Episode 89 - "The Lost Weekend"



OPENING SEQUENCE

("Colonel Bogey's March" plays throughout.)

(Clip of swimming sperm.)

Genetics. The heartbeat of heredity...

(Clip of sperm and an egg.)

The lynch-pin of the family.

(Clips of wriggling cells.)

(Clip of a fertilized egg dividing.)

Parents supply their children with the same basic building blocks.

(Clip of blood pumping through a developing heart.)

The same blood types. The same involuntary responses.

(Clip of a tiny beating heart.)

The same essential gene-pool. Yet, despite all this potential for similarity...

(Clip of a small embryo in the womb.)

Sometimes things get confused.

(The image of the embryo gets smaller.)

Sometimes, Mother Nature, in all her wry sense of humor...

Fade to

Int. Morning - Arnold Bathroom

(Shot of Kevin brushing his hair in front of the mirror.)

Goes off and creates...

WAYNE: Move, butthead.

(Wayne bumps Kevin sideways away from the mirror. Wayne has toothpaste all over his lips and dribbling down his chin.)

(Music grinds down.)

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne in the mirror.)

Total and complete opposites.

(Kevin shoves Wayne. The camera pulls back slowly.)

KEVIN: Try to get some toothpaste in your mouth - it might help, buttbreath.

(Kevin brushes his hair as Wayne brushes his teeth, and spits in the sink.)

Like me and my brother, Wayne. It was hard to believe we ever occupied the same womb.

(Shot past Wayne of Kevin as he turns and frowns.)

KEVIN: That's disgusting.

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne as Wayne reaches into a drawer.)

WAYNE: Where's the deodorant?

KEVIN: You haven't even showered yet.

WAYNE: Well, I'm...dry-cleaning.

(Wayne sticks the deodorant under his robe and applies it.)

The only thing we had in common...

(Wayne sticks his toothbrush in his mouth, switches the deodorant to his other hand, and sticks it under his robe.)

Was our complete and utter contempt for one another.

(Wayne flaps his arms, then puts the cap on the deodorant and tosses it into the drawer. Kevin frowns.)

KEVIN: You're really gross. You know that?

(Wayne looks at Kevin and shrugs.)

WAYNE: So?

(Shot through the doorway of Wayne and Kevin looking in the mirror.)

JACK (V/O): Wayne?!

(Jack walks slightly past the camera, as Wayne quickly turns toward him.)

(Shot past Wayne of Jack in the doorway, frowning.)

JACK: How many times I have to tell ya to leave my things alone?

(Shot past Jack of Wayne and Kevin. Wayne still has the toothbrush in his mouth.)

WAYNE: I'm sorry, Dad. Uh, it'll never happen again.

(Shot past Wayne of Jack in the doorway, frowning, then sighing.)

All in all...

(Jack frowns again, then turns and walks away.)

(Shot though the doorway of Kevin and Wayne, as Kevin chuckles.)

My brother and I were just two different branches...

(Wayne turns to face Kevin.)

On the family tree.

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne smiling, still with the toothbrush in his mouth.)

(Shot through the doorway as Wayne pushes Kevin on the shoulder.)

Me, the good branch...

(Kevin frowns and hits Wayne on the arm.)

Wayne...

(Wayne turns to the sink.)

The dead-end.

(Wayne spits into the sink.)

Cut to
HR WIDTH=30% ALIGN=LEFT> Int. Morning - Arnold Kitchen

(Shot of the closed door as Jack enters hurriedly. The camera pulls back as he approaches.)

JACK: You got the wedding invitation, Norma?

(The camera pulls back past Norma at the sink, stirring a bowl. The camera moves back to the dining room doorway. Norma turns over her shoulder as Jack moves to the opposite counter.)

NORMA: It's in my beauty-case, honey.

(Norma turns back to the bowl as Jack looks down at a map.)

JACK: We should take...

(Shot from Kevin's viewpoint of Norma at the sink, and Jack at the opposite counter.)

JACK: Route 93 through Hutsonville and avoid the traffic.

(Norma crosses the kitchen with the bowl, toward the refrigerator.)

NORMA: I can't believe that Iris is finally getting married.

(Norma opens the refrigerator and sets the bowl inside.)

April, 1972.

(Shot of Wayne and Kevin at the kitchen table, eating breakfast.)

History was being made. For the first time in our lives, our parents were leaving us alone for the weekend. To us it meant freedom, independence.

(Wayne and Kevin look at each other and smile slightly.)

NORMA (V/O): Boys?

(They look toward Norma off-screen.)

(Close shot of Norma leaning back past Jack, looking at the boys off-screen.)

NORMA: The white casserole dish is for tonight, and the cold-cuts are for Saturday.

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking at Norma off-screen.)

And, of course, instructions.

KEVIN: Right, Mom. (Nods.)

(They resume eating.)

JACK (V/O): There's a list of chores on the fridge.

(Shot from Kevin's viewpoint of Jack looking toward him, as Norma pours coffee from the percolator.)

JACK: I want them done when we get back.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: Right, Dad. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Wayne.)

NORMA (V/O): And Wayne...

(Wayne looks toward Norma off-screen.)

(Close shot of Norma frowning at Wayne off-screen.)

NORMA: Don't leave your towels by the heater while we're gone...(Nods.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Norma off-screen. He frowns and looks down.)

WAYNE: I won't! (Nods.)

(Close shot of Jack looking up from the map toward Wayne off-screen.)

JACK: You did last week, and look what happened.

(Jack looks down at the map.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Jack off-screen.)

WAYNE: W-I put it out!

JACK (V/O): Wayne!

(Shot from Kevin's viewpoint of Norma turning around holding a thermos, and holding her hand out toward Jack at at the opposite counter.)

NORMA: Honey - we better go.

(Norma gathers up the coffee and approaches the table.)

JACK: Yeah.

(Wide shot from the dining room door as Norma gets her purse from the table.)

NORMA: And you have the number where we'll be...

(Norma reaches across the counter for two empty cups.)

WAYNE: Right, Mom.

KEVIN: Right, Mom.

(Jack walks toward the door with a large valise.)

JACK: And don't forget those chores!

(Norma opens the door and exits. Jack pauses behind her and looks toward the boys.)

JACK: And don't tie up the line in case we want to call you.

(Jack takes a step through the door, then pauses and looks back at the boys.)

JACK: And I don't want a lot of kids over here while we're gone this weekend - ya got that?!

(Kevin looks at Jack and frowns and nods.)

KEVIN: Dad! We're not babies, anymore - we can take care of ourselves.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Jack at the door looking at him.)

Well, in a manner of speaking, anyway.

(Jack sighs and exits.)

WAYNE: Don't worry, Dad...

(Shot of Wayne and Kevin looking toward the door off-screen, as Wayne frowns and gestures.)

WAYNE: I'll look after him...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the door as Jack leans in and frowns.)

(Shot of Wayne looking toward the door off-screen and smiling, as Kevin looks at him and frowns.)

(Sound of the door swinging shut.)

(Wayne looks at Kevin.)

Cut to

Driveway

(Wide shot from the garage of the car in the driveway, as Jack puts the valise in the open trunk, and Norma walks to the passenger side. The camera moves in.)

Not that as loyal loving children...

(Jack closes the trunk.)

We weren't going to miss our parents...

(Shot toward the garage as Kevin and Wayne approach the camera.)

WAYNE: Dad? (Smiles.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Jack pausing at the open door, with his back to the camera. Norma takes the thermos off the car roof.)

JACK: Yeah?

(Shot of Wayne and Kevin looking toward the car off-screen.)

WAYNE: You gonna give us any money? (Gestures.)

(Shot past Kevin as Jack turns at the car door and sighs, as Wayne approaches him.)

JACK: Here's a twenty.

(Shot past Jack of Wayne.)

JACK: It's the smallest I got. Split it. (Nods.)

(Wayne takes the bill.)

WAYNE: Thanks. (Smiles.)

(Wayne chuckles and turns away.)

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne approaching, as Norma gestures with the thermos.)

NORMA: Are you sure you two boys are gonna be alright?

KEVIN: Yeah, Mom. Have a good time. (Gestures.)

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking toward the car off-screen.)

WAYNE: Yeah. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. (Laughs.)

(Close shot of Jack looking over his shoulder at Wayne off-screen.)

(Shot across the car of Norma smiling at Jack off-screen, then getting into the car.)

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking toward the car off-screen. Sound of the car starting up, as the boys smile and wave.)

NORMA (V/O): Bye!

(Wayne smiles and waves again.)

And with that...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Norma leaning out her window as the car pulls forward.)

NORMA: Don't be late for school!

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking toward the car off-screen and smiling, as Wayne puts the money in his pocket.)

My parents were gone.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the car going down the street.)

Leaving us to defend the Arnold family fortress.

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking toward the car off-screen. Wayne smiles and waves quickly, then puts his hands on his hips.)

WAYNE: Well...

(They look at each other.)

WAYNE: I'm outta here.

(Wayne steps forward as Kevin grabs his arm.)

(Shot past Wayne of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Wait a minute. You're going to school early?

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne.)

WAYNE: No! (Frowns.) There's no school today - it's a holiday. It's national "parents go away day."

(Wayne makes a face and chuckles, then walks forward.)

(Shot of Kevin frowning and looking off, as Wayne walks past him out of the shot.)

WAYNE: (V/O): Ta-ta, scrote!

(Kevin looks toward Wayne off-screen.)

(Wide shot of Kevin in the driveway, as Wayne approaches his car at the curb.)

So much for defending the old fortress...

(Shot of Kevin looking past the camera at Wayne off-screen.)

KEVIN: Hey!

(Kevin hurries toward the camera.)

KEVIN: Hey, what about my money?

(Closer shot of Wayne approaching the door of his car as he puts the key in the door. He looks up as Kevin passes the camera.)

KEVIN: Wayne, ya owe me ten bucks! (Gestures.)

WAYNE: Oh!

(Wayne smiles and slaps his pockets, then gestures.)

WAYNE: Fresh out of change. (Smiles.)

(Shot past Wayne of Kevin frowning.)

KEVIN: Wayne! (Gestures.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking down, then at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: I'm sorry...(frowns.)

(Wayne opens the door.)

WAYNE: It'll never happen again...(Smiles.)

(Shot past Wayne of Kevin, as Wayne gets in and sits down.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective as Wayne looks over his shoulder and smiles.)

WAYNE: Don't wait up for me, honey.

(Shot past Wayne's car of Kevin, as Wayne starts the car and pulls away, with a loud backfire.)

(Shot from Kevin's viewpoint of Wayne smiling and waving as he drives away.)

And suddenly, for the first time in my life...

(Sound of a backfire as Wayne exits the shot.)

(Wide shot of Kevin on the curb, looking at Wayne off-screen.)

I found myself completely alone - with one empty house...

(Kevin looks over his shoulder.)

Two days to myself...

(Kevin looks after Wayne off-screen.)

And nothing to do but...

CHUCK (V/O): I know!

Cut to

Cafeteria

(Close shot of Chuck smiling and looking around at the guys off-screen.)

CHUCK: Let's have a party!

(Close shot of Kevin looking blankly at Chuck off-screen.)

Head directly for trouble.

(Shot of Ricky and Randy smiling.)

(Shot past an empty table of Kevin at the far end on the next table, and Ricky and Randy, and Chuck and Paul, sitting opposite each other.)

KEVIN: Come on, guys - my parents said they didn't want a lot of people there.

RANDY: What people?

(Shot of Ricky and Randy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

RANDY: It's just us guys.

(Ricky nods.)

(Shot of Chuck and Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.)

CHUCK: We just thought...since you have a whole house to yourself, you might want to take advantage of it!

(Chuck smiles and looks around the guys.)

(Close shot of Kevin as he shrugs.)

KEVIN: What are we gonna do at my house? (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Chuck looking at Kevin off-screen.)

CHUCK: Everything! (Smiles.)

(Shot of Ricky and Randy.)

RANDY: Hang out.

(Ricky smiles and gestures.)

(Shot of Chuck and Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.)

CHUCK: Stuff our faces...

(Shot of Ricky and Randy.)

RANDY: Order pizza.

(Ricky smiles and nods.)

Stupid question.

(Close shot of Kevin glancing from on side to the other.)

(Close shot of Chuck smiling at Kevin off-screen.)

CHUCK: Maybe we could get some beer. (Nods.)

(He looks at Randy off-screen.)

(Close shot of Randy looking at Chuck off-screen.)

RANDY: Yeah!

(Randy looks at Kevin.)

RANDY: We can drink till our heads hurt! (Smiles.)

CHUCK: Come on, Kevin - it'll be great!

(Shot of Randy, Kevin and Chuck. Kevin hesitates then frowns.)

KEVIN: I don't know...

(Randy and Chuck look at each other.)

After all, certain rules had been set...

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen as a student crosses the camera.)

And nothing could be said to make me break them.

PAUL: Look, guys...

(Paul looks around the guys.)

PAUL: If Kevin's parents said not to have anyone in the house, then he shouldn't have anyone in the house. Period.

(Paul looks at Kevin off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin glancing around.)

Nothing...except that.

(Kevin looks at Paul off-screen and frowns.)

KEVIN: I didn't say that, Paul.

(Shot of Chuck and Paul. Paul looks at Kevin as Chuck smiles and looks toward Randy off-screen, then to Kevin off-screen.)

CHUCK: Great! (Gestures.) So are we havin' a party or not?!

(Chuck looks at Randy off-screen.)

(Shot of Ricky and Randy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking from Chuck to Randy off-screen.)

KEVIN: Yeah, well...

(Kevin glances around.)

KEVIN: Maybe we could do something. Play poker...

(Kevin looks quickly toward Randy off-screen.)

KEVIN: But just us guys.

(Shot of Randy and Ricky as Ricky smiles and nods at Chuck off-screen.)

RICKY: Yeah, alright!

(Shot of Chuck and Paul. Chuck smiles and nods at Randy off-screen, while Paul smiles at Kevin off-screen.)

Like I said - I could handle this.

(Wide shot of all as they resume eating.)

I was the responsible son. Not like...

Cut to

Int. 11:00 AM - Arnold Kitchen

(Shot of Wayne wearing his bathrobe, standing at the open refrigerator as he removes a carton of juice.)

My brother.

(Wayne closes the refrigerator and approaches the camera.)

The slug.

(The camera pulls back past Kevin sitting at the table, looking at the list of chores and frowning.)

KEVIN: Nice of you to get out of bed, butthead.

WAYNE: Shut up, troll. Besides, what's the hurry?

(Wayne sips from the carton.)

KEVIN: Well, for one thing, it's eleven o'clock...

WAYNE: What? (Gestures.) What do you have a plane to catch? (Frowns.)

KEVIN: No...

(Kevin looks over his shoulder and holds up the list.)

KEVIN: But Dad did leave some chores for us to do.

WAYNE: Oh. (Gestures.)

(Kevin turns forward as Wayne approaches. Kevin looks up at Wayne and shows him the list. Wayne looks at it.)

WAYNE: Wax Wayne's car. Heh-heh.

(Wayne snatches the list and looks at it.)

KEVIN: That's not on the list, Nimrod. (Frowns.)

WAYNE: Hmm.

(Wayne reaches for the pencil on the table, hands the carton to Kevin, then walks over to the counter.)

(Shot of Wayne's arm and the list as he writes on it.)

WAYNE (V/O): It is now.

(The camera pans with Wayne as he hands the list back to Kevin.)

WAYNE: There ya go. (Chuckles.)

(Shot from behind Kevin.)

KEVIN: Wayne...

(Kevin turns over his shoulder and looks at Wayne off-screen.)

KEVIN: We have to get this stuff done!

(Close shot of Wayne smiling.)

WAYNE: Sorry - I made other plans.

(Shot past Kevin as Wayne leans against the counter and sips from the carton. Kevin frowns and nods.)

KEVIN: Well, I made other plans, too, ya know!

WAYNE: Like what?

(Kevin looks over his shoulder, then forward.)

KEVIN: Well...I'm having a party here, tonight.

(Close shot of Wayne.)

WAYNE: You're having a party. What are you gonna do - rent a pony? (Frowns.)

(Close shot from behind Kevin as he looks over his shoulder and frowns.)

KEVIN: No. (Gestures.) Just some of the guys are comin' over to play poker.

(Kevin turns forward.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at the list, and Wayne leaning against the counter.)

WAYNE: That's not a party!

(Wayne frowns and gestures.)

WAYNE: That's a butthead convention!

(Kevin turns around and looks at Wayne as Wayne walks to the refrigerator.)

(Close shot from behind Kevin as he stands up.)

Hold on, here.

KEVIN: Hey! (Frowns.) What are you doing tonight that's so great?!

(Shot from Kevin's perspective as Wayne turns near the doorway.)

WAYNE: Well, it just so happens...

(Wayne reaches to both sides and rest his hands on the counters.)

WAYNE: There's a guy from North Central, who's having a beer-blast, so...don't leave the light on for me. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin frowning.)

KEVIN: Fine! I won't.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Wayne as he points with both hands and makes a face, then exits.)

Hey, what did I care?

(Close shot of Kevin looking after Wayne off-screen.)

After all, I was gonna have a pretty wild time of my own.

Cut to

Ext. Evening - Arnold House

(Shot past the lamp-post of the house. Sound of an owl.)

KEVIN (V/O): Who's bet is it?

CHUCK (V/O): I don't know...

RANDY (V/O): Is there anymore pizza?

Cut to

Int. Evening - Basement

(Wide shot from behind Randy and Paul of the guys around the table.)

Assuming your idea of a wild time was an evening of never-ending boredom.

(Shot past Ricky of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Ricky, come on, will ya? (Gestures.)

RICKY: Don't rush me...(gestures)...I'm thinking.

(Close shot from Kevin's perspective of Ricky looking down and frowning.)

RICKY: I fold.

(Ricky frowns and slaps his cards down.)

(Shot past Kevin of Randy across the table, looking at Ricky off-screen.)

RANDY: After all that, you fold?

(Close shot of Ricky looking toward Randy off-screen.)

RICKY: I wasn't sure.

(Close shot of Chuck looking down and shaking his head.)

RANDY (V/O): I don't believe this...

(Shot of Paul tossing some chips in the pot.)

PAUL: I'll raise.

(Shot past Kevin of Randy as he gathers some chips.)

RANDY: I'll see ya.

(Randy tosses the chips, and knocks a glass with his hand.)

(Shot past Randy of Kevin as he frowns.)

KEVIN: Randy!

(Kevin wipes the table with a napkin, and looks at Randy.)

KEVIN: Watch it will ya? This is my dad's good card-table!

(Wide shot from behind Paul and Randy as Kevin wipes the table.)

CHUCK: Yes, Mrs. Arnold!

(Randy moves some cards out of the puddle.)

RANDY: You'll never be able to see it once it dries...

RICKY: Man, this is the worst party I've ever been to...

PAUL: You said it.

(Kevin looks at Paul.)

(Shot past Kevin of Randy as he adjusts the glass.)

The thing was...they were right.

(Close shot of Kevin looking around the guys off-screen.)

We had hit rock-bottom.

KEVIN: Look - this was your idea in the first place!

(Close shot of Paul raising his eye-brows and looking from Randy to Kevin off-screen and back.)

KEVIN (V/O): If you guys know so much about havin' a great time...

(Close shot of Chuck looking at Randy off-screen.)

KEVIN (V/O): Well, what are ya gonna do about it?

(Close shot of Randy looking at his cards, then looking up.)

RANDY: We could invite some girls...(Smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin frowning slightly and glancing around.)

OK - possibly a mistake, here.

(Close shot of Paul looking at Randy off-screen and frowning.)

PAUL: Are you kidding?

(Paul glances around the guys off-screen.)

PAUL: It's seven-thirty on a Saturday night! (Shrugs.) How are we gonna get girls?

CHUCK (V/O): Uh-huh...

Cut to

Kitchen

(Wide shot from the table of the kitchen. Chuck is holding the phone in the foreground, Paul and Randy are standing behind him, watching, and Kevin is wiping his hands at the sink.)

CHUCK: Well, I know it's late, but...(gestures)...well, it's gonna be a lot of fun!

(Chuck glances over his shoulder, then back and smiles.)

CHUCK: Um, his parents are out of town.

(Close shot of Kevin looking over his shoulder at Chuck off-screen.)

The first rule of sophomore boys. If it's female - call it.

(Wide shot from the table of all.)

If it answers - invite it.

CHUCK: Chuck...Chuck! (Gestures.)

(Close shot of Kevin glancing over his shoulder and smiling.)

CHUCK (V/O): I'm in your bio class.

(Kevin looks back to the sink.)

(Wide shot of all. Chuck smiles as he listens.)

CHUCK: No. Not Chuck Thorson. Chuck Coleman.

(Chuck glances off and starts to twitch.)

CHUCK: But, um...(shrugs)...Chuck Thorson'll be there...(Nods.)

(Chuck listens, then makes a face and clenches his fist.)

CHUCK: Great! Uh, seeya.

(Chuck hangs up the phone.)

(Shot of Randy, Paul and Ricky looking at Chuck of-screen.)

GUYS: What'd she say?!

(Close shot of Chuck.)

CHUCK: She's coming. (Smiles.)

RANDY (V/O): Great!

RICKY (V/O): Cool!

CHUCK: And...(smiles)...she's bringing her sister!

(Close shot of Kevin looking over his shoulder suddenly and frowning at Chuck off-screen.)

Hold the phone.

KEVIN: What?!

A party was one thing.

(Kevin walks toward the camera, which rolls back.)

A full-scale orgy was something else.

(Kevin squeezes past Ricky and Paul.)

KEVIN: Chuck, wait a minute. I thought I said one girl each.

(Close shot of Chuck looking at Kevin off-screen.)

CHUCK: What was I supposed to do?

(Chuck frowns and nods.)

CHUCK: Tell her she couldn't come?

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Chuck off-screen.)

RANDY: Yeah...give him a break.

(Kevin looks over his shoulder, then back to Chuck off-screen.)

KEVIN: OK! But...

(Kevin looks over his other shoulder, then back to Chuck off-screen.)

KEVIN: From now on, just one per guy, OK? (Nods.)

(Close shot of Chuck smiling and chewing his gum happily.)

(Wide shot past Chuck of all.)

And, from such tiny concessions...

(Ricky smiles and glances around.)

RICKY: My turn.

(Ricky picks up the phone and starts dialing.)

Do full-scale catastrophies grow.

(Kevin walks back to the sink as the others look at Ricky.)

Cut to

Front Door

(Shot from behind of a girl standing on the porch, as Kevin opens the door.)

(Close shot from Kevin's perspective of Alice.)

ALICE: Hi, Kevin! (Smiles.)

(Shot past Alice of Kevin smiling, as Ricky bumps him.)

RICKY: Oh, hi, Alice!

Not that it started out so badly.

(Shot past Kevin of Alice smiling, as a few more people make their way up the walkway.)

GUY1: Hey, this is it! Are we here?

GUY2: Alright!

(Shot past Alice of Kevin and Ricky.)

KEVIN: Who are they?

(Close shot from Kevin's perspective of Alice and the others behind her.)

ALICE: This is my brother, Charlie, his friend, Eddy, Eddy's cousin Deborah and her best friend Carolyn - I needed a ride.

(Alice frowns.)

ALICE: Is that OK with you?

(Shot past Alice of Kevin frowning and Ricky smiling.)

KEVIN: Well...

RICKY: Hey, yeah. The more the merrier. (Gestures.) Come on in!

(Ricky exits toward the living room, and Alice et al file past Kevin.)

GIRL: It's really neat!

(Kevin smiles.)

KEVIN: Yeah, sure!

(Kevin looks forward and frowns.)

KEVIN: Just make yourselves at home...

(Randy approaches and pats Kevin on the shoulder.)

RANDY: What's the matter, Kev?

(Kevin turns toward Randy.)

(Loud music starts in the living room.)

KEVIN: Randy - I said a couple of people.

(Randy looks away and frowns.)

KEVIN: Now I got...(gestures)...brothers and cousins and friends...

RANDY: Come on, Kev - you gonna relax and have a good time or not?

(Shot past Randy of Kevin.)

(Shot past Kevin of Randy, and Ricky behind him Ricky smiles and nods excitedly, then exits.)

(Shot past Randy of Kevin looking toward the living room off-screen.)

KEVIN: Well...

(Kevin looks at Randy and shrugs reluctantly.)

KEVIN: OK. (Smiles.)

(Shot past Kevin of Randy, as Randy smiles, pats Kevin on the shoulder, and exits.)

After all, how much worse could things get.

GUY (V/O): Hey, man.

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the living room off-screen, then turning toward the front door.)

(Shot past Kevin of three guys on the porch.)

GUY: Is...is there a party here?

(Shot past the guy of Kevin.)

INSIDE GUY (V/O): Yeah - come on in!

(Kevin looks toward the living room, and back toward the guys on the porch.)

(The guys hurry in. Kevin frowns and looks after them, then looks toward the porch. The camera moves in.)

A lot worse.

(The music goes haywire, and there is a slamming sound. Kevin looks toward the living room, then hurriedly exits toward it, closing the door.)

Fade to

Later

("Judy In Disguise (With Glasses)" plays.)

(Close shot of the closed door as Kevin opens it.)

(Shot past Kevin of two guys on the porch.)

GUY4: Hi!

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Hi. (Smiles.)

GUY4: Nice house! (Smiles.)

By around nine o'clock...

(The guys enter past Kevin. Two more are walking up the walkway.)

(Close shot of Kevin as guys file past him.)

My modest get-together was turning into...a happening.

(Close shot from Kevin's perspective of the closed door as he opens it. A pretty girl smiles at him.)

There were people I was glad to see...

(Close shot of Keving smiling and stepping back as the girl walks past him.)

GIRL: Hi.

(Close shot from Kevin's perspective of the closed door as he opens it. Two more guys in school jackets. One spins a basketball on his fingertip.)

Those I was surprised to see...

(Close shot from Kevin's perspective of the closed door as he opens it. Two more guys, and more in the distance.)

And those I'd never seen before in my life.

(They enter past Kevin, and one makes a peace-sign.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking after them off-screen.)

Still, I kept telling myself, things were under control.

(Wide shot from the dining room of the smoky living room. One guy with a guitar approaches the camera. The camera pulls back past Chuck, who is holding out a plate of sandwiches. A second guy smoking a cigarette takes all of them.)

GUY: Nice.

(Kevin hurries past him.)

Even though they weren't.

(Paul approaches Kevin.)

PAUL: Kev - great party! (Gestures.)

KEVIN: What are you talking about?! This is a disaster!

(Kevin frowns and gestures with both arms.)

(Chuck approaches Kevin and Paul.)

CHUCK: I'll say it's a disaster. (Nods.)

(Chuck glances from Kevin to Paul and back.)

And there, finally - the voice of reason in the crowd.

(Chuck gestures at the empty plate.)

CHUCK: We're out of food!

KEVIN: What?! (Frowns.)

CHUCK: We're down to mayonnaise sandwiches.

(Randy walks up to Chuck.)

RANDY: Hey - why don't you go pick up some stuff?

(Chuck taps Randy on the shoulder.)

CHUCK: That's a great idea.

(Chuck walks off.)

(Close shot past Randy of Kevin looking after Chuck off-screen.)

KEVIN: Hey, no...wait a minute!

(Randy smiles at Paul off-screen, and exits toward him.)

KEVIN: I never said you could -

(Shot past Kevin as a girl approaches him and smiles.)

GIRL4: Really nice place, Kenny.

(Wider shot as she and others hand Kevin their coats, and walk toward the kitchen.)

KEVIN: Eh, Kevin. Thanks!

(Kevin looks after them off-screen, frowning slightly.)

I had only one fall-back.

Cut to

Basement

(Shot of the stairway in the darkened basement, as Kevin opens the door and descends the stairs, meeting a guy going up.)

GUY: Hey, Arnie...

(Kevin passes him and hurries to the bottom.)

Damage-control.

(Kevin looks across the room.)

KEVIN: Hey!

(The camera pans with him as he walks toward a guy next to the piano.)

KEVIN: You mind not putting your glasses on the piano?! (Gestures.)

(The guy looks at the glass and picks it up.)

GUY: Sure. Here ya go.

(He stands and puts the glass in Kevin's hand.)

GUY: Can you hold that for me?

(The guy walks past Kevin.)

KEVIN: Yeah - no problem!

(The guy walks past the camera. Kevin wipes the moisture of the piano.)

OK - maybe I wasn't exactly the ideal host.

(Kevin turns around, then glances off and sighs.)

At least I was keeping a lid on things.

(A guy walks past him, tossing a cigarette into the glass, then exiting.)

(Kevin holds the glass up and looks at it.)

(A couple dances across the camera.)

Cut to

Kitchen

(Shot of a guy crouched down at the open refrigerator. He turns over his shoulder.)

GUY: Hey! Look what I found!

(He looks back to the refrigerator.)

GUY: A casserole!

(Wide shot from the doorway of the living room, as Kevin approaches, frowning. The camera rolls back past the refrigerator.)

But not only were matters getting out of hand...

(The guy looks over his shoulder.)

GUY: Will you look at this!

KEVIN: Can you get your head outta there?! (Gestures.)

(The guy frowns over his shoulder and stands, closing the refrigerator.)

They were getting into the wrong hands.

GUY: Who are you?

(Shot over the guys shoulder of Kevin looking up at him.)

KEVIN: Uh, I'm, uh...K-Kevin Arnold.

(Shot past Kevin of the guy.)

KEVIN: Who are you?

(The guy frowns.)

GUY: I'm a friend of Betsy Wagner.

(Close shot of Kevin frowning.)

KEVIN: Who's she? (Frowns.)

(Phone rings, and Kevin sighs.)

(Shot of Kevin and the guy, and others, as Kevin looks towards the phone.)

And just when I thought things had reached rock-bottom...

(Phone rings again.)

They went into negative numbers.

(Kevin turns toward the doorway.)

KEVIN: Shut up, everyone!

(Kevin turns to the group in the kitchen.)

KEVIN: I think it's my parents!

(Everyone, including the music, is silent. The phone rings again.)

(Kevin approaches it, and looks toward the crowd behind him.)

(Phone rings again.)

GUY: Shhh!

(The phone rings again and Kevin picks it up.)

KEVIN: Hello? (Smiles.)

(Kevin frowns and sighs.)

KEVIN: Chuck...where are you?

(Party resumes.)

(Wide shot of Kevin on the phone, as the kitchen crowd resumes chatting.)

Cut to

Int. Night - Liquor Store

(Close shot of the counter, as Kevin slides Chuck's wallet across it.)

KEVIN (V/O): Chuck - how could you leave your wallet on my dresser?

(The camera pans up to Chuck as he picks up the wallet.)

CHUCK: Shhh. Keep your voice down. I took it out when the girls came over.

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Why?!

(Kevin frowns and gestures with both arms.)

(Shot past Kevin of Chuck frowning.)

CHUCK: Cuz it made my rear-end look lumpy. Alright?

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Look - just hurry up, OK?!

(Wider shot of Kevin looking over his shoulder, as Chuck unloads a basket. The cashier watches.)

All I wanted to do was get back to my unprotected house as soon as possible.

CHUCK: OK!

(Chuck sets a package on the counter.)

CHUCK: Got candy...

(Chuck sets a bag on the counter.)

CHUCK: Potato chips...

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin. Chuck holds up a bag.)

CHUCK: Some pretzles...

(Chuck puts it on the counter.)

(Close shot of the cashier looking at the food off-screen.)

CHUCK (V/O): Crackers...

(The cashier looks at Chuck off-screen.)

CASHIER: That'll be two-sixty-four.

(Shot from the cashier's viewpoint of Kevin and Chuck, as Chuck bends down the to the basket on the floor.)

CHUCK: And uh...we'll, uh...

(Chuck looks at the cashier off-screen as he stands up, nervously holding a six-pack of beer.)

CHUCK: We'll also take, uh, we'll take this.

(Chuck set the six-pack on the counter.)

(Close shot of the cashier frowning at Chuck off-screen.)

KEVIN (V/O): Chuck!

(The cashier looks at Kevin off-screen.)

(Shot of Kevin and Chuck.)

CHUCK: Don't worry, Kev! (Smiles.)

(Chuck points at himself.)

CHUCK: I'll pay for it!

(Chuck puts his hand out toward Kevin, then turns toward the cashier and smiles.)

(Close shot of the cashier looking at Chuck off-screen.)

CASHIER: You got an I.D. for that?

(Shot of Kevin and Chuck as Chuck hesitates.)

CHUCK: Sure! Sure...

(Chuck reaches in his pocket, pulls out his wallet and looks at it, then hands it to the cashier off-screen.)

(Close shot of the wallet as the cashier's hand takes it.)

(License: Richard Piedmont. 303 Grant Av. Culver City, IA 02266. Valid from 1/1/71-1/1/72. "Iowa" - Hah!)

(Sound of a police siren in the background.)

(Close shot of the cashier frowning at Chuck off-screen.)

CASHIER: "Richard Piedmont"?

(Shot of Kevin and Chuck, as Chuck looks at Kevin.)

CHUCK: Well, it...(squirms)...it's Chuck...for short. (Nods.)

(Close shot of the cashier looking at the license, then at Chuck off-screen.)

CASHIER: Twenty-seven?

(Shot of Kevin and Chuck. Chuck smiles at the cashier off-screen.)

CHUCK: My mother smoked. (Nods.)

(Close shot of the cashier looking at the license, then at Chuck off-screen.)

CASHIER: What year were you born?

(Close shot of Chuck looking at the cashier off-screen.)

CHUCK: April twenty-second, 1945...

(Close shot of the cashier looking at Chuck off-screen.)

CHUCK (V/O): I live at three-oh-three Grant street, I weigh a hundred-and-sixty-six pounds, I have blue eyes...

(Close shot of Chuck looking at the cashier off-screen.)

CHUCK: And I'm...near-sighted.

(Close shot of the cashier smiling at Chuck off-screen, then laughing.)

(Shot of Kevin and Chuck as the cashier laughs.)

(Close shot of the cashier laughing at Chuck off-screen.)

(Shot of Kevin and Chuck as Chuck smiles, catches the thrown wallet, and laughs.)

(Chuck smiles and looks at Kevin, then back to the cashier off-screen, and nods.)

(Close shot of the cashier smiling at Chuck off-screen, then shaking his head.)

Cut to

Ext. Night - Liquor Store

(Shot of the front door as Kevin and Chuck approach the camera.)

CHUCK: How did he know?

KEVIN: Maybe you don't look near-sighted, Chuck!

(The camera pulls back slighty as they pause outside.)

CHUCK: You know, next time...I'm gonna squint.

KEVIN: Look, Chuck...(gestures)...let's just get out of here, OK?!

(Shot past Kevin of Chuck.)

CHUCK: Jeez, Kev. (Nods.) You're a little testy, tonight. (Frowns.) You know that?!

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin looking at him.)

"Testy"? I was fed up.

KEVIN: Look. Chuck - I've had it! (Frowns.)

(Shot past Kevin of Chuck.)

KEVIN: This whole thing has gotten completely out of control!

(Chuck frowns and looks down.)

(Shot past Chuck of Kevin looking at him.)

KEVIN: As a matter of fact, the minute I get home - everyone's out of there! OK?!

(Chuck nods.)

(Shot of Kevin and Chuck as they walk up the sidewalk. The camera rolls next to them.)

And, that was that. Case closed.

(The camera pulls back and pans as they walk between two parked cars.)

(Chuck slows up and points into the back seat of the convertible. The driver is leaning back against the door.)

CHUCK: Look! Beer! A whole keg! (Smiles.)

GUY: Yeah...we're goin' to a great party.

(Close shot of the guy looking at them off-screen.)

GUY: You guys need a lift?

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: No!

(Close shot of Chuck.)

CHUCK: Where is it? (Smiles.)

GUY (V/O): Uh, it's...

(Close shot of Kevin looking off and frowning.)

GUY (V/O): About ten blocks from here.

(Kevin looks toward the guy off-screen.)

(Close shot of the guy looking off.)

GUY: Some kid named, uh...

(Sound of a police siren in the background.)

(The guy turns quickly to Kevin off-screen.)

GUY: Arnold.

("(I Want To Take You) Higher" starts and plays through the next scene.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking stunned.)

(Close shot of Chuck looking toward Kevin off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking stunned.)

Cut to

Ext. Night - Arnold Street

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the houses and yards on his street as he approaches his house. Many cars are parked at the curb, and one is parked between the curb and sidewalk. Some people are walking toward Kevin's house.)

A lot of things raced through my head, driving home that night.

(Close shot through the windshield of Kevin looking toward the house.)

Things like - arrest.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the house and yard. Two cars are parked in the driveway, and one at the curb, as a guy walks past it carrying a bag.)

(Wide shot from Kevin's curb across the street, as Kevin pulls up and parks. A guy leans back on a car in the foreground.)

Imprisonment. Death.

(Close shot of Kevin shutting off the car, then glancing toward the house and pausing.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the house and yard. There is a car parked on the grass, and people milling around. All the lights in the house are on, and the music is blasting.)

RADIO: And this one goes out to all the guys and gals partying tonight at Kevin Arnold's house.

(Close shot of Kevin looking past the camera, stunned.)

(Kevin hurriedly opens the door.)

(Shot from across the street of the house, as Kevin walks, then runs, past the camera. The camera rises.)

(Shot from the house, of one drunken couple walking away from the camera, as another guy pushes them upright. Kevin approaches and barges his way past them.)

(Shot from inside the front door, as Kevin manoeuvers past two guys - one carrying a keg - and a third guy.)

(Shot of Kevin running past some people into the living room, and pausing.)

But nothing...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of a dozen people, as one of them shakes a beer bottle and sprays it over another guys head.)

And I mean nothing...could have prepared me for what I saw.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of a dozen people, as one of them shakes a beer bottle and sprays it over another guys head.)

(Close shot of Kevin glancing to another group off-screen.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective as the camera pans slightly to a guy holding a girl over his shoulder, as she reaches toward the guy operating the keg hose. He and the guy next to him are smoking cigarettes.)

(Shot of a girl and guy making out on the couch.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking off, as the camera moves in on him.)

(Shot past a couple, of the hands of one guy operating the keg into the cup of another guy. The cup foams over badly, and runs down the side of the keg.)

(Close shot of a record, covered with cracker crumbs, spinning on the hi-fi.)

I, Kevin Arnold, had thrown...

(Close shot of Kevin looking worried.)

The mother of all parties.

(Kevin frowns slightly.)

(Fade to white.)

(Clip of a nuclear explosion. The mushroom cloud rises slowly, and the sky turns orange, then brownish-red.)

(Fade to white.)

Fade to

Int. Morning - Arnold Living Room

(Sound of a rooster.)

(Wide shot from the dining room toward the living room. A beer-keg lies on the floor, empty bottles are all over, and trash is everywhere. Kevin is kneeling behind the couch, rubbing it with a paper-towel. He tears off some more paper-towels.)

It was six A.M. when the last guest left.

(Kevin rubs again.)

After three hours of cleaning, I'd barely scratched the surface.

(Kevin reaches into a pail and pulls out a sponge, then squeezes it.)

It was like trying to straighten up after Woodstock. Still...

(Close shot of Kevin turning from the pail to the couch. Sound of Wayne's car squealing to a stop outside. Kevin looks up suddenly, worried.)

It wasn't the cigarette-burns or carpet-stains that worried me most.

WAYNE (V/O): Hey, butthead - are you home?

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the dining room and doorway. Sound of the kitchen door closing.)

(Wayne walks into the dining room and pauses in disbelief.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking down, then glancing at Wayne off-screen.)

WAYNE (V/O): Oh...my...god.

(Shot of Wayne smiling slightly glancing around, then looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: What happened?!

(Wayne takes a few steps forward, looking at the floor in disbelief.)

(Wide shot of the coffee table, couch and Kevin, as he resumes rubbing.)

KEVIN: Shut up, Wayne!

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Wayne smiling at the floor, then looking at Kevin, holding out both arms.)

WAYNE: This is unbelievable.

(Wayne laughs.)

(Wide shot from the dining room of Wayne and Kevin, as Wayne turns and looks over the floor.)

WAYNE: Man, are you in trouble!

(Wayne walks forward, bends down, and picks up a piece of pizza, holding it out, laughing.)

KEVIN: You think so?

WAYNE: There's no doubt about it!

(Wayne laughs and tosses the pizza toward the door.)

(Wide shot of Kevin as he looks off and stands up, gesturing.)

KEVIN: What am I gonna do?

(Shot of Wayne. He holds some kind of utensil which has pizza and stuff on the end of it. He pulls a cigarette out of the food and gestures suavely with it.)

WAYNE: Well, uh, if it were up to me...

(Wayne snaps the utensil downward, flinging the food to the floor.)

WAYNE: I'd probably kill myself. (Frowns.)

(Wide shot from the dining room as Wayne tosses the utensil away, and Kevin approaches him.)

KEVIN: Wayne - you gotta help me.

(Wayne picks up an empty beer bottle from the coffee table, and pats Kevin on the shoulder.)

WAYNE: Hey - relax!

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne looking at him and gesturing.)

WAYNE: The folks don't get home till four...

(Wayne leans forward slightly.)

WAYNE: And that gives you about three hours...

(Wayne starts giggling.)

WAYNE: To get the place in shape...

(Shot past Wayne of Kevin. Wayne walks toward the front door. Kevin turns after him.)

What a comfort.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen, and walking past the camera.)

(Shot from behind Kevin as he approaches Wayne, and Wayne slows and turns.)

KEVIN: Wayne, where are you going? Aren't you gonna give me a hand? (Gestures.)

WAYNE: Oh, I'm sorry.

(Wayne holds both of Kevin's shoulders.)

WAYNE: I'm all booked up this afternoon.

(Wayne pokes Kevin in the chest and smiles, then exits.)

Clearly...

(Kevin quickly glances at the living room.)

It was time for a last-minute desperate plea.

(He turns toward the door, then hurries out.)

(Shot of Wayne on the walkway, smiling with his hands on his hips, as Kevin catches up next to him.)

KEVIN: Wayne! Wayne, come on - you gotta help me!

(Wayne yawns and takes a few steps forward, looking off.)

WAYNE: You know...I actually think this is gonna be good for you.

(Wayne looks at Kevin, nods and smiles, then looks toward the street.)

And I guess that's when I realized...

(They pause at the edge of the driveway.)

Wayne Arnold - my brother...

(Wayne raises both arms and stretches his back.)

My own flesh-and-blood - had the heart...of a toadstool.

(Wayne looks toward the street, as Kevin frowns at him.)

KEVIN: Fine!

(Wayne looks at Kevin.)

KEVIN: If you don't want to help me, then I'll do it myself! (Gestures.)

(Wayne smiles, and looks down, shaking his head.)

Hey, I didn't need him. I didn't need anyone.

(Sound of a car horn. Kevin and Wayne look toward the street.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Jack's car in the street.)

Except maybe a priest.

(Jack slows and turns into the driveway.)

Or a registered nurse.

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking toward the car off-screen.)

WAYNE: Boy...

(Wayne looks at Kevin, then back toward the car and dramatically nods.)

WAYNE: This really isn't your day.

(Wayne raises his arm over his head and waves.)

WAYNE: Hi!

(Wayne walks past the camera.)

KEVIN: Thanks.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Norma and Jack near the trunk, as Jack opens it.)

WAYNE (V/O): Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

(Shot of Wayne approaching the camera. Kevin follows.)

WAYNE: You guys are home a bit early.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Norma and Jack near the trunk.)

NORMA: Well, you know your father...

(Norma smiles and turns to Jack, and pats him on the back of the head.)

WAYNE (V/O): Yeah, good old Dad.

(Wayne passes the camera, and pauses with his thumbs hooked into his pockets.)

JACK: Everything OK?

WAYNE: Yeah. Everything's fine.

(Kevin passes the camera. Wayne turns over his shoulder to him.)

WAYNE: How about you, Kev? (Smiles.)

But somehow...

(Close shot of Kevin smiling.)

There were just no words to express it.

(Kevin shrugs and smiles.)

(Shot past Kevin as Norma approaches, kissing Wayne and Kevin on the cheek, then passing the camera.)

(Jack walks toward the camera.)

JACK: Well, I'm goin' in. You boys bring in the luggage.

(Wayne moves to the trunk as Jack passes Kevin, who turns with him.)

(Jack passes the camera.)

JACK (V/O): It's good to be home.

And so, it came down to this.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Norma on the walkway, and Jack on the grass.)

A tragic end to the age of innocence.

(Jack steps across the planter, as they walk to the door.)

A farewell to the era...

(Shot of Kevin looking toward the house off-screen, as Wayne approaches with the large valise and a smaller bag.)

Of parental trust.

(Wayne pauses, and waits for Kevin to look at him.)

(Kevin turns to Wayne, who gestures.)

WAYNE: Maybe they won't notice.

(Wayne laughs as he holds out the bags, giving Kevin the larger one.)

(Kevin sags under the weight of the bag, as Wayne passes the camera. Kevin looks after him. He pauses and frowns, then lugs the bag past the camera.)

(Shot from the front door of Kevin walking up the walkway.)

The thing is...I was prepared for the yelling, screaming, the gnashing of teeth.

(Kevin pauses in the doorway and looks past the camera.)

(Shot of Wayne holding the smaller bag, looking toward the living room, as Kevin enters and pauses behind him.)

(Shot of Norma holding a bag, and bending down and picking up a couch cushion. She shakes the cushion, looking at the floor.)

But what I wasn't prepared for was...

(Shot of Jack. The camera pans with him as he takes a few steps, looking over his shoulder around the room.)

The complete and utter silence.

(Wide shot from the dining room of all.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective as Jack leans down to the coffee table, holds up a piece of pizza with a cigarette stuck in it, and looks at it.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective as Norma turns toward the boys, frowning.)

NORMA: What happened?!

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking at Norma off-screen.)

Well, maybe this was justice.

(Wayne turns to Kevin and smiles slightly.)

A pay-back for all the times I'd laughed at Wayne...

(Kevin turns to Wayne.)

When he got in trouble.

(Shot of Jack looking at the pizza.)

JACK: I don't believe this. (Frowns.)

In any case...

(Jack looks toward Norma off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking off and frowning.)

There was no way out.

(Kevin looks at Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: Look...Dad.

(Kevin quickly looks at Wayne, then back to Jack off-screen.)

KEVIN: I know you're angry...And...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Jack looking at him, frowning.)

KEVIN (V/O): You have every right to be, because...

JACK: Kevin!

(Jack takes his hand out of his pocket and points at Kevin.)

JACK: You stay out of this! (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking a little surprised.)

KEVIN: What?

(Close shot of Jack, as he looks down, then looks at Wayne off-screen.)

JACK: Wayne...(Frowns.)

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne. Wayne quickly turns to Jack off-screen.)

(Close shot of Jack frowning at Wayne off-screen.)

JACK: How could you do somethin' like this?!

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Jack off-screen, surprised. He turns to Wayne off-screen.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Jack off-screen. He frowns and looks off, then at Kevin, then back to Jack, and shakes his head.)

WAYNE: What?! (Frowns.)

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne.)

KEVIN: No...(frowns)...Dad...

(Kevin takes a step forward.)

(Close shot of Jack frowning at Wayne off-screen.)

JACK: Wayne! I want an answer - I want an answer now!

(Close shot of Wayne glancing off, frowning, then blinking and shaking his head.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

(Close shot of Wayne frowning and looking at Kevin off-screen.)

Course, he should have told.

(Wayne looks down and frowns, shaking his head.)

It was the moment he had been waiting for...

(Wayne looks at Kevin off-screen and sighs.)

His whole life.

(Close shot of Kevin frowning and glancing off.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen, then turning to Jack off-screen.)

WAYNE: I'm sorry.

(Wayne nods slightly, then shakes his head.)

WAYNE: It'll never happen again.

(Close shot of Kevin pausing, then looking at Wayne off-screen.)

(Close shot of Jack frowning at Wayne off-screen.)

But he didn't.

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Jack off-screen.)

(Snuffy's guitar plays intermittently through the credits.)

I'm not sure why he didn't. Maybe he saw it was futile to try to explain.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

Maybe he knew...

(Kevin glances toward Jack, then back to Wayne off-screen.)

How much harder my parents would be on me...

(Close shot of Wayne glancing down, then at Norma off-screen.)

Than on him.

(He looks back to Jack off-screen.)

Or maybe he forgot, and though he really did it.

(Wayne looks down.)

(Slightly wider shot of Jack frowning at Wayne off-screen.)

JACK: We'll talk about this later, Wayne. Right now...

(Jack points at the floor.)

JACK: Start cleaning this mess up.

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking at Jack off-screen. Wayne nods slightly and looks down. Kevin looks at him.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Norma and Jack. Norma glances over the floor. Jack walks toward the kitchen. Norma turns slowly.)

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne looking at them off-screen.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Norma pausing at the crooked picture at the kitchen doorway. She straightens it, but it hangs crooked again, as she walks into the kitchen.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking from Norma to Wayne off-screen.)

Or just maybe...

(Kevin glances toward the kitchen, then back to Wayne off-screen.)

For that one afternoon...

KEVIN: Wayne...

(Shot past Kevin of Wayne looking at him.)

My brother saw in me, a little bit of himself.

(Wayne smiles and nods slightly.)

WAYNE: You know...you really are a butthead.

(Shot past Wayne of Kevin, as Wayne exits to the living room. Kevin looks after him off-screen.)

(Wide shot from the dining room as Wayne picks up a paper sack from the couch, and more trash. Kevin picks up some trash from the table near the door.)

Fade to

Ext. Day - Driveway

(Shot past Wayne's car in the driveway, as Wayne approaches from the walkway, carrying a large trash bag.)

Growing up brothers is kind of a mixed bag.

(The camera pulls back slightly as Wayne approaches.)

Strangers. Warriors.

(The camera pans over to include Kevin wiping Wayne's car with a rag.)

Enemies. Idiots.

(Wayne pauses.)

Friends.

(Wayne nods at Kevin slightly, then looks at the car.)

One day you fight to the death.

(Wayne looks at Kevin.)

The next...

(Wayne walks past Kevin, pats him on the shoulder, and walks past the camera. Kevin looks over his shoulder and smiles.)

You'd lay down your lives for each other.

(Kevin resumes wiping the car as Wayne returns.)

I never did say "thanks" to Wayne...

(Wayne looks at Kevin, then skips off, then runs toward the house. The camera pulls up and back slowly.)

For what he did. But I washed his Corvair. And waxed it, too. I figured, hey - any guy who did that...

(Wayne walks out carrying another trash bag.)

Deserved a shiny car.

Fade to

CLOSING CREDITS

Supporting Cast
Ricky - Scott Nemes
Chuck - Andrew Mark Berman
Alice - Lindsay Sloane
Randy - Michael Tricario

Music
"Colonel Bogey March" - Kenneth Alford
"Judy In Disguise (With Glasses)" - John Fred & Playboy Band
"I Want To Take You Higher" - Sly & The Family Stone



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03/21/05 13:25