Episode 90 - "Stormy Weather"
OPENING SEQUENCE
Ext. Night - The Arnold House
(Shot of the yard and house. It is raining heavily.)
It always seemed that in my house, the most dramatic things...
(Thunder and lightning go off.)
Happened in the middle of the night.
Cut to
Int. Night - Jack and Norma's Bedroom
(Shot of the unlit lamp near the window. The camera pans downs toward Jack and Norma sleeping in their bed.)
Like the night of the big blizzard when Dad got stuck out on the highway...
(Norma slides her hand across his chest.)
And we thought we'd never see him again.
(He holds her arm.)
Cut to
Int. Night - Wayne's Bedroom
(High shot of Wayne sleeping restlessly. Most the covers are off his bed. Lightning flashes.)
Or the night my brother swallowed a whole bag of marbles...
(Wayne tosses and turns.)
And threw them up in the car, on the way to the hospital.
Cut to
Int. Night - Kevin's Bedroom
(Shot of the wall of the room. Lightning flashes, illuminating a poster of King Kong. The camera pans over to Kevin, asleep in his bed.)
Or the night my eight-legged science project escaped...
(The camera moves in slighty as lightning goes off.)
And turned up in Mom's nightgown at three AM.
(Kevin turns in his sleep.)
But nothing ever created quite as much confusion around my house...
(Kevin raises his head slightly and looks toward the window off-screen. Sound of a car idling, then a car door closing.)
As the night...
(Kevin sits up slowly.)
Cut to
The Living Room
(Shot of the closed front door as the doorbell rings. The door opens, revealing Karen on the porch. Lightning goes off.)
My sister came back home.
(Shot past Karen of Norma at the door, looking at her.)
NORMA: Honey? (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at them off-screen.)
KAREN: Hi.
(Shot past Karen of Norma as Jack approaches behind her.)
JACK: What time is it?
NORMA: Karen, are you alright? (Frowns.)
KAREN: I'm fine, Mom.
(Close shot of Karen looking at them off-screen.)
KAREN: Can I come in?
(Shot past Karen of Norma and Jack. They step back and Norma gestures.)
NORMA: Of course...
(Karen enters.)
KAREN: Thanks...
(Shot of Karen, Jack, and Norma as Karen walks past the camera. Jack and Norma look after her and frown slightly.)
Like I said...
(Shot of Karen as Kevin approaches from the hallway, and Jack and Norma pass the camera. Karen removes her coat.)
We weren't exactly strangers to midnight crises.
NORMA: Honey, you're soaked...
KAREN: Yeah. I know, Mom.
(Karen holds her coat toward Norma.)
(Shot of Jack and Norma as Jack looks at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: How did you get here?
KAREN (V/O): Uh, my friend Robin gave me a ride.
(Close shot of Karen looking at them off-screen as she rubs her arm.)
KAREN: Do you have any tea? (Frowns.)
(Shot of Jack and Norma looking at Karen as she passes the camera.)
NORMA: Oh, yeah...(Frowns.)
(Karen exits toward the kitchen off-screen, and Norma glances over her shoulder toward Jack.)
Still, for some reason...
(Jack looks toward Kevin off-screen.)
(Shot of Kevin as Wayne approaches from the hallway and stands next to him.)
There was something about this night that was just a tad more...
(Shot of Jack looking toward the kitchen off-screen and sighing, then exiting.)
Baffling than usual.
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne as they look at each other.)
WAYNE: Is that Karen? (Frowns.)
(Wayne looks toward the kitchen off-screen, then at Kevin.)
KEVIN: No, butthead - it's Santa Claus.
(Kevin walks past the camera. Wayne looks after him.)
WAYNE: Oh...
Cut to
The Kitchen
(Shot of Karen opening a cabinet as Jack walks past her with his hands in his robe pockets. The camera rolls back.)
JACK: Karen, what happened?
(Norma follows Jack past Karen.)
KAREN: Nothing happened. Mom? Do we have any herbal?
(Norma turn over her shoulder, then steps next to Karen.)
NORMA: Here, honey - I'll get it.
(She reaches up high.)
NORMA: It's up here.
(Norma open the highest small cupboard and removes a box.)
KAREN: Thanks.
(Jack pauses, and half-turns toward them. Kevin is leaning against the doorjamb.)
JACK: Well, somethin' must have happened...
(Close shot of Jack looking at his watch, then Karen off-screen.)
JACK: It's...two o'clock in the morning. (Gestures.)
(Shot of Karen looking in the cabinet as Kevin stands in the doorway.)
NORMA (V/O): Did you and Michael have a fight?
(Karen backs up slightly, holding a jar of honey, and gets a spoon from a drawer, then looks at Norma off-screen.)
KAREN: Something like that.
(She passes the camera.)
(Shot of Norma at the stove, and Jack leaning against the opposite counter as Karen walks past the camera.)
JACK: A fight - what kind of fight? (Frowns.)
KAREN: Daddy, I really don't want to talk about it, OK?
(Karen passes Jack and heads to the table.)
(Shot of Kevin in the doorway as Wayne enters.)
WAYNE: Do we have any pretzels?
(He opens the cabinet doors.)
JACK (V/O): Wait a minute.
(Shot of Karen and Jack seated at the table.)
JACK: What do you mean, you don't want to talk about it? You show up soakin' wet, freezing, in the middle of the night...
(Shot of Norma looking at Jack off-screen. Kevin and Wayne are approaching in the background.)
NORMA: Jack...she's upset. (Frowns.)
(Closer shot of Karen and Jack as she turns toward Norma off-screen.)
KAREN: Thats right.
(Karen looks at Jack.)
KAREN: I'm going to bed.
(She exits past the camera. Jack looks after her, slightly puzzled.)
(Shot of Norma, Wayne and Kevin as Karen walks past them.)
WAYNE: What bed?
KEVIN: What bed?
(Karen stops and turns toward them.)
KAREN: The one in my room. (Gestures.)
(She turns toward the door.)
(Shot of Kevin looking toward her off-screen, as Wayne looks at Norma off-screen, and Jack is in the background.)
KAREN (V/O) Of course.
WAYNE: She's taking my room! (Gestures.) Mom...
(Kevin looks at Wayne.)
NORMA (V/O): Honey...
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking at each other as Norma walks toward the living room.)
NORMA: Don't worry, you can sleep in Kevin's room.
(Kevin and Wayne follow after Norma.)
KEVIN: Mom!
(Shot of Jack looking after them off-screen.)
KEVIN (V/O): Wait!
Cut to
The Livingroom
(Shot of Norma approaching the camera, followed by Kevin and Wayne. The camera rolls back.)
And there ya had it.
KEVIN: Mom!
WAYNE: Can't she sleep in the garage?
(Norma looks over her shoulder as they walk forward.)
NORMA: No.
In one burst of confusion...
(Shot of Karen entering her former bedroom as Norma passes the camera.)
Karen had blown back into our house...
(Kevin and Wayne pass the camera.)
And completely...
(Shot of Norma, Wayne, and Kevin in the doorway as Jack catches up, all looking at Karen off-screen.)
Rearranged our lives.
NORMA: At least let me get you an extra blanket...(Frowns.)
(Shot past Kevin and Wayne as Karen looks off.)
NORMA (V/O): Honey...
KAREN: No, Mom...
(Karen looks at Norma off-screen.)
KAREN: I'll - I'll be fine.
(Shot of Norma, Wayen, Kevin and Jack.)
JACK: Karen! (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Karen looking at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: Look...(frowns)...I'm tired, and I'm wet, and I don't want to talk about it anymore...(Nods.)
(Shot of Norma, Wayen, Kevin and Jack frowning slightly at her off-screen.)
KAREN (V/O): OK?
The weird thing was...
(Close shot of Karen smiling tightly as she closes the door.)
(Shot past the closing door of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
KAREN (V/O): Goodnight.
(The door closes.)
None of us had any idea why.
Cut to
Ext. Morning - The Arnold House
(Shot of the house and yard as a rooster cockadoodle-do's. It is not raining.)
KEVIN (V/O): I did not.
WAYNE (V/O): Ya did so.
KEVIN (V/O): That wasn't me...
WAYNE (V/O): Yes it was, troll.
Cut to
Int. Morning - Kitchen
(Shot of Wayne, Kevin and Jack at the table.)
WAYNE: You snore tonight, you lose your tongue.
(Wayne takes a muffin from Kevin.)
KEVIN: Me?
(Kevin reaches for the muffin.)
KEVIN: What about you?
(They start to slap each others hands.)
JACK: Hey. Hey! Hey!!
(They look at Jack and settle down.)
JACK: Knock it off.
All in all, it was kind of a restless night.
(Shot past Kevin of Norma near the stove holding a cup, as Karen enters from the living room.)
KAREN: Morning!
For some of us, anyway.
(Norma turns toward her.)
NORMA: Good morning, honey. How'd ya sleep?
(Karen takes an apple from the counter.)
KAREN: Great.
(Karen walks back toward the counter.)
WAYNE (V/O): So, Karen...
(Shot of Wayne, Kevin and Jack at the table looking at Karen off-screen.)
WAYNE: What happened last night?
(Close shot of Karen as she takes a bite and paces, looking off.)
KAREN: Michael and I got into an argument.
JACK (V/O): And?
(Karen looks at Norma off-screen.)
KAREN: D'you guys have any orange juice? (Frowns.)
(She approaches the refrigerator.)
(Close shot of Norma looking at Karen off-screen.)
NORMA: Karen...(Frowns.)
KAREN (V/O): Look - It's really very simple...
(Close shot of Karen looking at them off-screen.)
KAREN: I just decided things weren't working between me and Michael.
(She steps back and shakes her head slightly.)
(Close shot of Norma looking off and frowning.)
KAREN (V/O): So, I'm moving out.
(Norma looks at Karen off-screen.)
(Shot of Wayne, Kevin and Jack looking at each other.)
Now, considering Karen had been shacking up with the guy for a year...
(Shot of Karen eating her apple.)
This was no small news.
NORMA (V/O): Honey...
(Close shot of Norma looking at Karen off-screen.)
NORMA: Does this mean you're gonna be moving back into the college dorms? (Frowns.)
(Shot of Karen as she takes a bite of her apple.)
KAREN: Not exactly. (Frowns.)
(She looks at Norma off-screen.)
KAREN: As a matter of fact...(gestures)...I was thinking of moving back here. (Nods.)
(Shot of Wayne, Kevin and Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
KEVIN & WAYNE: What?!
(Jack frowns heavily.)
(Shot of Norma facing the stove holding a spatula as Karen walks past her.)
KAREN: I'm goin' out to the garage.
(Norma looks after her and frowns.)
Needless to say, it was...
(Close shot of Wayne frowning at her off-screen, then looking worriedly at Jack off-screen, and jerking his thumb.)
A decision not without repercussions.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)
For all of us.
(Close shot of Jack looking at Norma off-screen.)
JACK: What's goin' on, here?
(Shot of Norma at the stove, looking at Jack.)
NORMA: I'm not sure she knows what she's doing. (Frowns.)
WAYNE (V/O): Well...
(Close shot of Wayne pointing and looking at Norma off-screen.)
WAYNE: Somebody better go talk to her.
(He looks at Jack off-screen and nods slightly.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)
After all, moving out was one thing...
(Close shot of Jack holding his cup, and sighing heavily.)
Moving back in was quite another.
(Jack looks at Norma off-screen.)
JACK: OK...
(Jack sets his cup down.)
JACK: I'll talk to her.
(Jack sighs and looks forward, then at the boys off-screen. Some marching drums plays.)
Cut to
The Driveway
(Shot of the corner of the kitchen as Jack, Kevin and Wayne approach toward the garage. Fife-and-drum music plays.)
So, we set out to settle the confusion. Iron out the turmoil.
(Jack passes the camera.)
(Shot of the closed garage as Jack, Kevin and Wayne pass the camera.)
Not that Dad would have to go it alone.
(Closer shot of the small door as Jack opens it.)
We had a stake in this, too.
(Kevin and Wayne try to follow Jack inside. Jack turns and frowns at them, and they step back. Jack enters closing the squeaky door behind him.)
(Shot of Karen against the wall looking at bozes of stuff. She drops something, and sets an instamatic camera down.)
JACK (V/O): Ahem. Karen?
(Close shot of Jack smiling slightly at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: What are you doin'?
(Shot of Karen as she picks up a rolled poster and turns toward Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: Did you guys throw out my Jefferson Airplane poster?
(Close shot of Jack glancing off briefly.)
JACK: I'm not sure.
(He shakes his head and frowns slightly.)
(Shot of Karen looking at the poster as she unrolls it slightly.)
KAREN: I just wanted to hang it back on my wall.
JACK (V/O): Yeah, well, about that, Karen...
(Close shot of Jack looking down, then frowning heavily and looking at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: You know everybody has fights. That happens to everybody. (Smiles.)
(Shot past Jack of Karen looking at him.)
KAREN: Yeah. Michael is the most chauvinistic, pig-headed...closed-minded man I've ever met.
(Close shot of Jack looking at Karen off-screen.)
Uh-huh.
(Shot through the door window of Wayne and Kevin looking in.)
We were off to a great start.
JACK (V/O): Listen, Karen...
(Close shot of Jack frowning slightly at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: I know you're upset and everything, but...
(Jack looks down, then at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Are you sure you want to come back here? (Gestures.)
(Shot past Jack of Karen looking at him, with her hands on her hips.)
KAREN: Why, is that a problem?
(Close shot of Jack frowning slightly at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Uh, no!
(He shakes his head slightly.)
JACK: No, it's just...
(Jack looks down again, then looks quickly at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: What about college? (Gestures.)
(Shot past Jack of Karen looking at him, with her hands on her hips.)
JACK (V/O): I mean, you got your classes, and...
(Karen sits on a box.)
KAREN: Daddy, don't worry about that...(gestures)...I'll figure it out. I mean, right now, I just wanna, you know, take some time...(gestures)...think things over...
(Close shot of Jack looking off and frowning slightly.)
KAREN (V/O): Take the summer to get things straight, OK?
JACK: Well, that...(Nods.)
(He looks at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: Sounds reasonable. (Smiles.)
(Shot through the door window of Wayne and Kevin looking in. Wayne frowns and shakes his head slightly.)
Translation...Wayne and I were condemned to one room.
KAREN (V/O): Look, Dad...
(Shot past Jack of Karen looking at him.)
KAREN: The last thing...(gestures)...I wanted to do is drag you in the middle of this thing between me and Michael.
(Close shot of Jack looking off.)
JACK: Well...
(He looks at Karen off-screen.)
JACK: That's OK.
(Shot past Jack of Karen as she stands up.)
KAREN: So, I was wondering...
(She looks off and slides her hands in her pockets.)
KAREN: Could you go up there and get my stuff? (Shrugs.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at her off-screen. Sound of a penalty buzzer.)
And suddenly...
(Shot through the door window of Wayne and Kevin looking in and frowning slightly.)
(Sound of the "ding-dong" of a doorbell.)
Cut to
Ext. Day - Karen and Michael's House
(Shot of the front door as it is opened.)
The plot began to thicken.
(Michael looks through the screen-door.)
(Shot past Michael of Kevin, Wayne and Jack on the porch, looking at him.)
(Shot of Michael looking through the screen-door at them.)
MICHAEL: Hi.
(Shot past Michael of Kevin, Wayne and Jack on the porch, looking at him.)
ARNOLDS: Hi.
(Kevin looks at Wayne, then Jack, then Michael.)
KEVIN: It's us. (Smiles.)
(Shot of Michael looking past them slightly.)
MICHAEL: Where's Karen?
(Shot past Michael of Kevin, Wayne and Jack on the porch, looking at him.)
JACK: She, ummm...
(Jack glances at the boys.)
KEVIN: She couldn't be here.
(Shot of Michael looking through the screen-door at them.)
JACK (V/O): She kinda asked us to, uh...
(Shot past Michael of Kevin, Wayne and Jack on the porch, looking at him.)
WAYNE: We came to get her loot.
(Kevin elbows Wayne.)
WAYNE: Well, we did, didn't we?
(Wayne frowns at Kevin.)
And with that...
(Shot of Michael looking through the screen-door at them.)
Cut to
Int. Day - Karen and Michael's House
(Shot of the foyer as Kevin enters and looks around.)
We were through the gates and onto the deck.
(Wayne follows Kevin in, carrying empty boxes.)
Of the Titanic.
(Sound of a deep ship's horn.)
(Jack approaches next to Wayne, looks off, and frowns.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of a very messy living room.)
JACK (V/O): Oh, brother...
Looked kinda like Heartbreak Hotel.
(Shot of Kevin, Wayne and Jack as they drop their boxes and look around. Michael enters behind them, and pauses next to Jack.)
MICHAEL: Sorry about the mess.
(Michael walks past the camera.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective as Michael picks up a pizza box and a beer bottle, and turns toward them off-screen.)
MICHAEL: I wasn't expecting...(shrugs)...company.
(Shot past Michael's arm and the pizza box of the guys.)
JACK: Look, we don't wanna put ya out - we just wanna get Karen's things.
(Close shot of Michael looking at them off-screen.)
MICHAEL: Things.
(Close shot of Jack looking at Michael off-screen.)
JACK: Yeah.
(Close shot of Michael looking down and making a tight smile.)
MICHAEL: Well, most of her things are...
(Michael looks at the guys off-screen.)
MICHAEL: Upstairs... but, uh...
(Shot of Kevin, Wayne and Jack.)
JACK: That'll be fine.
(Jack picks up a box.)
JACK: Let's go.
(Shot of Michael holding the pizza box as he looks at them off-screen.)
(Shot of Kevin, Wayne and Jack as Wayne follows Jack toward the stairs. Kevin pauses, holding a box, and looks at Michael off-screen.)
Still, I couldn't help feeling like Attila the Hun.
(Shot of Michael frowning and setting the pizza box on the table.)
Seemed like I owed the guy some word of consolation.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Michael off-screen.)
KEVIN: Sorry about all this.
(Shot of Michael as he shrugs slightly and looks off, then sniffs and frowns.)
(Shot of Kevin turning toward the stairs.)
So much for consolation.
(Shot of Michael looking at Kevin off-screen.)
It was time to get packing.
Cut to
The Bedroom
(Shot of the door as Kevin enters slowly, glancing off.)
Not that that was gonna be easy.
(Shot of Jack holding an empty box, looking off.)
In the middle of the lucky couple's bedroom.
(Shot of Kevin in the doorway.)
WAYNE (V/O): So...
(Shot past Kevin of Wayne and Jack, as Wayne looks off and smiles slightly.)
WAYNE: This is were it all happened. (Nods.)
(Michael steps past the camera and stands next to Kevin.)
(Wide shot past Jack and Wayne of Kevin and Michael at the door. Michael looks at Jack and hurries forward past Jack.)
MICHAEL: Sorry.
(Shot past Kevin of Jack and Michael, as Michael kneels on the bed and straightens it up.)
MICHAEL: Didn't have a chance to make the bed.
Clearly, there was only one thing to do.
(Shot of Kevin at the doorway. He glances around the room, then at Jack and Michael off-screen, as Wayne looks in a closet.)
Load up, and move out.
KEVIN: So...(smiles)...where do we start?
(Shot past Kevin of Jack, Michael and Wayne as Wayne approaches Michael, holding up a camping tent.)
WAYNE: How about this?
(Michael stands up and looks at it.)
(Close shot of Michael looking at Wayne off-screen.)
MICHAEL: That's our tent. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Wayne looking at the tent, then Michael off-screen.)
(Shot of Jack looking at Michael off-screen.)
MICHAEL (V/O): Karen and I were supposed to go to Mount Pine next week...
(Close shot of Michael looking from Jack off-screen to Wayne off-screen.)
MICHAEL: For our first anniversary.
(Michael looks down and frowns slightly.)
(Close shot of Wayne looking at him off-screen.)
(Shot past Kevin of Michael, Jack, and Wayne. Wayne sets the tent on the floor and Jack and Michael look at it.)
(Shot of Kevin at the door, looking at them off-screen.)
Bummer.
(Shot of Jack holding a box, looking at Michael off-screen slightly uneasy.)
JACK: Michael...
(Jack closes his eyes briefly.)
JACK: You think you can help us out with this?
(Shot of Michael looking at Jack off-screen.)
Course it was pretty clear...
(He looks at Kevin off-screen.)
(Shot of Kevin at the door, glancing off.)
The guy really didn't have a choice.
(Shot of Michael looking down.)
MICHAEL: Well...(Sighs.)
(He looks at Jack off-screen.)
MICHAEL: She keeps most her things in there.
(He turns and looks off-screen.)
(Shot of Kevin at the door, turning and looking off-screen.)
MICHAEL (V/O): The top two drawers.
(Kevin looks toward the guys off-screen.)
(Shot past Kevin of Michael, Jack, and Wayne. Jack frowns and walks forward.)
And with that, we crossed the Rubicon.
(The camera moves in slightly on Jack as he reaches for a drawer in a chest.)
(Shot over Jack's shoulder of the drawer as he opens it. Squeaky "Twilight Zone" music plays.)
And reached...
(Shot from the drawer of Jack looking at it and frowning in mild shock.)
The wall...
(Wayne moves next to Jack and looks in the drawer.)
Of underwear.
(Kevin moves next to Wayne and looks in and frowns, as does Wayne. The music ends.)
Cut to
Ext. Day - The House
(Wide shot of the Arnold car and Michael's motorcycle at the curb, and the house in the backgroung. Jack has the trunk open as Michael trots down the steps.)
Still, an hour later...
(Close shot of Jack closing the trunk.)
We were on our way.
(Jack looks toward the guys off-screen.)
JACK: Let's get outta here. (Gestures.)
(Jack starts to get his keys.)
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne at the open car door, then walking toward Jack.)
With Karen's life...in boxes.
(Shot past Jack as Michael trots toward him.)
MICHAEL: Mr. Arnold...
(Shot of Jack looking toward Michael as Michael passes the camera and pauses.)
MICHAEL (V/O): Wait!
(Shot of Michael looking at Jack off-screen.)
MICHAEL: I can't let you do this.
(Shot past Michael of Jack looking at him.)
JACK: Michael...
(Jack looks off and gestures toward the car, then looks at Michael.)
JACK: We're goin'. (Nods.)
(Shot past Jack of Michael looking off and nodding slightly, then looking at Jack.)
MICHAEL: Fine, then...I'll go with you.
(Shot past Michael of Jack looking at him, then glancing at the kids off-screen.)
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking at each other.)
(Shot past Michael of Jack looking at the kids off-screen, then at Michael.)
JACK: Uh-uh. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Michael looking at Jack off-screen.)
MICHAEL: Well, I just can't let this happen, can I?
(Michael glances off, then looks at Jack off-screen.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Michael off-screen, then looking down.)
MICHAEL (V/O): I mean, just because we had an argument...
(Jack frowns and looks uneasily at the boys off-screen.)
(Close shot of Michael looking at Jack off-screen.)
MICHAEL: Doesn't mean you move out of someone's life, do ya?
(Close shot of Jack frowning and looking down.)
JACK: Michael...
MICHAEL (V/O): I mean, you know how she is.
(Close shot of Michael looking off and gesturing animatedly.)
MICHAEL: She's stubborn, and...pig-headed...(gestures)...she won't listen to anybody.
(He looks at Jack off-screen.)
MICHAEL: What would you do? (Gestures.)
(Close shot of Jack frowning as he opens his mouth and pauses.)
Now understand...
(Jack looks at the boys off-screen.)
(Shot past Jack of Kevin, Wayne and Michael looking at him.)
My dad was a patient man. A private man. A good man.
(Shot past Michael of Jack as Jack looks down and puts his hand in his pocket, looking uncomfortable.)
But he was no Ann Landers.
(Jack looks at Michael.)
JACK: Look, Michael...(gestures)...what you do is your business. All I know is I never wanted you two...(gestures)...livin' like this in the first place.
(He raises his eyebrows and gestures with both arms.)
And with that...
(Shot past Jack of Wayne, Kevin and Michael as Jack crosses the shot toward the car.)
We'd reached the bottom line.
(Michael looks off and puts his hands on his hips.)
MICHAEL: Yeah, neither did I.
(Close shot of Jack pausing and frowning at Michael off-screen, then approaching him.)
JACK: What did you say? (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Michael looking at Jack off-screen.)
MICHAEL: Well, that's what the fight was about. (Frowns.)
(Close shot of Jack frowning at Michael off-screen.)
MICHAEL (V/O): Didn't she tell you?
(Close shot of Michael glancing off briefly and frowning, then looking at Jack off-screen.)
MICHAEL: I wanted to marry her. (Nods.)
(Close shot of Jack frowning at Michael off-screen, then glancing at the boys off-screen.)
(Wide shot of all as Michael looks off and puts his hands on his hips.)
Cut to
Int. Day - Arnold Kitchen
(Wide shot of Karen setting the table as Kevin enters, carrying a box.)
KEVIN: Hi, Mom!
NORMA (V/O): Hi, honey!
(Shot of Norma at the stove, smiling at Kevin off-screen as she lifts the aluminum foil off a pan of meat.)
NORMA: Just in time to eat.
(Shot of Karen and Kevin as Jack enters, carrying a box.)
Two hours later we were home with the goods.
(Shot past Jack of Karen looking at him, as Norma stands at the stove.)
KAREN: Did you get all my things?
(Shot of Jack and Kevin.)
JACK: Yeah, I think we got everything.
(Jack smiles at Karen off-screen and glances at Kevin.)
Yep. Books, records...
(Jack looks toward Norma off-screen.)
Underwear...
(Shot past Jack of Norma at the stove, looking toward the window.)
(Norma turns and looks at Jack, slightly puzzled.)
(Shot of Karen turning toward Jack and frowning slightly.)
Plus a few things...
(Shot of Jack and Kevin looking at each other uneasily.)
That maybe weren't on the list.
(Shot past Karen of the doorway as Michael enters and pauses.)
(Shot past Michael of Karen frowning and looking down.)
(Shot past Karen of Michael looking at her.)
MICHAEL: Hi.
(Shot past Michael of Karen looking at Michael, and then at Jack off-screen.)
(Shot of Jack and Kevin, as Jack frowns and looks down, and Kevin sets his box down gently.)
(Shot past Michael of Karen looking off, dropping some silverware into the drawer next to her, and looking at Jack off-screen.)
KAREN: I don't believe you.
(She shakes her head slightly, and walks past the camera.)
(Shot of Jack and Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
(Shot of Michael looking forward as Karen walks past him, outside.)
And, in the glow of that heart-warming moment...
(Shot of Jack and Kevin, as Jack looks down, and Kevin looks after her off-screen.)
(Shot past Jack of Norma looking at Michael off-screen.)
There was only one thing to say.
(Close shot of Michael looking at Norma off-screen and sighing slightly in embarrassment, glancing at the guys off-screen, then looking at Norma again.)
MICHAEL: So...(shrugs)...what's for dinner? (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Kevin glancing from Michael off-screen to Norma off-screen, then looking off and frowning slightly.)
Fade to
The Dining Room
(Shot of Jack looking down as he picks at his food. The camera pans slowly toward Wayne as he eats.)
And so, we sat down to sup.
(The camera pans slowly toward Kevin.)
The traditional Arnold nuclear family unit...
(The camera pans slowly to Norma, who is frowning slightly at Jack off-screen.)
Plus...
(The camera pans slightly to Michael, who is looking at Jack off-screen.)
The man who came to dinner.
(Michael looks down, then glances at Norma, then Kevin off-screen, then Norma again.)
MICHAEL: The meatloaf is delicious, Mr. Arnold. (Gestures.)
(Norma frowns and nods slightly, glances at Kevin off-screen, then looks at Michael.)
NORMA: Thank you.
(Shot from behind Michael of Wayne and Kevin. Wayne eats as Kevin looks at Michael.)
It was kinda like having a two-ton elephant at the table.
(Kevin looks at Jack off-screen.)
(Shot past Norma of Jack looking at her, then Michael off-screen, and smiling slightly as he pokes at his food.)
Not that we couldn't be hospitable...
(Shot past Jack of Norma looking at Michael off-screen.)
About the whole thing.
(Norma raises her eyebrows and smiles at Michael off-screen.)
NORMA: You know, Michael, I...really wasn't expecting you here. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Michael looking forward.)
MICHAEL: Yeah...
(He looks down slightly, then looks at Norma off-screen.)
MICHAEL: I guess not. (Snorts.)
(He looks down as Jack chuckles off-screen.)
(Michael smiles at Jack off-screen.)
(Shot past Norma of Jack smiling and nodding uncomfortably at Michael off-screen, then looking at Norma.)
(Shot past Michael of Kevin smiling at him briefly.)
(Close shot of Norma frowning slightly at Michael off-screen.)
NORMA: So...(smiles)...why are you here? (Nods.)
(Close shot of Michael turning toward Norma and looking off.)
MICHAEL: I...
WAYNE (V/O): Simple.
(Shot of Wayne and Kevin, as Wayne looks at Norma off-screen.)
WAYNE: Uh, Dad invited him.
(Shot past Norma of Jack frowning and quickly looking at Wayne off-screen.)
(Shot past Jack of Norma looking at him.)
NORMA: What?! (Frowns.)
(Shot past Norma of Jack smiling uncomfortably at her.)
JACK: No, Norma. I, uh...didn't...
(Jack looks off and hesitates, then looks at Norma.)
JACK: Invite him.
(He shrugs and smiles slightly.)
(Close shot of Michael looking at Jack off-screen.)
MICHAEL: No! (Frowns.)
(He looks at Norma off-screen and smiles.)
MICHAEL: He didn't invite me.
(Shot of Kevin looking at Norma off-screen.)
KEVIN: Yeah. Mom, he just...
(Shot of Karen approaching from the kitchen.)
NORMA (V/O): Jack...
(Shot of Michael looking toward Karen off-screen.)
And it was time for another lovebird...
(Closer shot of Karen pausing and looking at Michael off-screen.)
Serenade.
KAREN: Hi.
(Shot of Michael looking toward Karen off-screen.)
MICHAEL: Hi.
(Shot of Karen taking a step along the wall and looking at Michael off-screen.)
(Close shot of Michael looking down.)
MICHAEL: Look, Karen...why don't...
(He looks at Karen off-screen.)
MICHAEL: We take a walk and talk this over?
(Shot of Karen looking at Michael off-screen.)
KAREN: There's nothing to talk about.
(Close shot of Michael looking toward Karen off-screen.)
MICHAEL: What does that mean? (Frowns.)
(Shot of Karen looking at Michael off-screen.)
KAREN: Michael...(Frowns.)
MICHAEL (V/O): Karen...
(Close shot of Michael looking toward Karen off-screen.)
MICHAEL: All I did...(frowns)...was ask you to marry me.
(Shot past Jack of Norma looking down, then looking at Michael off-screen.)
Woops.
(Shot of Wayne and Kevin looking toward Norma off-screen.)
(Shot past Jack of Norma looking at Michael off-screen, slightly surprised.)
NORMA: I beg your pardon?
(Shot past Norma of Jack looking at her.)
JACK: Norma, I was gonna...
(Shot of Karen looking at Michael off-screen.)
KAREN: Fine, Michael. You want to talk about it? (Frowns.) Let's talk about it. Marriage is an antiquated, male-centered institution. And...(frowns)...I don't believe in it!
(Close shot of Michael looking toward Karen off-screen.)
MICHAEL: Institution? (Frowns.) Karen, this is you and me! Not some...(shrugs)...building.
(Shot of Karen looking at Michael off-screen.)
KAREN: Fine. You can make a joke of it.
MICHAEL (V/O): Karen - I am not joking.
(Shot past Jack of Norma looking at Karen off-screen.)
KAREN (V/O): Yes, you are, Michael.
(Norma looks at Michael off-screen.)
NORMA: Wait. (Gestures.)
(Shot of Wayne and Kevin looking toward Norma off-screen.)
NORMA (V/O): Please.
But if Mom meant to untie...
(Shot past Jack of Norma lifting a bowl of mashed potatoes.)
The tangle, here...
NORMA: It seems to me...
(She looks at Jack.)
KAREN (V/O): Look.
(Shot of Karen looking at Michael off-screen.)
KAREN: It's really very simple...I don't want to spend the rest of my life making meatloaf...(Gestures.)
(Shot past Jack of Norma looking at Karen off-screen, holding the mashed potatoes.)
KAREN (V/O): And mashed potatoes.
(Norma looks at the potatoes.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Norma off-screen.)
The tangle got worse.
(Close shot of Michael looking toward Karen off-screen.)
MICHAEL: Karen, why do you always have to be like this? (Frowns.)
(Shot of Karen looking at Michael off-screen as she steps backward into the doorway.)
KAREN: See? You're already trying to change me!
(Close shot of Michael looking toward Karen off-screen.)
MICHAEL: I am not!
(Shot of Karen looking at Michael off-screen.)
KAREN: Michael? I want you to leave.
(Close shot of Michael looking toward Karen off-screen, then snorting and looking forward.)
(Shot of Karen looking at Michael off-screen.)
KAREN: Now.
(Close shot of Michael looking down as he frowns and nods slightly, then looks at Karen off-screen, and starts to stand up.)
(Wide shot from the living room as Michael stands up and pulls his jacket off the chair, then walks toward Karen.)
MICHAEL: Fine.
(Close shot of Karen and Michael. She looks down as he squeezes past her and walks toward the door.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the kitchen off-screen.)
And there ya had it.
(Shot of Karen looking at Norma off-screen as she starts to walk off.)
(Wide shot from the living room as Karen approaches.)
It was as if a tornado had...
(Karen passes the camera.)
Blown through our house. And left...
(Shot past Norma of Jack looking toward Karen off-screen and frowning.)
No survivors.
(He glances at Norma.)
(Shot past Jack of Norma as she sets her napkin down and looks at Jack.)
NORMA: Would you mind getting the dishes, Jack? (Frowns.)
(She scoots her chair back and rises.)
(Wide shot from the living room as Norma passes the camera.)
(Wayne looks at Jack.)
WAYNE: Dad, can I have his roll? (Points.)
(Kevin punches Wayne on the shoulder.)
Cut to
Ext. Afternoon - Driveway
(Close shot of Michael's boot and his motorcycle engine as he kick-starts it.)
(Shot past Michael as Kevin approaches between the car and house.)
KEVIN: Michael!
(Michael looks over his shoulder as Kevin trots forward.)
Maybe it was dumb I went out there, but...
(The camera pulls back and pans over slightly as Kevin stops next to Michael.)
He was I guy I admired, and I didn't want him...
(Kevin glances over his shoulder, then looks at Michael.)
To just leave.
KEVIN: You're not gonna just go like this, are you? (Gestures.)
(Shot past Kevin of Michael as he looks off and smiles slightly, then looks at Kevin.)
MICHAEL: I don't think she really left me a choice.
KEVIN: Yeah, but...
(Shot past Michael of Kevin looking at him.)
KEVIN: I've known my sister all my life. (Shrugs.) She never means anything she says.
(Shot past Kevin of Michael as he shrugs slightly.)
Well, nice try, anyway.
MICHAEL: I'm pretty sure...(nods)... she meant it, Kevin. (Frowns.)
KEVIN: But...
(Shot past Michael looking down, of Kevin looking at him.)
I dunno...
(Michael looks at Kevin, who glances off.)
It just seemed I should say something to make this better. Something about men.
(Shot past Kevin of Michael looking at him.)
And women. And human...
(Close shot of Kevin looking down.)
Relationships.
(Kevin looks at Michael off-screen.)
KEVIN: Maybe she'll change her mind.
(Shot past Kevin of Michael looking at him.)
MICHAEL: Yeah. (Nods.) Well...(Shrugs.)
(Michael pats Kevin on the shoulder.)
MICHAEL: Thanks for the advice. (Nods.)
(Wider shot of both as Michael puts the kick-stand up.)
KEVIN: Yeah.
MICHAEL: Seeya.
(Shot past Kevin as Michael rides down the driveway.)
(Close shot of Kevin watching him off-screen.)
(Shot of Michael riding up the street. The camera pans with him as a Karmann Ghia approaches.)
Fade to
Int. Eve. - Living Room
(Shot past the TV of Jack slumped in the corner of the couch, resting his head against his fist, looking off.)
For the rest of that day...nobody really said much.
Cut to
Jack and Norma's Bedroom
(Shot of Norma in her robe, looking down as she writes.)
For some reason, we all pretty much kept to ourselves.
(Norma pauses and frowns slightly.)
Cut to
Kevin and Wayne's Bedroom
(Shot of Kevin asleep in bed.)
The funny thing is...you'd think a marriage proposal would bring a family together.
(Kevin tosses and adjusts the blanket as the camera pulls back slightly to include Wayne asleep in his bed.)
But this was nineteen-seventy-two.
(A light shines briefly into the room. Sound of an idling motorcycle is heard.)
Things had gotten very complicated.
(Kevin opens his eyes and frowns as he starts to get up.)
(Shot through the window of Michael parking his motorcycle at the curb. Kevin passes the camera and looks out.)
(Shot through the window of Kevin looking out as Wayne rises onto his elbow.)
WAYNE: What's goin' on?
KEVIN: I don't know. (Frowns.)
(Shot of Michael walking onto the yard, carrying the tent slung over his shoulder, then pausing.)
It was kinda like watching the Marines land at Omaha beach.
(Michael drops the tent onto the ground.)
JACK (V/O): What's this all about?
Cut to
Living Room
(Shot toward the hallway as Kevin enters from his room.)
KAREN (V/O): How should I know?
(Shot of Karen, Norma and Jack looking out the windows.)
JACK: He's pitchin' that damn tent.
(Shot through the window of Karen and Kevin, as Karen peers through the blinds and knocks on the glass.)
KAREN: Michael?
(Shot of Michael in the yard. The floor portion of the tent is laid out.)
KAREN (V/O): Michael. Have you lost your mind?
(Michael kneels at the corner of the tent and reaches into his jacket pocket.)
(Close shot through the window of Karen looking at Michael off-screen, and knocking on the glass.)
KAREN: Michael!
(Shot through the window of Michael looking toward the house.)
But somehow, the guy didn't appear in the mood for conversation.
(He looks down and starts to hammer a stake into the ground.)
(Shot of Kevin as Wayne approaches and stands next to him and points.)
WAYNE: He's lost it. (Frowns.)
(Kevin looks at Wayne, then looks toward the window off-screen.)
KEVIN: You're tellin' me.
(Closer shot of Karen, Norma and Jack as Norma looks at Karen, then out the window.)
NORMA: I think you better do something, Jack.
(Jack looks at Norma.)
JACK: Me?!
(Jack looks out the window and chuckles as he frowns.)
(Shot through the window of Michael walking to the other corner of the tent and kneeling.)
JACK (V/O): He's not gonna listen to me.
(Shot of Karen, Norma and Jack.)
NORMA: Alright, then...
(Norma looks down as she adjusts the belt on her robe.)
NORMA: I'll talk to him.
(Shot past Norma of Karen looking out the window.)
KAREN: No. I don't want anyone talking to him.
(Karen turns toward Norma.)
KAREN: This is between Michael, and me. (Gestures.)
(Shot past Karen of Norma and Jack looking at her.)
NORMA: Karen!
(Shot past Norma of Karen looking at her.)
KAREN: Mom? I'll handle this.
(Shot past Kevin of Karen, Norma and Jack.)
Leaving one small question.
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking at her off-screen. Wayne has his hands on his hips.)
KEVIN: So, what are you gonna do? (Gestures.)
KAREN (V/O): Nothing.
(Shot past Kevin of Karen, Norma and Jack, as Karen looks at him.)
KAREN: I'll just ignore him.
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking at her off-screen.)
(Shot past Kevin of Karen, Norma and Jack, as they look at each other.)
KAREN: I'm going to bed.
(Shot of Kevin and Wayne as she passes the camera and walks between them.)
KAREN: Goodnight...
(Wayne looks at Kevin and gestures as Kevin looks after her. They look toward Jack and Norma off-screen.)
And, there really wasn't a whole lot left for...
(Shot of Jack and Norma looking after Karen off-screen.)
The rest of us to do.
(Norma looks toward the window as a dog barks in the distance.)
(Shot of Michael kneeling near a tent stake, with the house in the background. He stands up and looks at the tent.)
Cut to
Int. Night - Kitchen
(Shot of Wayne, Kevin and Jack at the table. Wayne and Jack rest their heads in their hands.)
Except, of course...hide in the kitchen.
NORMA (V/O): No, Mrs. Litton, he's not one of those...
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Norma on the phone.)
NORMA: Agitators...He's, uh, a friend of the family.....I'm sure he'll be gone in the morning. Yeah. Sorry.
(Shot of Wayne, Kevin and Jack at the table.)
There we were. Prisoners in our own house. Bunkered down at three AM...
(Shot of Norma hanging up the phone.)
While some maniac...
(Norma looks at Jack off-screen, then looks off and frowns.)
Banged tent-poles into our flower patch.
(Close shot of Kevin frowning heavily.)
KEVIN: Ya know, this is stupid!
(Kevin looks toward Jack off-screen.)
(Close shot of Jack looking at Kevin off-screen.)
KEVIN (V/O): Ya know that, don't ya?
(Close shot of Kevin frowning at Norma off-screen.)
KEVIN: I mean, are we just gonna sit here all night?
(He looks at Jack off-screen, then Wayne off-screen.)
KEVIN: We can't.
(Close shot of Wayne with his head in his hand, frowning slightly.)
KEVIN (V/O): Right? I mean, that would be idiotic.
(Close shot of Kevin looking from Wayne to Jack off-screen.)
KEVIN: So, I think we should do something.
There. It was a clear...
(Close shot of Jack looking at Kevin off-screen.)
And bold call for action.
WAYNE (V/O): Mom?
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Norma off-screen, then Wayne off-screen.)
(Close shot of Wayne looking at Norma off-screen.)
WAYNE: Is there any more meatloaf? (Frowns.)
(Shot of Norma frowning at Wayne off-screen.)
(Close shot of Wayne looking from Kevin to Norma off-screen, and shrugging.)
(Shot of Norma looking at Jack off-screen.)
NORMA: I'll make some coffee.
(She walks slowly across the kitchen.)
The truth was clear.
(Norma lifts the coffee pot.)
(Close shot of Kevin glancing off.)
This problem was too big for us to solve by ourselves.
(Close shot of Norma looking at the coffee pot as she takes the lid off.)
It was gonna take something bigger.
(Shot of Wayne, Kevin and Jack at the table.)
Something more powerful.
(Thunder and lightning go off. Kevin and Wayne look toward the kitchen door off-screen.)
(Shot of Norma looking over her shoulder toward the kitchen window, then turning toward the guys off-screen.)
Cut to
The Livingroom
(Wide shot of Karen looking out the window.)
(Shot of the kitchen doorway as Kevin, Wayne and Jack walk toward the living room and pause. Norma follows them out.)
(Closer shot of Karen looking out the window.)
NORMA (V/O): Karen?
(She looks over her shoulder at them off-screen.)
KAREN: Hi...
(She looks out the window.)
(Shot of Kevin, Wayne, Jack and Norma. Jack and Norma look at each other.)
The thing is, she looked almost...frightened.
(Shot of Karen looking out the window as thunder and lightning go off.)
As if there was something out there that scared her to death.
(Karen moves slightly closer to the window and peers out.)
(Shot though the window of Karen looking out, then looking down, then out again.)
(Shot of the yard and house. Michael stands between the tent and the house, facing Karen.)
And maybe there was.
(Shot past Karen of Jack as he approaches. The others are in the background.)
(Shot of Karen and Jack as Jack glances at the others off-screen.)
(Shot of Kevin, Norma and Wayne looking at him off-screen.)
(Shot of Jack and Karen as he looks past her out the window. Thunder and lightning go off.)
JACK: I thought you went back to bed.
KAREN: I did. I just - I couldn't sleep...
(She shakes her head slightly.)
(Close shot through the window of Karen looking out. She shakes her head slightly.)
KAREN: This is insane. (Nods.)
(Shot through the window of Michael facing the house.)
And we all knew it was.
(Shot of Kevin, Norma and Wayne looking at Karen off-screen.)
I guess love always is.
(Shot of Jack and Karen looking out the window.)
KAREN: He's just standing there. What is he doing?
JACK: Well, for one thing - he's gettin' pretty wet.
(Shot through the window of Michael facing the house, as thunder goes off.)
(Shot through the window of Jack looking out.)
JACK: I'll tell ya somethin', though...any guy who'd go through all this...
(Shot through the window of Karen looking out.)
JACK (V/O): Then stand out there in the rain...
(Shot through the window of Jack looking out.)
JACK: Must be really crazy about you. (Frowns.)
(Shot through the window of Karen looking out.)
KAREN: Daddy, what am I supposed to do?
(Shot through the window of Jack looking out.)
But the fact was...
(Jack looks toward the others off-screen and takes a breath.)
We'd done just about everything any family could.
(Shot of Kevin, Norma and Wayne. Kevin and Wayne look at each other as Norma turns toward the kitchen.)
(Shot through the window of Jack looking out.)
From now on...it was...
(Shot through the window of Karen looking out.)
Out of our hands.
NORMA (V/O): Karen?
(Shot past Jack and Karen of Norma approaching with a thermos.)
NORMA: It's freezing out there. I'm gonna bring him some coffee.
(Shot past Norma of Karen leaning closer to the window, peering out through the blinds.)
KAREN: No...
(Karen turns and looks at the thermos, then Norma.)
KAREN: I'll do it.
(Norma hands her the thermos. Some Snuffy guitar plays.)
Like I said...
(Shot past Jack of Karen, Norma and Kevin as Karen approaches the camera.)
Anything really important that happened at my house...
(Karen passes the camera. The others look after her off-screen.)
Cut to
Ext. Night - The Front Yard
(Shot past Michael and the tent as Karen hurries out, then pauses near the edge of the grass. Thunder goes off.)
Happened in the middle of the night.
(Shot of Michael looking at Karen off-screen.)
(Shot past Michael of Karen looking at him.)
KAREN: You cold?
(Shot of Michael looking at Karen off-screen.)
MICHAEL: Nah...(Gestures.)
(He glances up.)
MICHAEL: A little. (Nods.)
(Shot past Michael of Karen approaching him, then holding out the thermos.)
KAREN: Here.
(Michael reaches for it.)
(Shot past Karen of Michael looking at her.)
MICHAEL: What took you so long?
(Shot past Michael of Karen looking at him and smiling.)
KAREN: Jerk.
(She smiles as they hug.)
(Wider shot of them hugging.)
In a way, it was a relief to all of us.
(Shot through the window of Norma and Jack looking out.)
We weren't really good at things like...
(Jack smiles slightly and puts his arm around Norma's shoulder.)
Romance.
(Shot through the window of Wayne and Kevin looking out.)
We were better at marbles, and eight-legged...
(Closer shot of Karen and Michael hugging.)
Science projects.
(They pull apart.)
MICHAEL: Look, Karen...
(Shot past Karen of Michael looking at her.)
MICHAEL: I don't care...(frowns)...about getting married...being married. I just...want us to be together.
(Shot past Michael of Karen smiling slightly at him.)
(Shot past Karen of Michael looking at her.)
(Shot past Michael of Karen looking at him.)
KAREN: What took you so long?
(Shot past Karen of Michael looking at her and smiling.)
(Shot past Michael of Karen as they hug.)
(Shot from behind Karen as they hug. Thunder and lightning go off.)
Ten days later...Karen asked Michael to marry her.
(Music "Desperado" - Linda Ronstadt starts.)
"Desperado"
And he accepted.
(Shot through the window of Wayne and Kevin looking out.)
"Why don't you come to your senses"
(Shot through the window of Norma and Jack looking out. She smiles slightly and holds Jack's hand.)
"Come down from your fences"
(Shot past Jack and Norma of Karen and Michael hugging.)
"Open the gate"
"It may be rainin'"
(Shot of Wayne, Kevin, Norma and Jack at the windows looking out.)
"But there's a rainbow above you"
(The camera pulls up and back past Karen, Michael, and the tent as thunder and lightning go off.)
"You better let somebody love you"
"You better let somebody love you"
"Before it's too late"
Fade to
CLOSING CREDITS
Supporting Cast
Michael - David Schwimmer
Music
"Desperado" - Eagles > Linda Ronstadt
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Episode Titles/Transcripts
Episode Info
Wonder Years Menu
09/06/00 22:00