Lisa Berlini





(Ep 5 - "The Phone Call")

(Kevin is sitting by the phone. He picks up the handset and looks at the phone. He slowly begins to dial.)
There are very few things in life as purely terrifying as calling a twelve-year-old girl on the telephone.
(Kevin slams the handset down in frustration.)
Ugh!
Especially a really cute twelve-year-old girl.
*
(Class) 3...2...1...Blast-off!
She looked at me - did you see that? She looked right at me. I don't know how to explain it. Except to say that when you're twelve, and a girl who looks like that looks at you like that, even for an instant...everything else gets blasted out of your mind and into the upper atmosphere.
I was in love.


*

I was officially a "goner".




*
Well, I still had one minute before eight o'clock.
(Kevin looks at the phone.)
If I had a shred of manhood in me I would call her now.
(Kevin picks up the phone and dials. Sound of heartbeat.)
T minus seven, six, five, four, three, two, one...
(Fantasy scene of Lisa in her room.)
Hello. This is Lisa. Kevin who? Kevin Arnold?
(Lisa smiles, then looks at her friend next to her. She holds the phone against herself.)
Who's Kevin Arnold?
(Lisa's friend whispers something.)
Oh, hi, Kevin.
(Lisa looks at her friends off-screen.)
Hey, you guys. You've got to hear this.
(Her friends gather around her.)
I'm fine Kevin, how are you? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You don't say.
(Lisa giggles. Her friends start laughing. A crowd has gathered around Lisa, including Mrs. Ritvo, Mr. Katz, Tommy Rygot, and two newscasters.)
NEWSCASTER FRANK: We're here live at the Lisa Berlini house where Lisa is talking to Kevin Arnold on the telephone. Jim, maybe you have an answer to the question we've been wondering about. Why would Kevin call Lisa when it's so obvious she thinks he's a total jerk?
(The crowd begins to laugh uncontrollably.)
NEWSCASTER JIM: I really don't know Frank, but if we put our microphone up close to the phone we can actually listen in on the call, although I don't know if our audience will be able to hear above all this laughing.

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(Ep 6 - "Dance With Me")

Um, did you just say you'd go to the dance with Brad?
Well, yeah.
But...you just said you'd go with me.
That was before Brad asked me.
So?
So...I didn't know he was going to ask me when I said "yes" to you.
So?
Well, I mean, you're not gonna...be weird about this or anything, are you? I mean I really like you Kevin. As a -
And that's when she said it. The word I was to hear from beautiful girls, like Lisa Berlini, time and time again. The word that struck a chord so violent in me that I wanted to strangle guys like Brad Gaines with my bare hands.
-friend.
Argh!


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02/11/99 23:30