Louis Lanahan


(Ep 110 "Eclipse")

(In a roadside restroom. Kevin enters, hitting Louis with the door. Louis drops a bunch of explosives.)
It seems there was something to be said for keeping higher education confined to the classroom. Because a little knowledge could be a dangerous thing.
You dropped something.
(Louis picks up his stuff.)
Enough cherry bombs and ash cans to take out an armory.
They're something, aren't they? I got a cousin down in North Carolina keeps me supplied. See this baby?
(Louis hands Kevin a cherry bomb.)
Yeah, it's uh...great.
Biggest one they make. Beauty, ain't it?
Great! I was stuck in the men's room with the mad bomber himself.
(Kevin hands cherry bomb back to Louis.)
I got plans for this baby! Look, Arnold, you seem to be a trust-worthy kind of guy. Do you know what's gonna happen at exactly two-fifteen today?
Well, yeah - there's gonna be an eclipse.
Nah, nah, nah - that's not all there's gonna be. They got a toilet at the planetarium. The cherry bomb goes in and then...tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, boom!
Maybe he was into some sort of Gestalt therapy...
(Chuck rushes in, very nervous and upset. Louis hides the bombs under his jacket.)
It's no use. She won't even come out of the ladies' room.
Remember, Arnold...two-fifteen sharp. Cover your ears. (Exits.)

(The bus parks in the parking lot.)
And so in the spirit of intellectual discovery and personal enrichment, we finally reached our destination, the Nierman planetarium.
(Students unload behind Mr. Plenitzer.)
Now remember, we'll all meet on the lawn promptly at two o'clock. If any of you need to use the restrooms, make sure you go before that.
(Louis covers the explosives with his coat.)
(To himself): Check. Tick, tick, tick, boom...

(In the planetarium.)
Forget it, Arnold. I work solo. It's a lot cleaner that way.
Well, let me do something. I mean you can really help me out with my girlfriend. See, she has this crazy idea.
OK, OK. Maybe you can be like a lookout.
(Louis looks at his watch.)
But I get to flush.
You got it.
OK, let's rock n' roll.

(Later, in the restroom.)
Here we are, Arnold.
Final preparations were being made.
Ground zero. Isn't it beautiful?
One little thing - this wasn't just shoplifting.
Look, Louis, maybe this isn't such a good idea.
This was ten-to-twenty in the State pen.
What's the matter, Arnold? Are you chicken?
No, just this whole place can blow up or something...
(Louis is playing with a lighter and fuse.)
Yeah, it's a risk.
That was one way to put it.
Louis, let's forget about it.
((Louis imitates chicken noises and lights the fuse. The door bursts open and the bus driver enters.)
louis" Uh-oh!
But if I was looking to bail on this whole thing...
(Louis throws the bomb to Kevin who throws it back. Louis then throws it into the toilet.)
No, don't!
(Louis flushes the bomb down the toilet.)
I was a tad too late.
(Louis bumps in to the bus driver, and runs out.)
Hey, come back here!
(He runs out after Louis.)
And realistically speaking, there was only one thing left to do.
Oh, my God!
(Kevin runs outside.)

(Outside, Mr. Plenitzer is counting down the seconds for the eclipse. A big blast is heard, and the camera jiggles. The total eclipse suddenly darkens the scene. Kids scream and scatter. Louis is in the middle of a crowd.)
Top of the world, Ma!
There it is. A total eclipse. Isn't science beautiful?
(Sound of crickets. Mr. Plenitzer looks around and sees no one.)
(Cut to the parking lot as security guards lead Louis away.)
I guess you can say that the laws of nature aren't always predictable.
(Mr. Plenitzer is standing inside the bus, talking to students.)
Well, not only did you all miss one of the great natural events of the century. But the planetarium, I am ashamed to tell you, has now decided to ban any future field trips from McKinley High School.

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11/28/14 14:25