Episode 49 - "The Journey"

Thanks to Isaac Lew for the tape :-)



OPENING SEQUENCE
(Clip from the John Wayne movie "Sands of Iwo Jima" as landing crafts are headed toward the beach.)
-PFC FOWLER: Sarge. I'm scared.
-SGT STRYKER: So am I.
-PFC FOWLER: Not you!
-SGT STRYKER: Fowler, I'm always scared.
-(Sgt Stryker looks around the men.)
-SGT STRYKER: Alright, landing departure - get down! Lock and load!

(Clip of a landing craft. "Colonel Bogey March" plays throughout.)

(Clip of the ramp of the landing craft dropping, and soldiers exiting to the beach.)

Adolescence is a battle.

(Clip of Marines approaching the beach from the landing craft.)

A life-or-death mission into hostile territory.

(Shot of a soldier at the edge of a jungle, cutting vegetation with a machete.)

You tiptoe through minefields.

(Shot of soldiers wading into a pond or river.)

Dodge bullets. Try to do the right thing...

(Clip of about 20 soldiers in chest-high water.)

In a crazy time.

(Clip of a group of Marines raising the second US flag on the top of Mt. Suribachi on Iwo Jima.)

But war has another side. The noble side.

(Clip of a line of soldiers passing the camera. One carries another wounded soldier.)

Forging friendships...

(Clip of another line of soldiers passing the camera.)

Between improbable comrades.

(Clip of three battle-weary soldiers looking at the camera.)

Uniting men.

(Clip of another row of men looking at the camera as it pans across them.)

Bringing together the good...

(Clip of a formation of goose-stepping Nazis.)

The bad...

(Sounds of a sports whistle. "Colonel Bogey March" ends.)

Cut to
Gym Class

(Shot of a row of boys wearing gym clothes.)

The ugly.

(Mr. Cutlip walks into the shot. The camera pans with him as he walks in front of the boys.)

MR. CUTLIP: Men, listen up! Today...

(He pats a white volleyball.)

MR. CUTLIP: We're going to educate your hearts, your minds...and your bodies.

(The camera pauses on Kevin and Paul who exchange glances.)

PAUL: Uh-oh. (Frowns.)

(Kevin sighs.)

MR. CUTLIP (V/O): You'll need...

(Shot past some kids of Mr. Cutlip walks between the opposing rows.)

MR. CUTLIP: Cat-like reflexes...

(He turns quickly toward one boy and fakes tossing the ball toward him.)

MR. CUTLIP: Nerves of steel.

(Shot of Doug, Kevin, Paul and Randy looking toward Mr. Cutlip off-screen.)

MR. CUTLIP (V/O): Most of all...

(Shot of Mr. Cutlip as he approaches something covered in a blue tarp.)

MR. CULTIP: Intestinal fortitude.

(Mr. Cutlip raises the ball at arms-length in front of his face.)

MR. CUTLIP: "I" - "E"...

(Mr. Cutlip pauses, then throws the ball suddenly at his chin.)

MR. CUTLIP: Guts.

(Shot of Doug, Kevin, Paul and Randy. Kevin looks at Paul who frowns and looks down. Randy looks at Mr. Cutlip off-screen and giggles.)

Along around ninth grade, one thing was clear. In the battle of growing up...

(They all look at Mr. Cutlip off-screen.)

Junior high school was basic training.

(Close shot of Mr. Cutlip.)

MR. CUTLIP: It's time to separate the men from the boys, men.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Mr. Cutlip off-screen.)

MR. CUTLIP (V/O): The object...

(Closer shot of Mr. Cutlip.)

MR. CUTLIP: Survival. The game...

(Wider shot of Mr. Cutlip as he reaches over to the blue tarp and dramatically pulls it away, revealing a gymnastic balance beam. He hooks his hands in his front pockets.)

MR. CUTLIP: Deathball.

(Shot of Kevin and Paul looking at Mr. Cutlip off-screen.)

(Close shot of Mr. Cutlip. He straightens his hat.)

MR. CUTLIP: Any volunteers?

Cut to

Deathball

(Shot of three boys simultaneously throwing a ball at an off-screen kid. "War" - Edwin Starr plays.)

(Shot of a boy on the balance beam as he is hit with a series of balls and falls off.)

(Closer shot of another boy. The camera pans down to his feet as he walks along the beam, then falls off.)

(Shot past the beam of Doug, Randy, Paul, Kevin and another boy look toward it, frowning, as another boy falls off.)

(Shot of several boys throwing balls.)

(Shot of another boy falling off the beam.)

(Close shot of Mr. Cutlip as he gets hit in the cheek with a ball.)

(Close shot of a boy's shoes as he walks across the beam.)

(Shot past the beam of Doug, Randy, Paul, Kevin as Doug appraches it.)

(Shot of several boys throwing balls.)

(Shot of Doug protecting himself, then falling off the beam.)

(Close shot of Kevin watching.)

Not that any of us had actually enlisted in this army.

(Shot of Mr. Cutlip as he catches a ball and frowns. He angrily throws it back toward someone off-screen.)

(Shot of Randy, Paul and Kevin as Randy approaches the beam and Paul pats him on the back.)

Still, we'd learned one thing.

(Shot of a few boys throwing balls simultaneously.)

(Shot of Randy on the beam as he is hit and falls off.)

We'd learned how to survive.

(Close shot of Mr. Cutlip.)

MR. CUTLIP: Who's next? (Frowns.)

(Shot of Paul grabbing Kevin by the shoulders and moving him ahead in line.)

(Close shot of Kevin's shoes as he steps onto the beam.)

(Wider shot of Kevin starting across the beam.)

It was all a matter of balance.

(Kevin knocks some balls away.)

Poise. Keeping your head down.

(Closer shot of Kevin.)

Avoiding the war.

(Shot of one boy in particular as he throws the ball.)

(Slow motion shot of Kevin as the ball hits him on the side of the head, he wobbles, the falls off to the sound-effect of a falling bomb.)

Until, that is...

(Close shot of Kevin landing on his back.)

KEVIN: Ugh!

The war came to you.

(Shot of another boy's hand held near Kevin's nose.)

WALTER (V/O): Smell this.

(Kevin sniffs and frowns, then sits up.)

Cut to

Locker Room

(Shot of Paul as Walter approaches him and holds his hand near Paul's nose.)

WALTER: G' ahead.

PAUL: Oooh! (Frowns.)

(The camera follows Walter as Randy tosses something toward Doug. Walter approaches Doug.)

WALTER: Go on!

(He holds his hand under Doug's nose.)

DOUG: It's perfume.

(Walter sniffs his hand.)

WALTER: Not just perfume...

(He rolls his eyes upward.)

WALTER: "Eau de Donna Pescarelli". (Gestures.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Walter off-screen.)

That was Walter McHafferty.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the others.)

"Mr. Hormones". A real hound.

(Close shot of Paul looking at Walter off-screen.)

PAUL: Wait. The Donna Pescarelli? The tenth-grader?

WALTER (V/O): Uh-huh.

(Close shot of Walter looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WALTER: She was in the car - my sister dropped me off this morning.

(He looks at Paul off-screen.)

WALTER: I told her she had a bug on her...

(He leans dramatically toward Kevin off-screen.)

WALTER: She let me take it off!

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Walter off-screen.)

WALTER (V/O): I touched the back of her neck, for at least...

(Close shot of Walter looking at Paul off-screen.)

WALTER: Man...(gestures)...it seemed like forever.

PAUL: Wow...

(Wider shot of all as Walter takes a few steps toward the camera slowly.)

WALTER: And that's not all.

(He turns toward the guys.)

WALTER: I got information. Pescarelli's having a party.

(Close shot of Kevin as someone hands him a towel.)

WALTER (V/O): At her house.

(Kevin looks toward Walter off-screen.)

KEVIN: So? (Frowns.) A party. So what? (Frowns.)

(Kevin puts the towel around his neck.)

(Shot of Walter, Randy and Doug as Walter looks at Kevin off-screen.)

WALTER: A slumber party?

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Walter off-screen.)

But hold on! Did he say..."slumber party"?

(Close shot of Walter looking toward Paul off-screen then Kevin off-screen.)

WALTER: And we're invited. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Walter off-screen.)

ALL: What?!

(Shot of Walter, Randy and Doug as Walter looks around and gestures.)

WALTER: Fiesta del chiquitas, guys!

(Close shot of Randy smiling.)

WALTER (V/O): Pony-tails...

(Close shot of Doug shaking his head slightly.)

WALTER (V/O): Pillow fights, negligees...

(Shot of Kevin looking toward Walter off-screen.)

KEVIN: Wait a minute.

(Kevin glances off and frowns, then looks back to Walter off-screen.)

KEVIN: You're saying high-school girls invited us?

(Close shot of Walter looking at Paul off-screen.)

WALTER: Well, almost.

(He looks at Kevin off-screen.)

WALTER: Practically.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Walter off-screen skeptically.)

(Shot of Walter, Doug and Randy as Walter gestures with both arms.)

WALTER: OK, so we don't have a formal letter of introduction. (Frowns.) Who cares?

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Walter off-screen.)

WALTER (V/O): We know when, we know where...

(Close shot of Walter looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WALTER: So we crash it! (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Randy holding a towel on his neck.)

RANDY: McHafferty, you're dreamin'...

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Walter off-screen.)

DOUG (V/O): Yeah, he's dreaming.

KEVIN: When is it?

(Shot of Walter and Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WALTER: Tomorrow night. Late.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Walter off-screen.)

KEVIN: No, we can't make it.

(He shakes his head.)

(Shot of Walter and Paul and Walter frowns and turns toward Paul.)

KEVIN (V/O): We're goin' camping tomorrow night. In my backyard.

(Close shot of Kevin smiling slightly and looking at Paul off-screen.)

KEVIN: Right, Paul?

(Shot of Paul and Walter. Paul is slightly surprised and looks at Walter.)

PAUL: Oh. Yeah. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin smiling and nodding slightly.)

PAUL (V/O): Right.

(Shot of Paul and Walter.)

WALTER: Suit yourself.

(He glances toward Paul, then looks at Kevin.)

WALTER: You're not the men I though you were.

(Walter glances a his hand as he exits past the camera.)

DOUG and RANDY: Ooohh...

(Shot of Kevin as Walter exits past him.)

Maybe not...but we weren't fools.

(Kevin looks toward Paul off-screen.)

We were...campers.

(Shot of Paul frowning and looking off in thought.)

Men who camped.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

KEVIN: Paul!

(Close shot of Paul looking quickly at Kevin off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

KEVIN: Forget it!

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.)

PAUL: Sure.

Cut to

Cafeteria

(Close shot of a plate of red Jell-O jiggling as it is picked up. The camera pans up to Paul who looks at the Jell-O and frowns in thought.)

PAUL: I wonder what they actually wear to a tenth-grade slumber party.

(Kevin steps next to Paul.)

KEVIN: Paul.

PAUL: Oh.

(Paul sets the Jell-O on his plate.)

(Shot of both turning away from the serving line and walking toward the camera which rolls back.)

PAUL: Do they wear negligees?

(Paul frowns, then brightens.)

PAUL: Do they wear anything? (Smiles.)

(Kevin sighs and frowns at Paul as they walk between some tables.)

PAUL: Sorry. I was just thinking.

KEVIN: Yeah, well don't.

(Randy and Doug approach them excitedly.)

RANDY: We were thinking. Maybe we should go to that party.

PAUL (V/O): Yeah, why not?

DOUG (V/O): Right.

PAUL (V/O): Yeah.

(The camera pans with them as they continue walking.)

I couldn't understand it. These were guys I'd known all my adult life. Now, they were acting like....fourteen-year olds.

(They find an open table. Kevin sets his tray down.)

KEVIN: Look. Randy...

(Kevin sits down.)

(Shot of Randy as he starts to sit down next to Doug.)

RANDY: Yeah, we know. But that's before we heard about the beer.

(Shot past Randy of Kevin and Paul looking at him.)

KEVIN: What beer?

(Paul frowns.)

(Close shot of Doug frowning.)

DOUG: Well, Walter's sister says...

(He looks at Randy off-screen.)

DOUG: All we have to do is show up with a few brewskis...

(He looks toward Kevin off-screen.)

DOUG: And it's "babe-o-rama". (Frowns.)

Uh-huh.

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Doug off-screen.)

That sounded like Walter's sister.

KEVIN: Beer.

(Kevin looks at Paul off-screen, then Randy off-screen.)

KEVIN: Where are you guys gonna get beer?

(Close shot of Randy looking down in thought.)

Hmmm.

(Close shot of Doug frowning and making a face.)

You could almost hear...

(Close shot of Paul looking forward uncertainly.)

The wheels grinding.

(Close shot of Doug.)

DOUG: It's not going to work.

(He looks toward Randy off-screen.)

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Of course it's not going to work.

(He frowns and nods.)

RANDY (V/O): Sure it will. Once...

(Close shot of Randy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

RANDY: We find a place to tell our parents we're spending the night. (Smiles).

(Close shot of Doug looking at Paul off-screen.)

DOUG: Any ideas?

(Close shot of Paul.)

Uh-oh.

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Paul off-screen.)

I could sense...

(Close shot of Paul looking forward blankly.)

My quiet evening of camping...

(Paul perks up and looks toward Kevin off-screen.)

About to go up in a blaze of futility.

(Close shot of Kevin frowning slightly and looking at the guys.)

KEVIN: Nobody has any ideas.

(Kevin looks at Paul off-screen.)

KEVIN: Paul. (Nods).

(Close shot of Paul sighing.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Randy off-screen.)

KEVIN: Nobody.

Cut to

Exterior Night - Kevin's Backyard

(Wide shot of a tent with shadows of boys inside. Sound of an owl.)

RANDY (V/O): This is a great idea.

Cut to

Int. Night - The Tent

(Shot of Doug, Randy, Paul and Kevin in the tent as Doug reaches forward.)

DOUG: Pass the cookies.

(Shot past Doug of Kevin.)

Made ya wonder if Daniel Boone had nights like this.

(Shot of Doug and Randy as Doug eats a cookie and Randy holds up some binoculars.)

RANDY: Look at these. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin glancing around and frowning slightly.)

Not that I couldn't be hospitable.

KEVIN: Guys? Get out.

(Shot of Doug and Randy.)

RANDY: What? (Frowns.)

DOUG: That's not very nice.

(Shot past Doug of Kevin as he gestures.)

KEVIN: You heard me. This tent isn't big enough for all of us.

(Shot of Doug and Randy.)

RANDY: Don't worry. We're only stayin' till Walter shows up with the beers.

(Shot past Doug of Kevin as he sighs and smiles.)

KEVIN: Randy, it's not gonna happen.

(Wider shot of all as Walter enters holding a bottle of beer in each hand.)

WALTER: Make way for the suds! (Smiles.)

RANDY: That a way, Walter.

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the beer off-screen as Walter sets it down.)

DOUG (V/O): Way to go!

(Close shot of two bottles of "Valentine" beer on a blanket.)

It was beer! Actual barley and hops!

(A hand picks up one bottle.)

The kind cowboys and ballplayers drank.

WALTER (V/O): Here it is...

(Shot of Walter and Paul as Walter looks at a bottle.)

WALTER: Our ticket to paradise, gents.

(Shot past the beer of Kevin frowning slightly.)

DOUG (V/O): Oh!

RANDY (V/O): Right!

(Shot of Doug and Randy smiling at each other.)

PAUL (V/O): Yeah! This is great.

(Shot past the beer of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Alright.

(He looks toward Walter and shakes his head.)

KEVIN: That's it.

(Wide shot of all.)

I had enough. It was time...

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Doug off-screen.)

To set these guys straight. Once and for all.

KEVIN: You guys are nuts - d'you know that?

(He looks toward Walter off-screen.)

KEVIN: I mean you don't have a chance. You'll never make it to the party and you'll probably get caught - and you'll never get in!

(Close shot of Walter shrugging slightly and looking down.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Walter off-screen.)

KEVIN: I mean this idea's completely...(shrugs)...stupid.

(Close shot of Paul raising his eyebrows and frowning slightly.)

It was a bitter pill, maybe...

(The camera pans to Walter who looks at Paul.)

But something any idiot could understand.

(Walter looks toward Doug off-screen as the camera pans to Randy.)

Almost any idiot.

(The camera pans to Doug who puts a potato chip in his mouth.)

(Close shot of Randy as an owl hoots.)

RANDY: Maybe he's right. (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Randy off-screen.)

KEVIN: Of course I am. (Nods.)

And I was. Except...

(Wide shot of all.)

At that moment...something happened.

(Dramatic music starts.)

(Shot past Doug of Kevin.)

Something made me realize some things were bigger than logic.

(A shadow looms larger and larger on the tent behind Kevin.)

Mightier than reason.

(Close shot of Doug opening his eyes wide.)

DOUG: Look out!

(Shot past Doug of Kevin as the tent folds around him.)

WAYNE (V/O): Wah!

Cut to

Outside

(Wide shot of the collapsed tent in the yard as Wayne holds it down.)

(Paul emerges and stands up.)

(Close shot of Kevin on his back, struggling to get up as Wayne holds him down.)

WAYNE (V/O): Well, well, well. What do we have here? A rabbit? A fox?

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: Why, no - it's a Kevie! (Smiles.)

(Close shot past Wayne of Kevin struggling.)

KEVIN: Wayne, get off you butthead!

(Close shot of Wayne shrugging slightly.)

WAYNE: Can't do it. (Smiles.)

(Shot of Doug, Walter, Randy and Paul looking at Kevin and Wayne off-screen.)

RANDY: Get off him.

(They start to step forward.)

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne as Wayne looks toward the guys off-screen.)

WAYNE: Back off! One move and he dies. (Frowns.)

(Shot of Doug, Walter, Randy and Paul as they step back.)

(Close shot past Wayne of Kevin frowning at him.)

KEVIN: Wayne!

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen as he pushes him aroung. Kevin is grunting..)

WAYNE: Lucky thing for you girls, and I just happened to be strolling by...

(Close shot past Wayne of Kevin frowning at him.)

WAYNE (V/O): Seems I overheard something about a...

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: Slumber party?

(Wayne sees the bottle of beer and frowns.)

WAYNE: Oh, and beer?

(Wayne looks at Kevin off-screen as he clicks his cheek and waggles his finger.)

(Shot of Doug, Walter, Randy and Paul looking at Kevin and Wayne off-screen.)

PAUL: Wayne - leave 'em alone.

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: Oh, well, these of course...

(Close shot of the bottles next to Kevin as Wayne picks them up.)

WAYNE: Will have to be destroyed.

(Close shot of Randy and Paul. Paul drops his head and Randy frowns.)

DOUG (V/O): Oh, no...

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: Let's see...anything else?

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: Ah, yes...(frowns)...the address. (Nods.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Wayne off-screen.)

KEVIN: You're crazy.

(Close shot of Wayne as he begins to pummel Kevin.)

(Close shot past Wayne of Kevin struggling.)

KEVIN: Go ahead - I'm not gonna tell ya anything.

(Close shot of Wayne as he pushes Kevin.)

KEVIN (V/O): Wayne!

It was a desperate moment.

(Close shot past Wayne of Kevin struggling.)

Still, lying there...

KEVIN (V/O): Let me go!

(Close shot of Paul looking concerned.)

Ground into the mud...

KEVIN (V/O): Wayne!

(Close shot of Walter looking at them off-screen with concern.)

I understood for the first time...

(Close shot of Doug stepping forward slightly.)

What the guys had been telling me all along.

(Close shot past Wayne of Kevin struggling.)

(Close shot of Randy glancing toward Paul off-screen.)

KEVIN (V/O): Get off!

That some things were worth fighting for.

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin and Wayne off-screen.)

(Shot of Kevin as Wayne forces Kevin's hand to slap himself.)

No matter how stupid.

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin and Wayne off-screen.)

PAUL: No, don't! I'll tell you! It's seven twenty Goodman avenue!

(Shot of Kevin and Wayne.)

KEVIN: Paul!

(Wayne looks at Paul off-screen.)

WAYNE: Thanks, Mr. Pfeiffer. (Smiles.)

(Wayne looks toward the others off-screen.)

WAYNE: Gentlemen...(Frowns.)

(Shot of the others.)

(Close shot of Wayne looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WAYNE: Better not see you at the party. (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Kevin struggling as Wayne pushes his face.)

(Wider shot of the guys as Wayne stands up and laughs, then exits.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking after him off-screen.)

It was kind of a low moment.

(Shot of the four guys.)

RANDY: There goes the beer. (Gestures.)

DOUG: There goes the whole night.

(Shot of Kevin as he extricates himself from the tent.)

KEVIN: I can't believe you told him the address.

(Wider shot of all as Kevin stands up.)

PAUL: I had to. (Shrugs.) He was gonna kill you!

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

WALTER (V/O): Ya, except...

(Close shot of Walter looking at Kevin off-screen.)

WALTER: That's not where Pescarelli lives. (Shrugs.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

(Wide shot of all as they turn to Paul. An owl hoots.)

(Close shot of Paul nodding toward Kevin off-screen.)

PAUL: My uncle Arnie - the herpetologist. (Smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen and smiling.)

WALTER (V/O): All we have to do...

(Close shot of Walter's open jacket showing a beer in each side. The camera pans up to Walter.)

WALTER: Is show it to 'em, and we're in...(Smiles.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Walter off-screen.)

And in that moment, I made up my mind.

(Kevin smiles.)

(Wider shot of all as they exit.)

KEVIN: Let's go!

WALTER: We're out 'o here...

Fade to

Ext Night - Bus Stop

(Shot of Kevin, Walter, Paul, Randy and Doug seated on a bus stop bench in front of a "food mart".)

There's something about battle that quickens the pulse.

(Close shot of Paul looking forward blankly. The camera pans across the guys.)

As we waited for the bus to Donna Pescarelli's house...

(Randy is looking off, blankly.)

We felt a surging in our blood.

(Doug is looking forward and twitching slightly.)

The thrill of the mission.

(Shot down the street as a bus approaches and honks.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the bus off-screen.)

Sure, it was dangerous. Some of us might not come back.

(Close shot of Paul looking forward blankly.)

At least we hoped so.

(Paul looks toward the bus off-screen.)

(Shot down the street as the bus approaches.)

(Close shot of Paul standing up.)

But, united in struggle...

(Close shot of Kevin standing up.)

Bonded by a common cause...

(Close shot of Doug standing up.)

We awaited our destiny.

(Wide shot of all as the bus passes by them.)

WALTER: Well...let's start walkin'.

(Some Snuffy guitar plays as Walter walks off, followed by the others. Some bugle music plays.)

Fade to

Ext Night - Street

(Shot of Walter walking along the sidewalk. "Colonel Bogey March" plays.)

Heading through the darkness...

(Walter steps into the street, followed by the others.)

Towards Donna Pescarelli's slumber party that night...

(They apprach the camera, all carrying flashlights.)

There seemed to be something magical, mythical, about being out in the empty streets in an unknown part of town.

Fade to

"Later"

(Shot of the boys walking across a fence or large railing.)

We were like a band of soldiers. A lost brigade, marching though these foreign lands. Away from all civilization.

Fade to

Ext Night - Diner

(Shot of the guys at an outdoor table at a diner, with baskets of food in front of Doug, who is eating.)

With an occasional stop for refueling.

(Kevin frowns and looks at the others.)

KEVIN: Let's go.

(Doug continues to eat hurriedly as the others start to walk away.)

WOMAN (V/O): Number fifty eight.

(Doug stands up.)

WOMAN (V/O): Number fifty eight - pick up!

Fade to

The Street

(Shot of the guys looking skyward as they approach the camera.)

Still, out there under the silent stars...alone with our thoughts...our minds naturally turned to the greater issues.

(Paul slows up and Kevin bumps into him.)

PAUL: My feet are killing me.

(Paul kneels down.)

KEVIN: Well, why'd you wear those stupid shoes? (Gestures.)

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen. Randy is watching in the background.)

PAUL: Hey, look - I didn't know I was gonna be walking.

(Randy turns to leave.)

PAUL: Besides...

(Randy pauses as Paul holds up a shoe.)

PAUL: Babes notice things like shoes.

(Wider shot of Paul sitting in front of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Put your shoes back on.

(Paul covers his nose and mouth with both hands.)

(Shot past Paul of Walter and Randy as Paul sneezes.)

WALTER: Shhh! (Frowns.)

(Paul turns toward Kevin off-screen.)

PAUL: I must be allergic to something in this part of town.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

WALTER (V/O): Come on, guys!

(Shot of Doug, Walter, and Randy.)

WALTER: We gotta move!

(Shot past Walter of Paul and Kevin as Paul pats his pockets.)

PAUL: Oh, no. Now I'm in trouble.

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen, with the others in the background.)

PAUL: I forgot my inhaler.

It was kinda like Napoleon...

(Shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

Forgetting his hat.

KEVIN: Oh, well, what d'yo want to do now, Paul?

(Kevin puts his hands on his hips.)

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen, with the others in the background.)

PAUL: Well, I don't know.

(Paul turns toward Walter.)

PAUL: Could we go back?

(Close shot of Kevin.)

Our first major setback.

(Shot of Doug, Walter, and Randy.)

Someone had to act before our morale was crushed.

(Shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

KEVIN: Come on, Paul...(frowns)...don't be such a wuss.

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen, with the others in the background.)

PAUL: Oh. Nice, Kev...Real nice.

(Paul starts to stand up.)

(Shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

Sure, it was rough. But absolutely necessary.

PAUL (V/O): Let's go.

After all, somebody had to keep this company moving.

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the guys walking away.)

Someone like...

(Sound of screeching tires of an approaching vehicle.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking over his shoulder as some lights shine on him.)

(Shot down the street of headlights of an approaching vehicle. Some dramatic music plays.)

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of the guys as they turn around then run forward.)

RANDY: They're comin'!

WALTER: Run!

(Close shot of Kevin running past the camera.)

(Hand held shot follows the other kids as they run down the sidewalk.)

(Shot of the headlights of the approaching vehicle.)

DOUG (V/O): Oh, no...no!

(Hand-held shot of Kevin running and looking over his shoulder,)

(Hand-held shot of the other guys running along the sidewalk.)

DOUG (V/O): Come on...jump!

(The guys leap toward a hedge.)

(Shot of the hedge as the guys go through and over it.)

(Shot across the hedge as the guys groan and grunt, and the vehicle passes by. The camera pans down the hedge.)

OK - it was only a station-wagon.

(The camera stops on Kevin who sits up and pull leaves from his hair.)

But it could have been the cops.

(Shot of the others cleaning themselves up.)

Anyway, it was our first real taste of action.

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the others.)

KEVIN: Everybody OK?

RANDY: Yeah.

(Wider shot of all as Doug rubs his ankle.)

DOUG: I think I'm hurt.

(Walter approaches Doug.)

WALTER: Lemme see it.

(Shot of Kevin and Randy looking on.)

KEVIN: How's it look?

(Shot of Doug, Walter and Paul.)

WALTER: Not too good. It startin' to swell up.

(Doug looks down.)

(Shot of Kevin and Randy looking on.)

(Shot of Doug, Walter and Paul.)

DOUG: No, it always looks like that.

PAUL: So now what are we gonna do?

(Paul stands up.)

(Shot of Kevin and Randy looking on.)

RANDY: We'll just have to carry 'em.

(Kevin looks at Randy as Randy gets up.)

KEVIN: Are you nuts? (Frowns.)

(Wider shot of all as they get to their feet.)

KEVIN Carry Doug? Who's gonna do that?

(Shot past Doug of Randy glancing around.)

RANDY: Step back.

Randy Mitchell. A real buddy.

(Randy bends down.)

The kind of guy you could count on.

(Randy loads Doug over his shoulder.)

RANDY: Uh.

(Shot of Randy and Doug, with Paul watching in the background.)

The kind of guy who could move mountains.

DOUG: Ah! Oh! (Frowns.)

(Some "comical" music plays as the guys walks away from the camera.)

PAUL: Gentle. Gentle.

Cut to

Under the Bleachers

(Shot of the ground as Doug flops onto his back.)

Half a block later, we understood why mountains...

(Close shot of Randy with his hands on his hips.)

Don't move.

RANDY: Maybe we should leave 'em.

(Close shot of Doug looking around worriedly.)

DOUG: Not that! Anything but that!

(Close shot of Walter.)

WALTER: Alright. Here.

(Walter takes a beer from his jacket and holds it out.)

(Wider shot of Kevin and Paul as Paul takes the beer.)

WALTER: Hold these...

(Walter's hand holds the other bottle to Kevin, who takes it.)

WALTER: I'll go find 'em a crutch.

(Wider shot of all as Walter walks off.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking after Walter off-screen.)

And suddenly, right under those bleachers, it hit me...

(Shot from Kevin's perspective of Walter hopping over some trusses.)

Something was happening to us.

(Close shot of Kevin looking after Walter off-screen.)

Something...important.

(Kevin looks over his shoulder at Paul off-screen.)

(Close shot of Paul sighing and resting his head and arm on the bleachers.)

Right here. Right now.

(Close shot of Kevin glancing around and smiling slightly.)

Events were bringing out our true personalities.

(Shot of Walter approaching a chain-link fence and beginning to climb it.)

The leader.

(Close shot of Doug looking down.)

The wounded.

(Close shot of Kevin looking from Doug off-screen to Randy off-screen.)

(Close shot of Randy rubbing his shoulder and frowning.)

The stalwart.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Randy off-screen as Paul sneezes. Kevin looks toward Paul off-screen as Paul sneezes again.)

(Close shot of Paul covering his nose and mouth and sneezing again.)

The allergic.

(Paul frowns and rubs his chin.)

(Close shot of Kevin setting a bottle on the bleacher.)

(Closer shot of the ground as the bottle falls onto it and breaks.)

The klutz.

(Close shot of Kevin looking up.)

(Shot of Doug and Randy.)

RANDY: The beer.

(Doug looks horrified and steps back.)

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen and tapping his shoulder.)

PAUL: Nice play, Shakespeare. (Frowns.)

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: Sorry, guys. (Shrugs.)

(Shot of Randy and Doug. Randy sits down dejectedly.)

DOUG: Great. Now we're down to one lousy beer.

RANDY: Tell me about it.

(Close shot of Kevin looking down.)

It was terrible. I'd single-handedly wrecked the mission.

(Kevin looks up.)

(Shot of Doug and Walter, who is holding a stick.)

WALTER: Well, there's only one thing to do now.

(Wider shot of Kevin and Paul looking at Walter off-screen.)

(Shot of Walter and Doug as Walter shrugs and smiles slightly.)

WALTER: Stop by my house.

Cut to

Ext. Night - Walter's House

(High shot of the guys hurrying along the side of the house.)

It was a desperate gamble. About six streets out of our way.

(The camera pans up with the guys as they approach the garage.)

But we needed more ammo.

WALTER: In here! Get in!

(Walter opens the squeeky garage door, and the guys enter.)

Cut to

Ext. Night - The Garage

(Wide shot of Paul and the others as they enter the dark garage.)

WALTER: OK - here's the plan.

(Shot past Walter of Randy, Kevin and Paul looking at him.)

WALTER: I sneak into the house...grab some more beers...then we head out.

(Shot of Walter and Doug.)

WALTER: Everybody understand?

DOUG: Sounds simple enough.

(Shot of Randy and Kevin.)

RANDY: Don't we need a signal?

(Kevin looks at Randy.)

KEVIN: Why? (Frowns.)

RANDY: I don't know. (Shrugs). Seems like we ought to have a signal.

(Shot of Walter and Doug. Walter shrugs uncertainly, and put his hands near his mouth.)

WALTER: "Coo-coo, coo-coo".

(Shot of Randy and Kevin.)

WALTER (V/O): OK?

(Randy nods.)

(Shot of Walter and Doug.)

WALTER: Alright.

(Walter takes the beer from his jacket.)

WALTER: It's the last one, man.

(He approaches Kevin.)

WALTER: Guard it...with your life.

(Shot past Walter of Kevin and Randy as Kevin takes the beer.)

KEVIN: Don't worry.

(Kevin sets the beer down, then looks at Walter.)

KEVIN: I will.

(Shot of Walter and Doug.)

WALTER: Well...I'm outta here.

(Walter turns and passes Doug on his way to the door.)

DOUG: Hey, Walt?

(Walter turns and pauses.)

WALTER: Yeah?

(Shot past Walter of Doug looking at him.)

I guess Doug was gonna speak what was in all our hearts.

DOUG: Could you maybe...grab some, some peanut butter and some bread while you're in there?

(Close shot of Walter rolling his eyses.)

DOUG (V/O): I'm starving.

(Walter turns and exits.)

(Shot of Kevin, Paul and Randy stepping forward and joining Doug at the window.)

(Shot past the guys through the window as Walter trots toward the house.)

As we watched that baby-faced rascal make his way into enemy turf...

(Walter opens the door to the house.)

(Shot of the guys through the window watching Walter off-screen.)

We felt a lump welling in our throats.

(Paul covers his mouth and sneezes.)

(Shot though the window of the dark house.)

WALTER (V/O): "Coo-coo, coo-coo"!

(Shot though the window of the guys.)

GUYS: "Coo-coo, coo-coo"! "Coo-coo, coo-coo"! "Coo-coo, coo-coo"!

(Shot past the guys out the window toward the house.)

GUYS: "Coo-coo, coo-coo"! "Coo-coo, coo-coo"!

(Wide shot of the garage exterior.)

GUYS (V/O): "Coo-coo, coo-coo"!

Looking back, it's more than likely...

(Higher shot of the garage.)

GUYS (V/O): "Coo-coo, coo-coo"!

We got a little carried away.

(Shot past the guys out the window toward the house.)

In any case...

GUYS: "Coo-coo, coo-coo"! "Coo-coo, coo-coo"!

(The light comes on in the house.)

WOMAN (V/O): Walter...

(Close shot through the garage window of Kevin looking out.)

WOMAN (V/O): What do you think you're doing?

KEVIN: Oh, no!

(Shot through the garage window of the house.)

WALTER (V/O): I wasn't doing anything...

WOMAN (V/O): It's ten o'clock at night! I won't stand for it!

(Shot through the window of Paul, Doug and Randy looking concerned.)

It was horrible.

(Randy drops his head and puts his hand on his forehead.)

Not more than twenty yards from where we stood...

(Shot through the garage window of the house.)

Walter McHafferty was being grounded by his mother.

(Close shot through the garage window of Kevin looking toward the house.)

And there was nothin' we could do about it.

(Shot through the garage window of the house as the light is turned off.)

WOMAN (V/O): Right now, young man! Right to bed!

(Shot through the garage window of the guys looking out.)

And then, it was over.

RANDY: I don't believe it.

(Randy turns away.)

(Shot of the guys as they turn away from the window toward the camera.)

DOUG: Maybe he'll come back.

PAUL: He's not coming back.

(Randy, Paul and Doug walk across the garage.)

So, we did what all good troops do when they lose their leader.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at them off-screen.)

We started whining.

(Shot past Kevin of the guys milling about.)

DOUG: I'm hungry.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Doug off-screen.)

KEVIN: You're always hungry, Doug. (Frowns.)

(Shot of Doug and Randy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

Which turned into bickering.

RANDY: Leave him alone. This isn't his fault.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Randy off-screen.)

KEVIN: No, it's your fault - for doing that stupid signal. (Gestures.)

(Shot of Doug and Randy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

RANDY: Hey look, we wouldn't even be here if you hadn't dropped the beer.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Randy off-screen.)

KEVIN: Yeah? Well, for your information, I didn't even want to come on this stupid trip.

(Shot of Doug and Randy looking at Kevin off-screen.)

RANDY: That's obvious. That's why you sabotaged the beer.

DOUG: What are we gonna do?

(Shot of the garage exterior.)

KEVIN (V/O:) How should I know?

(Sound of arguing is heard.)

We were near total meltdown, and there was no one to save us. And then...

(Shot of Paul facing away from the camera.)

It happened.

PAUL: What are we gonna do?

(Paul turns quickly and steps forward.)

PAUL: I'll tell ya what we're gonna do.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

(Shot past Kevin of the others looking at Paul.)

PAUL: We're gonna go. And we're gonna...keep...going.

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

(Close shot of Paul looking around the guys off-screen as some "battle hymn" music plays.)

PAUL: We're gonna get to Donna Pescarelli's house...not because we have to, or even because we want to...but because...

(Paul pauses and looks off.)

PAUL: Well...

(Paul sighs and looks forward.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

(Shot of Doug and Randy looking at Paul off-screen.)

(Close shot of Paul looking at Kevin off-screen.)

PAUL: Walter would have wanted it that way. (Nods.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking at Paul off-screen.)

The funny thing is...

(Close shot of Paul looking at the guys off-screen.)

He didn't even sneeze once.

PAUL: Come on. Let's move out.

(Wider shot as the guys head toward the garage, open it, and exit.)

(Shot of the guys coming out of the garage door. Thunder sounds and a bright flash of lightning goes off. Paul shields his face, then the guys hurry off past the camera.)

PAUL: Let's go!

DOUG: Wait for me!

Fade to

Night - The Street

(Shot of the street and sidewalk as a hard rain falls. Paul leads Kevin and the others past the camera.)

I'm not sure how long we walked. Maybe days. Maybe...hours. Maybe about fifteen minutes. All I knew is we weren't the same bright-eyed kids who'd started out those hours earlier that autumn night.

Cut to

Ext. Night - Donna Pescarelli's house.

(Shot from the yard of the white picket fence as Paul and the others approach, crouched down. The camera rolls with them.)

We were veterans. We'd seen the worst, and we'd survived.

(The guys group together at the fence and look toward the off-screen house.)

And now...

(Shot past the guys of the house. A girls' silhouette is on a window shade.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the house off-screen.)

KEVIN: I think we're here. (Smiles.)

(Closer shot of the window shade as two girls are silhouetted on it, and their voices can be heard.)

PAUL (V/O): Definitely!

(Shot of the guys looking toward the house off-screen.)

RANDY: We made it.

(Paul smiles and holds up the beer, then looks at it and frowns as he starts to clean off the bottle.)

DOUG: I'm gonna rest.

(Doug sits down out of the shot.)

RANDY: You guys wait here. I'll go scout it out.

(Randy exits.)

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward the house off-screen.)

(Close shot of Paul looking toward the house off-screen.)

(Shot of Kevin and Paul looking toward the house off-screen. The camera pushes in slowly.)

They say that soldiers are never so close as on the eve of battle. While standing there with Paul, waiting for the signal...

(Kevin glances toward Paul.)

I could feel that closeness.

(Kevin looks toward the house off-screen.)

KEVIN: Hey, Paul, look. Sorry about what I said back there.

PAUL: Hey...

KEVIN: The "wuss" stuff, ya know.

PAUL: Forget about it. So...

(Paul glances at Kevin.)

PAUL: We're really goin' in there.

(Paul looks forward.)

KEVIN: Um-huh. (Nods.)

(Close shot of Paul.)

PAUL: I'm scared.

(Close shot of Kevin.)

KEVIN: What are you scared about? (Gestures.)

(Shot of both looking forward.)

And then Paul said something I'll never forget.

PAUL: Kev? I'm a virgin.

(Kevin rolls his eyes toward Paul, then looks forward.)

It was possibly the deepest secret Paul had ever revealed to me. And I knew I had to say something to reassure him.

KEVIN: Yeah, well...ya know....a lot, a lot of the guys are.

(Kevin looks toward Paul, embarrassed.)

RANDY (V/O): "Coo-coo, coo-coo"!

(Close shot of Kevin looking toward Randy off-screen, then down at Doug off-screen.)

KEVIN: Doug, let's go.

(Close shot of Paul looking at Doug off-screen. Snoring can be heard.)

KEVIN (V/O): Doug?

(Shot of Paul and Kevin glancing at each other. Paul sighs and Kevin smiles as they exit. Some dramatic music plays.)

(Shot of the house, and Randy at the window in the distance. The hand-held camera follows Kevin and Paul as they approach the house.)

The events of battle are never quite clear. Smoke obscures the battlefield. Things get confused.

(Kevin and Paul join Randy at the window.)

RANDY: Go ahead - knock on the window.

(Kevin knocks on the window pane.)

(Close shot of Kevin and Randy looking toward the window off-screen.)

Only later did historians sort out the facts.

(The window light shines on them.)

(Shot past the guys through the window as a girl raises the window shade.)

(Shot through the window of Paul, Kevin and Randy as they smile, and Paul waves the bottle of beer. "Daydream Believer - The Monkees is heard in the girls' room.)

It's enough to say that that night...we met the enemy. Face...

(Shot past the guys through the window as a second girl approaches.)

To face.

GIRL2: Who is it?

(Girl1 turns toward Girl2.)

GIRL1: It's just a bunch ninth-graders.

(Girl1 looks at the boys as she pulls the shade down.)

(Shot of Kevin and Randy looking at the window off-screen as the shade is lowered.)

And the rest...

(Shot of Randy, Kevin and Paul at the window as a flashlight shines on them.)

MAN (V/O): Who's out there?!

(Shot of a man holding a flashlight.)

Is history.

(Shot of Randy, Kevin and Paul looking toward the man off-sceen.)

RANDY: The old man!

(Shot of Paul as the others run off.)

RANDY: Scatter!

(Paul looks at the beer, then sets it on the window sill.)

But it was an honorable retreat.

(High shot of the guys running through the yard.)

In some way we couldn't exactly express...

(The guys run onto the sidewalk and away.)

We'd accomplished our mission. We'd done what we had to do.

(Sound of a barking dog.)

Fade to

The Street

(Shot of a parked car. Some Snuffy guitar plays throughout. The guys walk into the scene.)

By the time we got back together...

(The guys apprach the camera side-by-side, animatedly talking.)

Our adventure had become an epic.

PAUL:...babes. Oh my god, the father...at least...(gestures)...three hundred pounds...

KEVIN: And he had a shot gun. Gestures.) I swear he had a shot-gun.

We were entitled to a little exaggeration. Every soldier is.

(Shot of the asphalt as the guys legs come into the shot. They walk up the street away from the camera, silhoueted in blue light.)

After all, if growing up is war, then those friends who grew up with you deserve a special respect.

(They put their arms around each others' shoulders.)

The ones who stuck by you, shoulder-to-shoulder, in a time when nothing is certain. When all life lay ahead. And every road led home.

(The music swells as the guys disappear over the top of the hill.)

Fade to

CLOSING TITLES

Music
Colonel Bogey March
"War" - Edwin Starr
"Daydream Believer" - The Monkees

Supporting Cast
Walter McHaffey - John Anthony
Mr. Cutlip - Robert Picardo



Next Episode
Episode Titles/Transcripts
Episode Info

Wonder Years Menu

02/05/05 12:30