O): Kevin.

(Kevin looks up.)

(Shot of Mr. Collins looking at him off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: Can you simplify the quotient?

(Shot of Kevin looking at his book.)

KEVIN: Um...

When every turn you take seems wrong.

(Kevin looks up.)

KEVIN: One-fifth.

(Shot of Paul sighing, with Kevin in the background.)

(Shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: No.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen, then his book.)

(Shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: Try again.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

(Shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen.)

Then, just for a moment...

(Shot of Kevin looking at his book.)

You see a light.

(He perks up and smiles slightly, then looks at Mr. Collins off-screen.)

KEVIN: Negative one-fifth.

(Shot of Mr. Collins looking at Kevin off-screen.)

MR. COLLINS: Correct.

(Shot of Paul smiling, with Kevin in the background.)

(The camera changes focus to Kevin as Paul turns toward him. Kevin smiles.)

(Shot of Mr. Collins turning toward the board.)

MR. COLLINS: Now you can also simplify...

(Close shot of Kevin smiling, then looking at his book.)

MR. COLLINS (V/O): By using the absolute value of factors.

Fade to

Evening - Kevin's Room

(Shot from outside through the window of Kevin at his desk.)

("You Can Close You Eyes" - James Taylor starts.)

And so I began that long climb into the light.

(Kevin sighs.)

Only this time...

(Jack is holding Kevin's book, and approaches him. He rests his hands on the chair and the desk, and looks at Kevin's work.)

I wasn't alone.

(The camera pulls back slowly.)

"Well the sun is surely sinking down"

(Fade to a wider shot of the side of the house as the camera continues to pull back.)

"But the moon is slowly rising"
"So this old world must still be spinning around"
"And I still love you
"So close your eyes"
"You can close your eyes, it's all right"

Fade to

CLOSING CREDITS

Supporting Cast
Mr. Collins - Stephen Gilborn
Mr. Cutlip - Robert Picardo

Music
"ABC" - Jackson 5
"One" - Three Dog Night
"'The Twilight Zone' Theme" - Marius Constant
"You Can Close Your Eyes" - James Taylor



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06/02/99 22:30