Episode 60 - "Courage"
OPENING SEQUENCE
(Wide shot of Kevin riding his bicycle up the sidewalk in town. "Syncopated Clock" plays.)
Over the course of the average lifetime you meet a lot of people. Some of them stick with you through thick and thin. Some weave their way through your life, and disappear forever.
(Kevin slows and stops outside a dentist's office.)
But once in a while, someone comes along who earns a permanent place in your heart.
(Kevin parks his bike and enters the front door.)
Cut to
Int. Day - Dentist Office
(Close shot of Kevin looking at a magazine.)
Someone like, say...
(Shot of an office door as Miss Hasenfuss opens it.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Hi, Kevin! (Smiles.)
(Shot of Kevin and another boy in the waiting room, as Kevin looks up.)
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss looking toward Kevin off-screen and smiling.)
Miss Hasenfuss, my dental hygienist.
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Miss Hasenfuss off-screen, and smiling.)
KEVIN: Hi, Miss Hasenfuss!
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: I'm ready for you now. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Kevin as he rises.)
(Shot from behind Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss, as Kevin approaches her.)
(Miss Hasenfuss pats Kevin's shoulder as he passes her into the office. She starts to close the door.)
(Fade to shot of Kevin in the dentist chair, and Miss Hasenfuss putting a paper bib around him.)
Actually, she was more than just my dental hygienist.
(The camera circles around the chair toward Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: So, have you been brushing?
KEVIN: You bet. Every day.
MISS HASENFUSS: Take a look.
(Miss Hasenfuss sits on a stool next to Kevin.)
(Shot of Kevin, and Miss Hasenfuss beyond him, as the chair tilts back.)
Our relationship went beyond lower incisors and upper bicuspids and dental floss.
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Miss Hasenfuss, smiling.)
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss smiling, and leaning forward.)
She was someone I could really talk to.
(Close shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin with his mouth open. Miss Hasenfuss has a mirror in his mouth.)
KEVIN (Garbled): So, how's it been going?
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Oh, busy.
(Close shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin with his mouth open. Miss Hasenfuss has the mirror in his mouth.)
MISS HASENFUSS: You?
KEVIN (Garbled): Well...you know.
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Open...
She smelled like Ivory soap and herbal shampoo...
(Close shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin looking toward her, with his mouth open.)
And knew all the right things to say to make a man feel like...a man.
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Spit!
(Shot of both as Miss Hasenfuss puts the mirror on a tray. The camera pans slightly toward Kevin as he sips some water from a paper cup.)
And even though we met only twice a year...
(Kevin works the water around in his mouth as he looks toward Miss Hasenfuss off-screen.)
It was pretty clear we had something...
(Shot of Kevin at the spit-bowl, and Miss Hasenfuss at a cabinet in the background.)
Special.
(Kevin spits into the bowl.)
(Shot through a doorway of a poster on the wall. It is a yellow background with a big smile on it. It says "How to win friends and influence people".)
(Miss Hasenfuss steps into the open doorway and smiles.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Last one. Say "Cheeeeese!"
(Close shot of Kevin sitting in the chair, with the X-ray machine next to his jaw.)
KEVIN (Garbled): Cheeeeese.
(Shot through the doorway, as Miss Hasenfuss enters, holding a strip of X-rays.)
MISS HASENFUSS: We'll let the doctor take a look at these.
(Shot of Kevin and Miss Hasenfuss, as she moves the X-ray machine away.)
MISS HASENFUSS: But, I'm sure that they'll be perfect. As usual.
(Miss Hasenfuss removes the cardboard from Kevin's mouth, as he smiles.)
But it wasn't until the X-rays were over and the big lead bib came off...
(Miss Hasenfuss removes the lead bib.)
That our relationship really came alive.
(Miss Hasenfuss smiles at Kevin as she fold the bib.)
MISS HASENFUSS: So how's school going?
(Kevin stands up.)
KEVIN: Great! I graduate ninth-grade this year.
(Miss Hasenfuss moves toward a cabinet.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Really! Quite an accomplishment.
(Close shot of Kevin smiling toward Miss Hasenfuss off-screen.)
KEVIN: Well, you know...
We shared things - man to woman...
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss at the cabinet.)
Woman to man.
(Miss Hasenfuss smiles shyly as she turns around.)
MISS HASENFUSS: You know, I've never really told anybody this before.
(She fold her arms.)
MISS HASENFUSS: But...
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her blankly.)
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Promise you won't laugh?
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Oh, no...I-I mean yes...(shrugs)...I promise. (Smiles.)
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: I always thought I'd like to go back to school some day.
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Really?
(Kevin puts his arm out and leans against the wall as he smiles.)
MISS HASENFUSS: I think so.
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss as she frowns.)
MISS HASENFUSS: There is only so far you can go in life cleaning teeth. You know what I mean?
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin gesturing with both hands and nodding.)
KEVIN: Oh, oh - of course.
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss smiling.)
MISS HASENFUSS: But I never had the courage.
(She turns toward the counter behind her, then looks over her shoulder.)
MISS HASENFUSS: All those tests.
(She turns toward the counter again, then looks off.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Tests scare me.
(She looks toward Kevin for a moment.)
God, was she cute!
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Oh, tests aren't so bad. I mean, I've taken a bunch of tests. I bet you'll do fine.
(Close shot of Mis Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Hmmm...
(She looks toward Kevin and frowns.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Really think so?
(Close shot of Kevin smiling.)
KEVIN: Oh, absolutely. No question about it.
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss as she turns toward Kevin.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Thanks for the vote of confidence. But I think...I'm just not a very courageous person. (Nods.) Not like you.
(Close shot of Kevin as he glances off, then looks down and smiles.)
(Shot from behind Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss smiling at him.)
And there you had it.
(Close shot of Kevin smiling.)
Total mutual admiration.
("Syncopated Clock" plays in the background.)
(Closer shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss smiling.)
I admired her for her, uh...
(Miss Hasenfuss smiles and holds up a toothbrush.)
MISS HASENFUSS: I saved you the blue one.
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin. He is a little surprised as he glances toward the toothbrush.)
Tooth brushes...
(Kevin smiles.)
KEVIN: Thanks!
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss smiling.)
And she admired me for my courage.
(Close shot of Kevin sighing and smiling slightly.)
(Music ends.)
Cut to
Int. Day - Arnold Basement
(Close shot of Doug holding a whoopee-cushion.)
DOUG: What's the matter - you chicken?
(Wide shot of the basement. Kevin sits on one end of the couch, Paul is sitting in the middle, and Doug is sitting on the arm at the other end. Tommy stands behind the couch.)
Courage in ninth-grade being a relative thing.
PAUL: No, I'm not chicken. I'm just not crazy. (Gestures.)
TOMMY: He's chicken.
(Tommy and Doug make chicken-clucking sounds.)
(Close shot of Kevin frowning.)
KEVIN: Come on, guys, knock it off! Will ya?
(Close shot of Tommy turning toward Kevin off-screen, then glancing around.)
TOMMY: Look, all he has to do is slip this thing onto Mr. Gardenia's chair in study hall.
(Close shot of Doug blowing some air into the whoopee-cushion.)
TOMMY: It'll be a riot! (Smiles.)
(Shot past Doug of Paul and Kevin as Paul frowns.)
PAUL: Maybe he'll think it's not so funny. (Nods.)
(Shot of Doug, Tommy, and Paul. Doug and Tommy lean closer and make chicken-clucking sounds.)
(Wide shot of all.)
KEVIN: Guys, give it up! If he doesn't want to do it, he doesn't want to do it. (Gestures.)
PAUL: Yeah.
DOUG: OK, then - you do it!
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Why don't you do it? It's your idea.
(Shot of Paul and Tommy looking at Doug. Doug and Tommy look at Kevin and make chicken-clucking sounds.)
(Close shot of Kevin.)
At fourteen, true heroism has less to do with actual logic...
(Close shot of Doug frowning and flapping his arms.)
(Close shot of Tommy flapping his arms and making chicken-clucking sounds.)
And more to do with pure stupidity.
(Close shot of Kevin frowning and glancing off.)
KEVIN: OK - I'll do it! But you guys have to do it next time.
(Shot of Doug and Tommy as they look at each other and smile.)
DOUG: Yeah!
TOMMY: Alright!
(Close shot of Paul frowning as Doug holds out the whoopee-cushion toward Kevin. Paul takes it.)
PAUL: You guys are completely idiotic.
(Paul sets the cushion down as as Tommy hops over the back of the couch and sits down.)
Maybe so. But I wasn't the kind of guy to shrink from a challenge. I was a man of action.
(Shot of Wayne descending the stairs, holding a bag of potato chips. He frowns.)
WAYNE: Hey, butthead!
(Close shot of Kevin as he looks over his shoulder.)
A man with a brother.
(Shot past the guys as Wayne approaches.)
WAYNE: Hasenfuss called.
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Wayne off-screen.)
A man who got phone calls from his dental hygienist.
KEVIN: She did? What'd she say? (Smiles.)
(Shot of Wayne as he circles around the couch, frowning.)
WAYNE: What do I look like - your secretary? (Gestures.) She said she wanted to see you this afternoon.
(Close shot of Kevin turning as he watches Wayne.)
Now, since I wasn't due for a check-up for another six months, this could mean only one thing...
(Shot of Tommy, Paul and Doug as Wayne sits down between Tommy and Paul - Pfffffft! Everyone giggles. Wayne smirks, then looks at Tommy and elbows Paul.)
Cut to
Int. Day - Dentist Office
(Shot of the dentist office door, from inside.)
It had to be personal.
(Kevin flings the door open and pauses.)
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss at the receptionist window, as she looks up surprised, then smiles.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Boy, you got here fast!
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin as he approaches.)
KEVIN: Oh! (Gestures.) I was just in the neighborhood. (Smiles.)
(He approaches, panting.)
KEVIN: Did you...
(He puts his hands on the reception-counter and smiles.)
KEVIN: Want me?
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss as she glances down.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Kevin, I have something to tell you...
(She looks at Kevin.)
MISS HASENFUSS: And I'm not quite sure how you're gonna take it. (Frowns.)
(She looks down and sighs, and puts the pencil eraser on her lip.)
Maybe not. But standing there, the possibilities seemed endless.
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin as he smiles excitedly.)
KEVIN: What is it?
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss looking toward Kevin off-screen, and pausing somberly.)
MISS HASENFUSS: You have a cavity.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Miss Hasenfuss blankly.)
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss as she leans forward slightly and nods toward Kevin off-screen.)
MISS HASENFUSS: You're gonna have to see Doctor Tucker.
Cut to
Dentist Chair
(Close shot of the examination lamp as a hand switches it on.)
(Close shot of Kevin squinting as the light shines in his eyes.)
(Shot of the examination lamp as Dr. Tucker cuts into the shot.)
DR. TUCKER: OK, let's have a look-see. Open!
(Close shot of Kevin as he opens his mouth.)
(Close shot of Dr. Tucker.)
DR. TUCKER: Pick!
(He turns toward Miss Hasenfuss off-screen.)
(Shot past Dr. Tucker's hand of Miss Hasenfuss as she hands him the pick.)
(Close shot of Kevin watching as Dr. Tucker takes the pick.)
DR. TUCKER (V/O): Thank you...
(Close shot of Dr. Tucker.)
DR. TUCKER: Wider!
(Close shot of Kevin as he opens his mouth. Dr. Tucker's finger moves Kevin's lip as he inserts the pick.)
DR. TUCKER: Ah! Hasenfuss - look at this!
(Dr. Tucker glances at Miss Hasenfuss, and she moves next to Dr. Tucker.)
(Close shot of Kevin with his mouth open.)
DR. TUCKER (V/O): Just as I thought. Cavity...
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss and Dr. Tucker.)
DR. TUCKER: Lower second bicuspid. Big sucker.
(Close shot of Kevin with his mouth open, as Dr. Tucker pokes around with the pick.)
Now a word of explanation here. I'd never had a cavity before.
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss and Dr. Tucker.)
Still under Miss Hasenfuss' watchful eye, I figured...
(Dr. Tucker holds up the pick.)
(Close shot of Kevin with his mouth open, as Dr. Tucker pokes with the pick.)
How bad could it be?
(Kevin grimaces and cries out.)
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss and Dr. Tucker.)
(Close shot of Kevin. The camera pulls far back.)
KEVIN: Ahhhhh!!!!
(Fantasy - Shot of Kevin yelling, as he rises toward the ceiling with his arms outstretched. He stops, stuck to the ceiling.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Dr. Tucker and Miss Hasenfuss, as they turn and look at him.)
DOCTOR TUCKER: Hmmm. Is that sensitive?
(Wide shot of Kevin stuck on the ceiling.)
KEVIN: Yeah...
(Reality - Close shot of Dr. Tucker and Miss Hasenfuss.)
DR. TUCKER: Good.
(They separate to reveal the examination lamp above them.)
(Close shot of Kevin glancing around, worried.)
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss, in shadows.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Kevin, are you alright?
(Close shot of Kevin glancing around, worried, and trying to smile.)
Of course I wasn't. But then, I had an image to maintain here.
KEVIN: Fine! It was...fine.
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss, in shadows.)
KEVIN (V/O): It was just a-a...
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Charley-horse. In my leg.
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss, in shadows.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Well, you sure were brave.
(She moves out of the shot.)
(Shot of Kevin in the chair as Miss Hasenfuss walks out of the shot.)
MISS HASENFUSS (V/O): A lot braver than me.
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss, as she opens the venetian blinds and looks at Kevin.)
MISS HASENFUSS: That cavity looked pretty serious.
(She shrugs and smiles as she approaches.)
MISS HASENFUSS: I probably would have jumped out of my skin.
(Shot of Kevin in the chair.)
KEVIN: Nah, it was nothin'. (Smiles.)
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss smiling at Kevin off-screen.)
After all, that smile was reward enough for a few moments of agony.
(Close shot of Kevin smiling.)
Especially now that it was all over.
(Shot of Dr. Tucker turning toward Kevin off-screen.)
DR. TUCKER: Make an appointment on your way out.
(Close shot of Kevin turning toward Dr. Tucker off-screen.)
KEVIN: An appointment?
(Shot of Dr. Tucker looking toward Kevin off-screen.)
DR. TUCKER: Well...(chuckles)...that suckers not getting any smaller. Were gonna have to drill it and fill it. (Chuckles.) Book him, Hasenfuss.
(Dr. Tucker looks off and walks away.)
DR. TUCKER: Next!
(Close shot of Kevin looking after Dr. Tucker off-screen.)
Was this guy joking?
(Kevin turns toward Miss Hasenfuss off-screen.)
No way I was coming back.
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: How's Wednesday sound?
(Close shot of Kevin pausing, and smiling reluctantly.)
KEVIN: Fine.
NORMA (V/O): A cavity?
Cut to
Int. Day - Arnold Kitchen
(Shot of Norma frowning as she folds laundry at the counter.)
NORMA: Honey, that's too bad!
(Shot from behind Norma of Kevin at the table.)
She didn't know the half of it.
NORMA: Well, I suppose that's why we have dentists, don't we?
(Close shot of Norma as she gathers the laundry and detergent.)
NORMA: I'm sure Dr. Tucker will take good care of you.
(Close shot of Kevin. He looks up from his studies.)
KEVIN: Thanks, Mom.
(He looks back to his book.)
(Shot of Norma as she exits with the laundry. The camera pans slightly to Wayne at the refrigerator.)
But it wasn't Dr. Tucker I was worried about.
(Close shot of Kevin looking off.)
It was looking like a craven coward in front of Miss Hasenfuss.
(Kevin looks toward Wayne off-screen.)
It was time to seek help.
(Shot of Wayne opening the refrigerator.)
From the Grand Poo-Bah of tooth decay himself.
(Wayne pulls out a bottle of soda and closes the refrigerator.)
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Wayne, you go to Doctor Tucker a lot, don't you?
(Shot of Wayne at the refrigerator. He turns toward Kevin off-screen.)
WAYNE: None of your business.
KEVIN: Well, when you do, and he, well, you know, when he...fills a cavity? (Frowns.) Does it hurt much?
(Close shot of Wayne smiling.)
WAYNE: Nah...
(Wayne approaches.)
WAYNE: He gives you Novocain.
(Shot from behind Wayne of Kevin, as Wayne leans on the counter.)
Of course - Novocain.
KEVIN: And that works?
(Shot of Wayne leaning against the counter.)
WAYNE: Sure...you don't feel a thing. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Kevin smiling as he looks at his book.)
(Shot of Wayne gesturing with his soda.)
WAYNE: Once you get passed that needle.(Grimaces.) Ooh.
(Shot of Kevin looking up toward Wayne off-screen.)
KEVIN: What needle?
(Shot of Wayne sipping his drink, then pointing at Kevin off-screen.)
WAYNE: The big one. 'Bout the size of a telephone pole.
(Shot of Kevin looking uncomfortable as he runs his tongue along his teeth.)
(Shot of Wayne.)
WAYNE: See, he jams the thing right...(points)...into your gums.
(Shot of Kevin looking more uncomfortable, and he runs his tongue along his teeth again.)
WAYNE (V/O): Then all you hear is sounds...
(Close shot of Wayne.)
WAYNE: Crunch - crack - zhhh-zhhh-zhhh!
(Close shot of Kevin looking worried and starting to hyperventilate. Some dramatic music plays.)
WAYNE (V/O): Then you feel tooth fragments flyin' everywhere. Oh, and then there's that unbelievable smell. Gotta be sure you don't gag or somethin'. (Chuckles). But other than that...
(Close shot of Wayne.)
WAYNE: It's a piece of cake.
(Wayne sips his soda.)
(Close shot of Kevin.)
That guy...
(Kevin relaxes.)
What a kidder!
(Kevin smiles.)
Cut to
Dentist Office
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss, in shadows.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Are we ready?
(Shot of Kevin in the chair.)
KEVIN: I think so.
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss, in shadows, as she walks out of the shot.)
(Shot of Kevin watching her, off-screen. He turns and looks at the tray next to him.)
(Music "Purple Haze" - Jimi Hendrix plays, as the camera pans across a tray of "regular" dental instruments. The camera pans across a second tray of tools about the size of garden hand-tools.)
(Shot of Kevin looking toward the tray.)
(The camera pans across yet more tools - of the powered variety.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking forward, as his eyes get larger.)
(Shot of Dr. Tucker holding a chain-saw, and wearing a mirrored lamp on his forehead.)
DR. TUCKER: Open wide!
(Dr. Tucker smiles broadly.)
(Close shot of Kevin grimacing in the glare of the light.)
(Shot of Dr. Tucker holding up the chain-saw.)
DR. TUCKER: This may...sting a little.
(Dr. Tucker laughs diabolically as he starts the saw.)
(Shot of Kevin as he squirms in the chair.)
KEVIN: Help! Help me!
(Shot of Dr. Tucker as he lowers the saw.)
(Shot of Kevin watching, as the saw lowers in front of the camera, near Kevin's feet. Smoke starts to rise.)
(Shot of Dr. Tucker.)
DR. TUCKER: Oh! Is that sensitive?
(Dr. Tucker laughs diabolically.)
(Close shot of Kevin grimacing and twisting his body.)
KEVIN: Hasenfuss!
(Kevin looks off and stops straining.)
(Shot of black high-heeled shoes. The camera pans up the sequined dress to Miss Hasenfuss' face. She holds a pick like a cigarette in one hand, supporting her arm with her other hand.)
MISS HASENFUSS: And I thought you were a man of courage.
(She shakes her head very slightly.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss as she sighs and looks away.)
Cut to
Int. Night - Kevin's Bedroom
(Music stops as Kevin sits upright in bed, sweating. He looks around.)
Cut to
Int. Day - Dentist Office
(Close shot of Kevin's shoes as he nervously taps his foot. The camera pans up.)
Fortunately, by the next day, I'd pretty much managed to calm my fears.
(Kevin is looking off, worried, as he automatically turns pages of a magazine.)
(Shot of the open office doorway as Miss Hasenfuss approaches, smiling.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Hi Kevin! You ready?
(Shot of Kevin looking up at her off-screen, and pausing.)
KEVIN: Uh...I think so.
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss as she smiles.)
Sure, nothing to worry about here.
(Wider shot of Kevin sitting on the couch, hesitating.)
Just a simple little filling.
(Kevin rises and takes a few steps forward.)
KEVIN: Miss Hasenfuss?
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Something wrong?
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin.)
KEVIN: No. It's just...
(Kevin hesitates.)
Who was I kidding! I had to tell her.
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss waiting patiently.)
Tell her I was scared.
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin.)
Maybe she'd respect me for my honesty.
KEVIN: It's just...
(Kevin looks off and sighs, then looks at Miss Hasenfuss quickly.)
KEVIN: There was this fire.
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss as she frowns.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Fire?
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Yeah. Yeah, at my house - so I gotta go.
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Oh...I hope nobody was hurt?
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin as he starts to back up.)
KEVIN: No. No, nobody was hurt. (Gestures.) I just have to go now.
(Kevin stumbles backward onto the couch. He stands, and moves toward the door.)
KEVIN: Right now.
(Kevin starts to open the door.)
There!
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss looking slightly puzzled. Sound of a whooping fire alarm.)
Grace under pressure!
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin closing the door behind him. Sound of a siren.)
Fade to
Int. Night - Armold Living Room
(Close shot of the TV screen. Prison inmates move toward the bars.)
-PRISONER1: Do ya suppose that was Squasnick?
-PRISONER2: I don't know.
(Shot of Jack and Kevin on the couch, watching the TV off-screen.)
-PRISONER2 (V/O): I don't know what to think.
(Jack sips his drink.)
The night of that great dentist office bailout. I faced a sobering truth.
(Shot of the TV screen.)
-GUARD: Scared, kid?
-PRISONER1: I wonder if we can take it. All the way, I mean.
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the TV off-screen.)
I had fled in the face of battle. In front of Miss Hasenfuss! I was...a coward.
(Shot of the TV screen.)
-PRISONER1: It's the fear of being afraid that frightens me more than anything else.
-GUARD: Just remember what the old man told you.
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Jack off-screen.)
(Close shot of Jack.)
I was unworthy of my proud lineage.
(Close shot past Jack of Kevin looking at him.)
KEVIN: Dad?
(Close shot past Kevin of Jack.)
JACK: Hmmm?
(Close shot past Jack of Kevin. Kevin looks from Jack toward the TV and back.)
KEVIN: You were in combat, right?
(Close shot past Kevin of Jack. Jack turns and pauses.)
JACK: Sure...(Nods.) I was in combat.
(Jack looks toward the TV off-screen.)
(Close shot past Jack of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Were you scared?
(Shot past Kevin of Jack looking toward the TV off-screen.)
JACK: Well...I don't know if I'd call it scared. We had a job to do, and we did it.
(Close shot past Jack of Kevin. Kevin turns toward the TV off-screen.)
(Close shot of the TV screen.)
-GUARD: It has nothing to do with cowardice. A fellow is only yellow when he lets his fear make him quit.
(Shot past Kevin of Jack looking toward the TV off-screen.)
JACK: No, when you're out there in the trenches and the smoke is stingin' your nose, and the bullets are zippin' past your head like flies...
(Jack pauses and looks toward Kevin.)
JACK: You don't have time to be scared.
(Close shot past Jack of Kevin.)
And that's when it hit me.
(Shot past Kevin of Jack looking toward the TV and sipping his drink.)
If my father was that brave...
(Close shot past Jack of Kevin.)
Then maybe I had it in me, too.
(Shot of both on the couch, looking toward the TV.)
Somewhere, down deep.
JACK: There's only one thing that ever scared the pants off me.
(Kevin looks at Jack.)
KEVIN: What's that?
JACK: The dentist.
(Whistling of a falling bomb, then explosion.)
(Jack sips his drink, as Kevin looks toward the TV.)
Cut to
Int. Day - Market
(Shot of Kevin and Norma, as Norma pushes a shopping cart up an aisle.)
I was left with one option. Hide among women who shop.
(Kevin turns away slightly as he raises his hand toward his jaw, runs his tongue over his tooth and frowns.)
NORMA: Honey, is something wrong?
(Kevin pauses and turns quickly.)
KEVIN: No. No.
(He smiles and gestures.)
(Norma frowns.)
NORMA: Oh, it's your tooth, isn't it?
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: No - it's nothing. Really.
(Close shot of Norma frowning.)
NORMA: Now...how long did you say it's going to Dr. Tucker to recover from that ski accident?
(Close shot of Kevin pausing and looking off.)
Oh, what tangled webs we weave...
KEVIN: Mom, I gotta go get some...
Butter.
KEVIN: Butter.
(Kevin walks past the camera.)
(Shot of Kevin walking up an aisle from the dairy section.)
(Kevin runs his finger along the front of a shelf absent-mindedly.)
Face it. I was a man on the run. Running from fear, humiliation. Running from...
(Kevin looks off as he walks forward.)
MISS HASENFUSS (V/O): Kevin!
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss pushing a shopping cart, and smiling.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Hi!
Hasenfuss.
(Miss Hasenfuss approaches Kevin.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking a little surprised.)
KEVIN: Uh...
(Norma approaches up the aisle behind Kevin.)
NORMA: Jennifer? Hi! (Smiles.)
(Kevin turns over his shoulder toward Norma, then quickly forward toward Miss Hasenfuss off-screen.)
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss as she approaches.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Mrs. Arnold! Hello!
(Shot of Kevin looking over his shoulder at Norma as she approaches.)
Oh my gosh - here they came.
(Kevin looks forward again.)
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss approaching.)
The woman I'd lied to...
(Shot of Kevin looking toward Norma off-screen.)
And the woman I'd lied to...
(Shot of Norma smiling broadly as she approaches.)
(Shot from Norma's cart of Kevin, and Miss Hasenfuss approaching behind him.)
The rock and the hard place.
(Shot of Kevin looking toward Miss Hasenfuss off-screen, and backing up against the shelves.)
(Shot of all three as the women pin Kevin against the shelves with the carts.)
NORMA: How have you been?
MISS HASENFUSS: Fine. You?
(Close shot of Norma.)
NORMA: Good.
(Norma glances toward Miss Hasenfuss' cart off-screen.)
NORMA: Look at all those books!
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the cart off-screen.)
(Close shot of the books in the cart. Two of them are "Essentials of Safe Dentistry for the Medically Compromised Patient" and "Partial Removable Prostodontics".)
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss as she smiles.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Yeah...I've been kinda reading up on things. I'm thinking of taking some classes, but...I'm not sure. Even though Kevin tells me I should.
(Close shot of Norma smiling, and looking toward Kevin off-screen.)
MISS HASENFUSS (V/O): Right, Kevin?
NORMA: Oh...
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Norma off-screen. He smiles and nods slightly, then looks toward Miss Hasenfuss off-screen.)
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss. She smiles and glances between Kevin and Norma.)
MISS HASENFUSS: But I'm afraid I'm just not as brave as he is.
(Close shot of Kevin. He looks from Miss Hasenfuss off-screen toward Norma off-screen, then down.)
Ouch.
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Anyway, I can't stop to chat - I have to get back to the office. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Norma worriedly.)
Uh-oh.
(Close shot of Norma frowning slightly toward Miss Hasenfuss off-screen.)
NORMA: Dr. Tucker's office?
(Norma looks toward Kevin and frowns.)
(Close shot of Kevin.)
I was trapped. Like a rat in a ski accident.
(Close shot of Norma looking from Kevin toward Miss Hasenfuss.)
NORMA: But I thought -
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Mom?
(Close shot of Norma looking toward Kevin.)
(Shot from behind Norma of all three.)
It was time for some subtle creative thinking.
KEVIN: Uh, you know, she's gotta get back to the office. (Gestures.) And...you know, there's gonna be traffic getting home.
(Kevin leans on Norma's cart.)
KEVIN: And have you seen the lines at the check-out counters?
(Miss Hasenfuss looks over her shoulder.)
(Close shot of Norma looking toward the check-out counters.)
NORMA: Oh...
(Norma looks toward Kevin off-screen, then Miss Hasenfuss off-screen. She frowns and shakes her head.)
NORMA: Well, I guess we really should go.
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
NORMA (V/O): I'm sure we'll bump into each other again.
(Miss Hasenfuss smiles.)
(Close shot of Kevin smiling as he glances between the women.)
Phew. I was outta there. Free and clear.
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss looking toward Kevin off-screen.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Oh, and Kevin, don't forget to reschedule your appointment.
(She smiles and pushes her cart past the camera.)
(Close shot of Kevin watching her off-screen.)
(Shot from behind Norma as Miss Hasenfuss pushes past her.)
MISS HASENFUSS: And I'm so sorry about the fire.
(Close shot of Norma looking at Kevin off-screen. She shakes her head, then raises her eyebrows.)
NORMA: A fire?
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Norma, speechless. Sound of a whooping fire-alarm. Kevin looks toward Miss Hasenfuss off-screen.)
Cut to
Ext. Day - Dentist Office
(Wide shot of the front of the dentist building, as Dr. Tucker opens the door and steps out, carrying a golf-bag over his shoulder.)
So much for the best laid plans of mice and men.
(Wide shot of Kevin leaning against a building, resting his foot on his bike next to him.)
Particularly mice with mothers.
(Wide shot of Dr. Tucker in front of the building. He looks at his watch, and walks off.)
There was no putting this off.
(Shot of Kevin as he puts some gum in his mouth and gets on his bike.)
It was act now...or face the chair.
(Kevin rides past the camera.)
(Shot past a red Corvette convertible, as Dr. Tucker turns the corner of the building, humming to himself, and walks toward the camera. Kevin is approaching behind him. The camera rolls back as Dr. Tucker approaches it.)
KEVIN: Dr. Tucker?
(Dr. Tucker pauses and turns toward Kevin.)
(Shot past Kevin of Dr. Tucker, as Dr. Tucker looks at him blankly.)
(Shot past Dr. Tucker of Kevin.)
KEVIN: I'm Kevin Arnold...
(Kevin nods slightly.)
KEVIN: Your patient?
(Shot past Kevin of Dr. Tucker.)
DR. TUCKER: Is this an emergency?
(Shot past Dr. Tucker of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Well, kinda. See, I need to make an appointment.
(Shot past Kevin of Dr. Tucker as he nods.)
DR. TUCKER: Well, speak to Hasenfuss.
(Dr. Hasenfuss picks up his golf bag.)
DR. TUCKER: She keeps the books.
(Dr. Tucker turns and sets the golf bag in his car.)
(Shot from behind Dr. Tucker of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Well, that's kind of the problem. (Frowns.)
(Shot past Kevin of Dr. Tucker as he takes off his sunglasses.)
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: You see, I was wondering if...someone else could assist with the filling.
(Close shot of Dr. Tucker. He shakes his head.)
DR. TUCKER: What's wrong with Hasenfuss?
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Well, nothing. Nothing at all. (Gestures.) She's great.
(Kevin looks off.)
KEVIN: It's just...
(Close shot of Dr. Tucker looking at Kevin off-screen, as he puts his sunglasses back on.)
KEVIN (V/O): I'd just...rather have someone else, that's all.
(Shot of Kevin looking down, then toward Dr. Tucker off-screen.)
DR. TUCKER (V/O): Well! She's off Tuesdays.
(Shot past Kevin of Dr. tucker.)
DR. TUCKER: Why don't you come by..about at four o'clock? (Shrugs).
(Shot past Dr. Tucker of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Thanks. (Smiles.)
(Shot past Kevin of Dr. Tucker.)
DR. TUCKER: You're the customer. (Smiles.) Hah.
(Dr. Tucker walks out of the shot around the back of his car, humming to himself.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Dr. Tucker off-screen, then looking down.)
And it was done. I'd been spared.
(Miss Hasenfuss approaches behind Kevin, as Kevin looks at Dr. Tucker off-screen.)
KEVIN: Dr. Tucker?
(Shot across the car of Dr. Tucker as he pauses.)
(Close shot of Kevin frowning.)
KEVIN: You won't tell her, will you? That I didn't want her there?
(Close shot of Dr. Tucker as he lowers his head and looks over the top of his glasses.)
(Close shot of Kevin as he turns slowly and looks over his shoulder. The camera pans slightly to Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Doctor, I forgot to remind you...
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss as Kevin looks down.)
MISS HASENFUSS: You have a nine o'clock tomorrow morning.
(Shot across the car of Dr. Tucker as he points and nods, then opens the car door.)
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss as Kevin looks at her, then down.)
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss looking at Kevin.)
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss as Kevin looks at her, then down.)
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: I have to be getting back to work.
(She looks down briefly, then walks out of the shot. Kevin looks off.)
Fade to
Int. Evening - Arnold Kitchen
(Shot of all at the table, eating.)
The next few days I guess you could say I was kinda off my game.
(Close shot of Kevin as he puts a forkful of food in his mouth and chews.)
Maybe it was my tooth.
(He grimaces in pain and touches his cheek.)
Maybe it was something else.
(He looks off.)
Fade to
Int. Day - Dentist Office
(Shot of Kevin, and another boy in braces, sitting on the waiting-room couch, looking forward.)
All I knew was...
(Shot of the office doorway as a middle-aged woman in glasses approaches and pauses.)
MRS. CRAW: Kevin Arnold?
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: Here.
Oral hygiene...
(Close shot of the woman looking at Kevin off-screen.)
Was never gonna be the same again.
MRS. CRAW: I'm ready for you now.
(Shot of Kevin and the other boy, as they look at each other.)
(Close shot of the woman as she walks up the hallway. The camera rolls back with her, as she glances over her shoulder, and turns a corner.)
The thing is...
(The camera pans toward Kevin approaching up the hallway.)
Even though I knew Miss Hasenfuss wouldn't be around, I could almost see her there.
(The camera stops rolling. Kevin glances off past it, then into another room.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Miss Hasenfuss reaching up to a hanging potted plant.)
In that room where we'd shared our hopes, and dreams.
(Shot of Kevin in the doorway.)
(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Miss Hasenfuss, holding the plant, and looking at Kevin.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Kevin? Hi!
(Shot of Kevin in the doorway. He points in surprise.)
KEVIN: You're...here?
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss, holding the plant, and looking at Kevin off-screen.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Did you come for your filling?
(Shot of Kevin in the doorway. He looks toward the other examination room, then toward Miss Hasenfuss off-screen.)
KEVIN: Yeah.
(Shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Good.
(She sets the plant on the table.)
MISS HASENFUSS: You should get that taken care of.
(Shot of Kevin as he approaches.)
KEVIN: Listen...Miss Hasenfuss.
(Shot from behind Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: I took your advice. (Gestures.) Um, I'm leaving.
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: What?
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss.)
My God, she was taking this harder than I thought.
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin as he frowns.)
KEVIN: Why?
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: I'm going back to school full-time. To become a dentist.
(She smiles and looks down.)
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin frowning.)
MISS HASENFUSS: I think maybe for children.
(Shot past Kevin of Miss Hasenfuss as she smiles.)
MISS HASENFUSS: I mean, now's as good a time as any, right?
(Shot from behind Kevin as Miss Hasenfuss drops a small box. They both kneel down.)
(Close shot of them in profile, as they both pick up the box and look at each other.)
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: I guess I'm kind of nervous.
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss looking at Kevin off-screen.)
(Close shot of Kevin looking at her off-screen.)
KEVIN: I'm sure you'll do just fine. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss as she smiles.)
(Shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin as they rise.)
KEVIN: Hey, I'll take all my kids to ya. (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
MISS HASENFUSS: Promise? (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Kevin as he smiles.)
And at that moment, I learned a little something about fear...and courage.
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss smiling.)
If this woman was brave enough to take life by the horns...
(Close shot of Kevin.)
Maybe I could too.
KEVIN: Miss Hasenfuss?
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
(Close shot of Kevin.)
KEVIN: I, uh...I have this filling.
(Kevin glances over his shoulder.)
KEVIN: Would you assist? (Smiles.)
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss. She smiles and looks down shyly.)
(Music "Syncopated Clock" plays throughout.)
Fade to
The Chair
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss, smiling.)
(Fade to a close shot of Dr. Tucker.)
(Fade to a close shot of Kevin with his mouth open, and Dr. Tucker and Miss Hasenfuss work in his mouth.)
In the end that appointment wasn't any big deal after all.
(Fade to a shot of the wall as the camera pans over to Miss Hasenfuss.)
In fact it was kinda a nice way to say farewell.
(Fade to another close shot of Kevin, as Miss Hasenfuss holds the spit-sucking tube, and Dr. Tucker works with a tool.)
(Fade to a shot past some equipment of Miss Hasenfuss smiling at Kevin off-screen.)
(Fade to a shot of Kevin smiling at Miss Hasenfuss off-screen.)
(Fade to a shot of Miss Hasenfuss' arm and, uh, nametag region. The camera pans to her face as she smiles at Kevin off-screen.)
And sure...
(Close shot of Kevin looking at Miss Hasenfuss off-screen as she wipes his mouth with a cloth.)
Maybe it was the Novocain coursing through my 98-pound body, but...
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss.)
I could swear Miss Hasenfuss had a tear in her eye.
(She looks down, then back up.)
(Close shot past Miss Haenfuss of Kevin, as she wipes his mouth with a cloth.)
And when it was all over...
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss smiling at Kevin off-screen.)
There was nothing left to say but...
MISS HASENFUSS: Don't forget to brush!
(Close shot past Miss Hasenfuss of Kevin looking at her.)
KEVIN: You, too.
(Close shot of Miss Hasenfuss as she smiles, then exits out of the shot.)
Fade to
Ext. Day - Dentist Office
(Shot of the building door as Kevin opens it, steps outside, and looks back at the door.)
I never saw Miss Hasenfuss again after that day.
(Kevin walks toward his bicycle.)
But I like to think that filling meant as much to her...as it did to me.
(Kevin looks toward the office window.)
(Wider shot of Kevin on his bike, as he starts to ride away. The camera pans with him as he turns the corner, and rides past Dr. Tucker's Corvette.)
It's funny, but even now...whenever I pass a professional building, I can't help but look for her name...and remember. Good night, Miss Hasenfuss - wherever you are.
Fade to
CLOSING CREDITS
Supporting Cast
Miss Hasenfuss - Whitney Kershaw
Doug - Brandon Porter
Tommy - Jay Lambert
Dr. Tucker - Gerrit Graham
Mrs. Craw - Mary Gillis
Music
"Sycopated Clock" - LeRoy Anderson (#1 song of 1952.)
"Purple Haze" - Jimi Hendrix
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Episode Info
Wonder Years Menu
02/13/05 01:40