Gary Cosey


(Ep 7 - "Heart of Darkness")

(Paul, Gary and Kevin are taking a test. Gary is sits in front of Paul, who sits next to Kevin. Gary is turned around toward Paul.)
Psst! What'd you get for number one?
Get outta here.
Come on, man. Don't be such a wuss.
Forget it. Get outta here.
(Paul glances toward Mrs. Ritvo's direction. She's at her desk, looking a some papers.)
Don't worry about it. The old bag can't even hear herself fart.
(Gary tries to take Paul's test paper.)
Forget it. Get outta here, jerk.
(Gary turns forward and mimics Paul's voice.)
"Get outta here, jerk".
Gary Cosey. You know the type. The kind of guy, who at the tender age of twelve-and-a-half, looks like he shouldn't come out by day.
(Gary looks at Kevin.)
Psst. What did you get for number one?
What a joker. This guy thought he was so cool...people would just be waiting in line to give him their answers.
X equals seven.
(Paul looks at Kevin with amazement, then at Gary.)
See? (Gestures.) Did he burst into flames?
Hey, what can I say? It just seemed like the thing to do at the time. OK, it happened once. Let's not make a huge deal out of it.
What did you get for number two?
X is greater than or equal to fourteen.
(Paul looks at Kevin in amazement.)
Great minds think alike. That's what I got.
gary (They resume their test. Gary reaches toward Kevin's paper. Paul looks up and watches.)
(Gary's hand rests on Kevin's desk. Gary motions with his fingers. Kevin sighs, and releases his paper. Gary slides it off the desk. Paul turns to Kevin.)
ritvo Kevin. Are you crazy? You're gonna get caught.
Paul, forget it.
Forget it? What do you mean, "forget it"?
(Mrs. Ritvo approaches from behind. Kevin makes warning faces at Paul.)
welcome Ritvo's gonna nail you. She's not as stupid as she looks, you know.
(Mrs. Ritvo looking down at Paul.)
Thank you, Mr. Pfeiffer.
(Paul turns and looks up at Mrs. Ritvo.)
You're welcome? (Smiles.)
(Cut to shot from the corner of a table where Kevin, Gary, and Paul are sitting side-by-side.)
Detention. Paul and I were a tad out of our element.
(A kid is reading MAD magazine.)
My hunch was that one or two of our colleagues were repeat offenders.
(A kid in a leather jacket opens a switch-blade knife and starts to scratch the table. He looks up toward Kevin.)
I felt like Dennis the Menace on a chain-gang with Lee Harvey Oswald and the Boston Strangler.
(A kid pulls his dark glasses down and peers at Kevin.)
I thought you said she couldn't her herself fart.
Yeah, well. I guess you talk louder than she farts.
My mother's going to kill me.
Relax. Your mother's never going to find out.
Oh, yeah. Like my mother is just going to sign my detention slip and forget to look at it.
(Gary takes Paul's detenton slip.)
What's her first name?
(Paul is speechless.)
(Gary signs Paul's slip.)
Life's not that hard, man. Take it easy.
(Kevin slides his detention slip to Gary.)
You can't just do that!
Why not?
Paul was right. What was I thinking - cheating in class, forging my mother's name - this wasn't me.
Yeah. Why not?
(Gary fiddles with his pen, then smiles and "high-five's" with Kevin.)

(In the hallway, Paul and Kevin are watching Winnie and Kirk, who are talking and laughing. Kirk has his hand on Winnie's shoulder.)
You know what it is? It's the contacts. Ever since she got contacts, she thinks she's so cool. She's turned into a real snob. You know when my mother took me to get contacts and I found out I was allergic to them? Well now I'm glad. I'd much rather wear glasses and be a nice person than have contacts and be a snob. I can't believe she thinks she's better than -
Paul! Who cares what she thinks?
Yeah, who cared? So what if Winnie was making new friends. We were making new friends too.
(Kevin smiles and looks toward the restroom door, which opens in a cloud of smoke as Gary walks out and approaches them.)
Hey, man. Can you do me a favor?
Sure, what?
(Gary hands a full brown paper bag to Kevin.)
Could you keep this in your locker till lunch?
(Paul shakes his head at Kevin and mouthes "no". Kevin takes the bag.)
Um, sure. No sweat!
What is it?
Hey, you're paranoid, man. You know that? It's just some stuff I need for Friday night.
Well, what's Friday night?
Uh, you know, sometimes I just crash out in the woods all night.
Yeah, my old lady is always hassling me. Sometimes, you know, I just gotta get out.
Yeah, I know what you mean. (Nods.)
You do?
Yeah. My old lady's the same way.
(Paul mouthes "old lady?")
Yeah? Hey, look if you guys want to come, then, that's cool.
No thanks.
Yeah, sure!
Yeah, like my mother is just going to want me to sleep out in the woods.
Just tell her you're sleeping over at my house. Don't be so paranoid, man.
It was a cheap trick - turning a 12-year-old's sense of manhood against his his sense of intelligence.
Cheap - but dependable.
(Gary "high-five's" Kevin. Gary puts his hand out toward Paul. Paul slowly high-five's him. Gary gentle slaps Paul's face.)
Keep the change.

(At night around a campfire as Gary approaches and sits down.)
Hey, man. Sorry I'm late. (Shrugs.) I needed to get some stuff.
No problem. (Shrugs.) We brought some stuff, too.
Great. Whatta ya got?
Well, lot's of good stuff. We got...marshmellows...some Kool-Aid...I think there's some Twinkies in here somewhere. Look here.
(He pauses when he sees the cfartons of cigarettes Gary is holding.)
Oh, and I got a snakebite kit, too, just in case...
I can see it's going to be up to me to liven you guys up a little.
(Gary puts an 8-track cassette in a portable player. "Sunshine of Your Love" starts. He opens the carton and removes a pack of Cools. He starts to take a cigarette out.)
Alright. I'd been into this so far - but this was getting ridiculous. I mean, what did this kid plan to do?
(Gary lights his cigarette.)
Smoke nine-hundred cigarettes in three hours? If he thought it made him look tough or something, he was mistaken. I mean, smoking cigarettes just proved you're stupid. It was pathetic.
Got an extra butt? (Smiles.)
(Paul watches as Gary holds a lighter and Kevin lights a cigarette. Kevin sits back, then turns toward Paul, and gestures.)
It relaxes me!
(Gary offers the pack to Paul. Paul spreads his hands in front of him, and frowns.)
brew No, thanks. I don't smoke.
You can start on a brew, Pfeiffer.
(Gary opens a can of "Cold 45".)
Unless you'd rather have Kool-Aid.
(Paul takes the beer, and smiles at it.)
chug I couldn't believe it - a can of beer? A 16-ounce can of beer? This thing was going to far!
(Paul holds the beer and looks uncertain.)
Thank God Paul at least had a level head! Go on Paul, say it. Go ahead and say it - just say "no".
(Paul still looks uncertain.)
Just say "no". Just say "no"!
(Paul tilts his head back and chugs the beer. Kevin turns away in disappointment.)
Huh, well, let's face it - kids in those days just weren't as smart as kids of today.
God, I love to party. I could party twenty-four hours a day, man.
Yeah...(puffs)...me too, man.
You guys remember *Ben, **** and Andy? They go to Central.
(K & P): Yeah.
I usually party with them. My girlfriend goes to Central, too. She's got honkers out to here, man.
(He holds his hands about a foot from his chest.)
You guys goin' out with anybody?
Nah. Not right now. I used to be going out with this girl, Winnie Cooper. We broke up.
Whoa! Yeah, Winnie. She's pretty cute - a little flat - but cute.
(Giggling): Kevin likes 'em flat. (Giggles) Gimme a butt, man!
I thought you didn't smoke.
(Paul lifts the beer.)
Only when I drink! (Giggles).
Yeah, well Carly Healey's no Raquel Welch, Paul.
She's got a handful!
Yeah, like you'll ever know.
You can't go out with one girl for too long. Before you know it, they like, want you to walk them in the hall. Everyday, and stuff.
Yeah, I know.
(Kevin takes a big drink of beer.)
I was starting to feel a little better about this whole Winnie Cooper thing. Hell - she was flat. And I'd be damned if I was gonna walk with her every day.
(Kevin smiles, then puffs.)
Give me another hit.
(Paul starts to giggle. Kevin puffs. Gary drinks some beer. Paul is still giggling. Kevin looks at him. Paul looks at his cigarette, then Kevin.)
What? (Shrugs.)
What, man? (Gestures.)
(Paul gestures with both hands. He is giggling and can't speak.)
I, uh, uh...I don't know. Let's go do something. (Giggles.)
Like what?
I don't care. Anything!
I know. About a quarter-mile from here, there's a cave. It's really cool.
Did he say - (Music abruptly stops.) a cave?
(Final blast of music Da-daaaa-da!. Cut to the kids walking through trees and bushes. They each have a flashlight.)
I couldn't believe it. It was just like my dream. I wanted to stop, but something kept propelling me forward. Beneath my placid innocent suburban world lurked a subterranean land of nightmare. And I was about to enter.
(A flashlight illuminates the circular entrance to the storm drain. The three of them stand close together, shining the flashlights ahead of them.)
OK, that was fun. Let's go back.
What are you talking about, man?
That's not a cave. That's a sewer. I'm not going in a sewer.
It's not a sewer. It's a storm drain.
Come on, Kevin. Don't be paranoid, man!
(Paul and Gary trot forward. Kevin hesitates.)
My god, I'd created a monster.

(In the storm drain. It is dark, and the light of the flashlights play off the wall. Sound of dripping water throughout.)
OK! This is it. Isn't this cool?
(Paul and Kevin look around. A beetle crawls over a leaf. Light, eerie music plays.)
Wow, man, this is great!
(A flashlight illuminates another drain opening.)
This pipe comes all the way from Crestview shopping center. You can crawl in there, and you'll end up right behind Sears.
This one comes from over by the rec center, near where the men's room is.
I know I was impressed.
And this one - nobody knows...where this one goes. Shhh! I thought I heard something. There was a guy once, went into that pipe to try to find out where it went...he never came out. They say he starved to death. And then there was this big storm - and the whole thing flooded, and he drowned. They didn't find him till...six...months...later.
OK, now I was really scared. And like any 12-year old boy who's trying not to show he's scared, I got argumentative.
Wait a minute. Which one was it? Did he starve to death, or did he drown?
You can't do both. It's either one or the other.
How do you know?!
Because it doesn't make any sense! I mean, he can get really, really hungry, and then drown...or he can starve to death, but he can't drown 'cause he'd be already dead.
Hey, man, look. I knew the guy. He was a friend of mine's cousin.
That means he can die twice?!
Alls I know...they just found parts of him. The rats ate the rest. Unless there's still parts of him in there.
Let's get out of here!
Hey, you're the one that wanted to come in here in the first place.
That's before I knew there were dead body parts.
Shhhh! I heard it again. Listen!
(Gary looks down. Kevin and Paul "listen". Kevin looks around. Dramatic music plays.)
(Paul looks around nervously.)
Shut up, Gary.
Come on, guys, stop!
Stop it! Come on! Stop it!!
Oooooh, I'm dying...help me! Oooooh, help me...I'm dying, oh!
Shut up, Gary.
I'm not kidding, Gary, knock it off!
Cut it out!
Stop it Gary! Stop it!
Stop it!
(Paul turns to hurry out, but trips and falls down.)
Ow! My leg!
(Kevin kneels next to Paul.)
Stop it! Stop it!
Paul, you OK?
Shut up, you jerk!
Heh-heh. God, I can't believe you guys! You're really scared? Aw, what's the matter, Pfeiffer, are you crying? Heh, God, I can't believe you - you're crying! "Ooooooooooh.. I'm dying". Heh-heh.
You're a real jackass, you know that!
"Help me... I'm dying...Oooooooh!" Heh-heh.
Shut up! Just - shut - the hell - up!
"Oooooooooh!" Heh-heh-heh. "Oh, I'm dying...ooooh"
(Kevin helps Paul up. Gary holds his flashlight to shine across his face.)
Hey! Hey, where are you going? Hey, come on - I was just kidding.
(The camera stays on Gary for a couple seconds as he looks regretful. Cut to Kevin's street as Kevin and Paul walk up the sidewalk.)
When I look back on it now, I feel sorry for Gary. When all was said and done, he was just a little kid, and I guess he needed friends. But all Paul and I knew that night was - that we wanted to go home.

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11/28/14 12:55